Debbie's Doings

[debbiedo]

I know weight fluctuates and one shouldn't weigh daily but I am trying to be accountable with myself. I am up again today. Up 1.4 pounds from yesterday which I know is water weight but it still bothers me inside.

Yesterday's Food

oats and cottage cheese mixture 250 cal

2 sting cheese(2%) 140 and one small apple 100 cal if that

2 small totally trimmed of fat boneless pork chops. My husband but Hoisin sauce on it so probably salty, a small potato with spray butter, some plan steamed brocolli, no salt or fat on there and a small salad with a tiny amount of dressing that wasn't low cal. Salad did have some slivered almonds and craisins in it.

snack of diet pudding

So dinner was top heavy but not horrible. I hit all the major food groups. I ate healthy. I didn't really over eat when looking at the whole day. I did not exercise because it was a day off from that.

Today I have 8 mile long run. I have Bagels after as I do every Saturday. I will have black bean soup and a whole grain baguette and I will be hungry. I hope soup is available when I get there. I feel this is more nutritionally sound then a bagel and cream cheese and the calories are OK after running 8 miles.

I have a big party tonight. I know I picked salmon for dinner it is the drinks and stuff before the meal I have to watch.I am not a drinker but it is easy to have drinks to be social and have fun.

I better go eat and hit the bathroom before I have to leave in 20 minutes. It is 30 out. I will be hot once Irun and probably wishing I didn't wear my jacket over my 2 layers on top. 8 miles should go fine. My friend called to tell me she wouldn't be there but there are lots of others in my group or the group that is just below or above my pace.

[BeepBeep]

Deb you sound good and I hope you have a great run! I'm doing a long-ish run tomorrow OUTSIDE. Can I just tell you ... it's been a loooong time since I went trail running. I'm excited beyond excited.

I think your journal entry is good and it's healing for me to read. thanks for being a positive light in my life...

always

Jen

[debbiedo]

ran my 8 miles. forgot my garmin and removed my watch so had to trust pace group. the guy I ran next too paced us and we ran way too fast for our long run pace but it felt good and was still on the easy side. I feel great. Next week 10 miles and definitely will have to slow down.

I had 1/3 of a power bar and small banana before my run

I had cup of black bean soup and whole grain baguette( not very bit piece) and a few slices of the sample bagels pieces at Panerra. I could have eaten more. I also had 3 cups of tea.

Now I am off to do alll my errands and buy some make up because I have a party to go to tonight.

I will enjoy myself. I may have a glass of wine or two.I will eat carefully. Mostly I will have fun!!!1

I so want to lose 5 pounds but if it doesn't happen I look and feel great!!!

[BeepBeep]

Deb, I find that when I just stay consistent and not be fool about eating it happens. When you find the peace and happiness it'll comes together. I like happy surpises like getting on the scale after not being on a for a long time and going "hey!" or putting on that dress and seeing the difference in how fit you've become but not slaving away at it. This is what it's all about. you are a consistent runner and I have no doubt that you'll take a consistently wholistic approach to life.

have fun tonight and yeah... do all of those things you want to and how you want to!

zzzzzzzzzzz back to work.

[BeepBeep]

bookmarking because ...

hint hint

[debbiedo]

I'll be back but need to shower eat and leave for work in 48 minutes.
5 miles done.

[BeepBeep]

nice job! thanks for popping back in

it's so humid here i feel like an oil field on my face.

[debbiedo]

weight 120.6 when I got up and 119.4 after my run. wish that was the real number. way too scale obsessed. I look great. I am healthy.

I see so many unhealthy people at work.

Just finished my oats and cottage cheese. food all packed. steak for dinner but I will need some fat today since the rest of the day pretty low. I just have to try to eat half what I really want and fill up on veggies.

My pace was slow like I wanted but I did negative splits except for the second mile which is all up. my HR got as high as 172 so that is good. I never worked too hard. I kept running to get that to 5 and a hair beyond and could have easily kept running but work is quickly approaching and I need legs for the track tomorrow.

