Dharma's Way

[Dharma]

Thank you Sue!

My DD23 graduated from college a year and a half ago. My DS29 has been living in Japan for 4 years. My daughter didn't know what she wanted to do, wasn't quite ready for grad school, and my son mentioned she could come live in Japan for awhile. So she did. She will be back in April. Funny thing happened though, they have been fighting ever since she got there!! Just did not get along very well. She lived with DS for 4 months until she got a job and an apartment. That didn't help. DS got married in July in Spain. It was a fairy tale wedding. He met his wife in Japan. She's been there 6 years and is from Spain. They will probably move to somewhere else in Europe in a couple of years. Not sure where yet. My new DIL doesn't want to live in the US. It probably would be hard for her to get a visa. On the up side, we will probably be traveling to Japan (they are trying to get pregnant ) next year, and then wherever they move we'll travel there. (If we don't go broke first!!).

I have one child still at home - DS15. There's no telling where he'll end up!!

[Dharma]

Good food day yesterday. I had almost 1100 calories, cause I had few pecans last night. I was able to stop at around 10 halves, so that's good. I didn't weigh this morning....I probably will weigh every day for awhile though instead of once a week. It seems to help when I'm in serious weight loss mode.

I've looked at people's menus who are at goal, who are small, size 4's and 6's, and their calories really are pretty low. I'm sure mine will average 1200 a day over a week's time, with the extra snacks I'll have on weekends.

I had my pumpkin-yogurt concoction for breakfast this morning. The Fage usually fills me up but my tummy's rumbly now. I only had 1/4 cup of the yogurt though, plus 1 TB cream cheese and 1 TB pumpkin and whey protein. It was only around 200 calories. That's really not gonna keep me full as long. But I'll make it!!

[seb]

Hope you have a grandchild on the way soon.

Love Fage yogurt, but can't find it in our rural area.

Have a great weekend.

[Dharma]

Oh yea, forgot to say that my DS was a Marine, and lived in Japan a year while serving his four years. When he was out of the military, he went to work using his training as computers, and works for a company that contracts with the DOD to provide network services. First in New Orleans, then decided to transfer to Japan since he'd already lived there. He lived on base at Iwakuni as a civilian contractor, then moved to Hiroshima to live with his fiance.

I was down another pound this morning, which isn't saying much since I'm still at 154. I had a pizza omelette for dinner last night!! I used the toppings off one piece of pizza that DH and DS were eating and sprinkled a little Italian cheese on it. It was really good. I had trouble not thinking about food all night last night. I never caved, thank goodness, but I thought about the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in the cookie jar all night. I made them on Tuesday. I'm so glad I didn't eat one!! I did eat more pecans though. Not too many, only an oz, but that was extra calories.

Today is LSU vs Alabama. Big game in my house, as I'm LSU and DH is Alabama. Whoever wins is the SEC West champion and plays for the SEC championship. Even though LSU is #3, Alabama (#22) could still win, no doubt about it. It should be a good game. I will try not to get too emotionally involved this time!! Football is ONLY a game, after all.

I love Saturday mornings. They are my time to be at home, usually on the computer, while DH is gone to a meeting and DS is asleep. I have my fireplace on the the cat is curled up on the couch with me. It's nice.

[Dharma]

I put a few pics up in the Gallery finally. All from our trip to Barcelona. I look 10 or 20 lbs too heavy to me. I was 150 while there.

[seb]

I looked at your pics and you have a beautiful family. I think you look wonderful also.

Hope your team won on Saturday. I'm not a football fan, just for our high school football team.

[Dharma]

Thank you Sue.

LSU beat Alabama - AGAIN in the last few minutes of the game!! They are killin' me. They moved up to #2.

I had a slip up over the weekend on Saturday night. I ate 2 cookies and 3 mini almond joys. So, I didn't even bother to weigh this weekend. I just went on and got back to my usual on Sunday. TOM also came Sunday, which probably explains the slip.

Kohl's had a sale Saturday, and I got 2 pair of cord jeans and 2 shirts for $50.00!! That was exciting. The cords are REALLY comfortable....I LOVE them. I like them better than my Land's End cords and they were $30.00 cheaper. Wish I'd checked Kohl's before ordering the Land's End ones. They are size 8's too, just a little better fitting.

