I know i can! I know i can!

[Lulu Belle]

Dear Journal,
This is my attempt to be accountable to myself.
I have done atkins 2 years ago , and i KNOW it works, i found once i really fell off the wagon it seemed like the wagon had really disappeared and it was impossible to get back on track.
With losing my way and finally quitting smoking (3 months!! YEA), i am back to my pre-atkins weight to the pound. Welll, to be honest, plus one pound.
That was my OH MY GOD moment.
So i am now 2 days into perfect induction, and praying that tomorrow will follow suit too. I know i have to plan ahead for success, if i don't the temptations are easy to endulge in, so realistically, why would i put myself through that this early in induction.
Ok. Ive pep talked myself into leaving the computer now and going and making my breakfast and lunch to take to work tomorrow. And so will begin day 3. Bring it on!

[Lulu Belle]

Well, Day 3.

95% "perfect". At work we had pizza, i skipped the crust, and ate the toppings, got a few weird looks. But i left the table feeling pretty good.
This time around i have decided i will not make any diet comments, (i didn't make many first time, but when people start wanting to know how you are losing weight , and then start tearing down what you are saying it's maddening) And i will just give the cutting back and exercising more speech.
For some reason people have a real problem with low carb eating. I mean seriously, there is not one single RULE that says you will die an awful death if you stop eating potatoes. It is so silly of me to try to avoid that conversation, but i know from last time how it turns out.

Well tomorrow is another day, and another day to prove to myself that i can control what i put into my body, because it is largely about nourishing the body, it's not ALL about the pleasure.

[Lulu Belle]

Day 4 has proved to be pretty great. I'm feeling good, and i've noticed that the heartburn that i seem to be dealing with daily when eating willy nilly has not appeared in a few days. At work we got out walking at breaktime, and then after work. Returning to regular walking feels so good. Especially this time of year, the air is so crisp and you feel so invigorated once you come in.
Last night my sweet husband came to me with a chocolate bar and a "here honey". I kindly gave it back and said i wasn't interested, he just looked at me, and said 'ok". I don't think he meant any harm, but it was just a forgotten moment. I guess it's the thought that counts.
I'm looking forward to finishing up week 1 of induction to hit the scale. I know the first week in mostly water loss, but it still feels amazing to see that flippin' needle move on the scale. For far too long it's been moving in the other direction.
I'm finding "self talking", is helping me prepare to trips to the lunch room at work. I'm preparing myself for what i will be facing when i walk in, and getting myself ready to walk past the former temptions. It'll all be fine.

[Lulu Belle]

Day 5 of induction was great. I got lucky enough to have lunch with a fellow lowcarber today while on a social visit. We had a great chat. I ended up skipping breakfast (due to a time issue) and have felt a bit off kilter cause i usually get a good dose of protein at breakfast, but...... I did pretty good the rest of the day. I suspect i had a bit too much salad between dinner and supper, but i think i'm not going to feel guilty about possible eating a little too much veggies. I guess that could put a bit of a slow down into induction, but i would think that when you're going from a high number of carbs daily to only 20 grams , a bit of extra carb friendly veggies shouldn't be too bad??
Anyone have any thoughts on that issue??
Anyhow, i should continue on with the days doings, and tomorrow i'll have to perk up my water consumption. It had to be curtailed today due to the fact i was in the car a large majority of the day, and finding a restroom every 20 minutes is just not kosher!
I'm still looking forward to my official 1 week weigh in, although i may have cheated and hopped on the scale today . Regardless i will only change my weight stats once a week on weigh day. Even if it's bad news i'll change it......I guess. Come on day 6, Im waiting, whacha' got/?????

[Lulu Belle]

Day 6 was ok. Actually i was perfect until i decided one choc.chip cookie really wouldn't hurt. I guess time will tell. I don't know if that is a will power issue or a sabatage issue. I just have to finish out the rest of the day on a high note.

One positive note for the day , is i have noticed that i'm not hungry as much. The appitite has definately calmed down.

