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Old 07-07-2007, 09:14 AM   #31
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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My 1st set of face pics....
Today is day 14, 19 lbs down, I don't know how many inches, but I do know it's an inch and 1/2 from my waist.

And it shows in my face!



Double chin be gone!
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Old 07-08-2007, 05:48 AM   #32
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Hey wow, there's a huge difference in those photos! Way to go!

Your son is beautiful. Good work on that one, too.

Up 2 lbs in a day? it's water, forget about it.

The retreat yesterday was not that bad, but it made me crazy to be missing my brother. As soon as I got back I went over to my sister's house and hung out w/ the brother and my sister & brother in law, and my niece and nephew (the light of my life) and then my brother came over to my house and we went out. I took him on a walking tour of a few neighborhoods around where I live, and we played scrabble at a bar. Neither he nor I are drinking right now, just by chance, so we sat in the bar, playing scrabble & drinking coffee! ha ha ha. Squares. I'm so psyched he's here! We also chatted with my sister in law on the phone and I was goading them to move to Boston. They won't, but Jeff was really enthusiastic about the area I showed him, saying "wow, this just confirms that Colorado has NO CHARACTER!" Which is weird coming from him b/c he just moved to Colorado within the past few months and before that he lived in Manhattan...

So at the retreat I drank diet coke and ate some dill pickles, at my sister's house I had a cheeseburger patty with a slice of onion, and at the bar I had a cappuccino and we split artichoke dip. And yesterday the scale briefly flashed 137.5... before revising to 139. But that's fine! I can't express to you how bizarre I feel about being in the 130s.

I hope May is feeling better. Take good care of her.

xoxo
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11/02-11/03 249/144 <-- whoa 100 lbs!
10/06-6/07: 199/135
8/13-3/14 206/164.5/145?

I'm losing weight sloooooowly now.

Last edited by palegirl; 07-08-2007 at 05:49 AM..
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Old 07-08-2007, 08:26 AM   #33
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May is much better today... she just needs to take her meds to control whatever her stomach is doing. She's at work today, which I hate... I'm always really bored when she's not here. But when she is here, the day flies by. I'll wake up at 7 and then all of a sudden it's 9 PM.... so weird.

I remember when I was in my 170's, it was always very surreal to me. I was so close to goal, and I kept thinking, well what will happen when I get to goal. My entire life has been about not being thin... very weird...

When does your brother go back? and I'm glad that you are eating something!

We're car shopping at the moment. May wants a Beetle, I just want her to stay in the 10000-11000 range. lol I hate car shoping and she thinks that I'm obnoxious.... I do a lot of research bc I figure you have to in order to bargain. but I hate it... I just don't look forward to this at all, it's so stressful to me. Alas, we need the extra car bc we don't live in an area with public transportation even though the mayor keeps saying that's her focal point... for the last 11 eyars or something.



I'm done ranting lol I'm off to work out. Cardio Pilates... I got a new DVD from ebay.
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Old 07-08-2007, 09:34 AM   #34
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well... I did it, the new video... I'm shaking! lol It's pilates with weights... they recommend 3 lbs, but I'm up to 5. so that's what I used... I'm definitely noting more endurance on my end... normally when I get a new video, I can't make it all the way through, with this one, it was 48 minutes and I was suprised when it was done.

Still no weight change... ah, well, I keep drinking water and keep moving and it'll start up again... I figure, I lost 19 lbs in 2 weeks, my body may neeed a few days to catch up, right?
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Old 07-09-2007, 03:58 AM   #35
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whew, I'm back down to siggy weight. I was getting antsy there.

note to self: on school days, no glass of wine and three episodes of lost because I can't get my booty up to workout and now my day already feels discombobulated. I normally go to bed between 9:30 and 10:00 and last night, it was after 11:00, so I didn't quite make that 5:30 wakeup.

I'll do pilates when I work out tonight, as soon as I get home... I don't know what to make for dinner. I'm out of propane for the grill, I discovered last night. We bought a grill in february and I don't think that I've used the oven for meat since then! lol I have to wait until payday though to get the refill.

