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Old 02-29-2008, 08:55 PM   #91
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Thanks, you wonderful ladies, for your support, even in my down times.

I wish I could say I did better today, but I didn't. However, I haven't been doing as badly as I have been, either. I've been trying to make better snack choices, etc. until Will leaves and I can focus on myself. I have also been running off and on, so that is good, too.

I am starting a little job tomorrow through Easter, taking the pictures of the kids with the Easter Bunny at the mall. It will be nice to have something to do, and to make a little extra cash. Hopefully it will help me to refocus things, too, not being able to sit at home obsessing.

Other than that, not much going on right now, except that it is late and I need to get to bed! But I needed to make sure I checked in today. I will try to check in tomorrow, but I don't know if I will be able to until Monday. Night, all!

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Old 02-29-2008, 09:07 PM   #92
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Oh yeah, and just because you all know how I love to take pictures, here is my most recent favorite - A female Northern Cardinal that I caught on my back porch:


If you want to see more of my bird photos (granted, not all of them are as good as this one!), check out my blog Here and Here.

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Old 02-29-2008, 09:36 PM   #93
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What a beautiful picture, Krysta.
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:17 AM   #94
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Let me tell you that it is so good to have you back here! I have missed your post and have wondered every day when coming here what you were up to and how you were doing.

I understand completely your struggles with balancing taking care of your family and also taking care of yourself. I discovered a year and a half ago that no one takes better care of you than YOU. The other thing is that unless you take care of yourself you are no good to take care of others. I know it is hard. I know you can feel guilty sometimes. I know that this road is not the easiesy to travel. But trust me that in the end your husband and future children will be thankful that you took care of yourself. You deserve it sweetie....don't let your mind tell you anything different.

In saying all that, I am glad to see that you are working toward getting back to being healthy. You have the power inside of you to do this! All you have to do is decide. You are one of the few people that can go off this plan and get back really disciplined with it at the drop of a hat. I have not been so lucky. It has been so much harder since I allowed myself to cheat.

I know you will miss Will while he is gone but I know this will be a great opportunity for you to get back on track. Start preparing yourself mentally and learning from where you let yourself go astray. What has been your biggest temptation and how will you change what you have been doing off plan?

Looking forward to talking to you some more and catching up.
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Old 03-04-2008, 05:49 AM   #95
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Thanks, Beth. I know where I let myself go astray...from depression. I KNOW I was comforting myself with food and then it just went from comfort into habit. And I think its a combination of both that is really keeping my from starting again full swing. But Will leaves in less than 2 weeks and at that point, I will almost be FORCED into starting again, simply because I won't have anymore excuses, really. I still have a lot of thinking to do, but I am getting there!
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Old 03-04-2008, 06:08 AM   #96
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Good morning Krysta,,.. If I was you, I would just enjoy this time with Will and start when YOU feel better,,
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Old 03-04-2008, 06:16 AM   #97
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Krysta,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Will. Beth is right, when the time is right, your priorities will become clear. I suffered 2 miscarriages, and each time my reaction was different, but tough to overcome. You will feel better, just on your own time.

Hugs friend!
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Old 03-04-2008, 06:23 AM   #98
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Old 03-04-2008, 06:58 AM   #99
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Krysta~don't be too hard on yourself right now. You've had a huge loss in your life. Please just be sure to take care of yourself emotionally.
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Old 03-10-2008, 07:26 AM   #100
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Well, Will is leaving this Saturday. It stinks, because I work every day this week (except Tuesday) and Will works and has a jump in the PM either Wed or Thurs, so we will hardly see each other before he leaves And once he is gone, he can have no contact with me until he gets back. We have never been in a situaton like this before, where we can have no contact, so that is going to be really hard. My job is only a temporary one, and it will be over as of Easter, so after that, I won't even have that to occupy my time. I'm sure I will find stuff to do, but I already know I will be so lonely for Will.

I havent gone grocery shopping for like a month, and Will and I are just eating what we've got, but once he leaves, I Will be able to grocery shop for myself and hopefully I can get myself on track. I really need to do this while Will is gone. It's so much easier when I have only myself to feed. I am going to try and psych myself up this coming week.

