From Wheelchair to Tae-Bo...

[mstamika]

Originally Posted by FaithM.

...Now I have to prove to myself that when life throws a loop hole and things aren't going so smoothly, that I have it in me to pick myself back up and see things through to the bitter end. I still feel like I've got a long way to go as far as progress (emotional and mental, as well as physical).

I can truely relate to this statement. Picking myself off the junk food floor has been an interesting challenge these past few weeks.

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by mstamika

I can truely relate to this statement. Picking myself off the junk food floor has been an interesting challenge these past few weeks.

OG I hear ya!! I am still going through that challenge to this very day. I would love to be able to say I set a good example around here but sadly...as far as what NOT to do maybe so, LOL! However many setbacks that each of us have had I will say that we still continue to pick ourselves up off that floor. It may take us a few extra moments to regain our composure to do so, but we DO get back up!

And you, Friend...are doing just that right now! I am extremely proud of you! It IS more difficult with the kids around in addition to every other stressor we must deal with in life. Sure adds a whole other dimension to the whole management thing. I am positive you and your little ones will settle into a nice, steady routine here before long. Everything is going to be alright!

[Blondie Baby]

Hey Faith - Sounds like you're feeling better! That's great! Thanks for the compliment! You are always so sweet! And I totally never took your never took your rant for agression! That is why we feel free to rant and rave here - so we don't punch someone, right?!! I never, ever felt you would be an aggressive person. that is more my area. I have been known (in the past, especially when alcohol was involved) to punch people. But you are much to sweet and nice for that kind of behavior!!!!

Seriously, try the mineral water, but make sure you check labels. Alot of the flavored ones contain sugar!!! I use the unflovered and sometimes squeeze a lemon or lime in my glass. And do go order that book! I'm almost finished and I'm just amazed!!!! It has completely changed the way I think about the relationship between food and our weight!!!!

And of course, it has opened the door for many of my DBF's conspiracy theories!!!! he is the KING of Conspiracy Theory World!

You are and will continue to be in my

[beautifulme]

HEy SIS
I had a lot of catching up to do on your journal.
#1..You can find SF mayo at the health food store,or you can make homeade mayo.I live in a small town so I just buy the kind w sugar in it since I'm too lazy to make my own.Just stay away from the kind with HFCS.

I did not know that pickles had sugar in them..how strange.I am off to check my labels..

Happy to know that you are doing better and good luck with the house.I wish that I was getting a house built.Now that we are sisters make sure that you have a guess bedroom ready 4 me K.....

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Blondie Baby

And I totally never took your never took your rant for agression! That is why we feel free to rant and rave here - so we don't punch someone, right?!! I never, ever felt you would be an aggressive person. that is more my area. I have been known (in the past, especially when alcohol was involved) to punch people. But you are much to sweet and nice for that kind of behavior!!!!

Yeah I'm too sweet & nice for that! I keep my hands to myself...but I am anything but sweet whenever I get ticked off by somebody. I tend to hold grudges too, ACK! A little bit more of my not so worldly true nature coming out, folks!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by beautifulme

HEy SIS
I had a lot of catching up to do on your journal.
#1..You can find SF mayo at the health food store,or you can make homeade mayo.I live in a small town so I just buy the kind w sugar in it since I'm too lazy to make my own.Just stay away from the kind with HFCS.

I did not know that pickles had sugar in them..how strange.I am off to check my labels..

Happy to know that you are doing better and good luck with the house.I wish that I was getting a house built.Now that we are sisters make sure that you have a guess bedroom ready 4 me K.....

Sis! I have missed you!
Well, we are excited about the new house and we tried to get that extra room! It is a bit larger than our current house but it has only 4 bedrooms with the gameroom so, since there are 7 of us, our 2 boys will be rooming in the gameroom. But don't worry Sis, we will find a nice, comfy place for you. You just have to get down here to Texas first!

Hey, guess what? I found me some SF mayo! Last week when I went by a health store for some of those infamous Holiday herbal teas! It isn't too bad, it tastes a bit like Miracle Whip, I think. I still prefer Kraft and sneak a little in. Old habits die hard!

[FaithM.]

Ok guys. I am not really feeling all that much better. I hate to say it but my words often contradict my true state of mind and there is just too much going on for me to stay happy for long. It comes and goes in waves. I will go from cheery to moody, from laughing to crying all in a matter of minutes. I know we are getting the new house and DH, a new job and all but we are living proof that neither luxuries, nor possessions, nor "moving up" are symbols of true happiness. There is just too much negativity around here, I cannot be excited about a thing. Now here, in addition, I cannot seem to stay on plan and my weight is back up over 200. I am falling to pieces. I really, really don't know how I am going to keep going from this point on...

