IT'S THE JOURNEY THAT MATTERS NOT THE DESTINATION

[NewYorkGiants32]

About me...I am a happily married stay at home mom of four children...two girls...two boys. I have had issues w/ food my entire life, including an eating disorder for about 15 yrs. I am sick of it. I do not want to look back on my life and see that it was controlled by food, or a stupid number on the scale. I know I am not healthy right now, I do not feel good about myself, it is now or never.

I love Atkins and know I loose a good amount of weight on it....it just seems that everytime I loose the weight, then I end up pregnant again. Not this time!! My tubes are tied, I quit smoking after 17 yrs.......baby steps. Now I am ready do get my body in shape. I will weigh in every monday, although I already know I am around 180-185 (I cheated big time this weekend)

Short term goal weight-168
Long term goal weight-140

Wish me luck!!

[NewYorkGiants32]

So today was not the best day for me to weigh myself or do low carb. All four of my kids are sick...throwing up sick! Not fun!! I am the type of person when I am stressed I over eat, and to put it mildly, today was nothing but stress....so I have a new game plan, tommorrow is a new day.

My goal for tuesday
1. Stay on track w/ diet
2. Get some kind of excersise in...even if it is only 5 min here 10 min there.
3. Stick w/ my "Things to do list"

Current weight as of this morning
182

[NewYorkGiants32]

This has not been a good week. Yesterday (tuesday) the whole house was sick, very sick! I ate nothing but maybe a few sips of diet 7up. Today I felt better, had some steak and wheat crackers w/ peanut butter. At this point, I really do not think I am going reach my Thanksgiving goal, BUT atleast I am "staying healthy" and not doing anything dumb. I have busy day tommorrow, but I will be back on track w/ counting carbs and staying low carb....we will see.

[Debralynn]

Good luck Jen!

You sound like me, my weight would go down, and BAM! Pregnant!

I, too, am done having kids, and ready to get fit for good!

I know that once you are all feeling better, those pounds are going to fall off!

GO GIANTS!

[seb]

Jennifer! You started a journal! Great!

I'm so sorry about your sick kids. Oh, I remember those days. How old are the kiddos?

I can also relate to losing weight then getting pregnant again. I could never get below 170 before I got pregnant again. I'm still struggling with getting below 170 and my baby is 12. I am a stress eater also, so I can totally relate.

Hope that this is a better week and that you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Weigh-in day today.

[NewYorkGiants32]

I am so happy (and surprised) you guys responded. I have was absent from the computer over Thanksgiving break....and I am not even going to talk about my weight! Today is monday and I am back on track. I did not weigh in this am because I do not feel like being depressed the entire day...so next week. Okay, I am off to visit your journals!!

[Debralynn]

Hi Jennifer! Here's to a fresh start! Hold off on that weigh in as long as you can - it will pay off!

[seb]

Don't worry about it Jennifer. Get back on plan and those extra pounds will come off right away.

[NewYorkGiants32]

Well I made the mistake of getting on the scale....it is like some sick addiction! Lets just say I am right back where I statred (at the start of this journal) Here are a couple of key points that are hopefully in my favor.

1. We has two Thanksgiving dinners, one thurs and one sat..I allowed myself to "cheat" both days, nothing crazy, but I wanted to enjoy it.

2. I have been drinking lots and lots of water, water is never an issue w/ me, I think I am pretty good w/ that.

3. It is time of the month, soooooo hopefully that acounts for not losing any weight!!

The thing about me is I am one of the lucky people, I KNOW I can lose weight when doing Atkins, it is never a problem AND I loose it fairly fast. My issues are w/ the food......sooo hard to always say NO. (Just for the record I too think food is an addiction)

Right now I am going back and forth on wanting to weight daily or once a week if that. ANy suggestions??

Daily may help keep me more acountable AND it may be easier for me to see what puts the pounds on and off, but weekly or bi weekly wont depress me so much?

Oh well, time to cook diner (husband works over night so I cook early)

[NewYorkGiants32]

Wed. Night- Not much to report today.....I watched Oprah, anyone see it?? Very good success diet stories. Thhese people weight like 300-700 pounds and lost so much weight on their own, no surgery or diet pills. Soooooo, if they can do it there really is no reason why I can not. I am not THAT old (yet) and I do not think I have THAT much to loose, maybe between 30-50. Oh well.......for now, my short term goal is to get in the 169 range, I will post menu tommorrow, but probably not weight.