Tuesday Track:

one mile warm up
4X800s at threshold pace which will be 4.44 I think with 400 recoveries and
one mile cool down

I think this adds up to 5 miles.

My Garmin will say I did more because we slower pace group runners run more on the outer lanes therefore more distance. It will add up to another .25 miles believe it or not. Weird but true!

[debbiedo]

so I was going to go to Pilates today since I have the day off and work called and I am going in for 4 hours to help. The extra money will be good and they are in major need.

I can do anything for 4 hours.

Weight on the downward swing. 119.6 today. The thing is it never gets much below 119. So I try to keep under 120 as a goal but prefer to be closer to
115. Number one I want my clothes to fit so I don't need to spend money on a new wardrobe.

I feel good. My legs feel heavier then I like but all that running does build muscle. I looked great at my party Saturday and people said I looked tiny.

off to finish getting ready for work. it will be 4 busy hours.

[BeepBeep]

Deb, how cool the scale is moving down for you (and stay off it so much btw!) and you are enjoying a socially fun life. That's fabby!


Rest day for me today. I was up at 3am working on a project. Besides that I have DOMS from a hard workout I did 2 days ago.

There is a b-day party at work and I want to go but I can't! I have a dr's appointment (shhhh therapy). I'm so weirded out about what to say... I guess I'll say I have a dr's appt. If I reschedule it they charge me major bucks so I can't do that now.

Enjoy your running! Have a great day and stay positive and healthy too!

[debbiedo]

thnx Jen. just say Doctors appt.

[TaDa!]

I just wanted to pop in and tell you how great you're doing Deb!! From what you're saying it sounds like your body wants to weigh around 119 ... Your food looks so very little compared to what I eat for weightloss!!! and of course you are exercising to your max ... what you said about muscle in your legs is a very very good point!!! Have you had your body fat percentage tested??!! Your quest for 115 might actually be unrealistic if you are piling on muscle with your carb/running diet and all the running you do. A body fat percentage goal - with the same result of smaller body size to fit into your clothes - might be the way to go ? Just a thought! I know you hang out on the Muscle Matters board sometime, maybe it might help to have them give you their thoughts on the subject.

You're doing great!!! I could never get to 119, never mind 115!!! lol!!!

Pauline

[debbiedo]

Thanks Pauline. I bounce around. Today back up to 121. Of course I had Chinese for dinner and over ate because I was starving after the hard track work out. The thing is on my hardest workout days I do try to eat more. I try to eat less on the days I don't workout.

I just want my clothes to fit so I don't have to buy a new wardrobe. I have so many other things to spend money on and I have cut back some at work.

I have have never had my bosy fat checked but I have plenty of fat and it is at least in would think it is not super low. I look fit and great and should be happy. I am not unhappy. I just prefer under 120 and that number doesn't stick.

I know I shouldn't weigh every day. I am scale obsessed now that I am back on it. I stayed off for months.

I won't let it ruin by day!!!

Today I have a hard cross training cardio workout. Need to sweat out the sodium from the Garlic Chicken and Hot and Sour Soup I ate last night. The rest of my day was actually low and very low fat.

[BeepBeep]

Hi Tada! I'm Jen. Sounds like we'd get along great. I love your mentality about body and all... you're a veggie? I used to be one too. I loooove veggies! Nice words to Deb girl... I agree... but I think Deb wants what she wants and she's willing to make some small and healthy sacrifices to see where she can go with this stuff. I understand. I do.

But as far as the scale Deb, you are so much smarter than that. Don't be a slave to the scale. Get your body fat tested, I'm sure you'll be super pleasantly surprised! Its' all about enjoying the process of getting fitter and not doing stupid crap to diet. <<<getting off soapbox>>> besides your body will do what it will.

I love this quote "The mind tricks the body, the body thinks the mind's crazy."