Well tomorrow is day 7. A new day (hopefully cookie free!)

[Lulu Belle]

Day 7 was good. I planned well today, breakfast and dinner were packed for work so that takes the guess work out of what i can eat that is suitable at work. Supper was good too. While everyone noshed on potatoes and gravey with the roast pork, i had a lovely salad with mine. It's a good thing i love salad. I think the best thing is how a different salad dressing completely changes the flavor of the salad. Loveeee the homemade dressings.
Tomorrow is official weighin. Can't wait. This should be great motivation to plow into week 2 of induction.

[Lulu Belle]

First official weigh in (that's not counting all the side trips to the scale!) Down 6 pounds!!! It's great and i am pleased, it is just the motivation to slide into this week. I know it is most likely all water loss, but if it keeps on then we've moved into real loss!

This has begun as a truely crappy day. We woke to a oddly ill cat this morning that we rushed to the vet and we had to have him put to sleep. So the kids are home on first day of march break, and very upset, and i'm feeling no better. It' s so hard to explain to them that it is hard to do what's best for the cat even though it hurts us so much. It could be a long day.

[Lulu Belle]

It was a awful rush this morning,due to trying to get breakfast and lunch together at the last minute. I spent that time cursing myself for not getting prepared last night.
Today was a good eating day, and when i made my supper salad, a ,made one for tomorrow too. I feel good about that because i know i'm ready for the day ahead, and i have planned to succeed.
Something i do need to do tonight before i head to bed is take 5 minutes and go over the veggie list. I'm doing good, but i'm questioning which list some of my veggies go on. I've reread most of the book, but skipped the lists because i just assumed i remembered them perfectly. I'm doubting myself now.

[Lulu Belle]

It was a good day almost. I had my meals prepared last night. And supper turned out well too. I'm kicking my butt cause i grabbed a small square the mother in law brought over the other day. I'm trying to let it go, but i'm frustrated with myself knowing that stupid little square may hold me in limbo for a couple of days. NO, it was not so good that it was worth it, but at the moment nothing else would do, and i couldn't seem to convince myself that walking away was the right option. Tomorrow will be better.

As i said , i'm disappointed in my lack of will, but i don't want to get anal over a little slip. That's not a good direction to go in either.

[LovesDivine]

Hi there Lulu, sounds like you have the right attitude! Don’t beat yourself up over a cookie or a square (of what?). Just try to learn how to resist. I will go get a boiled egg, some natural SF peanut butter, maybe a Dannon lc yogurt…just something to get my mind off the cookie or whatever is tempting me.

Keep up the good work!!

[Lulu Belle]

Well...... i'd like to say today was better. But (BEWARE!!! FALLING EXCUSES) i took the kids to the movies ....Need i say more. Well i'm not going to.

Tomorrow i'm going to take the kids up to visit my family overnight. I'm already planning on stopping at the grocery store to pick up the food i will need cause i know they won't be fully equiped to feed me "odd" ways.
I hate obsessing. But what ticks me off is when i did this a year and a half ago it was super easy and i dropped 35 pounds in no time. My will power was amazing, and i rocked. This time i'm just rolling. I really hope i can find my zing again.

(Thanks for the encouragement and understanding Lisa!)

[Lulu Belle]

Friday,
I'm feeling mentally strong today , and full of the good stuff. I'm in the process of packing up the kids to go away for the weekend. Hopefully the husband will not let the place fall apart in a day and a half! As i said yesterday, i will stop at the grocery store before we get to the parents.
Yep. feeling in control today, i like it.

