~KrystaLyn~ "Let's Change This Body!" Journal

[seb]

Will deployed again? Oh, I hope that doesn't happen, but I guess that's the life of a military wife. My BIL retired last year because he knew he would be deployed if he didn't. After having many overseas assignments, they just didn't want to do that. But as a Lt. Col. he has a good retirement and a good job now.

Your blinkys are cute.

[KrystaLyn]

Well, I am trying again today and hopfully I can stick to it. Started my morning with a protein shake made from Activia yogurt, water pp and spinach. Gotta get my veggies in nice and early, right?

A lot has been going on. First of all, I was right, my hormones are totally screwed up. After not ovulating until day 40 last cycle, I decided I needed to go to the Dr. and get some help, especially since Will is deploying again as early as late September. If I am going to keep having 55 day cycles, that would only give me like 2 more chances before he left, and I am NOT waiting antoher 15 months to be able to try to conceive again! SO...I went to the Dr. and had an ultrasound. Sure enough, my ovaries were "all worked up" as he put it. I could see the "cysts" (not really cysts, just half developed follicles that were trying to come to maturity) myself. No wonder I have been breaking out with zits so badly. That is always my first sign that my hormones are whacked out. of course, being off the diet doesn't help, I'm sure, but I have been so depressed lately that I can't seem to love myself enough to get back on, you know?

And as far as being depressed, I'm not sure if its enough to go see a Dr about, besides the fact that I can't take anti-depressants anyway if I am TTC, so it would be pointless.

So anyway, my Dr. wants to put me on a medicated cycle next cycle. He wants to do a combination of Clomid and Injectables...fun stuff. Oh won't Will be happy! He hates it when I'm doped up, cause I'm not myself. But we both agreed that we are ready to try a medicated cycle again. Especially since we are running out of time before the deployment. So...now I'm debating whether I should take some Provera from a different Dr. so that I can force a period sooner, so that I can start my medicated cycle. I am on day 19 of my cycle already with no ovulation in sight. And if I wait and it ends up going 35-40 days like my last 2 cycles, that puts me at over a month's wait when you take into consideration the 14 day I have to wait for my period to start after I ovulate!

And that brings me back to trying to get back on the wagon, diet-wise. If I take the Provera and don't have to worry about trying to ovulate this cycle, then I can do induction clear up until I start this new cycle, and possibly even until I ovulate or my Dr. triggers me, whichever way it's going to happen. Besides, I'm hoping it makes me feel better, which in the long run, I know it will.

So, wish me luck! I'm going to need it...

[seb]

I'm sorry that you're having to work so hard to have a baby.

Sometimes it amazes me that some women that can conceive so easily don't even want their children, and those that do sometimes have a hard time.

I will be praying that you conceive successfully and that the pregnancy will be a healthy one.

[godsbeloved79]

Hi Krystal,

I can so relate to what you are going through . I'm praying along with Sue that you conceive successfully and that the pregnancy will be a healthy one.

[lcq]

Hey Krys I am praying that it all works out for you soon

take care hun

[seb]

Morning Krysta. Miss hearing from you.

[Low Carb Mommy]

It's great to hear from you Krysta. I am so sorry it has been so difficult for you to conceive. I know when I had trouble conceiving there was nothing really anyone could say to comfort me month after month when things didn't happen. I can tell you though that trusting God with His timing is one of the most awesome things that we can do to honor our Heavenly Father. All blessing do come from Him. He will bless you with the desires of your heart Krysta. He wants to give you and Will a child. Trust Him with your body....trust Him that when it is the right time he will bless your family with a child. I spent so many days stressing with getting pregnant when all I had to do was trust. There are so many things outside ourselves that we don't know. So many reasons we may not ever understand why he delays in bringing what we pray for. We have to trust that He knows what is best for us. He will withhold no good thing for us! I love you girl. I am praying for you to have strength. Look forward to hearing from you soon.

[KrystaLyn]

Thanks, you guys, for all the encouragement. Just as an update, I did take the Provera, which caused me to start my period only 10 days after starting it! A lot better than waiting another month! So tomorrow I am supposed to start the Clomid...if the Drs office ever gets aroudn to calling it in! Ive called the past 2 days to make sure it has been called in and so far it hasn't. Grrr... Anyway, I start that tomorrow and then 5 days after that, I do the injections. I go in for an ultrasound on May 2nd to see how big my follies are at that point. I'm not sure if the Dr. is going to trigger me or not, but either way, I will be Ovulating in roughly 2 weeks. I'm so nervous. I just want it to work so bad, but I have been disappointed so many times, I can't seem to really let myself get my hopes up. I'm already psyching myself up for failure. The only things that are giving me a little hope are the fact that I got pregnant on my own back in November, and that my new Dr. seems to know a lot better what he is doing than my last one. Still...I'm scared, but willing to do whatever it takes. So...that's where I am right now.

Other than that, I banged my head really bad today, and it still hurts. It even hurts when I chew, like that whole side of my head is bruised.

I also got my job at Kohls back last week and have been training all this week. We have been having issues with out rental property and had to evict the past 2 tenants and fire out property manager, and Will was feeling the stress financially, so I agreed to get a part time job temporarily to build back what we have had to take out of our savings to cover the costs of the rental property. I will probably work there through October or so. Right about when Will deploys again. Hopefully I will be pregnant at that point, too, right?? And I am not working if/when I get pregnant and have the baby.

Anyway, sorry I've been slacking. I've just had alot going on emotionally, etc, that I've been trying to deal with, and my diet has been suffering and I guess I am ashamed to keep coming back day after day and admitting failure. But I love you all and miss you all. I will try to be better...even if just to keep you up on whats going on with the treatments.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Sweet Krysta!

