My journal for changing my life.

[mysticpizza65]

O.k. I will admit I have never posted an online journal before and this will be different, as I intend to be brutally honest with myself. I haven,t been what you would call skinny since I was 8 or 9 years old. I,m a big boned gal and 5ft 6 in tall, so I will never be little, but I was 129# with a 26 inch waist when I got married. I went downhill fast after I gave birth to my four children. My marriage was troubled. I had the complete care of all my kids with no help ever from my husband. He basically zoned out where fatherhood was concerned. I know now I was in a deep depression and maybe even had some post partum depression. Anyway, I never lost more then 20 lbs of my weight after each of the births. So when I had my last child in 1967 ( I was 25), i weighed a hefty 188#. As the years went by I just slowly added more and more. I met a new man after my divorce who loved me as I was, so there was really no incentive to lose it. I was happy and ignorant. I guess you could also say " denial"?? I want to say here my new husband was the love of my life. I thought I was in love before, but I had no clue. You know how your Mom or others will say " You will know when you meet him?" That is soooo true! I knew the instant I met him that he was the one. We had 11 wonderful years, but I lost him in 1993 to Leukemia when he was only 54 y.o.
I was devastated and gave up on life for awhile. I still had to work( I was a nurse), and that helped some, but I wasn,t taking care of myself and the weight just kept creeping up. I hit my highest after I retired at 248#,s. The day I stepped on that scale in my doctors office and I was two pounds from 250, I told myself ENOUGH!!!!! I went on Atkins first in 2004. I lost 40 lbs, grew tired of it and quit for 3 years. Funny thing though. I only put 9 lbs. back on from my original loss. Being closer to my goal then last time gave me the encouragement I needed to try it again. I restarted Atkins on 05/02/07 and its harder this time and has been slower going. As of this morning I have lost 19 pounds and I will not give up this time no matter how much or how long I stall.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Congrats on starting your journal! You have done so well, KUTGW