I really want to read up on working out... Cranstan at work was telling me about resting muscle groups for 2 days before weight lifting again bc of homeostasis... I want to understand that.
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Old 07-09-2007, 08:04 AM   #36
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Good job getting back to your sig weight! high five.

here's my note to self: only take 5-htp RIGHT BEFORE BED, no earlier! It knocks me on my ass! ha ha ha. I ate a lot throughout the weeknd, this morning I was 140.5. I'm going to try to get back down to 138. I'll be practicing a lot more this week. Tonight hopefully the weather will dry up and I"ll have team practice, and then on Weds I have a 3 hour combo-practice (league, then travel team.) That one's indoors and therefore guaranteed.

The weekend with my brother was awesome, but too short, he's gone already. We did a lot of things that I had been planning to do with Dolly. I was so excited for her to move in and for us to have a great summer together. Jeffrey is way better, obviously, but it's still bittersweet. My sister's family came over and my niece and nephew started asking "Where's Dolly? Where's Dolly?" and that was kind of tough. We just told them that she was away.

Good luck with the car shopping, you sound like me, I'd do crazy amounts of research too. I hate to spend money! I'm trying to trim, trim, trim my lifestyle, but I'm going to have to start advertising for a roommate. I'm not quite sure how much someone would pay to live in the office, it's quite small and doesn't have a closet, but I'm going to start by asking $500/month + half utilities. The common spaces are huge and beautiful and well-appointed. They get a parking spot in the driveway, and they can move in immediately, if they want, too.

I've never had a stranger-roommate before, it's making me quite anxious.
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:52 PM   #37
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Ive never had a stranger roommate either... wow. I think I would invest in a background check and ask for references.

Well... May fell in love. 2001 VW Beetle, lime green. We'll see, I want to take it to a mechanic first.

I peed pink!!!! DARK PINK! on the Ketostix. I never register more than trace, but today it was dark!

I'm beat... I wanted to get up at 5:30 to go job, but May wants to work out in the morning and someone has to stay to watch Aiden, so it'll be pilates.

Sorry your brother is gone. Why did he only do the weekend? That's a lot of flying for 2 days.
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Old 07-10-2007, 09:44 AM   #38
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I literally ate FIVE atkins advantage granola bars yesterday, thought for sure that my weight would be humungous today, but nope, I'm back down to 139. Since the big break-up loss I've bounced around btw 138 and 140.5. I'm maintaining it so far! Even when I eat. Good.

Good job w/ the ketostix, I've never used them. I can tell when I'm in ketosis by (eew) how my pee smells (like white grape juice!), and sometimes by the flavor in my mouth.

It looked like it was going to storm for sure last night, so I canceled team practice, and I don't think it ever did, but I don't know because I went home, put on a movie and fell asleep almost immediately and slept right through the night on my couch. I woke up at 5 am. My boss told me yesterday that I didn't have to come in until 11 today b/c she was taking G to a dr. appointment, but then she called a little after 8 and said she had screwed up the times, and could I just come in? I wound up getting here at about 9:30, which is 2 hours later than usual, but it works out b/c yesterday I stayed an hour past my regular time. They had me come in 1/2 hr late yesterday too, and then asked if I could stay 1/2 hr on the other end, but then she got stuck in traffic... I think it all pretty much evened out. I also told her she needn't rush home on time this evening. As long as it works out in my favor, and they don't make too much of a habit of it, I don't mind.

The one negative about my job, the reason I almost didn't take this position, is that they said I am to bring my own food. Free food is like, the number one perk of being a nanny! It really annoys me that they don't want me to eat their food, ESPECIALLY on days that I forget to bring a lunch or just don't have anything at home. In those cases I either don't eat, or go out -- but I really don't want to spend my money on eating lunch out.

I wanna start dating so I get a free dinner a couple times a week. No I don't. Yes I kinda do. Is it wrong to date for the free food? Is that even how it works? Who dates!? I'm considering maybe doing a speeddating thing once, just to try it. It's next Tuesday, and it's $35. It'd at least give me something else to focus on.

I'm wearing one of the new dresses for the new body today. My boss complimented me on it immediately, that was nice! I kinda said that I was going to plan my food for every day the night before, but I haven't done it yet... I don't know what I'm going to eat today. So far I have had a breve latte. I suspect I'm not going to eat again today... ugh. I know I should, and it won't make me fat, but I've been so bingey lately! Like, once I eat one thing, I just can't stop. It's easier to just not eat. But I know that's bad. Oh, I just got an idea, I can eat eggs! Eggs aren't going to set off a binge.

