Jennifer's Journal

[TXLoser]

Hi Jennifer

Is the George Stella chili chicken in his cookbook?
I have 2 of his cookbooks and may have to look for this...it sounds yummy

[Jennifer]

Here's the recipe Diane. It's delicious & I highly recommend it

GEORGE STELLA'S EASY CHEESY CHILI CHICKEN
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons cilantro
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon cumin
2 teaspoons salt
1 clove garlic, chopped
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon cayenne
4-5 boneless chicken breasts
1/4 cup green pepper, julienned
2 tablespoons red onion, diced
1/4 cup Roma tomato, diced, about 1/2 small
4 ounces colby-jack cheese, shredded
Stir together first 8 ingredients in a medium bowl. It will be a thick paste. Add chicken and rub seasoning mixture all over meat until coated evenly. Place chicken on a foil-lined baking sheet. Arrange vegetables over chicken. Bake at 400º 20 minutes or until chicken is just done. Do not overcook. Top with cheese and return to oven until melted, about 5 minutes.
Makes 4-5 servings
Per 1/4 Recipe: 321 Calories; 18g Fat; 35g Protein; 4g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 3g Net Carbs
Per 1/5 Recipe: 283 Calories; 15g Fat; 33g Protein; 3g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 2g Net Carbs

[TXLoser]

Thanks Jennifer.
So how are you doing? Getting back on track?

[Jennifer]

Back on plan, back on the treadmill, back on track.

It's been a rollercoaster for the past 6 weeks or so. On plan for 2 days, off for 2; on plan for 1, off for 3. But I'm happy to say that I've been back on plan for a week & I feel great. It's wonderful to not feel bloated all the time, not to have my stomach churning when I go to bed, not to have my feet throbbing when I wake up. I'm also so much more focused without all the junk in my system.

I'm staying off the scale till 4/1 & hopefully will be at or lower than I was before this all started. My clothes fit well again, so I know I'm getting there. I'm still a little fuller through the bust and lower abs, which is odd because those are the first places I gain, but also the first places I lose.

So, how/why did all this start to begin with? Well, I started having a Chik-Fil-A milkshake on an almost daily basis when I was down with a sinus infection. I felt like crap, and I used them for comfort. Then, the meds that finally made me feel better (after 2 others didn't) gave me a ferocious appetite. Well, I already had a bunch of sugar in my system, so it was easy to continue with the junk rather than eating well.

In the midst of this I celebrated my one year Atkinsversary (1/30). So, I decided that I would "celebrate" with a free meal. Again, probably not something I would have done without all the junk in me. So then I decided might as well wait till 2/1 to start again. I was on plan for a few days, then realized Ash Wednesday was 2/6. I could give up anything not on Induction for Lent! Back to junk I went. It was always something - Valentine's Day, Oscar night, DH's grandpa's birthday, my cousin's birthday, a baby shower. Each time the binges got easier and longer. I even reverted back to purging quite a few times. That scared me, but I just couldn't stop. All I could think about was eating, even though I wasn't always enjoying it* Sometimes I felt like I was forcing myself to eat, but I couldn't stop. That's compulsion for you. Thank God there was some part of my mind that knew it had to stop and that part was able to finally take over. On 2/25 I got back on plan and haven't wavered since.

So, what have I learned? I learned that junk food is not my friend. It affects not only my body but my mind in ways I don't like and don't want to happen again. I also learned that unfortunately the binge monster is not dead, it was just dormant for a while and I have to really be on guard not to set it free again. And that special occasions are special no matter what you eat or don't eat. The main thing I have to focus on is having a plan in case this happens again. I hate to admit it, but DH & I are each other's worst enablers. If either of us are in that mode we can't be there to be the voice of reason for the other - we just go along.

Right now I'm just accepting that it happened. I'm not perfect & guess what the earth is still revolving. Go figure

*I must admit that the Gold Brick eggs & Reese's eggs I ate were worth every bite

[Livywilltim-mom]

Hi Jennifer!

Good for you for getting back on plan, and for coming here to share your story.

I can totally relate to feeling out of control with eating after you go off plan. It is so similar to what I recently went through.

We are here to get it right!

