From Wheelchair to Tae-Bo...

[FaithM.]

Marci! I know I embarrass DH sometimes the way I speak up when I am PO'd. He would much rather just keep the peace and well, so would I but there are times when it is just impossible for me to bite my tongue!

It's interesting but I never considered how difficult improving self image would be. I had naturally assumed that once I lost "this much" weight or when I got to "that weight" I would be this confident, outgoing person and be treated with more respect but now I can see I was just living in a dream world. I have had to remind myself there will always be somebody out there trying to make us feel inferior over something or other. I really need to work on not letting certain people and circumstances get to me so much.

I am still struggling with certain male issues beginning from way back to how I have been treated in general by them. It may take me a lifetime to get over many of them. I still deep down think I am not "good enough". DH has been that bright light and blessing in my life. He has helped me to change my perception of myself for the better. As you can see though I still have a long ways to go.

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Tracey40

Ya - what she said! It does take time, you are not that person anymore. Hey maybe that guy was staring because he thought you did something in your pants! You know, that smirk like I know what you did?

Ya know, I'd never even thought of that! You're probably right. I mean, it was obvious DH had been looking for something and if we'd realized that guy had been sitting there we'd have not even done it. Still creepy though. By the time DH had come back out the "joke" had been long over. That dude needs to seriously get a life!!

Oh, a pic of me?? I will give it some thought. When I get around to scanning my before and afters then figure out how to downsize them, I will post some in here. I'm a bit chicken to do it though.

[FaithM.]

I have been feeling a bit uncomfortable and exposed at how I went off on those entries last night. I didn't really mean to get quite so emotional and spill the way I did. Just that I'd held it all bottled inside for so long I just let loose. I want to be able to hold my temper and emotions in check and I have never been very good at that sort of thing but here I am folks...the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, and everything in between!

I had a rough day getting back into gear. I am already feeling the effects of the detox and it isn't pretty! I am seriously gonna be paying for letting myself get out of sync again. It makes me wonder why I do this to myself, knowing how rough it is, shocking my system by constantly putting it thru the whole withdrawal process!

My plan of action for getting back on track:

*basic Atkins
**30-40 minute workout at least 5 days a week
***no eating past 7 pm except maybe an Atkins shake if I get to feeling too desperate
****absolutely, positively NO cheating!!

Friday's Menu:

Brunch -- 2 deviled egg halves/bacon bits
grilled chicken/ranch
2 celery stalks/cream cheese

S -- 2 sl. american cheese
2 sl. liver cheese luncheon meat
deviled egg half

D -- grilled chicken salad/ranch
1 sl. american cheese

S -- turkey-mayo rollups

Right now: spoonfulls of pb somebody please kick me now!!

BEVS:
water
2 coffees w/cream & splenda
1.5 diet RB

WORKOUT? N

[mmam5]

Originally Posted by FaithM.

Ya know, I'd never even thought of that! You're probably right. I mean, it was obvious DH had been looking for something and if we'd realized that guy had been sitting there we'd have not even done it. Still creepy though. By the time DH had come back out the "joke" had been long over. That dude needs to seriously get a life!!

Oh, a pic of me?? I will give it some thought. When I get around to scanning my before and afters then figure out how to downsize them, I will post some in here. I'm a bit chicken to do it though.

You know just taking the pictures of you now and comparing them to your befores, may make you feel better on the whole... you know - a photo is worth a thousand words... You may be able to better see how very far you have come!

PS - You don't have show us your pictures until you're truly ready

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by mmam5

You know just taking the pictures of you now and comparing them to your befores, may make you feel better on the whole... you know - a photo is worth a thousand words... You may be able to better see how very far you have come!

PS - You don't have show us your pictures until you're truly ready

Oh, I've done so many times, pulling out old pics, and is positively one of the things that has kept me going.

One of these days I will let you guys see them! Maybe I'm afraid somebody who knows me will see them and go and

I am paranoid, lol!

[FaithM.]