Have a good night, Friends!

[Blondie Baby]

My friend!. Please don't be sad! You have so much to be thankful for. You have a wonderful family (even though sometimes teenagers make you wonder WHY oh WHY you ever did this!), you have a wonderful hubby, a wonderful new house being built and you have come so far! You can do this. Stop telling yourself you can't!!!! I know sometimes, especially with large families, you just feel like you have no strength left and you just CAN'T keep going. But you can. You will be amazed at the strength you find within yourself!

Here's some ideas - instead of focusing so much on your weight right now, focus on your HEALTH!!! The book I'm reading says that that mental health, weight, reproduction, its all linked together and all driven by diet. Not quantity of diet but QUALITY. Try eating protein and fat - as much as you like - until you don't feel hungry at all. But stay completely away from sugar, HFCS, sweeteners and refined carbs. Just try that for a few days and see how you feel. I have been COMPLETELY off sugar, sweeteners and refined carbs for 3 days now and its surprising how much calmer and relaxed I feel, especially at work where I HATE everyone!!!!

Hang in there Sweety! We're all here for you. Still for you and your family.

Beautifulme - I would invite you to visit me but you are so darned pretty I wouldn't want to leave DBF in the same with you!!!!!

[mmam5]

Hey Faith - Listen to MaryAm - she knows her stuff... A couple weeks ago with the kids I was going thru crap - too much weight on my shoulders... never mind even getting the house clean ... Uuugghh... Too many responsibilities pulling us in too many directions.

Another idea... make a list of things - things that HAVE to get done... things that can wait... etc. Put everything in order - you know - 1. Hug kids, 2. Pay bills 3. Make lunch, 4. hug the pet, 5. read a book for 20 minutes (non-kid book), 6. Go thru one drawer in the kitchen... etc.

I finally had to sit down and do that too... the holidays are so stressful and so much to do... Nice to just say no to many of the things that come up. We blew off Boy Scouts last night, so we could have a family sitdown dinner... felt so much better, so relaxed... no laundry got folded, but at least it's washed...

You can do this Faith ... just have to .... well, Have FAITH!

[mstamika]

Originally Posted by FaithM.

Ok guys. I am not really feeling all that much better. I hate to say it but my words often contradict my true state of mind and there is just too much going on for me to stay happy for long. It comes and goes in waves. I will go from cheery to moody, from laughing to crying all in a matter of minutes. I know we are getting the new house and DH, a new job and all but we are living proof that neither luxuries, nor possessions, nor "moving up" are symbols of true happiness. There is just too much negativity around here, I cannot be excited about a thing. Now here, in addition, I cannot seem to stay on plan and my weight is back up over 200. I am falling to pieces. I really, really don't know how I am going to keep going from this point on...

Have a good night, Friends!

Faith I am so sorry you are having a tough time I will definitely be praying for you and your family.

[beautifulme]

Where are you SIS?I hope that you enjoyed your Thanksgiving.....
Check in soon Or I'm coming to TX.....

[Blondie Baby]

for you Sweety. Getting a little worried about you. Think I'm gonna send Beautifulme a ticket to Texas!!!!!!

[FaithM.]

Yes, yes come to Texas!! Now, do I really have to make you guys worry about me to get ya'll up here?

I will try and update after the weekend. This past week has been a whirlwind. I've felt really sick and under the weather this past week, including Thanksgiving Day! On top of that, DS8 fractured his foot while on his friend's trampoline. We had a heck of a time finding a podiatrist last minute who would put a cast on him the day before Thanksgiving! Just a lot of stuff and being busy with the kids, Thanksgiving, etc., etc. If I can't get back here tomorrow then I will try on Monday.

Love you all and hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving too!

[nicsweed]

hope ur doing better today, the holiday's are so stressful, and i think as woman we naturally focus on other's well being and put ourself's on the back burner! HAVE A GREAT NIGHT-Nic

[Blondie Baby]

Glad to hear you are okay. Sorry about your DS! Kids are always managing to get hurt! for a full recovery! And I'm really looking forward to your update. But just in case, i still think I'm gonna send Beautifulme a ticket. I work for an airline so don't think I won't do it!!!!!!!

[Tracey40]

Faith - I'm checking in on you - how are you feeling???

[mstamika]

Hi Faith dropping by to say Hi I hope things are working out and you sons foot is healing well.

[FaithM.]

Thank you guys for checking in on me! Please forgive me though, I'm not going to be on long because I've been sick and I'm still not feeling too hot. The awfulness I have been feeling has allowed me to come here only for long enough to peek in on a couple of threads and that's it. Just when it looks like I will be able to put in an update I start feeling crappy again and then have to go. It feels like I have been sick for weeks. It's probably just a cold/flu bug that doesn't want to let go. I have had nausea that comes and goes in waves, one moment I feel like eating the next I feel like puking! I have energy one minute, then the next my head is spinning and I just want to lie around. It has been this way at least since Thanksgiving morning. I wish my body would just decide whether it is going to be ill or well and get over it already!

