My journey to a new me.

[Cryssi]

OK, here we go again. Tomorrow is the big day. I am starting low carb for the gawd knows how many-ieth time, and I am scared to death to get on the scale to see how much my starting weight is. Nor am I looking forward to the sugar withdrawls for the first few days too (I KNOW Mike isn't! )

I really want to do well on this, this time. I am so tired of being fat. I want to be thin and healthy. I want to have confidence. I want to feel like the beautiful person my husband says he see me as. I want to be able to run and play with our future kids and not have to sit it out "because Mommy's back hurts" or "Mommy is just too tired".

I know I can do this. I have coworkers who are low-carbing to help keep me accountable. I have a loving, caring husband who will give up anything and do anything in his power to help me succeed this time.

Tomorrows menu plan:
B: hard-boiled eggs
L: salad with grilled chicken
D: grilled steaks and asparagus
S: pepperoni, cheese, cucumbers.

I think my biggest down fall is if I mess up, even the tiniest bit, I convince myself I can't do it, and throw it all away. I have to realize that I am not perfect, and I will make mistakes in all aspects of my life, including my food choices. I need to just get my but right back on track and continue to move forward instead of spiraling out of control like every other time.

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. I WILL DO THIS.

[hawkwife]

Hope you don't mind me visiting...good luck!!! You can do this!!!

Jen

[Cryssi]

Hi Jen,

No I don't mind at all. Thanks for stopping by and for the well wishes.

[Cryssi]

So far so good this morning. Granted, I have only been awake for about an hour, but none the less, I am on my 4th glass of water and my breakfast was fried mozzarella and pepperoni. I boiled some eggs for snacks/breakfast throughout the week.

I am very unhappy with what I saw on the scale this morning. 280 When I left MO after breaking up with XBF I was at 297. I got al the way down to 260. So that means I have gained back a lot of the weight I lost when I moved from MO to CA a year and a half ago. Not good.

Oh well, I am going to try not to beat myself up about it, and just move forward from where I am today.

I will check back in later today.

[Cryssi]

Evening check in. I bought one of those cast iron grill pan thingys to make our steaks on since we aren't allowed bbqs. The kitchen is a HUGE mess now. Lucky for me, I cook, Mike cleans

accountability for today:
b-mozzarella and pepperoni
l-salad greens, 5 grape tomatoes, 1/4c bell pepper, 5 cucumber slices, 1 hb egg, 4 green olives, caesar dressing, parm cheese
s-1 stalk celery with cream cheese
d-steak, asaragus, hollandaise sauce

got 6 glasses of water in so far. No diet soda yet, I will not allow it till I get my water in, otherwise I don't drink enough.

Day one has been awesome!

Not looking forward to tomorrow's sugar withdrawls though

[Cryssi]

I am off to a fabulous start. Yesterday I didn't post because I had that "day 2 of induction and I feel like crap" thing going on, but I stayed on plan

Yesterday I had scrambled eggs with smoked sausage and cheese, mozzarella and pepperoni and 1/2 cucumber and 1/2 bell pepper.

I know I didn't eat nearly enough but I jsut felt icky and didn't want to eat.

So of course I was starving this morning. I stopped at the gas station on the way to work and got almonds and pork rinds. For lunch I packed leftover steak and a small salad with caesar. Pickles for a snack. For dinner Mike wants spaghetti, so I will be taking a few of the italian sausage links that would normally go into the sauce for me and sauteeing up peppers and onions to go with it.

I feel much better today, thank goodness. I HATE sugar withdrawl and the induction ickies!

I also had a very nice member of this site PM me and ask if I wanted to be weighloss buddies I have never had one, nor has she, so we're learning together.

I am really looking forward to having someone to confide in. Mike is extremely supportive and backs me 100%, but there I feel this person can offer added support in the way that we are going through this together so she will be able to understand any trials and tribualtions that I go through on a different level.

[Cutelilsunflower]

You're doing great, Cryssi!! 5 lbs is amazing!! You'll be back to 260 soon and then lower...and lower... and lower KUTGW!!

[Cryssi]

Originally Posted by Cutelilsunflower

You're doing great, Cryssi!! 5 lbs is amazing!! You'll be back to 260 soon and then lower...and lower... and lower KUTGW!!

Thanks Bree!

I have never felt as confident about sticking with this as I am this time around. I am excied about getting to goal!

[Cryssi]

I had a heck of a time with lunch today. Not because I wanted to cheat, but because I just didn't want to eat. I ended up eating 2 pickles.

Dinner was fantabulous! I decided I didn't want sausage with peppers and onions, so I fried up a couple of hamburgers and made a quick pan gravy with the drippings and a splash of cream.

It was yummy.

I am on glass 8 of water. My goal is to eventually get to my 8 glasses a day plus 1 for every 25 pounds I want to lose, so for right now that would be 14 glasses.

[Cryssi]

Haven't checked in in a few day...been busy. Everything is still awesomely on plan.

overslept a little because the *(#&%#%& bathroom sink was leaking AGAIN, and we were up late mopping up all the water and sorting through all the stuff that got ruined AGAIN under the sink. It took TWO hours for EMERGENCY maintenance to come. I am so sick of that gawd forsaken apartment. Mike feels horrible because he is the one that scouted it out and I liked it.