Detox has been totally kicking my butt! All day I felt so lethargic and had a headache so rotten I broke down and took a couple of Motrin. I just couldn't see myself going the rest of the day not functioning at all so I had to do something. Also, didn't abide by my 7 pm cut-off time. At the moment I am needing to focus more on getting through induction/detox and regaining some of my energy before working on evening calorie restriction.

Here is Saturday's Menu:

Brunch -- 2 deviled egg halves
homemade chicken-veggie soup
celery stalk/cream cheese

S -- 3 sl. liver cheese lunch meat
1 sl. american cheese

S -- grilled chicken/ranch

D -- pizza toppings/ranch
celery stalk/cream cheese

S -- 2 sl. american cheese
deviled egg half

S -- 2 spoons pb

BEVS:
water
2 coffees w/cream & splenda
diet RB & cream "float"
grn tea packets (2)

WORKOUT? N

That Chicken-Veggie Soup I made was from a recipe I got out of Woman's World several years ago and it's one of my favorites. Makes enough for several servings and I can stretch it out over a few days. Basically, it includes:

chopped onion
zucchini
yellow squash
.5 pkg. frozen spinach
canned diced tomatoes, low sodium
2 cans chicken
2 cans low sodium chicken broth

YUM!

[AuntieMame]

I am really glad you shared all those feelings. It's really hard to do.

It looks like you are back on track. WTG!
Induction Flu is . <shiver> You should be on the mend. :crossing fingers:

That soup looks yummy! I'm going to have to copy it.

Have a great day!!

[Blondie Baby]

Faith - glad your back! And totally understand your stress! It isn't easy taking a family as large yours (or mine) on vacation. Most of the time its vacation for them and WORK for us!!!! And yeah, that family that stole your table would have gotten an earful from me - very loudly!!!!!

As for people staring - I don't know what it is - maybe their parents never taught them any manners or maybe they are just RUDE but I hate people who stare! And we get stared at ALOT!!!! For some reason in this part of the world people don't seem to think that a blonde white woman should be with a black man. And they STARE - all the time!!!! But what's worse - they will talk about us in Arabic thinking neither of us understand! BF is a local national so he is fluent in Arabic and I have been here damn near 15 years - yeah I understand Arabic!!!! But you know what Faith - screw them and their prejudices! You ( and I) are no ones business but our own! They are the ones with the problem NOT YOU!!! You are an amazing, strong, wonderful woman - they are staring at you because they are JEALOUS!!!!!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by AuntieMame

I am really glad you shared all those feelings. It's really hard to do.

It looks like you are back on track. WTG!
Induction Flu is . <shiver> You should be on the mend. :crossing fingers:

That soup looks yummy! I'm going to have to copy it.

Have a great day!!

Hey there Girl!

It is extremely difficult sharing this much of myself, indeed. Not that I am an obsessively private person but I tend to ramble and then wonder if I am being a little too open.

On that recipe: I will try and jot down the basic recipe for ya! I misplaced the exact one so I pretty much go by memory.

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Blondie Baby

Faith - glad your back! And totally understand your stress! It isn't easy taking a family as large yours (or mine) on vacation. Most of the time its vacation for them and WORK for us!!!! And yeah, that family that stole your table would have gotten an earful from me - very loudly!!!!!

As for people staring - I don't know what it is - maybe their parents never taught them any manners or maybe they are just RUDE but I hate people who stare! And we get stared at ALOT!!!! For some reason in this part of the world people don't seem to think that a blonde white woman should be with a black man. And they STARE - all the time!!!! But what's worse - they will talk about us in Arabic thinking neither of us understand! BF is a local national so he is fluent in Arabic and I have been here damn near 15 years - yeah I understand Arabic!!!! But you know what Faith - screw them and their prejudices! You ( and I) are no ones business but our own! They are the ones with the problem NOT YOU!!! You are an amazing, strong, wonderful woman - they are staring at you because they are JEALOUS!!!!!

Thank you, Maryam, for your kind, sweet words! It is just pathetic how some people have the nerve to point fingers for any reason whatsoever, regardless of appearance, social stature, etc. It makes no sense, with the world full of such a diverse group of people, you would think there would be a whole lot more tolerance! So very frustrating! I am tired of trying to figure people out.