And through all this I still did the Black Friday thing with DH. Standing in line literally 3 and a half hours for a good deal on a desktop PC sure didn't help. Now I am really pissed off because we've been having trouble routing the s.o.b. from the old one! We had to pay big bucks the other day just to have some guy over to get the connection going to the new one. That was after we were out $$ having to go back out to buy an adaptor because we hadn't realized the router wasn't enough. NOW it (the new one) keeps not letting us on the Net and we keep having to restart the damn thing, then maybe it will let us on for a short while. This morning it hasn't let me on at all so, needless to say, I am typing on our older one. Which isn't a problem outside of the fact we just spent a lot of money on a new one we can't even use half the time ! I am just mad about the whole thing. Seems all the saving we got from the sales we are now having to be out on this thing to get it working right. The guy that came out blamed the fact that it is a Windows Vista and pretty much implied we are destined for problems out of the thing. So what now? Should we just return the thing and get our money back and have a Windows XP built for us? I am dumb when it comes to technical computer stuff! I just keep thinking what good is it to even have Roadrunner for if it won't even let us on the web?!

Oh, well right now I am between sick and blah and aggravated to give a care. *tear tear* Sorry, I'm not proofing anything so if this is full of typos then ya'll will just hafta deal with it! I think I am going to go lie down for awhile. I have to get DS out of school early today for a follow up on his foot with the Podiatrist. I'll let you all know later how it all went.

[mstamika]

Sorry to hear youare having so many computer and health challenges. I pray you feel better soon. Have you been to the doctor? Confirmation is better that overlooking something. JMHO.

Take Care

[Tracey40]

Faith

Take Care of you! I had that flu/cold bug since November 1, still have a bit of it yet so it takes a while!

Hugs my friend!!

[beautifulme]

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well and about your son.I am sending both of you get well wishes...and hugs..I'm still coming down there to get Ya..bLONDIE BABy sent me a ticket...
Get better my dear.Because we miss you on here......

[Blondie Baby]

Faith - Sorry to hear you aren't well. Sometimes it is just better to lay down and rest and let your body get well - not an easy task with so many kids in the house! If I could I would send Mary (my housemaid) to you til you are well. Word of advise on the computer - Get rid of Vista. Go back to XP. Nothing but problems with Vista. Wait at least a year until they have most of the problems with Vista worked out before you even consider getting it. Find one of your teenager's computer geek friends (you know they have them) and have them come over and get all your setting "set up" the way they are suppose to be. and for both you and your son's health.

[FaithM.]

HEy guys! I hope you'll forgive me but I am going to make this really quick then I think I'm going to go lie down and rest. I just wanted to update and let ya'll know what was up since I left you all hanging and I felt bad about that. I am still sick and haven't gotten much rest lately. Cold/flu or some other type of thing, idk, but I have been up and down, physically and emotionally. I am not doing well on the weight front either, it is hell trying to eat right and be positive when you are feeling so rotten! I have been sick for weeks now, going on a month, by the time I am better then it all will truly be out of control so I am really fighting with myself to regain that control. Tonight though, everything hurts, my sinuses are clogged, and my mood is really sucky.
I'm just stressing how agonizing it is everytime just when you feel you are able to start picking yourself up that you keep getting knocked back down over and over again. And I just don't know if I can keep coming here b'ing and complaining with a piss poor attitude. I feel as though I am tainting my own journal which was initially intended to help me get back on track and so far it hasn't. Maybe I am wrong to keep waiting for this great epiphany to strike and realize that falling into step is going to be more of a slow, ongoing process. Still, all the while, I don't like the attitude I portray when I write here. And I go back and forth between overspilling my emotions and running off and hiding.

There are so many others things I wish I could express but I can't do it here or else I will regret it and then it won't do any good anyway but make me appear even more passive and insecure. Ok, maybe I don't pop out and open myself up enough in some areas but then when I do I feel totally brushed off and unimportant. It affects me to the point I am barely saying anything at all! It is like one crazy, idiotic cycle! So, I'm sometimes like, why even am I here. Maybe I am searching for certain things in the completely wrong place.

I started to not come here tonight because my emotions are running high and I knew something like the above would come out. I am sure I will regret this come the morning but I was just needing to vent, for whatever it is worth. I have already ruined my rep and people's perception of me so right at this point it doesn't even matter. I just cannot open myself up the way I used to when I was younger, I have lost the will and desire.