Bella's Life by the Sea Journal

[jtinker]

Originally Posted by BellaHMB

Any more thoughts on that? Wait...maybe Im the other woman? The "new" me....He said that this woman was determined to destroy me, and what we had. Now Im thinking more....

Bella

wow sorry to post again, but reading this , to me it seems like your DH didn't know how strong you were, didn't know you could accomplish what you have, it seems like he's the one feeling a little venerable right now,.. enjoy you day.........

[BellaHMB]

Thanks for your thoughts.... I truly appreciate them!

I lead women's groups professionally as well as my counseling practice,
and I know dh John does see me as being powerful. I first thought that
this female image was his own anima, the Jungian term for the female
spirit that all men have inside of them. (women have the animus, the male archetype). The young maiden (which was what the woman looked like, beautiful and innocent) may be his own anima which is not fully mature,
and the dark or shadow side of that archetype is neediness and manipulation
(referred to here a couple of posts ago). When we marry, our internal masculine and feminine find a match in it each other so attraction occurs.
Apparently he is somewhat threatened by me in terms of power (which doesnt surprise me- he had a very negative mother himself) but is not aware of it.
(In the dream he was straightening the covers of the bed and his hand got stuck then she appeared, rising up....he tried to get away but was afraid he couldnt).

Thanks for listening to my process

Bella

[jtinker]

you welcome, sometimes its easy for us to see things in others . but when it come to ourselves we cant see it untill someone says. ( you know what ) i have to say i agree with you 100 % ..but i think once he see your the same person you were before. just a lot thinner, he'll be fine, I'm just glad your feeling better about it, and know it's not you. have a good day ,,, how was your party? hope all went well. Joan

[Livywilltim-mom]

Victoria,

I was away from the computer yesterday, but pray that your day was just glorious yesterday, and that you and Holly really had a blessed time.

Hugs!

[BellaHMB]

Thankyou! We had a lovely time! Im including a photo of Holly wearing the robe I gave her- isnt she adorable? The circle of women was very wonderful and powerful and I am blessed to have her in my life.

On the food front, Im having to watch how much fruit I eat. I need to continue to eat it in a very careful way- strawberries cut up in my cottage cheese for example. I am finding that Im starting to snack a little- and that has to stop! Not sure if I will buy more Fiber cereal as I really like it and its easy to grab a nugget and that will add up in carbs. Better I think to add the little sprinking of oatmeal. Always a work in progress!

Today's quote: Focus!

Bella Victoria

[Livywilltim-mom]

Oh, thanks for sharing the picture...YES, she is adorable, and looks so happy Aren't the women we are blessed to have in our lives so fantastic! I am happy for you that you have each other.

Peace

[jtinker]

so glad to hear you had a great time,
lovely pic. thanks for sharing,,,,, Joan

[BellaHMB]

June 25th

Good morning!

Well Im one tired cookie after my busy weekend but it went very well.
Im heading to the gym this morning after taking off 2 days in a row! I havent
done that since January but I really needed it. Im ready to work out again.

Next Friday my dh and I are going camping for the weekend so we are going to start planning today. A low carb weekend!

I did really well last night at dinner- ordered the mixed grill and it came with lamb, pork, chicken and veggies, all grilled! And no sauce
I even declined gracefully a dessert which the owner brought to our table!

Today's quote: Compassion is the Key to an Open Heart.

Bella

[BellaHMB]

JUne 26th

Well for those of you who read about my dh's dream a few nights back, I have a story for you! When we were in Marin at my client's house, after I had finished with the group I asked for a place to rest before we went out to dinner. She, dh and I went upstairs and to the guest room which had to my amazement a day bed in it just like in his dream! I stayed and rested and while I was asleep they and some others hung out in the backyard where apparently she was a little overly friendly to my husband! He later told me about it, and said that when he saw that "twinkle" in her eyes he started pulling in his friendliness a bit! Now the interesting thing is that she and her husband were let us say partiers in their younger days which included a bit of the sexual revolution Marin life style if you know what I mean, so she has always been pretty flirty. I like her, and it didnt bother me as I thought my dh handled it really well (and he is afterall very cute) but when we talked about it I said honey, your dream was about this!

I could go on about the symbolism in the dream and how the "witch" is the shadow side of the innocent maiden (innocence and "lust") but suffice it to say that it all matched up.

Today's quote: Be patient and the truth shall be revealed

On a food note, Im doing well and still keeping track of everything. My loss has slowed alot, and in the past 4 weeks since hitting goal I lost 6 pounds.

Bye for now!
Bella V

[Livywilltim-mom]

[quote=BellaHMB;8825538]JUne 26th


Today's quote: Be patient and the truth shall be revealed

Hmmmmm, loved to read the story of your "rest time" and LOVE your quote...can I steal it for today??

Have a terrific Tuesday!

Jaimie

[jtinker]

wow what a story. you handled it really well.
I do feel sorry for woman who feel so inadequate that the only way they can communicate with men is to flirt. hope you DH is feeling better about the whole thing,,,

[BellaHMB]

I think my dh was relieved that I wasnt mad and that there isnt a problem with my client! She isnt looking that well actually, and I am not threatened at all. Now dont get me wrong, I can be a tiger when it comes to defending my man! But in this case it was no harm done.