I don't know what to do about these granola bars. I have 10 left. obviously they induced crazy cravings (for more granola bars) so I won't BUY them again, but maybe I should just eat 1 a day for 10 days? I can't bear to get rid of them, they're literally the only food I've bought this month, I've been systematically eating the food out of my freezer (it's almost gone) because I'm trying to save money. I used up the last of the laundry detergent this morning, so I'm going to have to buy that... Okay, I'm totally rambling, sorry.

Food issues, money issues, self-esteem issues... I could go on all day! I just told this guy who I never dated, but had an intense romantic but not physical relationship with, and was in love with (he was dating someone else at the time) about the break up, and he was asking a lot of questions about the scumbag girl, Joy. His questions really got me upset and I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore. He's getting married in October, and I feel really bad about that. I regret that he and I weren't ever able to date properly, only platonically. I'm the only person I know who has had platonic romantic relationships, but I have. I'm so weird. I want to date a boy properly, I've only ever had truly bizarre or ****ed up relationships with boys. Like sex-only-and-we-hate-each-others-guts or we're-totally-in-love-but-don't-hook-up. That doesn't make me a lesbian necessarily. I've had two very serious long term relationships with women, but both times have been utterly destroyed by getting dumped miserably. What Jocelyn did to me was equally bad and incredibly similar to what Dolly has done. How can I ever trust anyone? How can I ever trust a lesbian? Not overgeneralize, perhaps might be a start.

xoxo
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Old 07-10-2007, 04:22 PM   #39
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I would ditch the bars completely and do induction... stop the binges and whatnot. I am horrible with things like that, they just set off binges and I go crazy and eat and eat and eat.

I've had strange relationships also with men... But I don't necessarily feel like a "lesbian" either... I can't explain it. I dn't know what to tell you about trusting them. I lucked out, but I have been cheated on and not just cheated, but it's been scheming and sneaky and down right nasty, not that other cheating is better I guess..... maybe I'm just bitter! lol

I need to eat and then work on my laptop...I don't really want to, but there's not enough hours in the day at work, and at home, I'mnot interrupted with questiosn from the newbies... and other departments.

I did workout, pilates today. ARe you doing the firm? And I haven't noticed that the 5htp knowcks me out... I don't really notice any difference actually.
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Old 07-10-2007, 08:48 PM   #40
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hey, I found my old before & after photos. Thought you might enjoy them.





that last pic is from the afterparty of my sister's wedding, in Nov 03. I weighed about 150 then. My brother in law took a bunch of photos this weekend, maybe he got a decent one of me, full length. If so, I'll share it.
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Old 07-11-2007, 02:09 AM   #41
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argh! I got to sleep a little after midnight and woke up around 4:30. Why God why?! I took the 5htp last night too, I thought it would help me sleep longer. Guess not.

So yesterday I bought groceries. Italian sausages were on sale for .99 for a package of six. So I bought 10 of those, and I cooked up two packs and a spaghetti squash when I got home to have food for the rest of the week. I also got some Salmon and scallops, I'll have the scallops today, I froze the salmon.

Yesterday afternoon I told my friend Amy that I was looking for a roommate and she said she was looking to move and we both got very excited. Then she came over after work and when she saw how small the office is she got very, very negative. She said it's not a definite no, but I don't think it's going to work out. Sucks, it would have been perfect. I told her I'd move into the office, but she can't afford the higher rent for the bedroom. I don't think I'd be willing to move into the office to let a *stranger* have the big room, though. Damnit, it was so promising for a few hours there...
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Old 07-12-2007, 03:04 AM   #42
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ah, that sucks with your friend Amy, but on her behalf... it's hrad to live with no closet space. I had this really pimp apartment in Hyde Park a couple of years ago, and I LOVED it. I bragged about it, everyone thought it was cool. There weren't any real defined "rooms" if you will. Off of the one space in the bedroom, there was a giant wa;l in closet, so I converted it into Aiden's room, which left me no closet, except for a couple of bars in the bathroom. It was rough. And right now, we're so low on closet space, we're living on top of everything it feels like.

