Here's to being a HOT mom in 2007!

[hawkwife]

Well, here I go. I have been in and out of these boards for months now. I guess it's my turn to start a journal. I am 28 y/o stay at home mother of 2, and I always put myself last (as most women do). My husband jokes, and tells me not to be "burnt toast", so...now I am doing something for me. I have held onto this extra weight for too long!

So, with the help of everyone here, I know I can do this. I have gone on and off Atkins, and I feel SOOOO much better when I eat LC. My husband is very supportive, so I know I can do this...I have to, for me.

I have a great life, I just want to make it better. I want to feel great when I get up, I want to set an example of health for my kids, I want to feel beautiful with my husband...all these things can be accomplished.

So, if you've come to read my journal, feel free to write me a line!! I love to meet new people who are working towards the same goal.

I guess I wanted a place to get everything out. Someplace I could vent, and someplace just to get support...

[hawkwife]

Here goes another day. Yesterday was great, no cheating and I walked 2 mi. on the treadmill. Need to be better about getting in my water. Otherwise, a great day.

Trying to get back from going off plan this weekend. I know I could have made better choices, but it was Easter and I wanted to taste all the food I had made for my family. Also we celebrated ds's first b-day. So, of course I made a cake! Oh well...get back in the saddle huh?!

[Tylar_Connar]

hi, i am 28 year old sahm of two as well. Best of luck..you can do it!!

[hawkwife]

Tylar, thanks for coming to see me! Best of luck to you too!

Jen

[hawkwife]

Ok, so today has been pretty good so far. This am I had a hb egg, and for lunch a nice green salad with shredded cheese, cubed ham, and ranch. Starting my forth 16 ounce glass of water right now. Will try to get in my usual 2 mi. on the tradmill tonight also.

[hawkwife]

Today was great! I managed to come in way under carbs, and fot in 7 huge glasses of water. Also walked 2 mi. on the tradmill. I feel really good about myself, not to mention physically I feel better. Just hope I can keep this up this time!!!

I am so sick of losing weight, then getting side tracked. I try not to be hard on myself, but I REALLY REALLY want this. I guess that's what it takes...how much do you really eant this?? Is getting thin and healthy worth giving up certain foods? Yes, of course it is...but sometimes it is hard to change habits you've had for years and years.

I will really be struggling in 2 weeks when I go visit my mom with my 2 kids. I love to visit, but she always seems to sabatoge me. She constantly has cookies, candy...any junk you can think of on hand.

I know I am in control of what I put in my mouth, I just need to always believe that, and not feel guilty about doing something good for me. Like when she wants to take the kids to Friendly's. Well, that's just what grandmas do. I can have a salad there. I guess I am just scared of going off plan and not getting back on again for like 2 months. Lord knows that seems to be the pattern. And when I finally was just starting to like what I saw in the mirror again...I got pregnant again. So, I REALLY want to finish this this time!

This is MY life, and I am in control of it. I need to do what I feel is best and not get pressured into something I know I'll regret later. Please, any prayers are welcome. Thankfully I have 2 more weeks until I leave. If I can stay cheat-free until then, I think it will be ok.

[hawkwife]

Doing well today. A little disappointed though. I finally weighed and I am up 3 pounds. UUUUHHHH! I am mad at myself. But, I chose to binge out on junk for Easter and this is what I get. Not gonna get me off the wagon. No more "planned cheats" for me. I have learned my lesson. This is a way of life. Not just to get thin, but to STAY thin. Just a little worried about when I go home in 2 weeks. Hopefully I will be strong enough by then to forgo any temptation.

BF hb egg
L salad with shredded cheese and ranch
D ???

So far today, on forth 16 ounce glass of water

I WILL do this!! I have to...for me.

[imjustpeachy]

Hey Jen!

I bet you will be in a much better mindset by the time you go home. Two weeks on this plan and alot changes! I mean, if I can walk past a bag of M&M's and peeps and not even bat an eye, anything is possible! Take a bunch of things with you so that you can walk away from the junk food and grab your own "on-plan" snack. Almonds (plain or w/ Splenda) or pork rinds (w/ sour cream). Anything to get you through!

