Beth's Real Life Journey to Success

[Low Carb Mommy]

Sue~absolutely I was hiding last year in that picture. You caught me.
Monet~I'll post some more soon.
Jaime~can't wait to hear the good news.....

Today has been crazy for me. I had loads of errands to run. Sorry I am posting so late. My nerves are shot for today. Having to do all I had to do today with two small ones did me in. It is days like today that I wonder if I should ask my doctor for some nerve pills. Seriously, my stress level was so high this afternoon I felt like throwing up. I still haven't calmed down. I can't even describe how I feel inside. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME??? I need some serious prayer warriors on my behalf.

My weight went down a little this morning....133.6. I am hoping that it will continue. I have been in good control of my food (in spite of my stress ). I did break down and eat some Lindt chocolate today, but the carbs are so low in the 85% chocolate that I don't consider it a cheat at all. It is my saving grace some times. I do have to watch the calories on it though.

We have 3 ballgames this week. They won their game tonight. I am looking forward to a small break during Christmas from practices and games. Then, after BB season is over there will be no more sports teams to join...Hallelujah.

I'm gonna keep plugging away. I thought about posting a before and after picture on my refrigerator to remind me where I have come. Maybe that will keep me motivated through the holidays. I have a 20 yr. reunion coming up in Jan. and I would love to be really close or at goal by then. I am grasping at anything at this point to keep me strict with LC.

Menu from yesterday:

B~2 eggs(1.2), bacon(0)=1.2
L~sm. salad(2), ranch(2), hamburger steak(0), onions(1), tea w/ splenda(1)=6
S~chocolate protein shake w/ almond milk=2
D~celery sticks & salsa(2), salad(4), ranch(2), steak(1)=8
D~SF popsicle=2

T~20.2

Ketone stick this morning: trace
Water yesterday: 80 oz.
Exercise yesterday: 20 min. endurance challenge on treadmill
Fat %: 33.4 (up from last Tues.)
Water %: 46.8 (up)

Here's some more pictures:









Here's the whole group for Thanksgiving....

[NewYorkGiants32]

What great pictures.....the one w/ you and your little girl is adorable! Where was the location? Very pretty!!

I have two small ones also, I know about the stress. Someone told me St Johns Wort helps w/ stress, but I have not researched it or anything so I am not sure. Hope you have a better day tommorrow!!

[seb]

Oh Beth, I'm so sorry that you are so stressed out right now. I will be praying for you, and I do thank you for your prayers for me. You know I love you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers today.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Dear Beth,

Your family is so gorgeous! Thanks for sharing the pics. What a blessing to have a family to celebrate with on Thanksgiving.

I am sorry you are having a stressful time, and you know that I pray for you. You may want to talk to your Doc...you know, there are lots of things both pharmaceutical and holistic that can help.

Hugs Honey!

[monet0329]

I SO love the pics.. your lil girl is so dang cute hehe.. your so blessed with these beautiful kiddos.. .. but I know stress from lil ones..lol.. I used to be a Day Care Director.. key is.. Keepem busy.... I know you know that.. and it is hard when your out and about or busy with stuff at home..maybe when you start to feel stressed.. stop what ever it is your doing.. and just take in a few deep breaths.. count to 10.. 20 maybe.. just breath.. ya know..

I will be sending up some extra for you ..

love ya sweet lady..

[godsbeloved79]

Hi Beth,

I pray that your day has been well thus far .

What pic did you decide to use for the cards?

[Low Carb Mommy]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and kind words. I have had a rough couple of days. I never got around to posting yesterday.

My body a couple of nights ago started really reacting to the stress. I think I have been in the midst of anxiety attacks. The other night my chest was hurting. I felt like I couldn't breath good. My nerves inside were just raging and I couldn't feel calm. I could hardly stand DH even attempting to hold me. I ended up having to take 2 melatonin to go to sleep.

Yesterday I woke up and still didn't feel that great. As the day progressed I feeling came me back on me. DH ended up coming home early and helping me with the kids. I just went to bed and slept for a while. We even went to dinner in town and let our teenagers watch the little ones. I went by Walmart after dinner to get some Stress tabs and some St. John's wart. I took some before going to bed. The heaviness in my chest never let up. When I laid down last night it seemed to get worse. At one point my heart started racing like I was really scared. It was like a wave coming over me.

This morning I felt a little better. Things have been fairly calm with the children. As I am typing right now, my chest feels like it is getting tighter and tighter. I have tried my best to stay calm all day. I have had praise music playing and this afternoon the kids have been sleeping and things have been quiet. Nothing has upset me to cause me to feel this way right now.