Peace friend

[Jennifer]

It was a pretty good week. Eating was great till mid-week when DH got a promotion, raise & bonus! We went out to celebrate & I had a glass of wine with dinner. No biggie. His birthday was yesterday & he wanted me to bake brownies for him so I did Friday & had one. Only one. It was good but not great & I didn't have any cravings. Sat night we went out to celebrate his birthday. Again, a glass of wine with dinner & I had 3 bites of cake. Again, cake was good but not great; we left 1/2 of the piece there. Yesterday he had a last blow out including Girl Scout cookies. He left 4 Thin Mints & I ate them last night. Once again, cookies good but not great. I'm sensing a pattern

When I was off the rails last month, 2 things I ate were brownies & Thin Mints, and I couldn't get enough of them. I don't know why this weekend was different. Was it the difference in my mindset? Is my palate adjusting back, after a couple of l/c weeks, to not really enjoying sweets? Either way, I'm truly grateful for not having cravings today.

[Jennifer]

Yesterday Teresa123 (who is awesome & has lost almost 200 lbs ) posted this in our challenge thread re: sugar

I may have to "surrender" and give it up for life. I don't mean surrender in a defeatest way like I use to feel about it, but more of a victorious way. I'm not there yet and I haven't accepted it at all, but my thinking is starting to shift a bit and I'm seeing the freedom in letting go of something that has had such a disasterous impact on my life. I don't know if I'll ever get there--but to be free of that desire, to truly accept and understand that there is no benefit to eating sugar, and to not feel deprived not having it---that would be fantastic!

That really made me think. Think hard. Could I strive for that attitude? Am I that strong to even consider this, much less accomplish it?

I have to admit to myself, that at this moment, the answer is no. Maybe someday, but I can't even fathom it now.

In 2000-2001 I lost 150 lbs on Atkins in 1 year without a cheat. I didn't even drink a diet Coke I was so "clean". I was grouchy, resentful and honestly pissed at the world. And I snapped. Big time! I went on a 2-day binge that resulted in an 8 lbs gain. For the next 6 months or so I went back & forth from absolutely clean to all out bingeing, until by 2003, it will all bingeing with some fasting/Kimkins/Stillmans days (or hours) in between. By 1/07 I had gained all my weight back + 42 more.

Even though I went off the rails big time in Feb, I'm back on track and feeling better than ever about this woe. I honestly believe that eating much better than I did last time (when I lived on boneless, skinless chicken breasts) and allowing myself an occasional treat (Feb not withstanding) has made a huge difference in my attitude. I'm no longer mad at the world when I'm around sugar that I can't have, 'cause I can have it. Just have to work on making sure I don't lose control. A tall order to be sure. Maybe I'll have it down by the time I'm 80

[nicsweed]

wow u lost 150 pounds that is fantastic; but it had to come from the right place, when i lost 70 pounds on atkins the first time in one summer(4 months) i was pissed with everyone who was eating normal.....i was in a rut and i was tired of eating low carb, i was grilling a huge batch of burger patties with jalapeno chesse on the george forman, for the whole week and i would eat that every day......with salad and i mean every day, i dont think oneday went by that i didnt eat a pattie, i was so sick of them that when i achived the weight i desired i went on a binge and i relized that food didnt taste as good as i expected it was like all food lost it's luster; what had my love affair with food finaly come to a end.....Nope! My mind wouldnt let it, i think most of are struggles with food is because of are minds not with our stomach's, so u were right with ur feb-binge; it's over and done with, u put that moment behind u and move forward; sometimes it takes people years to do this, i commend you!

[Jennifer]

nicsweed! Thanks! I've lost 100+ pounds twice in my life & I wasn't about to have to go for a third. ITA that the majority of this struggle is in our minds. I'm so glad you posted to my journal. I hate that so many of us have this same struggle, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.

[Jennifer]

FIL is in town this weekend, and that means lots of eating out. Yesterday at dinner I had steak, salad, 3 onion rings, glass of wine, 1/2 piece of cheesecake & coffee

Tonight I'm going to try to do much better, especially in the dessert dept. I ate it beyond being satisfied, just because it tasted so good. Seriously, the best I've ever had. On the plus side, DH insisted on taking the leftover cake home & I haven't touched it. We liked the restaurant so much we're going back tonight. I'm going to get the shrimp (which I should have had last night since it was a Lenten Friday ) & a vegetable so I won't feel the need to fill up on starchy sides. There will be dessert because DH's grandpa doesn't feel like a meal is complete without it, but I plan to not be so piggy.

I could be happy eating this way forever. Great for maintaining but I'm far from there. Even though I felt I went a little overboard last night, I didn't binge & right now that's a victory for me.