[seb]

I am of two minds of weighing daily. I do think it helps to keep us accountable, but it can also get discouraging. Although I say I won't weigh every day, I still usually do. I also had some extra things on Thanksgiving, but I just didn't worry about it. This is a lifetime way of eating, which means that there will be times when we don't eat perfectly. But, that's o.k. It is especially hard this time of year, and I figure if I can maintain during the holidays, I'm doing great.

[Debralynn]

Originally Posted by seb

I am of two minds of weighing daily. I do think it helps to keep us accountable, but it can also get discouraging. Although I say I won't weigh every day, I still usually do. I also had some extra things on Thanksgiving, but I just didn't worry about it. This is a lifetime way of eating, which means that there will be times when we don't eat perfectly. But, that's o.k. It is especially hard this time of year, and I figure if I can maintain during the holidays, I'm doing great.

Yeah! What she said!

If we can do really well the next 3 weeks, then we won't feel so bad about some extra treats on Christmas!

[NewYorkGiants32]

That is my game plan (hopefully) I want to do good theese next three weeks so I can have treats on Christmas! I think for me, I just have to take the stupid scale day by day....If I "feel" like I lost some weight then I will probably jump on. We will see. I heard somewhere that it take two weeks to change a behaviour...I try to keep that in mind when I want to go off the diet (I should not even call it a diet)

I did pretty good today w/ eating and carbs........LOTS better than the previous days. The other thing about me, I do not really have a breakfast, lunch, or dinner time. With all the kids, husband working nights, I just eat whenever.......thats probably part of the problem, I need to be more organized.

Morning- Low carb coffe w/ splenda 5 carbs and s/f creamer 3 carbs whip cream 2 carbs

Late morning- 3 sausage links - 2 carbs
3 eggs - 3 carbs

2 sticks of s/f gum - 4 total carbs

Dinner - Three hamburger patties w/ cheese mayo & mustard - 3 carbs (please note, did not eat all three in one sitting, ate over the course of the night)

Whip cream - one small bite - 1 carb

23 total carbs ~ A little high for me, I am suppose to be on induction, I probably should have went w/ out the gum.

Any thoughts and/or suggestions??

[Livywilltim-mom]

Hi Jennifer!

I noticed that you visit alot of my friends here in their journals, so I wanted to stop by and say hello!

You can do this...you know how, and seem to really understand your triggers, so I KNOW you can succeed.

Nice to meet you!

[NewYorkGiants32]

Jaime~~ Thank You for coming to my journal. When I first started this I really did not think anyone would read it, I am pleasantly surprised!

You are right, I do know my triggers soooo well.......There really should be no excuse. I am going to go take a look at your journal.......

[NewYorkGiants32]

Monday Night.......It is so much easier for me to read other journals then keep up w/ my own...Hmph!! I will do better tommorrow w/ my menu, maybe someone will be able to tell me what I should improve on.

Any of you remember Rikki Lake?? I saw an interview w/ her this weekend....she is a size 2 now!! AND she did not have to have any kind of surgery before or after her weight loss........thats good insperation for me!!

[seb]

I remember Rikki Lake. Wouldn't it be nice to be a size 2? I'd actually be really happy to be a size 10.

I looked at your menu. It looks good, but the only thing I could think of is to eat a good breakfast. Do you usually just have coffee? When I have a good breakfast with lots of fat, I do better the rest of the day.

Thanks for your support in my journal.

[NewYorkGiants32]

I have read so many people say the same thing....eat a large breakfast. It is hard because I am not a morning person, kids and school...my two yr old has early morning therapy...I suppose I should make the time!!


Wed. morning---Goal for today is to stay on plan, lots of water, right around 20 carbs, and some SMALL form of excercise (must start somewhere)

[Livywilltim-mom]

Hi Jennifer!

Stopping in to give you encouragement and support.

I think your Wednesday goals are great. Very smart ideas

You can do it!

Peace

[NewYorkGiants32]

Jaime~~Thank you so much for the support.....you do not know how much I need it!!