Thank you for your prayers. I am confident that the Lord will see me through this. If this continues I may have to go see the doctor. I can't keep feeling this way. I don't want to have to take medication but I may have to. After I had DS#3 and DD I had to take Zoloft for postpartum depression. It just mellows me out so bad. I like my bubbly upbeat self. I may just have to take something for a season.

Here's the menu's from last two days:

11/27-weight-133.6
B~3 egg omelet w/ spinach, feta cheese, bacon=2.8
L~Buffet-salad(2), ranch(2), 2 hot wings(2), green beans(1), peel & eat shrimp(0), broccoli(1)=8
S~Coffee w/ HNH(1), splenda(2), 4 squares of Lindt(5)=8
D~Hamburger & Cabbage=5

T~23.8
K-trace
W-64oz.
E-lots of walking
F%-33.5
W%46.8

11/28-weight-132.8
B~Atkins shake=2
L~Chickfila-Chargrilled chicken salad(5), ranch(1), sunflower seeds pack(3)=9
S~few pecans= .5
D~Moz. sticks w/o breading(2), 1/2 buffalo chicken strip(2), salad(4), ranch(2), Mahi Mahi w/ crab topping and cream sauce(3?), broccoli(1.7)=14.7
D~SF popsicle=2

T~28.2
K-trace
W-80oz.
E-none
F%-33.1
W%-46.4

My weight went back up this morning (134.2). I wasn't surprised considering what I ate yesterday and all the stress. I am not going to worry myself about it right now. It just makes things worse.

[Debralynn]

Hi Beth! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is, and how easy things can get to you when you are already stressed out to begin with!

This too, shall pass. (Ha ha! I am screaming at my little guys as I write this. They have been fighting like crazy since Thanksgiving!)

Be well!

[NewYorkGiants32]

I sure can relate to the stress too! It is hard being a mom, even with one child......I have four too, thats why I have somuch weight to loose...pregnancy and STRESS, when they are being handfulls, I eat!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Dear Beth,

I am praying that your day is peaceful and calm.

Hugs!

[monet0329]

Beth..

I am sorry your going through this sweetie and wish I could help you.. only thing I can do is pray,, and I will do that for sure..

Have you checked your blood pressure lately?.. when that gets high.. strange things can happen..I'm not a doc or anything..just what I have heard from people.. my friends(Beth) sister gets anxiety attacks.. and she feels like she is dying with her heart beating really fast .. but she has learnt how to control them.. so you may check into that as well..

anywho.. I must go.. but Know that I am thinking of you..

[Low Carb Mommy]

Thank you all for your prayers. I finally went to the doctor on Friday. I was there ALL day long. They did all kinds of test (EKG, chest x-ray, blood test etc.)on me to make sure the pressure I was feeling wasn't my heart. My blood pressure was perfect (112/73). The doctor finally concluded that it was anxiety that I was dealing with.

The doctor started me out on some Xanax which is helping me. I am only taking a tiny dose of the medicine. The medicine makes me feel calm but also sleepy. I like the fact that it takes away the chest pain but don't like that it sometimes makes me feel depressed or swimmy headed. I am supposed to call and make a follow-up appointment this week to see how I am doing. The doctor did say that they may have to look into giving me something that is regularly taken instead of as needed meds. I don't know right now what is the best. I don't want to continue feeling like I have been feeling so I am praying that God will give me direction.

One of the other things that came out of my doctor's visit was regarding my blood work. I had to see another doctor on Friday because my doctor wasn't in. Considering that I had only seen my new doctor once it really didn't bother me to see the other doctor. He asked me if my blood work was a fasting blood work. I told him that it was a 4 hour blood work. He seemed to think that not fasting more than that could have skewed the numbers. SO, maybe my cholesterol/lipids numbers weren't so high. They took 3 vials of blood from me. I am hoping he did another blood work up or they can do that if I request it. We shall see.

My eating has been OK. I have to admit that going through all this caused me to just not worry about my eating.....I just couldn't. On Friday, I had fasted the night before in case they had to do blood work. After they took my blood I had to sit there for an hour to wait on the results. It was already 3:00 and I hadn't had anything to drink or eat. I went looking for the machines. I ended up getting a water and peanuts and peanut butter crackers. I ate all the peanuts and only 3 crackers (first crackers I have had in over a year). I was so hungry when I left that I had an Atkins snack fest in CVS. I think I ate 2 bars and a bunch of pistachios. Later after the boy's ball game, our friends wanted us to go eat Japanese with them. My parents took DS#3 home with them for the weekend (what a blessing). So, by this point I really didn't care where we went to eat because I had had no real substance all day. I just tasted the rice and the rest was legal (not really any sauce).