So I'm pissed at the scale. I've been working out everyday and I'm up three pounds... this is why I was getting discouraged last year...
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Old 07-12-2007, 06:03 AM   #43
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The three pounds is okay. First of all, working out is good for you. Eating well is good for you. You're doing good, healthy things. It's 3 lbs of water. Or a funky scale. Or any number of stupid things. Don't get discouraged though, because you *know* you're doing the right things. So continue doing them, and the weight will sort itself out, you'll shed the water or whatever, and your jeans will get baggy and you'll look a mess for all the best reasons. I promise.

It's a marathon, not a sprint, blah blah blah and all that.

Yesterday was especially hard for me, emotionally. It was bad and sad all day, I cried a lot, and I was going to go to practice, and then I wasn't going to go to practice, and then I was... I went. We have these 18 new skaters, and I really don't know them at all, I've been cutting all of their practices (bad girl!) and this one girl was set up right next to me, she asked me if I was okay, and I laughed it off and said I was fine & gave her a smile, and then later during a water break she asked me again what was the matter and I told her nothing, whatever, I love to rollerskate, blah blah. Then during another water break she said "you look like the saddest girl in the world. I'll stop prying though, if you want." and I said "yes, thank you." I have this problem where my emotions are blatantly obvious and easy to read by ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. It's incredibly frustrating. I know that girl was trying to be nice, and I really appreciate that, but I don't even know her, what the hell was I supposed to say? I'd send her an email today and thank her for being a sweetheart, but I literally don't know her name. I thought I was putting on a happy face, guess not. Some other people who I have real history with also sort of went out of their way to be nicer than usual, and it was extremely irritating, because I've heard about **** they've allegedly said about me behind my back, so it feels reaaaaaaally false. I torn between wanting to be more guarded and less. And I don't want people to know about the break up. Gosh, I feel so humiliated.

Anyway, I'm really proud of you for working out every day (or almost every day?) You're doing a great job. I bet you feel really good too! And I'm proud of me for going to practice. You really did inspire me to get back into my practice groove, it would have been really easy to continue cutting, and get more and more estranged from the whole situation. But during the scrimmage I proved that I'm still a top player, it's undeniable, even with the new body. Rah rah.

So keep it up, and don't get discouraged. If you want I'll come down there and recalibrate your scale for you.

I hope May is feeling better. xoxo
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Old 07-13-2007, 03:42 AM   #44
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well, I'm back down to siggy... oy vey... I'm thinking that 3rd week slump, I've never had a 3rd week slump before, so what can I do? I did pilates again. The working out is awesome for you... if you're doing it, you have to eat.

I'm sorry it's hard... How long were you two together? My last break up, I think it took two or three months to feel normal, but if she would call again, it would start it all over. It'll get better.


I have to go to work... I don't wanna. lol I'm a supervisor for a credit card processor, and I have a TON of work to do and then I get a million questions, so I have a hard time getting my work done... but I love my job. I love what I'm learning and I'm training myself to take over being a business analyst so I'm really digging into the technical side of my job. I'm just tired I think. I work a lot of hours and it seems like the weekends aren't long enough.

May is feeling much better, she's on her meds! Tomorrow we're taking Stinky to see Harry Potter! I'm soooo excited! We go to the AMC before noon on a weekend and the tix are only $4.00 per person... I'll have to sneak some meat in with me.... I dn't know, a couple of chicken breasts or a burger
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Old 07-13-2007, 04:07 AM   #45
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oh yeah, too. I work out everyday now. And I'm liking what is happening too. I can lift things! I can lift my son (he's 80 lbs) and we went to Target yesterday and I lifted the bakers rack... May laughs and says that I'll be flipping cars next! lol
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Old 07-15-2007, 07:38 AM   #46
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Okay, now you have to make "flipping cars" a fitness goal, because that's ridiculous. ha ha ha.

she and I were together for two years. We've been living together since October.

How was Harry Potter? I've managed to avoid the entire craze - books, movies, everything. I have a feeling that one of these days, maybe when the twins or the baby I take care of get into it, I'll pick up the books and get totally into it.

Sneaking meat into the movie theater, you are a riot. We used to sneak vast quantities of beer in. In college I used to go to film screenings with a flask of whiskey and a diet coke, and drink it all. Ahhh, college.