I'd better go get ready for work. Its a long day today, over 8 hours. However, I work with this awesome lady from my church (and the Easter Bunny is a lady from my church, too!), so it is fun to have someone to talk to during the slow times.
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Old 03-10-2008, 07:47 AM   #101
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Morning Krysta. How long will Will be gone? That will be so hard to have no contact with him. Hope that you can fit in some time with him this week.
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Old 03-10-2008, 12:55 PM   #102
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Well, Will is leaving this Saturday. It stinks, because I work every day this week (except Tuesday) and Will works and has a jump in the PM either Wed or Thurs, so we will hardly see each other before he leaves

Can't you ask for some time off and maybe make it back up next week.....Hey it can't hurt to ask right
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Old 03-11-2008, 08:23 AM   #103
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Lis, its good to see you again! I can't ask for time off, cause the job is only 3 weeks long! LOL...I'm taking the pics of the Easter Bunny at the mall. Fortunately, Will has 2 1/2 days off now this week, and on both days I only work until 2:30, so we will see each other more than we thought.

Sue, Will will be gone for up to 6 weeks. But at least it gives me some time to refocus on myself, ya know?

Speaking of, I finally ovulated yesterday...on cycle day 40! it took me FOURTY days to ovulate! Sheesh. So at least I can now count down to my next cycle and know when that will be. Unfortunately, I don't want to go into ketosis just in case I did happen to get PG again on this cycle, so I wont be able to start induction for 2 more weeks. However, I can still cut out the sugar and flour and all the bad stuff that I shouldnt be eating anyway. So I think I can limit myself to 50-60 carbs, because that should be about the lowest I can go without actually getting into ketosis. And I will probably start that this Sunday. I wish I had my Atkins for Life book, cause it had menus for 45 carbs/day that I could look at and get an idea for how much I could eat, but I left it at my moms house in Denver. Oh well.

Well, Will and I are going to lunch today before he has to go back into work, so Id better get ready. Talk to you all later!
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Old 03-11-2008, 11:07 AM   #104
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I hurt so much for you Krysta (about Will leaving). The most I have been away from Mark w/o talking was 3 weeks. You are a strong woman and you will make it! Keep busy! One thing I did while DH was gone was I kept a journal of things I would talk to him about if I was talking to him on the phone. He loved reading it when he got back. It brought us closer together.

On the other hand, I am so excited for you that you finally ovulated. You system will be back to normal in no time. It just takes a little time for the body to get ready again. Soon when you find yourself holding that little one all these trials you had to go through to get him/her will fade away and be so worth it!

I think it is wise of you to take the mindset right now to getting back healthy...eating right and exercising. Those things will prepare your body for conceiving. You can do it. Keep your goal in mind. Post cards all over the house if you have to to remind you of why you are choosing this lifestyle! And definitely keep coming back here. We all miss you so much when you are gone!!!
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Old 03-11-2008, 11:28 AM   #105
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I know I am trying not to be gone. I need to be here.

I'll be honest, of course, I would love to get PG on this cycle, but I'm not expecting to, not after taking 40 days to ovulate! But just to be on the safe side, I'm not going to do induction. However, if I am NOT PG, then in two weeks, hopfully my cravings will have subsided enough by being on 50+ carbs that I can go onto Induction fairly easily. I should know by Easter if I am PG or not (or within the 3 days after Easter), so I am planning on starting Induction the Wednesday following Easter, because that would be my first "late" day, so obviously I will know for SURE that day, if not before. I kindof hate having to wait, but with having had the m/c, if I AM pg, I don't want to take any chances.

Anyway, so the next few days, I think I will try to come up with a 50-ish carb basic menu that I can do the next 2 weeks. Any suggestions would be awesome!
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Old 03-11-2008, 12:01 PM   #106
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Sounds like you have a good plan for your carbs.

I think Beth's idea of keeping a journal is great! I did that when I went on an overseas trip a few years ago. There was so much I wanted to share with the family that I kept a journal for them. It was a great reminder of all the things I had done. Will would love it.
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Old 03-12-2008, 01:07 AM   #107
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Hi Krysta! The counts you are looking at are VERY similar to my Gestational Diabetes diet that I had to be on for all of my pregnancies (roughly 60 gms carb/day). I had to keep a journal of my foods, and could dig it up if you needed me to. (I actually saw a dietician for the plan.)