You must know that we don't give a patootie about what you are eating friend, we care about you!! You come and share what you can, and the HECK with the eating plan.

We love you sweetie!

[Low Carb Mommy]

I agree with Jaime....please just check in like you use to and talk to all of us! I miss you so much!!!!

[seb]

It's good to see you posting, Krysta.

I know it's hard to get here and admit that eating hasn't been good, but I've found that with the encouragement of the beautiful ladies here, it makes me want to do better.

I'll be praying about your fertility issues.

Hope that your new job goes well. Maybe you'll get some really cute clothes out of the deal.

[lcq]

Yes Krys...hearing from you is the most important thing right now

[seriouschick]

Hi Krysta ~

I haven't been to your journal for a few months, but I wanted to stop in and say hi. I'm praying you get pregnant soon! I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. Glad to see you're still posting though. Hope you have a good weekend.

[KrystaLyn]

Thanks, Becky, for stopping in, and, of course, Beth, Sue, Lisa, Jaimie and Godsbeloved. I love you ladies

I am miserable right now. I have a cold on top of having started my medication. I am on so many medications right now, its not even funny. I picked up my injectables today. I have one more day of the Clomid (tomorrow) then I start the injections on Monday. If all goes well, This coming weekend will be the weekend to try, IYKWIM.

Anyway, I am so tired and sick, I'm going to go to bed. Just wanted to drop in and give you an update!

[seb]

So sorry about your cold, Krysta. Get some rest and pamper yourself.

[KrystaLyn]

Well, I went to the Dr today for my 12 day scan and I have 4 follicles, 2 on each ovary that are maturing. Not quickly enough, however. Dr said they should be about 15-16 cm right now and they were only 9 & 10 cm. So I am continuing with the shots and will have another ultasound on Sunday to see how they are progressing. Hopefully only 2 come to full maturity...I don't think I could handle quads! Twins, on the other hand, that's what I am shooting for.

Anyway, just thought I would give you an update. I am really bloated from the medication, which doesn't make me very happy or comfortable, and I've been getting hot flashes and not sleeping so well, but other than that, I'm ok so far. Just cross your fingers that I don't hyperstimulate again!! That's what I am really scared about. So far things look normal, but you never know what can happen, you know?

[Livywilltim-mom]

Krysta,

I am still praying for you and Will.

Try not to dwell on the puffiness and bloat...anyway, once you are pregnant, your body will be doing it's own thing anyway!

Hugs

[seb]

Good to hear from you Krysta.

Will be keeping you in my prayers.

[godsbeloved79]

Krysta ,

Hope you get to feeling better soon.

[Low Carb Mommy]

Good to hear from you. All I can say is that all the trouble you are going through to get pregnant will certainly be worth it when you hold your child in your arms. Keep your chin up.... Realize that you won't feel like this forever.... And find something every day to be thankful for in the process. It is truly a process. Everything worth really having always cost us something in life. The price you have to pay to have a child is worth every pain!!

[KrystaLyn]

Thanks Jaimie, Sue, Godsbeloved and Beth. I am going in for my 3rd scan today. I am still on the injections. I had a second ultrasound on Sunday and my follies had grown to between 11-15mm. Hopefully they will be between 14-18 today (they are supposed to grow an average of 2mm per day.) To be considered mature they have to be 18-19+. Dr. thinks I should be able to trigger tomorrow or Thursday. Wish me luck!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Sweet Krysta,

Thanks for posting, I think of you lots.

Things sound good, and Beth is right! Once you are holding your dear, dear baby it will be sooooo amazing!

Prayers and love for you

[Low Carb Mommy]

Go follies go!!!! I can't wait to hear the good news!

[KrystaLyn]

Well, my follies were 18, 17 15 &14mm today. He wants me to do the injections for one more night and go in again in the morning. He wants the other follies to catch up to the big one, I guess so that I have a better chance of at least one of them fertilizing. I am assuming that I will get my trigger shot on Thursday, since I still have to get my estrodial test done before the trigger. My endometrium was really good today, 10mm, up from 8 on Sunday. He said a good endometrium is 9-10mm. I am getting nervous and excited, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much, because there is always the chance this will all be a bust. Anyway, I will let you know how things go tomorrow!

[godsbeloved79]

Stay positive Krysta . I'm in FL praying for you.

[Low Carb Mommy]

Good news!!! Like Lyn said...stay positive!!

I may sound stupid here but....what is a "trigger shot"?

Thanks for updating us all. We love you and wishing you all the best!!!

[PalmTreeGal]

Wow, this fertility stuff is complicated! Crossing my fingers and toes for you, Krysta.

[lcq]

[seb]

I don't understand all of what you're talking about Krysta but I will pray that all goes well for you.

[KrystaLyn]

Well, I'm triggered. I went in this morning to have another ultrasound and my follicles hadn't grown since yesterday, so the Dr, said they are probably about as big as they are going to get. So I have one that is a "for sure" at 18.3mm, and another one that is a possible at about 17.8. THat one could still grow a bit over the next 36 hours before I actually ovulate. The other 2 I don't think are mature enough to release.

So after work I went back and got my trigger shot at 5pm. A trigger shot is basically a shot of HCG, which is the pregnancy hormone. I guess it mimics the lutenizing hormone that your body naturally produces to make the eggs pop out of the follicles. I will ovulate within 24-36 hours after getting the shot, so my Dr is saying I will ovulate on Friday morning. He told me to have sex tonight, tomorrow night and Friday morning. After that, it is just a waiting game. Anyone got any suggestions for me to pass the time??

Anyway, I am going to need all the prayers I can get over the next few days, so please remember me