On Saturday, We slept in and then DH's mom came over the keep the kids the rest of the day. We ended up going to the Mall of Georgia to do some Christmas shopping, see a movie and be with each other. I kinda viewed this day as a off day. We ate lunch at one of our favorite restaurants (P.F. Chang's). I had the lettuce wraps for appetizer and the Wok seared lamb for entree'. I know it doesn't sound too much like a cheat but there is something in there that makes it higher in carbs b/c I checked the website one time. Anyway, I enjoyed it and didn't fret. I also had some popcorn at the movies. Then, there was my fruit cravings that I have been having lately....frozen blueberries....can't get enough. The only other luxury I have had was some SF chocolates. Other than all that I have been right on track.

Let's talk weight....Friday (133 at docto's office w/ clothes on), Saturday (didn't weigh), Sunday (134.4), and today(133.2). So, not too bad considering. I plan on doing better this week.

It has been hard with the new meds with cravings. I don't know if it is affecting me or just my mood is affecting me. I am having to be careful not to NOT CARE right now. I go back and forth from not caring to being afraid I will not care and gain back. It can be troubling to my mind. One thing really weird that is happening to me is my weight is moving to my belly. I am not weighing any differently but my belly is looking more and more fat. I think I have said this before. The only conclusion that I can come to is that stress makes you hold fat in your belly. I think I have even heard this before. It is really upsetting me. It may sound funny but that is really where I judge my weight loss....in my face and in my belly. All this is really playing hard on my mind. I think I am going to be gaining on the scales when I get on but it just stays the same. I know my scales are right b/c I have weighed on 3 different scales and they all say the same. That does give me some relief but I really don't like my belly right now.

OK, I think I have written a book now. I just wanted to let everyone know what has been going on. I appreciate your continued prayers. I know with God's help I will get through this. Hey, who knows....once I get straighten out maybe my weight will finally start dropping again.

[Debralynn]

Hi there, girly! I am so glad you went to the Dr. With God's grace, you will start feeling better soon, and then be able to pick up where you left off!

Take it easy on yourself. Take time to breathe, and make it a point to try and enjoy the holiday season, even if you have to let a few things go. (No one will die if the floors don't get vacuumed, or the dishes sit in the sink for a little while longer!) It's worth the price of a little peace and relaxation!

Take care of your little self!

[monet0329]

Hello Beth.. good to hear form you hun.. sorry you had to go on the meds.. but something you just need it.. I do suggest not to stay on it for to long.. I have heard different things about it..

my prayers will continue for you hun..

about stress and belly fat.. I heard that on TV,,, some product they wanted you to buy saying thats where you store fat.. so if you take it, it will help.. but I have a friend who tried it.. it didnt help her with stress or weight loss.. so.. I keep thyinking Relacall(sp?) or something..lol.. may not be what its called.. but thats where I heard about the belly fat and stress..lol..

anyway you can get an early Christmas prezzy maybe and get you an all over massage? might help with your stress.. or heck.. just get your honey to give you a baby oil rub down.. hehe..

ok I am gonna get.. love ya Beth

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by Debralynn

Hi there, girly! I am so glad you went to the Dr. With God's grace, you will start feeling better soon, and then be able to pick up where you left off!

Take it easy on yourself. Take time to breathe, and make it a point to try and enjoy the holiday season, even if you have to let a few things go. (No one will die if the floors don't get vacuumed, or the dishes sit in the sink for a little while longer!) It's worth the price of a little peace and relaxation!

Take care of your little self!

AMEN.. good advice !!

[iabowhunter]

Originally Posted by Low Carb Mommy

WOOHOO! Look at the skinny chick on the left!!!

Looking great Beth!!!

[lisabinil]

Beth have you considered making an appt with your gyno for a hormone panel? I never had anxiety in my life until I had my first panic attack 3 years ago. Turns out I had started perimenopause and due to the hormone fluctuations the panic was occurring, slow weight loss & water retention problems all began. My gyno told me you can be in perimenopause for up to 10 years and it does affect some women in their 30's. Hormones suck.

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by lisabinil

Beth have you considered making an appt with your gyno for a hormone panel? I never had anxiety in my life until I had my first panic attack 3 years ago. Turns out I had started perimenopause and due to the hormone fluctuations the panic was occurring, slow weight loss & water retention problems all began. My gyno told me you can be in perimenopause for up to 10 years and it does affect some women in their 30's. Hormones suck.

Oh wow.. somehting to look into for sure.. I love this place.. you learn so much..

Good morning Beth.. and all you other great people who bless this journal daily..

[Livywilltim-mom]

Dear Beth,

Honey, I wish I could come to Georgia and give you a hug! Sharing time...
I went on an anti-depressant in August due to panic attacks. First it was the Xanax and Trazodone on as "as needed basis" but I was not feeling better, just zoned instead of panicking. Went to my doc and ended up with Celexa which I take every morning.

