From Wheelchair to Tae-Bo...

[mstamika]

Originally Posted by FaithM.

Hmm, I like the sound of that title or...Faith Strikes Back!

I feel like, with me, rather than thinking I'm a burden, it is more this visual or paranoia I have of people passing through, rolling their eyes and thinking, "Oh God, there she goes again...wonder how this attempt number 2,000 is gonna end up!"

I know I worry way too much about what others think of me. I always have but I also believe those thoughts above are more the opinion I hold of myself than anyone else's. I still don't want to be thought of as the person who can't get her act together! I think I'm so down on myself now because that very first year I was so dedicated and spot-on with everything, I mean you couldn't have paid me a million bucks to go off plan ever! This past year though I have found that I've grown increasingly frustrated with myself because my devotion keeps wavering. Now it just about kills me to eat clean for a straight 24 hours. Oh, I just want to make my mind up and do this and not waste the next 10 years being a wishy-washy low carber. And that is how it seems I have been.

The second time around for me has been just as much as an up and down battle. It took me 2 years to actually get mostly back on plan and I'm still not all the way there which is why I added exercise. I said forget it! I may not get and stay under 20 grams (which I did religiously the first time around) but I darn sure am going to give it my best shot.

As you can see from reading my journal I've had some doosies of a fall. This goes back to what I suggested before... feel out what really works long term. One thing each week. Stay under 40-50 carbs for a month then add in more water and/or exercise or Stay under 40 grams for 6 days and have one free day. Start with setting attainable goals that you can accomplish which will build your confidence You tell those voices in your head which represent self criticism that try number 2000 is going better than 1999 and try number 2001 is going to be even better than 2000 and you will not be denied your goal because you refuse to quit

I still haven't gotten my act together I just decided to get together a new act. ba-dump-dump Just do your best Faith. I'm here to cheer you on.

[mmam5]

Faith!! I LOVE french fries dipped in mayo! Or tartar sauce mm mm mm

Yes - you can do this ... I like the idea of a new journal for a new beginning! And know what you mean ... sometimes I too worry too much about what other's think ... that I talk out my butt and make it worse doesn't help... but usually a good nights sleep and finding my "attitude" helps get things back on track.

Tamika - A new act! LOL

Ok - I'd love to stay and play ... but the office wants me to actually WORK for my pay today

[FaithM.]

Oh wow Tamika, I loved that last line! So clever! If you can't get your act together doing one thing then get together a new act. Makes so much sense.
...and just for the record, this is attempt number 2001 for me!

Marci, if anyone knows about talking out her butt it is I! I am such a rambler and sometimes I don't know when enough is enough once I get on my tangents. Maybe I get so carried away here because I've got nobody to tell me I need to shut up!

[mstamika]

I hope you are having a great day Faith!

[nicsweed]

FAITH, i luv the idea of a new journal, and dont sweat the hater's on LCF, espeacialy in the main lobby, i swear if people dont have someting nice to say, keep ur darn mouth shut..ok!!! We are all proud of you for re-commiting your-self once more, if it the million'th time or the 1st, we are glad that you're here and you give us the opportunity to share such a life changing experience. You are still a hundred pound loser, and always remember sweetie if you did it once; then you know it can be done.

I think in your case successes now have a lot to do with:

1. Weeding ur garden: picking the right people to be around u who support you in your personal journey and "weeding" the negative influences or those that do not. This sometimes includes people who are the nearest and dearest ie: family. This is extremely important!! Keep your distance from the doomsdayers, the naysayers, the diet police, the overly crital etc. Embrace the people who will support you and love you for wanting to make a very difficult change in your life. This is work!! Dieting is simple, but it's NOT EASY. You can't ask for things from people who don't have the capacity to give it!! It took me a long time to figure this one out And in my experience, a lot of time insecurity rears it's ugly head as *****Y SNARKINESS/COMPETITIVENESS...especially in women. I saw it when I was younger and I see it with weight loss. Like my dad used to say, "Don't let the turkeys get you down!" Anyone who makes a comment trying to make you feel bad is only trying to make themselves feel better. Don't play into it!!! Try to let it roll off you...I know it's hard. I am a sensitive soul and one of the reasons I gave up on my dream for profit is I couldn't stand the competitive nature of the business and the cattiness of the people around me at the time. I wasn't secure enough in my talent to hold my head up and be strong. It doesn't take much to make me feel hurt by someone's either thoughtlessness or deliberate snarkyness, but I'm getting better and you can too!