Yesterday was insane. I guess the relevant details are:
  • I worked out *hard* for three hours
  • My food choices were all excellent (except maybe the grilled ear of corn I had? Not necessarily the best choice ever.)
  • I drank a vast quantity of booze
  • My weight is holding steady at 138

The irrelevant details are:
  • I can't seem to sleep past 5:30 am, as a general rule
  • The ex is being super-mean
  • I cried for hours, feeling humiliated
  • forced myself to leave the apartment
  • forced myself to go to practice (ALWAYS a good idea)
  • after practice made a snap decision to go to my sister's bbq, was GLAD I did. Drank sugar free mojitos! GREAT idea.
  • got home, turned around and went out to my friend's birthday party, GREAT IDEA. Had sobered up by the time I got there. Mixed drinks were $10, though, so I only had one of those, and two beers.
  • it's handy to have prepared LC food in the fridge to chow on when wasted at 3 am. Good for me!

driving from my sister's house to mine would have taken less than 15 minutes. Taking the T takes an hour. I chatted with several strangers, charming Palegirl was back for the very first time. Thanks booze!

Also, dancing was awesome. That's one thing that has changed over the course of our relationship. I used to feel really embarrassed dancing, not really know what to do. Now, although I kinda just dance like Dolly, I really do enjoy dancing, and feel pretty and confident. So thanks, Dolly.

A few of my friends at the party asked "where's Dolly?" and I said "she's away." Which is true. I wonder how long I can keep this up. My team has a scrimmage vs. her team in two weeks. I have a feeling it'll all come out on that day, b/c her team all know, and they'll chat with my team. It'll come up. And neither of us can skip out on that scrimmage, either, because regionals is 3 weeks after that, so it's intense training time.

When I got home from the club, I finally talked to the neighbors who are often out on their deck right across from my back door & bedroom window. I told them I felt lonely and they said "where are your roommates?" and I said "she cheated on me and dumped me, I live here alone now." They were really sweet, and I told them that I'm lonely all the time, and encouraged them to stop by whenever. I hope they do! I've really wanted to be friends with them since I moved here. Their names are John and Andrew. I'm writing that here so I don't forget. I'm terrible with names, I'm surprised I even remember them now! They said they might know a guy to rent my small bedroom, and might know a girl for me to date. I declined the set-up, but I'll take the roommate!

So maybe it sounds like I had a good day. I did things, and I'm glad I did them, and they were fun, but underneath it all was just intense sadness. I guess this is how you get through this though, you just have to do some stuff, and sometimes feel okay, and sometimes not, and over time I guess the okay will increase and the not-okay will (hopefully) decrease...

Thanks Lynn, for reading all this self-pity.
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Old 07-15-2007, 09:06 AM   #47
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I'm a horrible person... I have said ne'er a word about all of your photos! You are hot, pushing 250 or skinny minnie. Just thought I would throw that out there, May said the same thing too! lol

I'm glad you did all of that.... the last break up I had, I refused to go out, and then when I did go out, I was doing things that weren't all that healthy for me. I'm having a hard time still reconciling all of that with my self worth... it'll come in time I suppose.

I wouldn't worry about the corn. I think an ear every once in a while is ok.... I try to stay away from it in induction, but afterwards, I don't worry too much.

I am still inducting, that God forsaken scale isn't moving, however, I'm taking measurements and I'm losing... a lot! My shorts, I can take off without unbuttoning or unzipping, and my jeans which were toooooo snug in Texas to wear, are comfy and my fat hips aren't hanging over the top anymore.... in some ways, I'm lucky that I was smaller already bc I have a lot of clothes to grow down to.

That's nice that you met your neighbors... I hate my neighbors. When May and I first got together, I was sooo broke, I had been laid off two times in less than a year and I was sharing a three bedroom with some a-holes and all I really had was a bed (it was a very rough year lol), the roommates were horrible, so we just looked for anything near my mom. We found this place, which is cute, but it's not in a very good neighborhood. It's an old vacation duplex, that we only pay $500.00 a month for, which sounds fab, but bc it's really old, there's no insulation (High electric, every month), there are plumbing issues (high water, every month) when we got cable, everything had to be rewired.... but, I always say that one day we can look back adn laugh about it. When we moved in, all we had was a bed, clothes and a 13 inch TV. Now, we have all the amenities, and actually, it's getting to be that the apartment is really too small. We are getting another car this week or next and then, we're going to focus on moving into a condo by my mom's house. She watches Stinky everyday and I would love to just walk over and get him bc it's extremely congested here, and it always takes 20 minutes just to get anywhere...

