From Wheelchair to Tae-Bo...

[FaithM.]

I apologize, I will need to come back later and do my catching up with everyone. I've been a little down especially since yesterday. Just some ongoing emotional problems with my teen DD and her well check didn't go so well yesterday. I want to get into it but then again I don't. It is all a long story and I'm not really up to getting into the details. I just cannot help feeling responsible for everything that isn't going right. Can't help but feel like I just SUCK as a mom! And the convo from said doc sure didn't make me feel otherwise.

That's all for now.

[mmam5]

Faith -

I think we all go that ... my DS is borderline ADHD... I kick myself that we didn't do the neurology testing, then other days I'm happy we didn't... good days/bad days... until he hits 20-30 yo, guess we won't be sure on all our mistakes as parents

[FaithM.]

I guess you're right, Marci. We won't ever be completely sure...what is our doing and what just IS. We just end up blaming ourselves for everything.

I need therapy, half my kids need therapy. I have every reason to conclude maybe I just wasn't cut out for this.

We took my eldest DS (now 16) to neurologists when he was much younger, like grade school age. The last one we went to had no right being in the mental health field. He ended up telling us every terrible thing we as parents are told NOT to listen to. There is a difference in telling a parent what they need to hear even though the truth may hurt. Total wrongness to dash their dreams and tell them there is no hope for their child!!!

Another had ended up assessing US (more than DS) and telling us everything WE were doing and had done wrong!

We never took him back after the first one I mentioned above. He (the dr.) pretty much spoiled it for us for reaching out for help from then on.

[nicsweed]

Congrats on 11/11, it is going to go great! You have been such a good girl! hey it's baby steps...all baby steps, one at a time! GOOD LUCK! YOU RAWK-Nic

[FaithM.]

Thank you, Nic! You are a sweetheart!

I have been hanging in okay with everything in and outside of eating. It just feels like one thing constantly on top of another and I am feeling the weight of the pressure more and more. It is never okay to just "settle". I'm trying to strive for better for myself and my family but sometimes it is way too easy to fall into the trap of inadvertence, especially when there are things flying at you from every angle.

Balance. If I ever find it I will be a smooth sailer! And a happy woman!


On the food front:

On plan, just way too much processed crap. BBQ, sausage, my favorites...It makes sense to me, just when you are trying to detox and rid your system of the sugar and carbs, that your mind will seek out things with the hidden glucose and additives! It is a tough thing to fight! On the one hand we know these things aren't any better for us but you rationalize them because they are still "legal" in the LC sense and, after all, it is better than going outright for the obvious stuff!

I am still steering clear of the diet sodas and the scale I had a small sample bag of cashews from the store the other day but they were all natural, salt free; and I stopped at those! The coffee with too much cream and splenda, well we will not touch on that right at this time!
No more mindless snacking really late at night the past several days. I think because I have been satisfied throughout the day. I am nervous about weighing in on Sunday. While I don't want to be scale obsessed, I do not wish to become scale-phobic either and I am afraid this thing is going to turn either one way or the other for me!

[FaithM.]

...Oh yeah and Nic if you're around...I forgot to tell you awhile back I did try out those cucumber pinwheels with the cream cheese/tobasco filling that you told me about and they were absolutely delectable! Definitely a favorite of mine now, I just don't get them made often enough. I like them better using seedless cucumbers.

[beautifulme]

HEy my Love..

[Blondie Baby]

Hey Faith! Parents have gone home so now I will be checking in regularly like before. Good for you on staying away from diet soda. That crap is nothing but a bunch of chemicals you don't need to be putting in your body. I don't even let my kids have regular soda very often! And you're right - It is so hard to find pure natural food! They always sneak stuff in on you. My Mom pointed out the other day that my mayonnaise had SUCROSE in it!!!! It's Kraft!!!!! Now I have a find a new brand!

Anyway, take care sweety!

[FaithM.]

Beautiful!!

Maryam, oh I know the Mayo thing really ticks me off! I use Kraft too and noticed the hidden sugar! Must be the reason I am so hooked and cannot go a day without it. I haven't been on the hunt for any sugar free. I'm not sure where to find any but I haven't exactly gone out of my way. I think that is going to be my next assignment...

[FaithM.]