I finally decided to cut way back on my wine consumption. It's no fun to be the only one drinking and I don't know why I was doing it. My back and neck have been very stiff and sore, and I was thinking the wine would help me relax, but all it does is make my stomach burn. From now on I'm only having it when there's someone else having some too, in a fun social situation. Not to try to dull pain or boredom. That's a bad habit. And for sure it was slowing my weight loss (well, it's not actually 'weight loss' yet...).

Since TOM came I'm in a much better mood, not taking myself so seriously about my weight. I'm eating healthy and I'm not gaining, so today I'm grateful about that!!

[sjl330]

That's a good way to look at it Lisa. I too have caught myself having a drink to 'medicate' sometimes and you're right, that's not a good idea and it really does mess up the weight loss. I hope TOM doesn't do too much damage. He doesn't visit me anymore and I have to say I sure don't miss him. Lately I've been trying to build a better relationship with my friend Will Power. I really need to learn to like him more, lol.

[Dharma]

Sandy do you like to read health/diet related books? "Good Calories, Bad Calories" talks about will power. It's quite enlightening!! I think will power only works for me when I don't indulge in carbs....then I make good choices almost effortlessly.

I'm gonna quote my remarks and the reply I received in Eades' blog on the Kimkins and hair loss article he wrote:

This happened to me. I was on a 900 calorie a day diet, low carb, for 4 months. I lost 20 lbs, down to 136 lbs. About 1/3 of the hair on my head fell out! Good thing I have a lot….It didn’t actually bother me that much cause it took less time to blow dry. That was a year ago. It’s now grown back about 4 inches. My hair is several inches below shoulder length, so I’m guessing it’ll be even in another two years.

Thanks for the explanation. My only problem now is, I am NOT losing weight on a low carb, reasonable intake diet (1500 average calories). (I gained all the weight back that I lost last year). I am tempted to go low cal again for shorter periods to lose these last 15 lbs, but after the hair loss, hormonal disturbances, anxiety, and depression I experienced I’m scared. Is there any hope for me?? I’m turning 50 soon, I’m 5′6 1/2″, and weigh 154.

Hi Lisa–

Hang in there with your low-carb diet. Sooner or later you will start seeing weight loss on the scales. What typically happens to people who go on very-low-calorie diets such as the one you described is that they lose a lot of muscle mass. When they regain their weight, they don’t regain the muscle, they regain fat. So they are fatter than they were when they started and with less underlying muscle. When these folks go back on a low-carb diet loaded with good quality protein they start to rebuild their lost muscle mass for a while. They are losing fat, but gaining muscle. If they lose 2 or 3 pounds of fat in a week, but gain 2 or 3 pounds of lean body mass at the same time, the scale shows no change. But since a pound of muscle occupies much less space than a pound of fat, even though the weight hasn’t changed, the size usually has.

Hope this helps.

Cheers–

MRE

Yep Mike this helps!! I was not weight training during the time I was on the low cal diet, because I was still recovering from my skiing accident, so it makes sense that I would have lost muscle mass. Even if I had been working out I probably would've lost some muscle mass.

I already decided not to get discouraged....I know how I need to eat, and whether I'm losing weight or not is not gonna change that. I get sick and fat when I eat carbs, so, I'm not gonna eat carbs!! That's really all there is to it. I have been eating too many carbs these last few days and so I really have nothing to complain about. It's really up to me to stay the course I know is best. If I had stayed the course through my 20s, 30s, and 40s I wouldn't even be in this position!!! But NOW is all that matters. TODAY I'm healthy and I have the power (knowledge) to stay that way!!!

[sjl330]

That's cool Lisa! And makes perfect sense too. We do have to look at our WOE as a choice to eat healthier and not worry about the weight so much. Of course, that's so hard to do when we DO want to lose also. But like Dr. Eades said, I think eventually will come off.

And about will power. Yes, I'm much more in control of my eating when I'm eating low carb. And really when I'm eating right I don't even have to have will power or not much of it anyway.

