I want to be a lean and fit zombie

[zombie]

I had a Blogger blog that I was updating daily (under an assumed name of course), but I really want to get more involved in this community. Plus, I am keeping a food journal on Fitday, plus I report on another forum where there is a daily health issues thread (most of the people there are on low-fat or pretty low cal diets, so I am sure I am loved there when I post about eating bacon ) I want to keep up that reporting, but I also would like the ability to express some of the other things that come along with changing your WOE.

I expect to include various weight loss information I find, my feelings, thoughts, setbacks, and a once a day accountability post.

Comments are welcome.

[Tashi]

I'm looking forward to reading your journal

[hawkwife]

Zombie, good luck and

Hope you have success, and I'm looking forward to reading your journal.

Jen

[zombie]

Breakfast:
Tea and cream
Sausage
Fried eggs

Lunch:
Tilapia baked with lemon and dill
Spinach salad with TB bleu cheese dressing
Leftover sausages

Supper
Steak
Green beans with butter

[zombie]

Breakfast:
Omelet with Swiss and green beans
Tea with cream

Lunch
Salad with ham and provolone, ranch dressing
a few pork rinds

Supper
Pork steak
small salad

[zombie]

I am feeling a little bit better today, but I felt really horrible for a few days. I thought I had gotten over the "induction flu", but I may just be pushing myself a bit too hard considering how little sleep I've been getting.

I was trying to fall asleep last night, so I turned on the TV and got into a film. Everytime a commercial came on, it seemed to be about cookies or brownie mix that you can stick in your fridge, or whatever. I don't think it's an accident that these really high carb stuff are advertised so late at night. Just like I don't think it's an accident that a lot of fast food adverts are on during primetime. Still early enough for us to go drive and have "fourth meal" as Taco Bell puts it.

It's really easy for me to intellectualize all this. It doesn't really help when it comes down to having a high carb snack shoved in your face. I try to take things one day at a time, and I do think this diet is great with its hunger suppression and lack of cravings. But part of me wants to keep this as clean as possible and worries about the pitfalls I've had in the past.

But I don't know what sweet would even taste like now. I've had a total of 3 Splenda packets since I started this (some herbal tea needs a sweet boost to me, but I try it first). I think my sensitivity to sweetness is so high that when I was shopping yesterday, the whole store smelled sweet. I walked down the cereal aisle to avoid congestion and the smell was overwelmingly sweet.

I do worry about introducing sweet stuff later. I have a recipe for a pumpkin casserole that can use Splenda. I have put off making it (even though it would be induction legal and I have the pumkin) because I am afraid of any sugar cravings after it.

Yes, I do think about dieting and food way too much. One of the first nights of induction I dreamt about eating a huge cake with cream frosting, and I don't even like cream frosting. A few days ago I had a dream where I actually said to Mr. Zombie, "Oh we shouldn't buy this. I can't eat it on Induction>" Atkins on the friggen brain.

[zombie]

Breakfast:

• Crustless quiche
• Tea with light cream

Lunch:

• Catfish with lemon and dill
• Salad with homemade bleu cheese dressing
• 5 pork rinds

Supper

• Roasted chicken breast
• mixed green salad with ranch and bleu cheese crumbles

Total carbs:12 Net:9.5

[zombie]

Forgot to do one of these yesterday, so I will do both weekend days here:

Saturday:
Tea with light cream (2 tsp)
Mushroom quiche (crustless)
Chef's salad with ham and provolone and Bleu chese dressing
Broccoli and sirloin steak
2 slices of cheese (one melted on broccoli, one with rinds)
pork rinds

Sunday:
Tea with light cream (2 tsp)
Mushroom quiche
Rinse and repeat on the quiche for lunch
1.75 ounces of ham wrapped in a slice of provolone for mini snack
bunless cheeseburger and salad with peppercorn ranch
rinds (less than an ounce) dipped in a bit of sour cream for mini-snack 2
ginger tea with Splenda

[zombie]

Our ISP was messed up last night so I couldn't post yesterday's (Monday's) menu until today:

Breakfast:
Bunless cheeseburger
Salad with ranch (low carb)

Lunch:
Tuna salad mixed with pork rinds on mixed greens

Snack:
Pork rinds and a bit of cream cheese

Dinner:
Bunless cheese burger with ranch and small salad

[zombie]

1/2 an avocado, 0 carb sausage links, tea with light cream

crab salad on mixed greens with celery

left over sausages for a snack

Scrambled eggs with mushrooms, cheese, and a mixed green salad with ranch dressing

Lowest calorie day since I've been doing this. 1400 according to Fitday. Tommorrow's menu's got a pork chop and either chicken or steak.