I think it will make you feel better knowing that we all pour our heart and soul's on this board and were here for you baby girl, it like your TOM we just keep coming back.

LV U-NIC

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by nicsweed

it like your TOM we just keep coming back.

LV U-NIC

Yeah except you all I look forward to coming!

I absolutely agree with everything you just said and I like that garden/weeding concept, that is so true. Now if only I could figure out how to weed ME out because that is where the majority of the negative is coming from.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with the tendency of getting really emotional and personal, it is such a personal/emotional journey for us all! And this place would be totally boring if we didn't spill a little juice now and then. If I could change one thing about the way I share my feelings though it would be to be a bit more brief and general because they run deep like the bottomless pit and my rampages can go on with no end in sight!

There is a lot, lot that runs through my mind, not all directly weight related, but some places I am learning discretion is a virtue, LOL! I never want to intentionally offend or hurt anyone else, here or anywhere so I think my new journal is going to stay as weight related as possible and if anyone wants to read the real juicy stuff they can come and get it directly from me As for here...we'll just have to see how that goes because I know me!

[Blondie Baby]

Hey Faith!Gotta tell you ITA with Nicsweed! Well said Nics!!!!!!

As for weeding yourself - I tend to have a real problem with negativity. And it was really keeping me down. I finally decided that I just DID NOT want to be negativity all tha time. It made me feel so bad! Exercise has helped a GREAT deal in that department. But also, every morning when I wake up I tell myself - I can CHOOSE to be negativity and have a crappy day OR I can choose to be upbeat and positive and have a good day! You know what Faith? In the beginning I actually had to write it down and tape it on my bathroom mirror! But now I tell myself automatically! And getting up for morning prayers has helped also, if you are a spiritual person.

Sorry for preaching Honey. Have a good day!

[nicsweed]

THANKS MARYAM....I WAS HAVING A MAJOR MOMENT!

[FaithM.]

Hey! Right, such golden advice all around, I only have to learn how to take it and I'll be good, LOL! I consider myself a very spiritual person although structured prayer times have slipped from my daily routine. You could say I pray every single day and at any given moment when it hits me. Trust me, with the way things have been going and with all that is up in the air right now, I have had many talks with the Lord! but since you mention it maybe I need to take out a special time to devote to it rather than always just in passing.

Ah, yes I am having that negative vs. positive discussion now as I write. I am trying to promise myself that no matter what kind of day unfolds that I will focus more on the positive. Why does it have to be so much easier said than done?

[FaithM.]

Wow, I submitted that and there Nic popped up! Well, all I have to say is thank goodness for our major moments, huh? and good morning to you!

[nicsweed]

HEY FAITH....HEY MARYAM

HOPE U GIRLS HAVE A GOOD"LC" WEEKEND!

[Blondie Baby]

Don't worry Faith! It gets easier! At first, like I said I had to put notes to remind myself to be positive. Now, when I feel myself starting to be negative, I just need to remind myself that it's MY choice!

Nic - weekends usually aren't so LC for me, especially this time year! We almost always have the kids at the kids at the park or the beach bbqing, which means chips, cookies and goodies. But I try real hard to control myself! Hope your weekend is going wonderful!

[mstamika]

Happy Satrurday I pray you are being good to yourself and hope has filled every corner of your heart.

[nicsweed]

it is a silly nickname....nicfonda and layla simmons...those are our work out alias!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by nicsweed

it is a silly nickname....nicfonda and layla simmons...those are our work out alias!