I went to lunch with friends today and didn't even finish my salad!! I was even shocked.

[Mallory]

Just wondering..you metioned awhile back in one of my threads that your were going to your group dinner and they were vegetarian now..what did they end up serving? and how did you cope?

[Dharma]

Hey Mallory....well it's this coming Saturday night actually! I decided to make an apple pie, AND low carb gingerbread for myself. DH and I already decided we're gonna eat steak before we go... They are serving Ragout....over grits/polenta. I'll be able to eat salad and pick a little on the Ragout. Hopefully no one will notice that much!!

Thanks for asking....I'll post next week after it's all over.

[seb]

Good response from Eades. I know that my loss is slow because I have lost muscle mass over the years. And, now that I want to exercise, I have hurt my foot and have to wear an orthopedic boot.

You have a good attitude, Dharma. Just keep plugging away at it!

[Mallory]

Originally Posted by Dharma

Hey Mallory....well it's this coming Saturday night actually! I decided to make an apple pie, AND low carb gingerbread for myself. DH and I already decided we're gonna eat steak before we go... They are serving Ragout....over grits/polenta. I'll be able to eat salad and pick a little on the Ragout. Hopefully no one will notice that much!!

Thanks for asking....I'll post next week after it's all over.

Oh please do..Im always anxious to hear how others handle situations like this and hopefully Ill learn something from it. It sounds like you have things under control and thats great! Its all about planning..

[Dharma]

I am really starting to feel better, even though the scale is still up. The tightness in my back is easing up, I'm not grinding my teeth nearly as much, and my digestive system has calmed down. I may never know why because there could be any number of reasons: TOM hormone fluctuations, re-starting my algae supplements, upping 5-HTP supplements, re-starting cod liver oil. I hope it's one of those things cause then I can continue to feel better and less anxious just by doing what I'm doing now.

I was NOT hungry this morning and just skipped breakfast. I hope it doesn't backfire on me. I have a lot going today so maybe I'll be too busy to be hungry. I'm taking DS to the dermatologist today, then I have a massage scheduled. Plus, I have work to do AT WORK today, so I am out for now!!!

[Dharma]

I was so not hungry yesterday. It felt strange. I managed to eat 990 calories though. I like the feeling of not being very hungry. It's probably because I'm almost thru TOM, and my body is settling down some hormonally.

I'm just not sure I'm eating the right macros though. It seems if I was, I would be losing. My carbs are low, but maybe not consistently enough. For some reason my body is hanging on desparately to bodyfat. I know I'm building muscle back, but I don't think I'm building THAT much muscle!

I so mourn those days of youth when I could lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks and feel GREAT doing it. I was way out of shape back then, but I could still get thin in a hurry. I know I've abused my body over the years trying every diet, not exercising, then gaining too much weight in my third pregnancy. It's like I'm not allowed to lose the extra weight I gained that third time. My punishment for all the donuts I ate while pregnant!! I didn't know then what I know now. I wish I could do it over again. I try to make up for it by pushing good stuff on my DS, and his diet is probably better than many teenagers. I convinced him to start taking cod liver oil too - major victory!! All I had to do was tell him it would help his acne.....that was enough motivation. I took him to the dermatologist yesterday. She put him on a different antibiotic, which I really don't want him to take but he's so desparate!! And, he's using Retin-A now. $128.00 a tube!!! That's some expensive stuff.....it better work! I may have to sneak some myself.

My massage last night was really good. I think my back has finally loosened up and I've quit grinding my teeth. Then, driving home I hit rush hour traffic....such a bummer after a relaxing massage. I'm gonna start going once a month from now on. Something nice to do for myself, for a change! I'm about to be 50, so I deserve it.

I am so hoping that this drop in appetite means my body is deciding it can let go of some of this fat!!