I feel for you in your situation too. Do you ever shock them by coming back with something quick-witted in Arabic? Maybe that'll shut them up!

[FaithM.]

Here is a basic recipe for the soup I made in case anyone else is interested. I don't have exact measurements on anything so it can be seasoned to taste as needed:

Homemade Chicken-Veggie Soup

*olive oil
*1 med. fresh zucchini, peeled & thinly sliced
*1 med. fresh yellow squash, peeled & thinly sliced
*1 sm. onion, diced
*fresh clove garlic or garlic powder
*2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes, no salt added
*about 5 oz. frozen spinach, thawed & drained
*2 (10 oz) cans white meat chicken, drained (may use fresh, if desired)
*2 or 3 (14 oz) cans low sodium chicken broth, (depending on how chunky you like it)

In large pot, add in just enough olive oil to barely cover bottom, heat on medium with fresh garlic or garlic powder. Once hot, sautee onion, zucchini, & squash in oil until nearly transparent. Add in tomatoes, broth, drained chicken, and spinach. Bring to boil over medium heat then simmer 25-30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Leftovers can be frozen for later too.

Hopefully this is clear cut enough and not too complicated.

[Blondie Baby]

Originally Posted by FaithM.

I feel for you in your situation too. Do you ever shock them by coming back with something quick-witted in Arabic? Maybe that'll shut them up!

My BF always DOES!!!! And you should see the shocked looks on some people faces!!! They get so embarassed and say something like "I'm sorry, I didn't know you could speak Arabic!" That still doesn't make it Okay to talk about people and stare at them! Mostly I just laugh it off because it cracks me up when BF embarasses them!!!!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Blondie Baby

My BF always DOES!!!! And you should see the shocked looks on some people faces!!! They get so embarassed and say something like "I'm sorry, I didn't know you could speak Arabic!" That still doesn't make it Okay to talk about people and stare at them! Mostly I just laugh it off because it cracks me up when BF embarasses them!!!!

Good for him! They are only sorry they were found out, not sorry for being narrow minded twits. Either way, it's like you said, nothing makes it right. I really can't stand intolerant people. *sigh*

It's more that I simply get frustrated with people in general. I can partially understand and even put up with certain attitudes out of young children or teenagers. Grown adults though, it's like, "Uh, you are not 14 anymore, this isn't high school, and it's not okay anymore to act juvenile nor to think the world revolves around you!"

[FaithM.]

Today, felt a little bit better. No headache but I still tired easily. I managed to get in a workout this afternoon after going for groceries. I knew I'd feel better at least doing something other than lying around half passed out. My energy level was up and down so one minute I'd feel like pushing myself, the next I wouldn't. Oh well, I know I'll be feeling more myself after a few days.

Sunday's Menu:

Brunch -- deviled egg half
grilled tilapia fillet

S -- 1 sl. american cheese

D -- rotisserie chicken salad
ranch/bacon bits/cheddar

S -- sf pb cups
pb (I am making the peanut industry rich )

S -- rotisserie chicken, plain

BEVS:
water
3 coffees w/cream & splenda
grn tea packets (3)

WORKOUT? Y...walking treadmill...35 min.
Dance Dance Revolution w/DD

I've been hesitating to put down my weight because I am sick with how I let myself fall so easily out of control. But anyway, I was 178 when we left on vacation, 181 when we got back. This morning I was 185! This is me getting my butt kicked:

[mmam5]

Originally Posted by Blondie Baby

My BF always DOES!!!! And you should see the shocked looks on some people faces!!! They get so embarassed and say something like "I'm sorry, I didn't know you could speak Arabic!" That still doesn't make it Okay to talk about people and stare at them! Mostly I just laugh it off because it cracks me up when BF embarasses them!!!!

Hee hee - That's one of the reasons I want my kids to learn Spanish!

Maryam - After seeing your beautiful picture and your BF's - Personally I'd be staring cuze you two make a Handsome Couple!