Ugh I have TOM coming on... oops thread jack!

[debbiedo]

TOM killed me last month in the PMS faze. I felt horrible the day of my race.

I really think I am running better now and want so bad to test it out but I am waiting till March 10K and working on building up miles slowly. 10 miler Saturday.

Next weeks track workout is a tough 1000x4 with 200 recovery. 200 isn't alot of recovery time. I love those recovery laps even when I still go a bit too fast. My pacve group has a very experienced Boston Bound women in it because she wants to train at a slower pace for Boston. She feels too much speed work won't benefit her marathon training. She happens to be First Time Marathon training coach so I need to try to slow down and listen to her because my going faster then presrcribed paces may feel good in my head but probably not really beneficial. It is good to know I can do it but do I have to for the program to work?? Probably not and I am more likley to be hurting. Of course we are very early in the speed work so it is onlyt going to get harder. Those 1600 repeats won't be done faster then pace. I know that for sure!!!

[debbiedo]

faze=phase

great spelling deb. I have so many typos. Jeez I need to pay attention.

Working on new garage door at the same time as posting and making plans to see a movie with friends too. Now I need to get ready for gym and get out of here. It is so windy I don't want to go outside!

[TaDa!]

hiya Jen! Nice to meet you! <waves>

Deb, the bodyfat thing is just a different scale, and if the word "fat" makes you think of your fat, just think of it as your percentage of lean mass (i.e. muscle), because if I remember my BFFM (Tom Venuto) correctly, as your lean muscle mass goes up, even if your actual scale weight goes up, you can be wearing smaller clothing ... that is truly what I aspire to .. to have as much muscle and as little fat as I can and get into those tight clothes (like you, lol!). The more I can weigh and be the measurements of a size 4p, the better .. it will actually mean I am more muscle even if the scale weight is exactly as before ... and I get the impression you are eating in that way with your really good carbs ... you might be very very surprised at how you are doing with bodyfat when the scale isn't budging.

Anyhooooooooo, I don't mean to push it or anything, just clarify maybe what i was saying! WTG on the marathon training! I wish this dang heel spur would break off or something, lol! I am getting some new shoe inserts, maybe they'll help ..

KUTGW!!!!!

[debbiedo]

weight 121.4 or something like that but was retaining alot of fluid this morning so not worried. My rings are nice and loose now.

Went to Pilates and did some more abs on the frame where you have to hold yourself up of the ground and then bring legs up. I couldn't even do as many sets as yesterday. I did just do Pilates plus my abs are sore from yesterday. So that is a good thing and I need to use this piece of equiptment more. I hope the branch of my gym I goto Tuesday has it there. I never really looked. because Tues, Wed and Thursdays I will do three sets on it even if they are short sets. The last set today I could only do 4-5. It also works my arms holding myself up.

eating has been fine. I haven't had anything bad in 12 days except at the party Saturday and I planned for that. My weight is stable and one pair of my too tight jeans fit yesterday except the waist was still a hair tight. They are size 2 petite so I can't be very big but my waist is an issue.

Off to relax. I should clean but don't feel like it. Got the groceries bought and put away and did the banking so tomorrow morning all I have is the bills to pay. I am too lazy to do it now and it is depressing to see the paycheck go and still have more to pay. My next pay check will have some extra in it since I worked 5.5 hours Tuesday extra.

[debbiedo]

I haven't written here in a while. I have been busy. I also feel like nothing ever changes much in my life. It is all very routine for me. I guess that is a good thing.

I have been pretty happy with my self. I feel good in my skin and haven't been on the scale in ages. I sometimes wonder how I can complain about my body. I hear all kinds of positive afirmations from my husband and people around me yet I feel like I am pudgy. I am trying to think more positively. My son recently had some testing for school and the area he had issues with was body image. God I hope I haven't done this to him. It may just be 16 year old thoughts.

I have to leave for work so no time to post much else.