************************************************** ********
I'm reading The Brain Trust Program. It really confirms a lot as far as eating that I already knew. His discussion of hot flashes was fascinating. He says the drop in estrogen at menopause cuts off the supply of glucose to the brain (and the brain is a sugar hog). Estrogen is used as a "shuttle" to get the sugar to the brain. So, when it drops, the brain tries to get the energy it needs by producing epinephrine (I think), which heats everything up. I don't have hot flashes right now, but I have had a few in the past, so this is great information!! The solution is ***drumroll*** KETONES!. The brain loves ketones even better than glucose, and doesn't need the "shuttle" of estrogen to use them for energy. So, a ketogenic diet theoretically will cure hot flashes. He recommends a "cocktail" different oils.....MCTs (coconut oil), Flax oil, and ALA??? Can't remember for sure. But, the same oils we know are the healthy ones. I wonder how much longer before I start menopause?? I'm kinda ready to get it over with, but then again.....maybe not!!

[Dharma]

Quote from myself on someone's WLJ:

I realized just this morning that my sole purpose in life these days is to FEEL GOOD, without doing anything illegal, immoral, or that will kill me!! Seriously, I am obsessed with how I "feel" most of the time. I think that's why food works so well.....it's readily available, it 'soothes' me (in the moment), and it DOES affect brain chemicals for sure.

Not really sure how I "feel" about this!! Am I always gonna be searching for something I'll never have?? I always find something small to complain about. Complaining is my hobby....I'm from the South, after all.

I have retrained myself in these last few years to keep my thoughts on gratitude for my life, for what I HAVE and not what I think I need. Yet I still wanna find the 'holy grail' of health and well-being. I believe that I can reach a state of well-being where I am truly euphoric. I'm not truly satisfied with anything less. This perfectionism is keeping me from true gratitude for how healthy I actually am!! My new hobby will be to express my gratitude for the strong muscles, energy, and well-being that I have NOW. And the more I stick to this great WOE, the better that will be!!

Weighed 154 this morning. I feel fine!!

[Dharma]

Scale weight this morning: 156. Up, down, up down. I'm maintaining. Which means I need to change something. Just not sure what at this point other than lowering calories.

On a brighter note, our dinner with our "vegetarian" friends went fine. I had salad and Ragout, skipped the polenta and bread, and had my low carb gingerbread. And come to find out, only one member is actually still truly vegetarian. Turns out the others are just limiting meat to a couple of times a week and eating lowfat cause they believe it's healthier. We had an extra couple there and ended up enjoying them being there too.

I think the frustrating aspect of all this is, only ONE of our dinner club friends is overweight. My vegetarian friend ate a really huge plate of polenta and ragout, and she's tiny. The new guy in the group went on and on about how he's just lost 30 lbs on SouthBeach. The overweight member said she's finally losing after starting the low fat diet. I know better than to think low fat is healthy, but I'm wondering if I'm eating TOO MUCH fat right now, since I'm trying to lose weight?? I also know my labs are always good, but still wonder if I'm healthy if I'm still overweight?? I'm on the borderline right now as far as BMI, between normal and overweight. So even though calories in, calories out doesn't always EXPLAIN a person's weight, I am obviously OVEREATING or I'd be losing weight. Pretty simple. I know this cause my carbs are low and I should be losing based on carb intake, but I'm not. So there's no other explanation.

I was pretty hungry yesterday too, and just so tired all day. I ate a LOT, I'm sure way over what I needed, since I laid around all day. Today I'm back to feeling 'normal', whatever that is. I'm not hungry really. I AM having these mittelschmerz pains right now, which may be why I felt so tired yesterday. Hormones. Gotta love 'em.

************************************************** ********
Tigers are NUMBER ONE again!!! Gotta love that too!!

[Mallory]

[quote=Dharma;9492360]
On a brighter note, our dinner with our "vegetarian" friends went fine. I had salad and Ragout, skipped the polenta and bread, and had my low carb gingerbread. And come to find out, only one member is actually still truly vegetarian. Turns out the others are just limiting meat to a couple of times a week and eating lowfat cause they believe it's healthier. We had an extra couple there and ended up enjoying them being there too.