And if you go to Friendly's you don't have to have just a salad. You can have a bunless burger or a bunless grilled chicken sandwich. And according to Friendly's website, coming April 16th, they are going to have "Big. Bold. Burgers." Now you should hope you go there!! Just eat slow so while they are enjoying their ice cream (which ALL grammas give their grandkids) you can savor your beef.

Hope you're having a great day!! Don't let that 3lbs get you down. I gained 4.5-ish this past weekend and already lost 2. You CAN do it!!

[hawkwife]

Hey Peachy, you found me!!

I am feeling much better about this woe everyday. I think everyday it gets a little easier. Yesterday was another great day. I drank my water, stayed way under carbs and walked another 2 mi. Weighed myself this am, and I am back to siggy weight of 216...what a RELIEF!!!

I have definately learned my lesson! No more planned cheating. I will just have to learn to substitute. It will be challenging for me, but I know I can do it--even as a self-admitted junk food junkie.

I will just not try to think too far ahead, because that has caused some bad binges in the past. Like, it seems like there is always an occation. Next month is my birthday, then mother's day, then my husband's graduation from graduate school. The next month is our anniversary... Oh well, see what I mean? I just need to take it one day at a time, and not obsess over what obstacles the future may hold.

I've said it before, I am in control of my own life and what I put in my mouth. Now I need to listen to myself!

[hawkwife]

Been doing pretty well today. Although I do feel kinda guilty I ate a couple servings of pork rinds. I just needed something with a great crunch. I didn't overdo it, but I know they must have a lot of sodium in them. Will just have to drink extra water to flush it out.

Other than that, it's been a perfect day. DH is away until Sunday for work. I miss him, but sometimes it's a little easier to stay on plan when you only have to cook for yourself. So, we'll see how the next few days go.

Busy, busy, busy. I am putting our house back together after the nightmare-of-a-tiling job we did in our kitchen this weekend. But, I know I will feel better once everything is cleaned up again.

[hawkwife]

Weighed this am, and I'm down another pound! I know it's great, but no matter how fast it comes off, seems like it's never fast enough for me. At least dh is away until Sun. afternoon. Weekends are my weakest!!! And it always seems like we talk eachother into something naughty like pizza, or takeout. So, won't be dealing with those type of temptations Sat. night. Just hope I can keep going like this. I will feel a lot better if I can see a "1" for the first nimber instead of a "2". Been a long time since I've been under 200. I guess it was when I got preg. with ds...he just turned 1 yesterday.

[hawkwife]

Well, the weekend is half over, and I am doing well. Got a little sidetracked last night...whoops! I went over to my neighbors to watch her kids for her for a little bit, then off to shop for groceries. When I got home, she had left me a bottle of wine...how sweet! So, I opened it and had some...oh well. Weighed this morning, and I was down to 214!

[hawkwife]

Well here I am again hanging my head! I have been cheating all day!!! Don't even know why. I know part of it is because I am SOOOOO tired, and no real desire to eat on plan today.

But dh made my day when he came home from his trip today and said "you look thinner!" WOW...that is soo exciting!! So, for the rest of the night, nothing but WATER!!! Will also try to get in my 2 mi. walk.

Everday is a new chance to make a change.

[imjustpeachy]

Hey Jen! Hang in there! YOU CAN DO THIS!! The water and a walk are a good way to re-start!

I know this WOE is hard. Much, much harder than just popping into the kitchen (or drive-thru) for a quick snack. The key is planning ahead. Maybe not for a whole week of eating. Try just a day. The night before, decide what you will eat the next day and get it all ready. Give yourself a few options in case you change your mind. Then, when its time to eat, everything that you should have will already be there waiting for you.

Imagine how you are going to feel as you get thinner and thinner. I have only lost about 14lbs so far, but I am feeling better already. I was able to bend down today to pick something off the floor w/o my back killing me. I assumed that some of my back problems were from my weight, but now I know!

I need to get back to work, but I will be thinking about you. Don't give up!!

[hawkwife]

Hey Peachy, thanks for visiting me! Finally got an avatar pic up of me with the kiddies.