Excercised (medium aerobics) for about 25 minutes today

[zombie]

Brunch:
Pork rinds, salad with ranch, avocado and a bit of bleu cheese crumbles, a pork chop

Dinner: Sirloin steak, salad with ranch

Snack: Iced coffee with cream (reward for sticking to plan 2 weeks), bacon

Did around 30 minutes of exercising.

[zombie]

Thurs:
Tea with cream, bacon
Salad with cheese (not sure Fitday is incomplete), chicken breast
Steak and small salad
slice of cheese for snack

Friday:
Tea with cream
Chef salad with turkey, cheese, and homemade dressing
Bunless cheese burger
Sausage and small salad with homemade dressing and cheese

Didn't realise I had 3 servings of cheese yesterday. Will cut down. Hard when salad dressing is made with bleu cheese (a lot less than an ounce per serving though). So like 2 and then some yesterday. 3 today. So, yeah. I like to keep cheese under 2 servings. Oh well.

[zombie]

B:Tea, light cream, sausage, cheese, mushroom omelet
Snack: Sausage
Lunch: small Chef salad, bleu cheese dressing, mini meat-loaf
Dinner Large chef salad
2 splendas in drinks

[zombie]

Breakfast:
I had some fried eggs (2 xl) with Muenster (1 oz) and two stalks of celery dipped in dressing (blue cheese)

Lunch was a turkey tenderloin with bacon and a salad (spinach, ranch)

Dinner was fried sandwich steaks (2 servings) with sautéed sweet yellow pepper (woah was that sweet) and a slice of cheese.

According to FitDay:
Cals: 1374 Carbs: 17 Protein: 101

Add two carbs for Splenda.

[zombie]

I drank some coffee this morning, which is the third non-decaf coffee I've had since I started on the third. I actually prefer tea now, but I still plan to do the once a week small iced coffee from D&D. Unsweetened of course. I wish I could drink things black like I used to way back when I lost all the weight in my early 20s.

I don't know if I am a caffeine addict. I didn't go through withdrawal, but I had been down to around 1 cup a day before I started Atkins. While I believe in the detox nature of Induction (just as I believe in water fasting), it was hard to give up everything at once. At least last year there was an area store that sold seltzer or club soda at a reasonable price. I am putting off diet soda. I get addicted to them. I don't think it's the caffeine as much as some sort of taste that strikes me as perfect. Years ago it was Diet Mountain Dew. Then Diet Dr. Pepper. Recently it was the Jazz sodas. I can't even touch Diet Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper any more. I wonder if I'd feel the same about Jazz.

I do think a lot about food and why I eat things. I know exactly why I got fat. I am not a genetic thing for me I don't think. It's totally environmental. My mother used poor portion control when I was little (because *her* portion control is poor mainly I think). And then I had to eat everything on my plate. Hubby and I will have to really think about how we approach food when we have kids.

But my weight isn't just about portion control. That I can deal with, I think. I weigh and/or measure everything. I think as this WOE progresses, I will learn more and condition myself to reset that expectation of what a meal is. My weight is about a lot about my roller coaster of cravings and preferences. What does a quart of chocolate milk give me physically and/or mentally (or emotionally) that a quart of water doesn't? It's not just taste because I actually prefer the tastes of some water over chocolate milk. Seriously. A really nice mineral water with a good natural carbonation is something I'd take over the same amount of chocolate milk any day. But why did I make the opposite choice so many times? I adore raw vegetables. I've even been on a raw food diet and would happily still be on it if I didn't feel like I was starving constantly. And frankly, raw foods in the winter kinda takes the joy out of that diet. But I chose to eat something like a Hot Pocket or pasta a lot more times

Maybe I hate myself and I was trying to kill myself. Maybe that food reminded me of something when I was a baby or whatever. Maybe it's umani. But the thing is, I am never satisfied. Satisfaction for me is not usually based on physical fullness. I try to focus on it. But satisfaction for me is eating until I cannot eat more.

Because this diet helps with cravings, and ketosis really does make it so I am rarely hungry, it gives me an edge and the tools I need to resist it. But I am not truly satisfied. I could eat a half a cow right now, but I am not hungry.

I wonder if this is the difference between fat people and skinny people. It's not just cravings, self control, or hunger. There's something else. I wonder if it ever resets itself. I don't remember it ever resetting when I lost when I was younger, but it was under different methods.