But yeah, the neighbors... lol The one next door is always yelling at her whatever "trifling" man she is dating, at all hours of the day and night.. and 4 AM. The neighbors across the street always have teenagers just hanging out in the driveway... some people wlak up and give them money and then walk away, so I can only imagine. And then everyone else on the block is really nice, it's just these two. I would stay for much longer here in order to save up for a down payment on a house if it weren't for the people across the street really.

dolly will be gone soon enough... and then life will start to feel better without that stress. You should tell your team though so that they aren't blindsided by the info. They could start being supportive now rather than later. If anyone should feel shamed, it should be her. she may seem happy with her new whatever, but it won't go well. Relationships that start like that rarely do.
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Old 07-15-2007, 05:02 PM   #48
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And Harry potter was alright.... I am deaf in one ear and I get all psyched to go to the movies and in reality, I need closed captioning... a lot of it sounds muddled bc my left ear can't distinguish background noise from speaking (we all have a filter in our ear to do that) and that overpowers my right ear... so people start laughing and I either miss it altogether, or I get it like 5 minutes later bc that's when I can piece back together what they said, at which point, I've missed 5 minutes of movie. oy vey. It was good, but I can't wait to see it on DVD where I Can read it also.

AS it happened, I had breakfast before hand and didn't need to sneak meat, but I have before! Chicken (to eat with a fork and knife lol) burgers, nuts. In college.. .and maybe a few weeks ago, I have snuck beer in.... We actually have a theater here in Clearwater that is a bar and theater in one, but I've never been, I should really think about it though. we always crap out on our date nights (which are every other Friday when my mom takes the baby). We're so tired all the time, the other night we ate at Joe's crab shack, came home, had a glass of wine, watched loss and fell asleep on the sofa...

Last edited by baindegael; 07-15-2007 at 05:09 PM..
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Old 07-15-2007, 05:04 PM   #49
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And as far as journaling my jouney on the weight loss road, I've been eating slowly and waiting for my stomach to tell me when I'm done. I've noticed taht I'm usually taking a breathe and then my stomach is full, I put down the fork at that moment (unless it's Cracker Barrel bacon and then, dammit, I will prevail!). Waht a difference in what I eat, I'm not a part of the clean plate club anymore. When I first started LC, I was doing this, I don't know when I lost it, but I'm glad to be cognizant of it again.
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Old 07-20-2007, 04:29 PM   #50
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Hello from beautiful Fire Island! I've had a lovely day, but am still wicked pale, thanks SPF 45! How is everything going?

xoxo <3
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Old 07-21-2007, 07:20 AM   #51
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busy, I'm still forcing a daily workout and soemtimes it's inconvenient, but I really do like it and how I feel now. WE're on our way to a business picnic.... I made LC jalape˝o poppers... and I had to test one.... YUM!!!!

what's going on at Fire Island? I'm pale... well, I'm a real redhead
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Old 07-21-2007, 04:09 PM   #52
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Ugh, it's so great, but rather depressing b/c when I originally planned the trip, Dolly was coming, and yesterday we cruised over to The Pines (swanky gay neighborhood) and she would have LOVED it, the architecture of the houses would have really pleased her. I keep thinking of her. Nobody knows anything about fire island, even in the north east, so I'd imagine you don't either. There are different neighborhoods, our house is in Ocean Beach. The Pines is the famous area that defines fire island to those who have heard of it. The boys are beautiful, tan, drunk, and fabulous, and so is the real estate. One of my dad's clients picked us up in his boat for a day trip over to The Pines. I'm rambling, I'm drunk.

I'm here with my parents and my cousin Rachel. My sugar-free mojitos are a HIT! And I've devised a super simple ghetto version of the SF mojitos: muddle some mint in a pint glass with about 2 inches of bacardi, then add a few ice cubes and a can of diet sierra mist. Ghetto! Delicious!

Not so pale anymore! I'll send you a photo! (actually, the photo is from this morning, so I was still pale then too, but I'm making progress by now!) My mom loaned me a bikini, I'm trying to get some sun on my tummy now. I definitely am burned in patches and white in patches... you know how it goes. I'm hot & skinny. My cousin said I look like an Olsen Twin. I asked which one, and she said Ashley, so, good news! ha ha. Then she said I look like her sister, who is korean, to compliment my tan. It's funny, I swear.