I know I just need to stick with it. I do try to keep stuff on hand, no excuse for today, just laziness. I do have tuna, green salad mix, veggies, ham, and hb eggs ready...so I guess there is no excuse for me today!

All I can do is try to be a little better each day I guess. As long as I do better than the day before, I am making progress.

Feel better about going home Friday. Talked to my mom tonight. She knows my weight has always been an issue for me, and that I am REALLY trying this time. She said she always has plenty of groceries to make salads, and she won't make any desserts. That made me feel better. I know she won't conciously try to sabatoge me now.

Stop by whenever you can. I like to talk with you!! Have a great night!!!

Jen

[hawkwife]

Doing well so far today. Haven't eaten yet, know I need to have an egg or something even if I'm not hungry. Just feel so guilty about cheating yesterday. I know I can't starve myself, that is certainly not healthy and will open up a whole new can of worms, but I guess I have a habit of not eating the day after a cheat. I think it's a way of punishing myself. Need to put a stop to that.

Looking forward to going home at the end of the week. The kids and I will be staying at my parent's house for a week. Will also get to see my brother, and my inlaws. Luckily they live about 15 min. from my family, so that will be nice for the kids.

DH will be away on another trip for work while I'm gone. Don't feel too bad for him because he's going to a conference in Las Vegas...LUCKY. I've never been, but he has.

Well, hopefully I will have a great week this week. That would be a nice way to start a vacation!! And if I can eat clean on vac. that will REALLY be great. Not as scared as before about eating off plan after talking with my mom last night. Kinda relieved she knows I'm trying to lose this weight, and be healthier. Now I feel like there is no pressure to eat junk. Sounds kinda weird I know, but sometimes I feel that way.

Will check back later. Oh, by the way, I ran 2 mi yesterday!!

[Lulu Belle]

It's good to hear your family is being supportive! Maybe just to be safe you may want to take a few things to your parents, just to be on the safe side. Even though they "know" you're eating healthier, it doesn't mean they will be prepared to feed you - your way. Have a blast !

[hawkwife]

Lulu, Hi! Thanks for coming to visit me!! I think you are right. I am gonna stop at the store before I get there and pick up a few things. Still looking forward to the visit, but I will be kinda relived when I get back home.

Well, today I've been to the dealership and had the emissions test done on the vehicle. Now have to get paperwork together and send to dmv for new car tags. I HATE doing this kind of stuff! Oh well, at least won't have to do it for another 2 years.

I guess the rest of the day, I will be finishing up laundry, and starting to get out stuff to take on the trip. Seems like it takes longer than the vacation to get everything in order and pack 2 kids and a dog!!

So far today I've had 3 BIG glasses of water, and a large salad with ham, cheese, and ranch...YUMMMMM.

Will check in later.

[hawkwife]

OK, Here I am... barely hanging on. Don't know what is going on. I am so sick by what I see in the mirror, but seem to fail everytime I try this thing. Sometimes feel like giving up and accepting being fat FOREVER. Other times I want to kick my own @$$ and say "Straighten up!!!"

Wish I could just DO IT!!! Sometimes it feels like 60 pounds is SOOOOOO much, and it will never some off. Other times I feel bad because I know there are heavier people than me with hundreds to lose and they keep positive and reach their goal. I guess theis has just been a rough week, and I kinda think what's the point in getting back on now...I'm going home to NY in 2 days on vacation. And I have NEVER been able to keep on track when I visit my parents. Not that it's anyone's fault...of course it's mine.

I guess I am just weak. I look at pictures of me when I was thinner, and I get so sad, because that's what I want to be again and it seems so unattainable sometimes. Oh, I guess I've just been having a 2 day pitty party for myself. Weighed in today and I'm back up...of course to 220.

But, then I think hey--that's still 10 pounds of fat I've lost. And if I can do that 6 more times I'll be at goal. I need to stop talking myself into cheating and making excuses for it. Do I want to taste something for a few minutes, and feel bad about myself afterwards...or do I want to learn to change my habits and still taste good things(just not sugary things) and feel better about myself, and look better. Oh...the voices inside my head!!!

Unfortunately seems like I like to talk myself into eating bad stuff thinking it will make me feel better. Time to get positive again...and not think too much into the future. So what if I go home for a visit, is my mom gonna hold me down and shove junk in my mouth??? I know I am ultimately in control of my life. I need to make this happen now, before I waste another year being fat!!!