Faith - Yep - not HS anymore... Get over it and get a life! When we lived in South Florida, there were so many people of so many backgrounds it was awesome. Now we're in whitie white NE WI, attitudes have certainly changed in the 12 years we've been here, little by little they are changing for the better. More diverse, which is great to see in the schools.

Ya know - this warm weather makes it hard to find ambition to get off our butts too... Was 80 this weekend when we did our run... my mind just wanted to go back home and shut all the windows!!!

[Tracey40]

Faith - it's hard to put ourselves our there, to say our true feelings, but I think it helps to keep us on track. And honey, your feelings are never any that we all haven't experienced, so dont worry! Talk it out, get it out!

You are doing great, you keep trying and really thats what matters. At some point it will just click. Ok, so I'm hoping that for me too!

Step away from the PB! (had to laugh though because it sounds so good!) Your menus are looking great, and don't worry about overeating while getting back into it, just make it legal! I just started re-reading the book also (Atkins - original book from 1972) and I think it helps to keep me motivated, among other things!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by mmam5

Maryam - After seeing your beautiful picture and your BF's - Personally I'd be staring cuze you two make a Handsome Couple!

ITA on that one! One good lookin' family and that is a fact

Marci, I hear ya on the warm weather having its affect on us. It seems doubly hard to get motivated sometimes when it is sweltering outside.

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Tracey40

You are doing great, you keep trying and really thats what matters. At some point it will just click. Ok, so I'm hoping that for me too!

Thank you! I certainly hope so! Truly, I believe everything will fall into place for us both!

Hey, and guess what? No PB today! I don't believe the fixation one particular type of food can have on us. I was watching an Oprah rerun today with her trainer or whoever, Bob Greene. Just some comment he made about most of us having one particular food we abuse. Sadly, PB is mine.

And the thing that boggles my mind about this is how every single time in my life when I have been on any type of diet, particularly calorie restricted ones, PB becomes like an obsession to me (even from as far back as my teen years). Any time else it is gross to me and I cannot stand the taste of it. However, I go on some strict weightloss regime and here I am again, as though I will die if I don't get it. Why the heck that is, I wish I knew but I often have heard how our bodies will crave a certain nutrient we are lacking. If that is true, I wonder what exactly is in peanut butter that my body is in need of? It can't be the fat or the protein.

[FaithM.]

The day went very well and I felt like I had a lot of my energy back, which is great because I was able to finally catch up on all the housework I've fallen behind on. We're getting ready to put our house up for sale so we have to get it in tip top shape before the realtor comes out this week. So that was part of my workout for the day right there!

I also pulled out one of my Tae-Bo tapes to do this evening! I'd been aiming to for awhile plus I thought how can I have Tae-Bo in the title of my journal without ever actually doing it! Anyway, it still amazes me how terrific I feel afterwards. Just one 25 minute workout and I promise you will be dripping sweat!

Tuesday's Menu:

Brunch -- homemade chicken-veggie soup
shrimp salad
2 oz. cheddar

S -- 2 celery stalks/cream cheese
2 sl. american cheese

D -- rotisserie chicken & mayo
celery stalk/cream cheese

S -- celery stalk/cream cheese
can vienna weiners

BEVS:
water
grn tea packets (2)
1 c. coffee w/cream, splenda, cinnamon

WORKOUT? Y...Tae-Bo 25 min.

WT: 181...down 4

[AuntieMame]

Originally Posted by FaithM.

No PB today! I don't believe the fixation one particular type of food can have on us. I was watching an Oprah rerun today with her trainer or whoever, Bob Greene. Just some comment he made about most of us having one particular food we abuse. Sadly, PB is mine.

Shoot! I've waited to long. I wanted a recipe, but now, if I ask... it would be totally cruel to bring it up.

You're doing great, btw!! WTG with the Tae Bo (I made a rhyme )

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by AuntieMame

Shoot! I've waited to long. I wanted a recipe, but now, if I ask... it would be totally cruel to bring it up.

What recipe might that be? Ask away!