It has certainly changed my life for the better right now, especially with dh laid off and the holidays approaching, BUT, I think starting in April I may begin weaning off the medication. I definitely have noticed that my compulsive/control issues are lessened now, but hopefully I will be able to "teach" myself to continue this calmer approach without the meds.

The downside for me, personally, is that I attribute my inability to get past this weight plateau to the medication. I haven't gained, but I can't seem to lose either. I have pretty bad cravings that, thankfully, I have been able to control, but the constant carb-craving is a bummer.

Just some info for you. I will pray that God will guide you and comfort you while you make the decisions and changes that will keep you on His path.

Peace

[seb]

Beth, I have been praying for you since last week when I read in your journal what a difficult time you were having. I know that you will get through this. There is nothing too hard for the Lord to help us through.

Lots of love and hugs to my dear friend!

[Low Carb Mommy]

I am so blessed to have all of you as friends on here. This is the first time I have had time to sit down and read all of your post. Wow, how you all have blessed me tonight. Sue, thank you for your prayers. I do feel like the Lord has been close to me these last few days. He has in several ways assured me that I will be OK. Monet, you are a sweet friend. Thank you for always visiting my journal. I am sorry I have been so slack with yours. Phil, hi there! You know just when to show up with your skinny comments. Jaime and Lisa, thank you for all your advice. It is so nice of you to be concerned with my well-being. I greatly appreciate it!

I am still plugging along. Like Jaime said, the meds seem to just zone me out. They get rid of the pain in my chest but then I just feel down. I have an appointment to see my doctor on Thursday morning. Maybe I can talk to her about all of it and we can figure out what to do. Lisa, I am pretty sure that she did a hormonal work up on me with the first blood test and everything was fine. I know last week the other doctor tested my thyroid when he checked the levels for my heart. I will ask her to make sure.

Also, the doctor I saw last week called me this morning and told me that my cholesterol came back still high. My total cholesterol was 263...HDL-64 and Triglycerides-63. Last time my total was 277....HDL-67 and Triglycerides-116. So, everything has gone down. Although my cynical self says the reason it was lower is because I did a longer fast this go around. I would think if my doctor didn't put me on any meds the first time, she won't do anything about it this time. She was going to test me in 3 months anyway.

Jaime, I don't know if the medicine is affecting my cravings but I have been more hungry than before. I forgot to weigh this morning because I was running late. This medicine makes it VERY hard for me to get up. I have always been a morning person so I am frustrated with how hard it has been.

On a brighter note, I did have a little energy yesterday afternoon. I got most of my Christmas decorations finished. DH has to help me finish the top of the tree. We have a huge tree. I still have a little bit of finishing touches to certain areas of the house and of course cleaning up. Our garage has lots of tubbies and boxes that need to be taken back up to the attic.

Our company Christmas party is tomorrow night. We are having it at a really nice sophisticated restaurant. Everyone was able to pick out what they wanted to eat. I picked the lamb chops. We will be playing some games, have a slide show, and give out some bonuses and gifts. Don't you wish you worked for us? I have to wrap some gifts when I get off here.

Let's see.....other parties I will be hosting this Christmas.....my family party Christmas Eve with my parents and brother, then there will be Christmas Day for us, day after Christmas party with two sets of my friends, another one with our best friends/partners in business, DH's party with his family (don't have to host but bring food) and last New Years Eve party. We also have an invitation to attend a party with our trainers and local business owners. Wow, no wonder I am so stressed. All that and shopping for everyone.....a husband who is swamped at the business bless his heart.....I think I need to go take some more medicine....I can feel my chest getting tight. NO JOKE!

The thing is this has ALWAYS been my most favorite time of the year. It is really making me upset that I am upset about it all. And since I am confessing all my whoas.....I have my reunion coming up in January and I am stressing about the way I look. I am embarrassed to even admit that but maybe by doing so it will relieve some of the pressure. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy I am not that 175 pound girl I used to be. That girl wouldn't even think about going...NO WAY! I am just stressed about what to pick out to wear and all that! I just want to look the best I can. I am terrified that any medicine might make me start gaining or even more hungry and out of control. ALL THIS IS JUST NOT FAIR!!!! I should be having the best time of my life right now. I should be able to enjoy the fact that I am in a 6/8 size. Instead I am dealing with high cholesterol and panic attack. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! Sorry for my tantrum.....


Menu from yesterday:

B~Flaxseed muffin w/ cream cheese=3.6
L~Taco salad (5), LC yogurt w/ 1/4 cup frozen blueberries(6)=11
S~1 T. peanut butter=2
D~Ceasar salad(4), Omelet (3-bacon, cheese, spinach, green peppe