[Cutelilsunflower]

Looks like you already ARE a HAWWWTTT mom! You're doing great--keep on keepin' on! We all go through this...don't give up...come back here and post your emotions....if anyone can 'understand' , WE can!! KUTGW!!

[Lulu Belle]

You and your kids are beautiful! And the good news is you know fighting for control over that darn food is hard, you sound like you're ready for battle!
You've certainly got the right attitude, 10 pounds, 6 times, right on!

[hawkwife]

Bree, awwww, thanks! Thanks for visiting me too! Come back often.

Eileen, thanks for the words of encouragement!!! Lord knows I need 'em!

Thanks so much to both of you for coming to visit me!!! It lets me know I am not in this battle alone...so many others are too. Gotta go, but I'll chack back later.

Jen

[imjustpeachy]

Hey Jen!

I'm just checkin' up on you! I love your avatar pic. It's so cute! It's nice to have a face to put with the name.

Originally Posted by hawkwife

Stop by whenever you can. I like to talk with you!!

Aw, thanks!

I sittin' here watching the Africam, trying to get down the rest of my water for today. I'm not gonna make it. Tomorrow I will start earlier and drink more often I guess.

Originally Posted by hawkwife

OK, Here I am... barely hanging on.

We are right here under you, Jen! Just put your feet on our shoulders and we'll help you hold on! I know that 60 pounds looks so impossible, but just like you said, make some mini-goals. Instead of 10, try 2. I bet you can do that, no problem. Each time you lose two, whether it takes you 4 days or a week or two weeks, roll on the floor your kids and giggle. Let them experience the excitement with you. Heck, tell me you lost 2 and I'LL roll around and giggle with my kids, too!!! Really. I will. Just like this >>>

As far as the cheats, those can be a problem. I am not sure how to get around the temptations, especially since your kids are not self-sufficient yet where as they can get their own food. I guess maybe if you know you are going to be in a situation where you will be tempted, plan ahead. My favorite "treat", which I know is not ok for induction but I eat anyway (only when needed) because it is better than the non-LC food is sweetened almonds. I take raw almonds and put them in a skillet w/ some splenda and cinnamon and keep tossing them around until the almonds are slightly toasted and sound like they are getting dry. Then I pour them onto a plate to cool, pop them into a baggie and Voila! I bet you can find a recipe for spices to add to make them savory instead, too, if you need more of a salt/crunch fix.

Other than the almonds, you really just have to prepare your mind ahead of time. Get it in your head that you just can't handle the carbs, physically or emotionally. They physically are not good for your body and make you gain weight. Emotionally they make you feel bad. They make you feel guilty and sad. You don't need that. You have two adorable kids and a wonderful (I'm assuming ) husband who I am sure would love to see you feel good about yourself.

I hope your trip home goes well for you. I have a feeling it will. I will talk to you more before you go, I hope.
And by the way, congrats on that 2 mile run!

Ok, my water is done and so am I. One last trip to the potty, hee hee, and I'm out like trout!

G'night!

[hawkwife]

Alexis, Thanks so much!!! I know you are right about making mini goals. I think I seem to get overwhelmed when I think about how much total I want to lose. I also know I set unrealistic goals for myself---that's something I need to change!

Another thing...I am NOT going to weigh everyday...at least not for a while. I have become a slave to the scale. Seems like if I stay the same too long, or happen to gain a touch--for any reason--I want to give up because it seems like I'm not making any progress. And if I am down, I seem to let up on working out, or I'll allow myself to cheat thinking I've done so well. So, I have decided to put the scale away...at least for a little while. Maybe a good time to weigh is when I start seeing a change in the way my clothes fit?

Anyway, gotta go--little boy does not want to take a nap, so I'd better go get him. Check back later!!

Jen

[Cutelilsunflower]

I have a love/hate with the scale, too. I just bought a new one and I've been on it most days. But I decided to just post weights on Tuesdays like I used to. Putting the scale away will probably give you back some sanity! Cause remember-you ARE shrinking!

TGIF!!