I had a "lightbulb" moment today (Yes, I watch too much Oprah) I think a big part of my struggles w/ weight and food have a lot to do w/ the fact that have falling back on church, bible, and devotions. If I am not where I should be w/ God, then how can I expect my life to be where it should be? Even beyond my weight, just every day life w/ kids, school, errands, chores, husband, nothing is really in order. I am happy being a mom and wife, but I just think there may be an easier way for me to get through this. I grew up in church, my Dad has ALWAYS been a sunday school teacher, my husband grew up in church too, we know better so what is stopping us and how do we fix it? Right by my computer I have two bibles, I need to do something, because right now I am just not happy w/ my weight, and I cannot seem to get control on it. This is the biggest I have been (when not pregnant) everyone says "Give it time you just had a baby" Yeah....10 MONTHS AGO!! I am 5'7 and weigh 185 (UGH) before I was pregnant this last time I weighed 163, then when I was pregnant w/ my two yr old I was about 150....and four years ago I was 130. Going from 130 - 185 is huge and GROSS!!

Thursdays Goals ~~ STAY ON PLAN, 20 CARBS, SOME SMALL FORM OF EXCERCISE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY PRAY FOR THE STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE THAT I NEED.

[NewYorkGiants32]

Early friday morning (1:45 am)

I think I did really good for thursday. No slip ups, I did not excersise....unless you count chasing the monsters around, BUT I did find an online devotional that I think will help me.

Thursday

Lots of coffee (maybe 4 cups throughout the day) used splenda and s/f creamer

Two hamburger patties w/ cheese mayo and mustard (cheese 4 carbs??)

And thats it, I could have done a lot better w/ my water, BUT I am just happy I stayed on plan, no cheats.

As for friday.....heres the thing, my husband works nights, he is off friday and sat nights. Those two nights we usually have a cocktail or two together. It is just our way of unwinding from the week......I know I should not be having that, especially if I am trying to do induction, BUT I have to allow some kind of leadway or else I will resort to losing weight not the most healthy of ways. With that in mind......I willatleast make sure my food carbs are under control.

Thursdays Weight-185

[Debralynn]

Hey there pretty girl! I see you lost a pound! Congrats!

I know how tough it is, and can really relate to what you are going through right now. I really do feel like life is spinning out of control and getting away from me too, lately. The house is a mess, the laundry and dishes are piled up, the kids constantly need something, Christmas it approaching.... the list never ends!

Make sure you make a little time for yourself (Ha, I know how hard it is!), and prioritize. Some things really can wait, in order to save your peace of mind. Put something off so that you can take a few minutes after the kids are in bed to read your bible, or take an "hour shower". You are a priority. You have control. You can do this!

Be well, friend!

[NewYorkGiants32]

Plain and simple I just need to do a better job of keeping track of my food, water and carbs...When I kournal it, it makes more sense......goal for Wed....WRITE EVERYTHING down!!

Deb~~ That is SOOO how it is over here too. I can NEVER get caught up on cleaning, and with 4 kids, everything gets dirty so quickly!! Ever since I had the baby (feb) we have had endless laundry. Sometimes I feel so out of control, THATS when I eat. Glad to here I am not the only one going through it! Thanks for understanding.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Hi Jennifer,

I can so relate to all you are going through. This time of year is such a beautiful, meaningful time...but I find if I don't force myself to leave some things undone, I don't get to enjoy any of it. 2 years ago, I had such stress over "getting it all done" that I caused a nerve issue in my neck and I couldn't even turn my head on Christmas day! I promised myself I would NEVER do that to myself again! The dishes are piled, the clothes are piled, but I am doing my best to stay calm and peaceable. It is HARD!

Hope your newly found devotional helps friend!

Peace

[Debralynn]

Hope you are having a wonderful and peaceful weekend!

[NewYorkGiants32]

Deb~ I was having a great weekend till I watched the Giants game! Why is they always seem to play better on the road?




Anyhow......I am doing some changes regarding diet and excersise...will post Monday afternoon (kids nap time!)

[seb]

Good morning Jennifer.

I love your new picture. You are such a beautiful lady.

Oh how I remember those days when the kids were young. So much to do, so little time and so little energy. My thoughts and prayers are with you. But, ya know, when the kids get older (mine are 18, 15 and 12) you miss those days when the kids sat on your lap and gave you lots of love. I get a few quick kisses every day, but I sure miss the old days.