And also, after dinner last night I went to the fridge for a pickle (thanks to thread in ML, LOL!), looked at the ingredients and saw High Fructose Corn Syrup!! I had never noticed that before! The only other ones we had in there with no sugar added turned out to be old and had to be tossed out. So no pickles for me...

[mmam5]

Hi Kids!

I hate it when they do that .... remember when "Fat Free" everything started popping up? Of course it's fat free, so to make it taste good they throw in tons of sugar - We were better off with the FAT ...

Maryam - glad you had a nice visit with the parents ... We'll get to see mine in March sometime.

[FaithM.]

I hear ya, Marci! Saddest thing about that is the majority of the population never put two and two together to wisen up. Even I never did until I started learning about low carb...

The next saddest thing (or is it THE worst of all) is how so many people out there still don't see the forest for the trees...loading their bodies with sugar-laden, floury, fat free crap in order to "save themselves" from the damage they think they would be doing with FAT and Low Carbing in general.

Yep all that gets me on my soapbox everytime!

[Blondie Baby]

Faith - have you had time to read Gary Taubes book - Good Calories, Bad Calories? It's very enlightening about this exact subject! I'm about halfway through and just can't believe how some scientist managed to twist test results and other stuff like that!

Hope your weekend went well! My life appears to be taking a turn towards brighter skies - insha'allah. I'll keep praying that yours does too!

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by Blondie Baby

Faith - have you had time to read Gary Taubes book - Good Calories, Bad Calories? It's very enlightening about this exact subject!

I haven't yet but it IS on top of my list of must reads! I have looked everywhere for it but no luck whatsoever. Looks like I'm going to have to break down special order it.

[FaithM.]

I weighed in a couple of days early. I made it 13 days without stepping on the scale! Trust me, that was a major step for me! So, I am down 4 lbs. in 2 weeks. ick. I was super strict week one though but way more lenient the 2nd and overdid it on the frankenfoods. Oh. WEll. I would have to keep it on a steady butt-bust in order to get ahead, it feels like.

ETA: Oh, wait...the night before I'd weighed last (where I was 198) I'd had a bad, off plan binge day so I don't know what the scale went up to. So, really I am sure that was more than 4 lbs. I lost altogether. Just wanted to throw that in there.

I was going to weigh again on Sunday but I'd gone to bed the night before, sick as a dog, and I've been ever since! Our family went to the Cornfield Maize on a farm in Hondo, Texas Saturday evening for fun. Evidently something, I don't know what--got a hold of me there and knocked me for a loop! I don't know if it was the crazy high winds, dirt & debris flying, the hay or the cornfields or what. I haven't been able to breathe right for 2 days and my head and throat hurt like mad.

We were even going to get up early Sunday to take the kids to the zoo but I was so sick and miserable and I feel just as rotten for having let them down. It is just really strange, that Saturday I felt absolutely amazing and wanted to do just about anything! It had to be the Maizes!

Oh, then we ended up busting our rears cleaning the house in a mad frenzy because a realtor called and wanted to show our house. We hated turning anyone down so I spent hours cleaning and tidying and ended up feeling way worse! Just what we get for not keeping the house presentable at all times but, hey...that is hard work with 5 kids around to mess it up! I know, I know, with all those extra hands we oughtta be Spic and Span around here but somehow it just doesn't work out that way!

[FaithM.]

Since I have been so sick it has been hard as sin to eat right! Funny thing is, I have had absolutely NO appetite--but I ate anyway! Perhaps in half an effort to make myself feel better but it never did. So, I have eaten a couple of off plan things simply because I've been too miserable to care. I've been sipping sodas again because they are helping to settle my stomach. Consequently, with the off plan stuff I have no clue what the scale is doing because I haven't weighed in 4 days. And I won't be again until next Sunday or Monday. I just want to get well again and it is back to eggs, fish, and chicken!

Tomorrow morning DH and I have to travel up to our future hometown for a Pre-construction meeting on our new house! The forms have been laid and it looks like they'll be pouring the concrete soon! I am excited but I still don't feel all that well so hopefully I won't be back to square one by the time we get back. As you can tell, right now all I feel like doing is complaining.

[mmam5]

Sometimes ya have to get that "whininess" out and then you can move on! Try to focus on the positives.. you're MOSTLY healthy, getting a NEW house, have family to Love, blah blah I think we all get that way too... life overwhelmes us from too many angles... so we have to pick and choose what we want to worry about today...