I told him first of all, its not his fault, he had no way to know their maintenance sucked and if he had, he would have never allowed us to move there and second of all, I love our apartment and our home and life together I am just sick of having to fight maintenance all the time.

I sent a not so nice email to their corporate office letting them know that a)I want a call back to discuss this issue and b) if they keep this crap up, I am prepared to look into what my legal options are.

Mike had to work 13 hours yesterday because the engineer guy in the construction yard is a jerk and gave him a HUGE order to pull (Mike is Inventory manager) at 1:45, when he is supposed to get off at 2:30.

The dog was just an all around PITA yesterday when normally she is good. she got into the trash and shredded everything, ate my $65 dress shoes, would not leave the cat alone for anything, wouldn't listen when we would take her outside

Oh, also yesterday I found out that XH wrote a bad check on our old account like 4 years ago and since he is in Mexico and CA is a community property state, they are gonna make me pay the $425 I have to call them today and arrange payments, hopefully they won't be complete asses about what we can afford ($100/month).

I told Mike I should just go off plan because Hamburger Helper and Mac and Cheese is waaaayyyyy cheaper than meat and fresh veggies. He said "NO, you have wanted this for so long and have done so well this last week, I am not letting you give up. We will do whatever it takes to figure out how to make it work." Gawd I love him

At any rate that was my yesterday in a nutshell.

Today was awesome.

My accountability:
b-peanuts
l-2 bunless hotdogs 1/2 bunless hamburger (it was yucky)
d-hot wings w/ ranch (mike wanted pizza, so I got 1/2 bucket of wings (22 wings) with the plan of saving some for lunch tomorrow but they were small and really yummy so I ate them all )

The apartment is knocking $50 off our rent for the inconvenience and the ruining of my hair dryer, toilet paper and soap, not a lot but I will take it. I spoke with the new manager who seems really nice and on top of her game...time will tell.

The check people are gonna let me make payments of $140 a month, didn't even have to fight them, and since XH wrote the check and I no longer live in CA, I don't have to take the stupid class.

[Cryssi]

Well today was my official weigh-in for the week. Down 7 pounds. I of course would like to loose 100 or so in a week, but I'll take 7

This week was awesome, I did not cheat once. That in itself is a huge accomplishment for me, as I have always cheated here and there in my past tries at this.

Tomorrow our bedroom set is being delivered. I am very excited as I am so tried of the *(#$%*$^ cat putting holes in the air mattress. Plus, my back will be happier on a firm mattres too.

That's it for now, I gotta get some stuff done.

[Msushelly]

Sounds like you've had a bad week with the sink, dog and bill collector . But...congrats on the weight loss . I like to binge when I'm under stress. Good to know that someone else has the backbone to stick with it. Keep it up!

[Cryssi]

Originally Posted by Msushelly

Sounds like you've had a bad week with the sink, dog and bill collector . But...congrats on the weight loss . I like to binge when I'm under stress. Good to know that someone else has the backbone to stick with it. Keep it up!

Hi Msushelly,

Thanks for stopping by. I tend to eat during stress as well. I have gone off plan many times in the past because of it.

This time around though, I want this bad paired with I have a very loving supportive husband so I have been able to stick with it this time around.

[lisamoran]

You are doing so wonderfully so far! That is awesome!

[Cryssi]

Originally Posted by lisamoran

You are doing so wonderfully so far! That is awesome!

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for stopping by!

[Cryssi]

Well today I hand about a handful of fries with our burgers for lunch. It was bad, I knew it and did it anyway.

I have been feeling a little discouraged with gaining a little back because of TOM. No more. I am getting back on track right now!

[Cryssi]

I was bad. I had 8 packages (rolls) of smarties, then threw them up becase I felt guilty. Now I want more

I dunno. I did so well the first week, had a few french fries this weekend and then the smarties.

I have got to get my butt in gear. I want to be skinny and pretty so bad. I HATE looking at myself in the mirror because I feel so fat and ugly.

I did this before when I had no support at all, and now I have a wonderful PM weightloss buddy, a wonderful husband, people at work who are doing it and I can't seem to stick with it. What the hell is wrong with me?

I am going to get back on track and start posting in here daily. I think that really helps keep me accountable.

For dinner I am having 2 bunless cheesburgers and brussel sprouts.

[Cryssi]

Missed posting yesterday. I did good though

Today is going great as well. Been peeing every 5 minutes from all the water I am drinking, but at least I am getting my water in

[HAB]

Hiya Cryssi.
Glad to see you are here and not letting a few small setbacks get you down. You're doing awesome so far, you can do this!

[Cryssi]

Originally Posted by HAB

Hiya Cryssi.
Glad to see you are here and not letting a few small setbacks get you down. You're doing awesome so far, you can do this!

Hi Hab,

Thanks for stopping by and the encouragement

[Cryssi]

I did a good job today.

b-pickles
l-cauliflower with cheese
d-sausage with peppers and onions

I had better lose weight tomorrow dammit cause this is really starting to frustrate me.

We are going to CA this weekend to get the rest of our stuff. I can't wait.