I haven't been eating perfectly. I have had some foods I would never touch in the past. I had M and Ms 2 days ago. I have an occasional cookie. I am trying not to withhold food groups but I am eating healthy for the most part. I had a pair of pants on Saturday that fit great and they didn't a month ago so something is working. I think all the abs I am doing at the gym and the extra weight work even though only upper body seems to help.

I am staying away from the scale for now and will use my clothes as a guide but I must remain accountable or the weight will creep back on as it has so many times.

[BeepBeep]

Deb you're in a great spot. I long to be there. Seems like yesterday I was there. I feel so far from that now... oh well. I'll get there.

Sorry to hear about your son but don't take it hard OK? Think of your hubby's role in it too. Life is never ALL you, it's a lot of factors.

[Tate]

Originally Posted by debbiedo

I have been pretty happy with my self. I feel good in my skin and haven't been on the scale in ages. I sometimes wonder how I can complain about my body. I hear all kinds of positive afirmations from my husband and people around me yet I feel like I am pudgy.

Deb,

Having met you in person, I can assure you that the LAST word I would use to describe you is "pudgy". I think it is good that you are staying off of the scale, and I am kind of jealous as I am still chained to mine. You are SUPER healthy---you are an excellent nurse, wife, mother, and friend. FOr those of us with body image/eating issues, it can seem like our value is 95% about our weight and 5% our accomplishments, relationships, etc., when in truth, it is actually the opposite. This kind of thinking can be hard to change.

Re: your son----I understand you might feel anxious about "sharing" your body image issues with your son, but our culture also plays a HUGE role in that, so do not take too much of that on yourself. Advertismenets, Hollywood, tv----they all tell our young people that proximity to physical perfection is the barometer for a person's worth-----so twisted, so very, very wrong. You are a good mom and I am sure you have done a great job with your kids.

HUGZ!!!!

[debbiedo]

hugs back to you Tate!!!!

[debbiedo]

I am not very good at journaling. I should try to do better. I guess nothing much happening day to day in my life.

Let's see what is new??

The big thing is we aren't moving. My husband had been pursued by a place in Boston area. They kept calling and he had a number of interviews and then they decided on someone else for the job. Their loss. We are glad we aren't moving but the job was so much more money I could have not worked. I would have to help pay college costs and to put away money. I am happy here and would have moved but really didn't to.

I ran my longest run since Fall. I did 14 rainy, muddy miles. It really isn't hard to do. Not when you have company during your run and you take a few short breaks to drink water. It took 2 and 40 minutes of running time. I don't closer to 2:50 minutes with breaks and all.

I haven't weighed myself. I haven't tried on the clothes that tend to get tight when I gain weight. My jeans fit nicely and they are size 2 but vanity sized. I had someone tell me I got very skinny yesterday and I don't feel skinny. I feel healthy and not fat. I feel good until I try on the pants that used to fit but that are tight in the waste and tummy area. I should try them again but don't want to feel badly so I don't. Next Saturday I need to dress for a nice dinner out. I may wear a dress that fits no matter what my waste is. I eat the way I eat. I try my best. I run and exercise alot and I am trying to not stress over this. I have binged a lot the last few weeks. I really think hormones drive this. I get miserable the week or so before TOM. Now I feel great and don't even want to binge.

I am happy. I feel good but tired because I have had a busy day and still have lots to do.

I will try and journal more. I don't want to come here and complain about my back or my feelings of fatness the days I get in that mood. I am not fat. I am fine. I am not going to let the numbers on the scale get to me. I am fit and I trim and I am totally fine with myself( at least today I am).

[Tate]

Sounds like you are doing great. I love your "no nonsense" approach to things---it is very "nurse like" of you (I know several nurses and they all seem to have this quality---verrrrry interesting....)

Huggers!!! And congrats on the 14 miles---WOW!!!

[debbiedo]

I have been neglecting my journal here.