Maybe you have a slight allergy to corn? My SIL can't go near a cornfield... too much dust up your nose and in your lungs... have you tried Mucinex yet? I hear that works wonders...

Wooo hooo on 4 lbs in 2 weeks ... not bad - it's in the right direction...

Ok - back to work for me ... BBL to play a bit more ...

[Blondie Baby]

Sorry to hear your not well! Hope you get back on your feet soon! Spic and Span with 5 kids in the house????? YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!! Even with a housemaid my house is NEVER spic and span!!!!!!!!!

Congrats on pouring cement on your new house! That must be so exciting! I'm very jealous!!

Have you thought about drinking sparkling water instead of soda to settle your tummy?

ITA with Marci - 4lbs is 2 weeks is SUPER progress!!!!!!

I got the book from Amazon.com. I KNOW you will really enjoy. I can't put it down. When I'm not at work or busy at home, I'm reading it! DBF has taken to calling me Ms. Good Calories, Bad Calories!!!!!!

[mmam5]

Doesn't the medical place (or another one in your area) take "walk-ins"?? Ours up here if we call in and ask, usually they'll fit you in OR if you call, the nurses may have an idea for some relief till they can fit her in tomorrow ... still might have to wait a half hour to an hour, but it sure beats going thru ER for a sore throat... KWIM?

Another friend of mine is going thru similar SUCKY dr issues too and not looking forward to looking for a new one...

We're here for ya honey pot! Maybe you need a double shot of VC yourself ... and a long vacation

Maryam - THAT is a fantastic pic of you and the kids!

[mstamika]

Hiya Faith,
You have been doing great over hear. It is really cool to see that you have soem success under your belt, I know it makes all the difference.

Go Faith Go!

[FaithM.]

Marci, I'm not sure of any around here that take walk-ins, free-clinic wise anyway. I'm going to try to find something at least until we can get a new Dr. which won't be until the first of the month.

I'm trying to get that post deleted. I'm uncomfortable with the way I came off sounding in it. I resent feeling helpless in any situation and I tend to become a little too emotional when expressing my feelings. I tend to just keep things bottled up until I lose it but I really never intended to get quite that personal on this board. I dislike feeling that vulnerable. *sigh*

[nicsweed]

HEY FAITH IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE THE TEXAS CRUDE...HEHE! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO THE CORN MAZE, BUT I WILL JUST STICK WITHE THE CORN ON THE COB...HOPE U GET BETTER! and PLEASE dont be embarrassed about the above post, you gotta let it out, hey better out than in, o-NIC

[Blondie Baby]

Faith - Sending big . Sure hope you feel better soon. It is hard to be a Mom when you really feel like being the patient! As soon as TOM passes I'll be sending for you and your dd's quick recovery.

Marci - Thanks! That's my monkeys!

[mmam5]

Faith ... yep - we're all human and vulnerable ... some days just seems like MORE so than usual ... Hard to take what others say to us at face value... like the dr. talking out his(her?) butt to you. They aren't living with you on a day to basis, so even just taking into account what you say, isn't the same as walking in your shoes

Find something good about today ... like - ahhh - how much WE ALL care about you! How much your kids DO love you

[FaithM.]

Originally Posted by mmam5

Faith ... yep - we're all human and vulnerable ... some days just seems like MORE so than usual ... Hard to take what others say to us at face value... like the dr. talking out his(her?) butt to you. They aren't living with you on a day to basis, so even just taking into account what you say, isn't the same as walking in your shoes

Find something good about today ... like - ahhh - how much WE ALL care about you! How much your kids DO love you

Thank you so much for caring about me! And I know children do love their parents though at times it feels like a thankless "job". It is a normal faze of life and most of us don't truly appreciate our parents until we finally go through what they have.

My mom always said the same things too, that nobody "knows" how anybody else lives unless you have lived under the same roof as them. And even brief one-on-one discussions (most definitely with teens) are not all revealing of one's life nor how their parents control the household. My two teens certainly have their opinions on what is fair and unfair, etc. but anyway...all my life I have been talked down to and told by other people the better way to do everything. I know till the day we die that people will still try, that is just life. I am just not interested in following my childrens' pediatrician's daily life routines and what-not. We have our own, I don't care to raise my family the exact same way she does, regardless of whether or not she has a career field in taking care of children or not!