Yeah I kinda figured! I think it's really cute.

btw...how are you doing with what you're doing?? You should be very proud of your stats as well, they are pretty amazing! You should consider starting a journal yourself.

[FaithM.]

Ok, here's a little something in the name of progress...I hopped on the treadmill for 25 minutes this afternoon. It has been quite awhile since I'd done a workout and gracious, did I feel it!! It seriously whooped my butt just doing those 25 minutes and that makes me sad that I let my fitness level get down that far in the dumps. The last time I was on the TM I was jogging, even months after running a 10K! Today was a total reality check in regards with exactly how much more out of shape these past couple of months have found me.

Which brings me to the subject of the C25K. My plan was to restart the program this month but idk, with the way things went earlier I think I am going to have to take things more slowly, just get back into moving first, then next month begin the program. The annual Austin Capitol 10,000 (10K) is coming up...the end of March I believe and I really want this to be my 2nd year in a row participating in it. I can train for that in 2.5 months, I did just that this year though that was pushing it for me and I wanted a little more time to prepare but because I have seriously screwed this year away it looks like that isn't to be. Not going to dwell on it, that is the harsh reality...but I just wanted to get that out here that this is going to be my aim for the upcoming months!


The last 2 days eating wise went much better. Not perfectly OP but no freak out binges either, so for one more thing to be relieved of. Today I had half of a hard boiled egg, some leftover chicken w/mayo and pork rinds for bkfst and snack, a few tuna "muffins" I whipped together, for dinner and lunch was a special concoction I created and baked up and it has turned out really tasty the last couple of times I made it. In a muffin tin, I shape some seasoned ground beef into a shell then fill with a mixture of softened together shaved turkey, cream cheese, tabasco, and cheddar-chive egg beaters; and bake. This has turned into one of my favorite mini meals. It is way yummier than it sounds! I haven't tried putting it into recipe form because I eye everything.

Also, I ate a little popcorn with the kids tonight while watching The Polar Express. I amazed myself with my portion control on that! However, before my workout I'd polished off the last 3 jumbo marshmallows in the pantry. TG that is all that was left out of the bag!

Ok, that is it for my long winded entry!

[Tracey40]

Faith - I think you'll be amazed at how fast your body will get back into the swing of the C25K! You did great yesterday!!!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Tracey40

Faith - I think you'll be amazed at how fast your body will get back into the swing of the C25K! You did great yesterday!!!

Thanks, Tracey! I think you're right. And I need the consistency too. Once I reach that level I'm sure the rest will fall into place.

Gosh but I miss jogging. I was actually addicted to the feeling of "wonderful" back then and not to food. I want to be back at that place again!!

[Tracey40]

I know what you mean! I was sick for basically the whole month of November. It took away some of my stamina, but it felt great to back at it!

[FaithM.]

Oh, I sure hear ya on the sickness. That cold/flu bug held onto me for a good month or so and I am just now starting to feel like my old self but like you said, have lost quite a bit of the stamina I had built up. Even off plan I was still able to get a good workout in on the TM our biking outdoors but yesterday, and after being so sick, I was just out of breath and my chest felt heavy.

So happy to hear you are feeling better!

[mstamika]

Hey Faith, I've been keeping my eyes peeled for that new journal you been teasing us with I hope you are having a great day. It looks lilke you are making progress. Slow but sure wins the race

[FaithM.]

If what you say about slow winning the race then I am on my way to crossing that finish line for sure!

Oh, and I'm still going to do the new journal but I'll probably wait until closer to New Years, just a few days before or after...just so I can fit in with all the newly incoming once a year "January dieters".

My only second thoughts are I don't want to lose all the great words of advice and support on this one.

[FaithM.]

OMG!!! I was baking hot wings in the oven just now and had decided to do them on parchment paper...then as I am smelling something burn, burn, burn!

I just realized...I grabbed the WAX paper by mistake!!

I cannot believe I DID that!!

[FaithM.]

ugh the smell in here now has just about spoiled my appetite for the hot wings!!

[mstamika]

AWWW sorry to hear you have stinky over