This past weekend my husband and I went to Virginia( over the river) and stayed at the host hotel for the Cherry Blossom 10 miler. We did the whole esxpo scene Saturday after we dropped in at our Saturday morning "bagels" with running friends. Saturday night we had a nice Italian dinner and I tried my best to get a decent nights sleep. I was happy to get any sleep at all because I usually have issues the night before a race especially when I have to get up early. I was out of bed at 5:30. I had a banana and a PB and J sandwich and we were off to the shuttle bus to the race site at 6:40 am. This race is well organized. It was nice to get on warm school buses and be shuttled over the river to race site. The race started right at the Washington Monument. It was rainy and cool with the temp around 45. I decided to wear capri length running pants and a short sleeve shirt with a loose long sleeve shirt on top. I thought I could tie that shirt around me if I got too hot. I wore my cap and looked like a 10 year old boy but it keeps the rain out of my face. I used a trash bag to stay dry prerace. This time went pretty fast. I checked my bad and was happy to see one of my running buddies working bag check. I then did some stretching as they did a group stretch and hit the porta potties. I ran a few minutes just to warm up and before I knew it we were in our corrals. I saw a girl who is in my pace group and hung with her and then 4 ladies from my summer pace group arrived right where I was standing. Off we went. The race at 18,000 runners. There were around 26 elite runners there. They went off first and then there were like 3 corrals ahead of mine. Even with this the course was crowded. The girl I was running with and I just kept passing and dodging runners. I wore my Garmin and hit the start button as I ran over the mat but my mileage was off. I would see the mile on my Garmin a good 10 seconds before the course clock at each mile. I saw we did our first mile in around 9 minutes. As we ran out past the Tidal Basin and out to Hanes Point the road was narrowed and we were really clogged up. We kept working hard to pass runners and as we hit 5 miles I noticed the girl I was with was not running very hard. I was feeling it. She took off. My 6th mile was pretty much evenly paced and my 7th only slightly slower. Mile 8 and 9 were a good 10-15 seconds slower. There was a very narrow 180 turn and then a big looping turn. These two stretches are were I lost focus. I could see the runners coming back at me and saw people I know and looked at who was coming at me. I think I wasn't as focused as I should have been. There was also wind as we went over the Potomac on the Memorial Bridge into VA turned around the big circle with a fountain in the middle and came back to hear one mile left. That last mile felt like it went forever. I was so close to a PR but couldn't run any faster. I was pretty much spent. As I look back I did my best. A PR was in reach but didn't happen. I was so close to where I was last year. 11 seconds slower on a new race course and some rainy cold weather. Last year was cool but dry with no winds. I did great. My over all pace was a lousy 1 second a mile slower. Oh well one can only do there best that day. I will do it again next year and who knows how I will do. My goal was to come in under 1:40.My hope was to come in close to my time for last year. I easily met goal one and I was right there with my time for last year so I am consistent even with my bad back and 51 year old body.

My husband wanted to break 2 hours and did it in around 2:02. A girl in my age bracket who runs tons of races but is not particulary fast came in under 2 hours( she was closer to 1:50) and was in tears because she had never expected to do so well. She is in Speed Development for the first time this year. It does work. I am proof because in January I ran a 5 mile race and was way slower then my 10 miler yesterday. My 10K time yesterday was faster then my 10 K in this race last year too.

One thing that was not great with this new course and start and finish area is we could not set up a club tent. I missed regrouping with fellow club members. The Park service didn't allow the tents yet some still set some up. It is nice to have a dry place to go and a place to meet up with friends and family.

My legs have some muscle soreness today but nothing like they did last year. This year I have been working adding weight training to my running routine and I also have reduced my weekly mileage and have been running 4 days a week instead of 5. I have stayed consistent and maybe won't gain lots of speed but my back will hopefully be happier and I will be able to keep running.

When we signed up for Cherry Blossom in Dec. I wasn't even sure I would be able