I think the frustrating aspect of all this is, only ONE of our dinner club friends is overweight. My vegetarian friend ate a really huge plate of polenta and ragout, and she's tiny. The new guy in the group went on and on about how he's just lost 30 lbs on SouthBeach. The overweight member said she's finally losing after starting the low fat diet. I know better than to think low fat is healthy, but I'm wondering if I'm eating TOO MUCH fat right now, since I'm trying to lose weight?? I also know my labs are always good, but still wonder if I'm healthy if I'm still overweight?? I'm on the borderline right now as far as BMI, between normal and overweight. So even though calories in, calories out doesn't always EXPLAIN a person's weight, I am obviously OVEREATING or I'd be losing weight. Pretty simple. I know this cause my carbs are low and I should be losing based on carb intake, but I'm not. So there's no other explanation.


************************************************** ********
QUOTE]

Well first off I think you did great! As for your musings, I think that stuff all the time (about the cals and if my carbs are low enough then I SHOULD be losing??) Havent found any great answer for that yet but just wanted to let you know Im with you on this! Very frustrating if you ask me.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by Mallory

Well first off I think you did great! As for your musings, I think that stuff all the time (about the cals and if my carbs are low enough then I SHOULD be losing??) Havent found any great answer for that yet but just wanted to let you know Im with you on this! Very frustrating if you ask me.

Thanks Mallory....I had a really great time even after all the whining beforehand!! It's just me regressing to the "it's not fair" way of thinking. Which is completely irrelevant, because things "are what they are". I forgot to mention that I also ate 5 oz. of steak before we went.

[Dharma]

Weight this morning: 154.5.

I have 11 days to lose 5 lbs, to be under 150 by the time I'm 50. I'm not gonna do anything stupid, but I AM gonna be pretty careful. I'm probably gonna stay away from dairy for the time being. I'm sure it won't hurt, but I'll really miss my cheese!!

I have noticed a really emotional streak in myself lately. I want more attention from DH, and I'm tearing up more easily. Not sure if it's hormones, or my looming AARP membership (I actually sent off for a 1 yr subscription this morning -- ). I didn't WANT to, but I do want the discounts.

I'm excited about Thanksgiving this year. I am cooking my family's favorites, only low carb versions. It'll just be the three of us. DS15 asked for us to have a traditional meal this year. I was pleasantly shocked at his request. And happy that he still enjoys the family time with us. We had to decline a friend's offer to have it at his house though, which was sad. He is a single father and I know he was counting on us being there. I'm looking forward to being at home though. I like being at home a lot. Most of our friends are ALWAYS doing stuff.....I prefer being with my guys in front of a warm fire. No more skiing on Thanksgiving for us....it just wasn't the same when we did that!!

[seb]

Much luck with your goal to get below 150 by your 50th birthday.

Do you think that the approaching B-I-G 5-0 might be the cause of your emotional streak? I went through something like that when I hit 40.

I have gone through a very emotional time since the middle of August. Some days I felt like I was falling apart. I know a lot of it is hormonal, my DD leaving for college, other changes and stresses in my life that were causing it. But, it was very disconcerting as I've always been so even-keeled.

Your Thanksgiving sounds very cozy and relaxing.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by seb

Much luck with your goal to get below 150 by your 50th birthday.

Do you think that the approaching B-I-G 5-0 might be the cause of your emotional streak? I went through something like that when I hit 40.

Probably!! I'll be glad when it's come and gone at this point!!

Thanks for the hug!!

[sjl330]

Hi Lisa,
I felt sad/blue when my 50th was looming but I'm living proof that it didn't kill me, lol. Really, once you get over the initial 'shock' of being eligible for senior discounts, it's kind of nice. At least there's nothing 'scary' on the horizon anymore. And I'm now almost 58! I thought 60 might bother me but I don't think it will. I do think hormones do have alot to do with it too. I hope you're able to get those regulated well for your emotional and mental state. I actually went through a period of time that I felt like I really hated my DH. Now, as I look back I'm pretty sure it was hormone imbalance. He's not perfect, but he's pretty great. I was just in a really unsatisfied state about alot of things and he happened to be one of the big ones. Hold on girl and hopefully it'll pass quickly for you.

[Dharma]

THANK YOU Sandy. I am definitely all over the place lately. Funny, but I actually feel more for DH lately. As for the rest of my life, yea, I'm feeling a little dissatisfied - in a rut. I'm sure it's because I'm facing a new milestone.

At least I'm not having hot flashes, night sweats, and all that mess!!