Bella

[magnamater]

Victoria, your weight loss since you started maintenence is about the equivilent of WW or other diets!!!!!!

You are doing so well!

LOLOLOL about the followup on your dream. Very interesting. . .and I agree you did handle the whole thing well!

Janie

[BellaHMB]

Janie,

REALLY? wow. Im going to have to think on that...!

Victoria

[BellaHMB]

June 27th.

Down to 143. Wow! The last time this happened I was 23 and that was SOME time ago

Yesterday I received a Travelsmith coat I ordered, medium. I could probably fit into the small. Another wow! I decided to keep it since I can layer under it, but it was very cute and Im happy.

Worked this morning, then refocused on the camping trip again.

Off to the gym!

Today's quote: Don't forget to enjoy life!

Victoria

[BellaHMB]

Tuesday July 3rd

Took a little camping break but now Im back!

Today's quote: Love Yourself

I had a good time camping but I realized that the eating plan was very
hard to execute primarily when I had ALOT of time on my hands. I think
I keep busy when I get hungry, and it's very easy to snack when you
are sitting around, or even going on a river walk and cant take much
besides almonds and some string cheese. I have to admit, I wished in
those moments that I could eat anything, but then I noticed how much
better I feel than when I was heavier and it's all worth it.

My dh and I got along well except for once when I asked him to go get the firewood and he was reading- he had been for an hour but was still disruntled about being interrupted. GEEEZ! I dont get it..... But that was a few days ago
and Im letting go of it, kindof

Bella

[BellaHMB]

July 4th

What a great day! Im not patriotic per se, but Im celebrating my freedom from 68 lbs!! WOOHOOOO!!

Today's quote: You Go Girl!

Bella

[Fifi]

Hi, Bella Victoria! Just love that quote! I just finished a round of Kimmer's Experiment which, as you probably know, is low carb/high protein/low cal. I had success and now I am moving back to Atkins 72.

On your advice I am also using Fitday - today it said 1700 calories / 16 carbs (total, not net). I'm concerned about the calories. I think since I have struggled just to get here, I need to watch the calories, too. I know you had your success with 800 - 1000.

Any thought would be appreciated!

[BellaHMB]

Fifi

How about posting your menu?

Bella

[Fifi]

Sure, Bella:

B - scrambled eggs, 2 slices very thin bacon

L - same

D - baked chicken breast (plain), 2 cups lettuce, 3 T ceasar dressing

S - low carb ice cream treat (3 carbs, 100 cals)

Thanks for taking the time!

[BellaHMB]

Hi

Where are the 1700 calories coming from?

Bella

[Fifi]

After I read your question, I went back to Fitday to find out. It had listed 459 calories for each of my scrambled egg entries because I chose "from dry eggs."

NOW I am down to 1100 calories for the day! MUCH BETTER!

Bella ~ thank you for being patient and understanding! You would not think that I have a post-graduate degree when I can't even figure out my own stats! LOL

The menu seems reasonable, would you say? I know I need to be careful with the LC treat, but it helps me stay satisfied.

[BellaHMB]

Great!

How long have you been on your plan?

Bella

[Fifi]

Well, since a week ago Thursday I did K/E (low carb/high protein/low cal) had GREAT success, and didn't suffer too much. By Monday I was ready to get back to atkins 72 and did so yesterday by having salad and yummy steak.

[BellaHMB]

Fifi,
It sounds like you are finding what works for you. Give it time and patience!

Bella

[BellaHMB]

Friday July 6th

Today's quote: Get a good night sleep and things will look better in the morning!

Last night I was up late after a LONG discussion with my husband about
intimate matters. It went well, but basically he was sharing that he is 60
and cant quite keep up with my 52 yr old enthusiasm Funny!
Anyway, I wasnt feeling too great about that but then realized how wonderful and loving he is, and also amazing. So this morning Im trying to keep it all in perspective.

And on that topic, isnt perspective really important? We sometimes lose sight of it and this is esp. true with the diet process. Each day we step on the scale and if it wavers one iota up and even stays stable then the emotional reaction can be I AM FAILING! Of course that is rarely true if one is really sticking to plan! It's really important to keep looking at the bigger picture while also looking at the details of everyday choice. Now that is the key!

Everyone have a great day, Im off to work now.

Bella Victoria

[jtinker]

Hi

Just popped in to say hi and see how your doing, It looks like you doing really well.

The bigger picture .. Yes this is what keeps me going. I cant set small goals. I always need to look at the bigger picture. have a great day Joan

[BellaHMB]

Good morning and good to see you again Joan!

Im reevaluating my weight loss goals as I seem to have alot of emotional issues coming up lately. I was thinking last night that I need to psychologically reorient myself now- I believe Ive used my weight as a shield against many things and now that it's not there, I have some pretty intense
feelings coming up, not all the time oc, but enough. Since I work in the therapy field, maybe it's time to visit my own therapist.

I wonder if there is anything written on this?

Not sure about today's quote....maybe later.

Bella