[Jennifer]

yesterday:
b - leftover steak, coffee
l - none
d - 6 jumbo shrimp, couple bites of pasta, 3 spoons mac & cheese, glass of wine, 2 bites key lime pie, coffee
85.9 oz water, .5 can diet Coke, .5 can diet Dr. Pepper
30 minutes on treadmill

I feel much better about my choices last night. I kept my sweets bites to only 2 & didn't feel the compulsion I was starting to feel Friday night. I'm determined to be cheat free till we go to New Orleans Thursday, & while there I'm going to make a concentrated effort to make good choices. I'm going to post my menus to keep myself accountable.

[Jennifer]

HAPPY ST. PAT'S DAY!!!!!

Yesterday I bought size 18 shorts! They're a little tight, but 20 would have been too big. It will keep me out of the Easter candy at my mom's this weekend if nothing else I bought 4 pairs of shorts last year in mid-May before we went to Disney World. They were 28s and tight 26s, so I'm thrilled with the 18s. Losing 4-5 sizes in 10 months has made me a happy camper.

yesterday:
b - left over steak, coffee
l - chicken breast, salad
s - 2 hb eggs
d - taco salad, salad
104.9 oz water, .5 can diet Dr. Pepepr, 1 can diet Pepsi
exercise - fighing the crowds at HellMart

[nicsweed]

HI,JEN
I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN ABOUT A HOUR AWAY FROM HOUSTON,TX.....CONGRATS ON THE SIZE 18 SHORTS...NOW THATS A NSV...WHO NEEDS SCALES RIGHT...HAVE U HAD ANY COMPLICATION WITH HAVING UR GALLGLADER TAKEN OUT IS THEIR ANY CERTIN TYPES OF FOODS U CANT EAT.....I'M SO CAREFUL WHAT I EAT; BECAUSE ONLINE I READ SO MANY HORROR STORY'S....ALL NEGATIVE, I HAVE TO ADMIT I WAS A LITTLE SCARED BUT THEIR WAS NO WAY I COULD CONTBUE TO LIVE LIKE THAT IT WAS RUINING MY LIFE....I'M SO GLAD I'M BACK TO NORMAL!

[Jennifer]

I wasn't in the mood to bother with preparing food yesterday & nothing sounded good. I have some Atkins shakes about to expire, so I had them for 2meals yesterday.

b - Atkins shake, coffee
l - Atkins shake
d - corned beef brisket, cole slaw, salad
110 oz water
c25k w7d1

[Jennifer]

Still not in an eating mood. Very unusual for me

yesterday:
b - Atkins shake
l - none
d - corned beef brisket, salad
110 oz water, 1 can Fresca
toning DVD

[Jennifer]

We're leaving for New Orleans in a bit. I may have a free meal while there, but I'm not 100% sure. If I tell myself I can have it, I may not want it If I do have one, it will most likely be Friday since I only like seafood if it's fried. Linda Sue's meatless quiches have got me through Lent. I'll probably have at least a couple of tastes of gelato at my aunt's shop.

yesterday:
b - Atkins shake, coffee
l - corned beef brisket, salad
d - corned beef brisket
126.9 oz water, 16.9 oz diet citrus green tea, 16.9 oz crystal lite iced tea
w7d2 c25k

[Jennifer]

Trip to NO was mostly a success eating-wise. I could have done better, could have done worse. My water intake wasn't good at all, but we were on the go the whole time. I got in treadmill time each day except Mon, so I'm very proud of myself for that.

I'm going to try to remember what I ate while there

Thurs
b - bacon
l - none
d - 1/2 veggie omelet, 3 cups coffee, 4 tatstes gelato

Fri
b/l - other 1/2 veggie omelet
d - 1/2 grilled shrimp salad, 1/2 breve latte
60 minutes on treadmill

Sat
b - none
l - none
d - 1/2 grilled chicken salad, glass of wine, 1/2 breve latte
30 min on treadmill

Sun
b - shared other 1/2 grilled chicken salad w/DH, other 1/2 breve latte
l - 1 boiled crawfish, 1 mushroom, 4 mini Reeses pb cups
d - 1/4 crabcake, 2 fried calamari, salad, grilled portobello mushrooms, 2 bites chocolate lava cake, 1 bite blueberry cheesecake, 1 pot au chocolate, 3 cups coffee, 1 Reeses egg, 2 mini Reeses eggs, 2 mini KitKats, 1 bite Cadburt creme egg
30 minutes on treadmill