It was quite similar to what we have now, with a few additions. Maybe a piece of whole grain bread with 1 T of peanut butter, oatmeal, more dairy (milk or yogurt), 1/2 an apple, 1/2 of a small banana, a dish of low glycemic fruit before bed, some whole grain pretzel sticks, avocados and almonds. Oh! Graham crackers were allowed, and were such a treat! (With no HFCS, of course!)

My heart goes out to you! Please let me know if I can help!
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Old 03-18-2008, 07:55 AM   #108
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Thats good info, Deb. Thanks for sharing that!

As for me, I finally got things in gear yesterday...I think. LOL. I went grocery shopping in the morning and bought all good stuff for the diet. But I had to work all night last night and didn't have time to get anything together from home (besides the fact that there is no fridge at work, so I can't take anything that needs to be refrigerated anyway), so I had to kindof make due with what was available at the mall. I don't even know how much I ate, but I will add it up here.

L-green shake made with:
1/2 c. plain yogurt - 2
about 1/3 c. frozen berries - 7
handful spinach - 1

S - 2 cheese sticks - 1.5
1/4 c. macadamias - 2
protein water - 1

D - Mini sub from Subway w:
turkey, pepperjack, lettuce, tomato, banana peppers, cucumber, pickles, mayo and mustard on whole wheat - 27-ish

S- SF applesauce cup - 11
handful peanuts - 5

Total = 60 (rounded up)

So, not too bad. I was going to have a salad from Chick-fil-a for dinner (about 12-15 carbs) but I realized I needed to really up my carbs while I was at work (I was feeling sick and light headed) so I got a mini sub from Subway instead. I was still hungry when I got home, but it was enough to tide me over at work. And, by the looks of it, put me right about where I wanted to be, carb-wise. I had absolutely NO SUGAR yesterday, which is the best thing.

I only have to eat at these higher levels until next Tuesday, at the latest (because I am almost 100% positive that I didn't get pregnant from this cycle, since it was so late), and then I can scale back a bit. I think I will dip low enough to get into ketosis, and then as soon as I am in Ketosis, I will go up to 30 carbs, OWL style. I feel the best at that level and seem to lose fine. But we will see. I've got a week to think about it. In the meantime, I have to say, it is really strange knowing that I am on "plan" and counting up such high numbers of carbs! I've already eaten 21 for breakfast today and still have about 30-40 to go! So wierd.

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Old 03-18-2008, 08:12 AM   #109
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Great to see you lady! Having to count high carbs has got to really play with your mind. Your menu looked so great and healthy! I think it is great practice for when you do get pregnant! You will probably still see a loss by just getting back to eating no sugar.

Take care of yourself! Don't be a stranger! I miss you on here!!!!!
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Old 03-18-2008, 10:42 AM   #110
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I only have to eat at these higher levels until next Tuesday, at the latest (because I am almost 100% positive that I didn't get pregnant from this cycle, since it was so late), and then I can scale back a bit.
Ummm...I may have to take this comment back. I just went to the bathroom and got a little bit of spotting, which could be Implantation spotting. I had Implantation spotting last time on 9DPO. Today I am 8DPO (Days Past Ovulation). I don't want to get my hopes up, but OMGosh, I am nervous now! I will keep you posted...

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Old 03-18-2008, 12:56 PM   #111
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You've gotten my attention friend!! Praying for ya!

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Old 03-18-2008, 01:26 PM   #112
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Hi Krystal,

I'm over here in FL ing for good news .
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Old 03-18-2008, 03:01 PM   #113
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Thanks Godsbeloved! Good to see you again!

Jaimie! Thanks for the prayers I love my avi, too. Its my favorite tulip in my garden so far...I think it looks like a star!
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Old 03-18-2008, 05:28 PM   #114
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Take it easy Krysta just in case. Praying for you!
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Old 03-19-2008, 04:03 AM   #115
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Old 03-19-2008, 05:07 AM   #116
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Blessed Wednesday!
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Old 03-19-2008, 01:46 PM   #117
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You are in my prayers!

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Old 03-19-2008, 03:20 PM   #118
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Krysta~I've never seen a tulip like in your avi. Very pretty pic.

Let us know what's going on with the spotting.
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Old 03-22-2008, 03:50 PM   #119
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Happy Easter!

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Old 03-22-2008, 06:03 PM   #120
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