[Lulu Belle]

Well, i completely flubbed up March, so lets give April a fresh try. Though i haven't written in weeks i check the site daily, and i came to some realizations. I love this website, and get a lot of great info here, i enjoy the "community". But the more i read the more i realized some people are so wrapped up in LC, that they are (or seem to be) obsessive about it . Deathly ill, and very upset they hadn't lost a pound. That was a bit of a turning point. I don't want to be like that. That is not an excuse for me screwing up, it was just a eye opener that i don't want my life to revolve around a number. YES, i want that number to come down, but i don't want it to rule my life.
Sooo, i spent some time thinking about how to approach this. I know low carb works, i lost 35 pounds last time. I have joined the gym at work and have started going. My goal is to work up to going at least 5 days a week, and this shouldn't be too difficult since i'm at work . It will take some encouragement on my own person to do it, and mean having my gym equiptment with me. The same goes for food planning. I know that at work the food is amazing, especially when a certain cook is on, his food is digustingly good, the portions are huge, and did i mention the food is amazing? This means i MUST not leave myself lurking about the lunch room with out my OWN lunch. And the scale. The scale. The scale. I am SO sick of being it's slave. It will be near impossible, but i really want to only go near it once a week. Can i? I'm sure going to try.
I really want to be more fit by the time summer rolls around so i can be more active with the kids. One of my darlings informed me i was nearly as "fat" as his father. Yea i was pissed that he was so rude, but i was hurt that i let myself gain the weight back. I guess that should be a nugget of motivation.
Anyway lets get this started again. I am now off to check the fridge, atkins food list in hand, then off to the grocery store to make sure i'm planning for success. God willing.

[Lulu Belle]

Hmmm, two post in one day!, I don't think this will be the last one today. As the first day back inducting it all weighs heavy on the mind. I got the grocery shopping finished and restocked on veggies, that should do for a few days. I also tried to find foods to produce neutral suppers for the family so my temptation isn't so great, after a week i'll add their potatoes back in for them, but not today. Thank god they all like salad with their meals cause that's what they'll be getting for a couple of days until i can reign myself in.

I switched over to Splenda about a month ago, and i'm pretty sure it is not agreeing with me. I started getting pains in my lower left abdomen, and i've been "testing" myself, i went off it a few days and it subsided considerably, tried a dose of it and was right back to the pains again. So today i bought some Steivia that everyone raves about. I havent used it yet, but i tasted it and liked the flavour, i can't wait to see how it tastes in my coffee. I'm sure i'll be back later.

[Lulu Belle]

3rd post of the day, boy do i feel like a loser. I made it through the kids and supper. Went well, the only hmmm, was a bit of carrot in with the beef and broccoli. Not gonna concern myself with that. I was sitting there thinking some creamcheese, stevia, and cinnamon would be nice, but i managed to walk away, promising myself, "maybe later tonight".
So here i am , inducting again. My next move should be to get my breakfast and lunch packed up, i have to work tommorrow. AND my gym duds. Big SIGH. Lets move into the night.

[Lulu Belle]

So far today has went well. l ,made it through breakfast and dinner , and i can be happy with how that went. Now it navigate supper and the kids! I've got tons of salad fixins', so i'll just sneak some of the meat from the main dish to go with the greenery!
Skipped the gym today , but went out for a 40 minute moderately hard walk with a friend. I figured getting out in the fresh air would be better than the stuffy old gym . Tonight i'll also put some floor time in too. Back later....

[kmf1028]

back!!!!! I too fell off the wagon big time, but I am back!!!!!! Good luck and KUTGW - I will keep up with your journey!!!!!!

[Lulu Belle]

Thanks for the encouragement Kathy! I guess we've all been here a time or two. The first time was so easy, this time it seems so hard. I guess it's just going to take perservance. I see we're around the same goal ? I'm thinking if i can get to 160ish i'll reassess. Last time i got to 180, (stalled for months) and everyone kept saying "you're done losing right? No more? " etc. And looking back (boo hoo) i was smokin! As i said, i'll reassess if and when i get there, i wish you luck too! You'll get that weight off to enjoy those gorgeous kids of yours at Disney.
Eileen

[Lulu Belle]

Well, made it through the day. I often think of that song from the biggest loser. What have you done today , to make you feel proud? I just love that line, it encompasses so much.

Today, for myself, i have eaten foods that are healthy, green and colorful veggies, and lean meats, and a good amount of water. I guess i'll be proud. And i'll hope my pride doesn't rear up and bite me in the ass.!!