Mon
b - none
l - grilled chicken salad
d - 2 ham & swiss roll-ups, salad, ham & Swiss on French bread, 4 mini Reeses, 4 mini KitKats, piece of fudge

I'm most disappointed with myself with Monday. DH & I stopped for lunch at Cracker Barrel & I saw a sign for chocolate pudding pie & I decided I wanted some. Well, we had a terrible waitress & decided to forget dessert, but we bought a piece of fudge in their shop. We were 20 miles from the TX border, & I told DH I was going to be good once we hit TX so I had to eat my 1/2 of the fudge quickly. DH said I might as well wait till midnight to be good. Of course in my looking for any excuse mind, it sounded good to me.

I was actually going to stop w/the fudge & ate a perfectly l/c meal of 2 ham & Swiss roll-ups w/salad for dinner. But the wait till midnight idea had been put into my head, & I couldn't get the French bread & candy we had brought home out of my mind. Finally about 11:20 I ate some Reeses & KitKats & a ham & Swiss sandwich.

It's funny, one thing I always tell people when they ask for my advice, is to get on plan the minute you're ready no matter the day of the week or month, or even the time of day. And that's the advice I've been having the hardest time following myself lately. Today is one week till my 4/1 weigh-in, and I know that's a huge reason why I ate the candy, bread & fudge yesterday. It was almost as if yesterday didn't matter, but today will because it's exactly one week till I get on the scale. I know my OCD has a lot to do with it, but it's also just plain finding any excuse I can sometimes. Just like when I had my meltdown last month. I kept extending the day I was going to get back on plan till I found a "good" day to get back on plan. Good meaning a Monday or a day that was exactly __ weeks or months away from or since something else.

The candy has gone to work with DH & the French bread is stale so I'm safe. I have no cravings & no desire to go out for anything, I'm content with my Atkins shake, coffee & water, & I'll have a couple of ham & swiss roll-ups & a salad later for lunch.

[mikeysmommy33]

Hi Jenn
Just swinging by to say hello

[Jennifer]

Cheat free April is going well so far. Yesterday I craved a doughnut but didn't give in. That's a strange craving for me since I'm not a big fan to begin with

Lots of carbs today. Flax muffin for b/k. I bought some l/c tortillas yesterday since I had a coupon and had a ham & cheese wrap for lunch. Didn't add anything IMO, like the ham & cheese alone much better. Then DH & I were watching the Chefography of the "Ace of Cakes" guy & because of all the talk about cakes, chocolate & other pastries I ate an Atkins Endulge bar. The scale will probably be up tomorrow, need to eat very cleanly & drink lots of water!

b - flax muffin, coffee
l - ham & cheese wrap, salad
d - Alice Springs chicken, salad
s - Atkins Endulge Caramel Nut Chew bar
116.9 oz water, 16.9 oz bottle diet citrus green tea
30 minutes on treadmill; yoga DVD

[TXLoser]

Keep up the good work Jennifer!
Eating right and exercising!!!

[Jennifer]

I MADE IT TO ONEDERLAND!!!!!

OK, it's by the skin of my teeth, and I was sick a couple of days last week and barely ate, but I'm claiming it. Last time I was under 200 I immediately bounced up 6 lbs, so I'm staying off the scale till next Monday.

We're going on vacation at the end of the month, and I'm determined to eat cleanly, drink my water and exercise till then. The friends we're visiting are on diets too (not l/c), so I don't think it will be too hard staying on plan while away. Fat free food and non-junk food carbs don't tempt me at all.

[TXLoser]

CONGRATULATIONS JENNIFER!!!!!!!!

[ChaiLatté]

Just stopping by to tell you that you are inspirational!

[Jennifer]

Thanks Diane & Chai! This was a big threshold for me to cross

I snuck a peek at the scale this AM to make sure it wasn't broken I'm down another 2 lbs, but I'm sure it's because this weather is giving my sinuses fits & I'm not eating much. I weighed on both scales to make sure

yesterday:
b - Atkins shake, coffee
l - Atkins shake
d - chile releno casserole, salad
101.8 oz water, 1 can diet Coke
70 mins on treadmill

Taking the day off of exercise unless my head clears up later.

[luvslipstick]

Hi girlie just wanted to pop in and say HOWDY your doing so great Jen,keep it up


I've not been to my journal in forever bad me,doing good though