Hi, I'm drunk & online on my beach vacation. What's wrong with me?! We're going to have dinner at a great restaurant at the dock of the bay, timed to watch the sun set... aaaah, vacation! I miss her.

xoxo
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Old 07-22-2007, 07:38 AM   #53
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ah, I'm ready for another vacation! lol

That sounds like fun and my friend makes a very similar mojito actually.

I'm going to run, but I'll be back in a bit...
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Old 07-23-2007, 12:18 AM   #54
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Saw her tonight. she says I look sick. she says everyone says I look sick. she says i'm gross and I don't eat. I *do* eat! I eat all the time! I eat every day! I told her I'm eating the same as I always did. I said I'm as fast as H, the fastest skater, she said I'm gross for saying that. But I am as fast as H now! She like, refuses to acknowledge that.

She's here in the apt. I think she might split the August rent! She's moving out July 30, she's taking the hamper she bought me as a gift, what a b****. My hamper! She's taking my butcher block too, which her parents bought for our kitchen. Why does she even want my little butcher block? It was always for me. She's taking the dresser we scavenged from her old apartment (it was left behind.) I mean, I guess she has more of a right to that stuff than I do, but it just seems mean. She doesn't even have anywhere to move to. My hamper! it was a gift!

I'm not going to see her between now and July 30, either. She's going to meet with her team tomorrow to try to talk them out of going to the big upcoming tournament at all. Then I guess I'll never see her again.
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Old 07-25-2007, 07:20 AM   #55
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When I got back from fire island (monday am) I was 141. But I'm back to 136 now. I'm soliciting compliments on my bikini photos in the main lobby. It makes me feel validated and good.
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Old 07-26-2007, 03:55 AM   #56
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I thought you looked awesome....

I am still not losing and it's really starting to piss me off....
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Old 07-26-2007, 01:32 PM   #57
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ugh, that sucks! Want to talk about what you're eating and we can try to sort it out together?
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Old 07-26-2007, 06:14 PM   #58
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sure... in the am 2 HB eggs
lunch 4 to 5 oz protein
2 cups salad
dinner 4-5 oz protein and a cup of salad

some nights, instead of salad, I take three lettuce leaves and make a turkey sandwich with them..and a gallon of water.... and that's what I eat pretty much every day. in the am, two cups of coffee, which I'm going to stop, bc I think I'm getting an ulcer..... sorry, reeeeeeallly long, bad day at work.
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Old 07-27-2007, 03:06 PM   #59
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I had a really long, bad day at work too. Like awful, which never happens, but it was probably mostly because I was hung over and exhausted. There's nothing a sweet baby can throw at me that can upset me, it's all about what I bring to work with me, and I know it.

If that's what you're eating, then there's no explanation about why your weight won't budge. Maybe one thing you can try is just eating different stuff, like if you always eat chicken, switch your protein to fish, just to shake things up. Switch from salad to cooked broccoli. I don't know, I'm grasping at straws. What you wrote is obviously a great menu, fine and good, it should work.

I eat a lot of garbage. SF iced tea all the time, coffee all the time, processed meats all the time (sausage, bacon.) I'd drink diet soda all the time, but I refuse to spend money on it. If it was free at work I'd be all over that, too. I know I'm lucky. I have no intention of cutting the crap, I'm just mentioning it.

Do you have any good plans for the weekend?
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Old 07-28-2007, 06:54 AM   #60
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when I was smaller the 1st time, I ate a lot of processed meats and whatnot, then I fell off the wagon and this time around, my body is a lot more sensitive.... I switch my food around a lot actually. meh, what can I do? I don't want to get bigger, so I'll just keep doing this. My biggest fear is turning into my mother, or the older women at work. They are obese and riding a scooter bc tehy can't work, have a handicap sticker, and in the case of my mom, only turning 60 this year. I want to be a crabby, fully walking and able to still do yoga 60 year old, you know?

We're on our way out the door actually, we're going to start school shopping... and we may stop by to say hello to May's new car, she just bought a 2001 VW Beetle, but the paperwork isn't all done yet, so it's not in our posession... I'm so excited!!!
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