[kmf1028]

Thanks so much WTG on having a good day!!!!!! I would give anything to get under 200!!!!!! I know I want to get to 150, but for now I am just trying for 199 and then I will see what I have to do to get there. I know you can do it!!!!! I agree with the fact that it was easy the first time and harder each time after that!!!!!! Well I will keep in touch!!! Have a great day.

[Lulu Belle]

I got called into work unexpectedly today, but i managed to speed myself up to ensure i left the house with food, and gym clothes. As i was eating dinner (salad with chicken, and my own dressing), i was so greatful that i LOVE salad. It makes this a lot easier. I don't even have a problem with eating along the same lines on a regular basis, i'm just LAZY!!!!!!!!! I hate dragging everything out of the fridge, chopping, and then returning to the fridge. Lazy!! At it's best. I used to buy the bagged mixes, but found they tasted gross, but i really like the baby green spring mix! I guess i could try making enough salad for meals at a time , see if that helps.
One concern i do have is i know that i have a bit more veggies that Dr. A prescribes, but , first time i ate a bit extra and it didn't hurt, I'm hoping i can get away with it this time. I'll just have to give it a go and see what happens. I mean realistically, extra veggies should not put your carb count up to a point where it harms. Do i protest too much??

I haven't said a word about changing my woe, but i guess people remember from last time i did this, one commented that they hoped i wasn't doing the low carb thing again. Didn't i learn that my body would go into starvation mode and hang on to every calorie.......blah, blah blah, yap yap. I get her point (kind of), but i felt sooooo good while eating low carb before. I may be repeating myself, but if someone doesn't like a food you dont harang them to eat it. IE: Lactose intolerant people, would you tell them they must eat milk products even though It disagrees with them? How about a diabetic? Ya gonna force some sugar on them? That crap can be frustrating.
The main reason i say nothing to anyone about going back to my old woe is because EVERYONE (with eyes), knows i lost it , and they after a year and a half, found it all again. I just want to do this for me this time. Compliments , don't need them , I swear!!
I think a lot of us realize that we have food intolerances, and "addictions". Maybe we need to look at it from a alcoholic standpoint, at least until we get in control. One day at a time , and all that good stuff.

Hi Kathy, Hopefully we'll both gain entrance to Onederland!

[Lulu Belle]

What a day! Ate very well so far so i'm pleased about that (what have you done today to make you feel proud?), but ......i couldn't hit the gym due to the fact we had A SNOW STORM today and school was cancilled and i had to pick up the kids directly after work. And since my dh is stuck at the other end of the island until late this evening it's just not going to be an option tonight.
Picked up some more lovely fresh veggies from the store today, it should make a fantastic salad to go with supper. I can't freakin' believe it's mid april and we had a snow storm, and they are calling for another on monday?????
I'm quite pleased that i've kept off the scale the last few days, it's been really tough, and believe me, i look at it when i walk past, but i don't want to be jumping on it 5 times a day like i used to. I don't know what i was expecting, but i think a lot of people do this too. I guess it's not so bad when you're losing, but it can drive you near nuts. Hmmm nuts, i should pick up some almonds..........

[kmf1028]

Glad to see that you are doing great!!!!!! Hope you had a good day. Sorry about the weather!!!!! I took the kids to the park today and we had a blast I WI every morning as this helps me stay accountable and really watch what I eat.....

[Lulu Belle]

I scaled it this morning since i was home and that's the only time i like to be on the scale. Also i got tired of looking at my Stat numbers not changing, so i decided to weigh a couple of days early just so i could change my stats, i don't feel like quite such a loser now! I'm hoping the husband will be home early so i can hit the gym today, i can do some basic exercise things at home, i do have some weights, and there is always the dreaded floor exercises...... we'll figure something out.
It's 10 in the morning and i haven't eaten yet, i better get on top of that. The kids had breakfast about 2 hours ago and i'm still wondering around wondering what to have. I better do that now before i get distracted again.
Later...............

[kmf1028]

congrats on the total loss!!!!!!!