peanut's "can't think of a witty title" journal...

[crazyredhead]

Ok... so I am not usually a journal type of person... but I need something to keep me accountable. I'm not that different from a lot of other people on this board... I've been here before, lost weight, went off track and gained it all back, including about 12 extra pounds. I have to admit, it's a little discouraging to see so many people on the board who are in the same situation. I find that the boards in general are really encouraging and inspirational and I appreciate all the positive, "can do" attitudes and all that, but the truth is that there are just so many postings on the main board that start with "starting again" or "I'm back" or "things I won't do this time around" that I just don't want to contribute to that over there.

But however discouraging it might be, there is no other choice really but to try again (I do of course understand why so many people post those messages - everyone's got to find a way to motivate themselves). I am at that place finally (after a long time) where I can truly say I just don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be healthier and look better and feel sexier. And this is the right time to do it. I just need a place to be accountable... and this seems like it will do.

... plus I really like to use smilies so this journal will give me a place to do that

[crazyredhead]

stats...

Allright... so I first found low carb and this board sometime around October or November of 2002. It went pretty well at first - not losing at any lightning speeds - but I wasn't following atkins per se but rather a low carb plan in general. Started at 193 which is really high for my height... 5 feet, no inches. Made it to somewhere between 160 and 165, but then there was valentine's day and then st. patrick's day and then my birthday... and oh yeah, my wedding and things just went downhill (or rather uphill ) from there. It's been several years now and my weight has remained an issue for me, but there was either some sort of stressful situation going on that gave me the excuse not to deal with it... or I was being stubborn - not wanting to lose it until I was darn ready to do it. Well before long, I was at 205! Can't believe I let myself go over that marker Started again January 15th at 205. Have had some moments along the way where I have gone off plan, but trying really hard to get in that zone.

[crazyredhead]

201 today because I went off plan this past weekend and again last night (didn't need to have those tortilla chips with the chicken chili and really would have been just as satisfying without). Back on plan... worked really hard this morning to convince myself NOT to eat that last piece of pizza in the fridge for breakfast.

B: crustless quiche with cream, spinach, bacon, swiss and onion
L: salami chunks
S: if I need it... another piece of quiche
D: ? but likely pork chops or bunless burger, salad or veggie
S: maybe some cottage cheese or sf jello... again if I need it

Drinking lots of water too

[crazyredhead]

B: crustless quiche with cream, spinach, bacon, swiss and onion
L: salami chunks
S: salad with a little bit of blue cheese dressing: lettuce, wedge of tomato, wedge of cucumber, avocado and goat cheese
D: 2 thin pork chops in mustard cream sauce, creamed spinach (with cream and cheese)

I feel like I could eat a bit more (eventhough I've ate plenty already) and pretty certain I would be grazing right now (almost a nightly thing for me) but for the fact that I have to go have a blood test in the morning and I am not supposed to eat anything after dinner. I wish I had one every morning so it would stop me from eating at night (just kidding). I have to admit, I wanted to put off the blood test for a little while longer (Dr. is concerned that I may be showing pre-diabetic signs - NOT a surprise) so that I could have "better" results... but really what is the point of that. I might as well know exactly what I've done to my body and then hopefully in a little while I can take the tests again and actually show improvement. Even though I haven't lost a lot of weight in the past 3 to 4 weeks, I'm still hoping that my better eating habits have already improved things a bit... we'll see.

[crazyredhead]

So I went for the glucose test this morning. Initially I thought I was just having regular old blood drawn - in and out - and be done with it. I think my Dr. may have mentioned the glucose thing, but I either wasn't paying attention or it went over me. When I got there, they told me I had to stay for 2 hours, have some blood drawn, drink some very sickeningly sweet orangey stuff, then have my blood drawn an hour later and then another hour later. Besides not liking to have my blood drawn (3 times!!!), I wasn't thrilled about drinking whatever that stuff was as it had to be sugary and have tons of carbs - oh well, what could I do At least it's done. It's about 1:45... I just went grocery shopping and got lots of good stuff, but just not hungry. I know it's bad... I am usually pretty good abut eating B, L and D, but I think I'll just wait until later. Not sure what we will have, since hubby is in a cranky mood at the moment and I don't think he cares to put in his 2 cents about dinner. We'll see later - I'll have to figure out what I am in the mood for.

Oh, yeah, by the way... scale "initially" said 199 this morning . Of course I had to step back on again about 20 minutes later to make sure it was really true... and it then said 201 - arghh - got back from the test and it said 200. I usually only weigh in the morning, but was excited about being under the 200 mark. Will have to wait until it seems to stick until I redo my sig, but I do think the fact that I did not eat anything after 8 pm last night helped. I am really going to have to remember that from now on!!!

[crazyredhead]

Scale says 199 today. Actually it initially said 198 (which is even better), but I always wait about 5 minutes after the first reading to get the one that seems like it's going to stick. I finally got that scale to move - have been at 200 for about 2 weeks now. I will take any whoosh I can get even if it's a small one.

Meals were off yesterday because I had to go for the glucose test and didn't get back until about 1:30 and then we had to go out, but it was nice cause later we went out for dinner to our favorite pub and had a good time and a good meal (thankfully hubby decided it was no fun to be cranky... much more fun to go out and have a date night together).

yesterday's menu:
B: nothing, unless you count sickeningly sweet orangey glucose drink
L: nothing
D: big burger with mozarella, sauteed onions and mushrooms, salad (lettuce and tomatoes) with blue cheese dressing

And more importantly... drum roll... avoided having any snacks after dinner. I have such an urge to eat at night... it's really my downfall. But I just kept talking myself out of it and we watched a movie later on so that kept me occupied for a good 2 hours. It's definitely not easy, but I know that is the main thing I have to watch out for, even lc stuff messes me up (I have to be strong and throw out the peanut butter ).

probable menu for the day...
B: egg with cheese or cottage cheese
L: 2 thin pork chops with mustard cream sauce, veggie (zuchinni)
D: porterhouse with veggie (zuchinni or snow pea pods)

[crazyredhead]

I had to come here since posting seems to be a good way for me to keep things in check. I just ran out to the store... had to return a ham I got yesterday because the sell by date was about a week or more past due. Got another ham, and some cabbage for next weekend's corned beef I have planned, but then I just had to go and get some pistachios. I already full well know that nuts and peanut butter are a trigger for me, so not sure why I got them, but I did. Sarted eating them right there in the car as I drove to Blockbuster's and couldn't stop. Somewhere along the way I told myself... JUST STOP IT. And I did - then threw the rest away when I got home (hate to waste stuff but it wasn't a lot and I really can't use the temptation). Big step for me (the stopping part). Now I just have to see if I can keep control the rest of the day.

Menu so far today...
B: 1 egg poached with 1 slice american cheese
S: 2 ham slices with mayo, cottage cheese
L: 2 thin pork chops with mustard cream sauce, raw brocolli and a few slices of raw red and yellow pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2-3 tblsp) - this was good, will be having again tomorrow for lunch
S: pistachios (about 30? shelled), 1/2 of a SF jello, cottage cheese (just a spoonful or two)
D: Should be... porterhouse with zuchinni
lots and lots of water

[crazyredhead]

I wasn't able to keep in control last night. I don't know if it was the pistachios that triggered something or just me... but I nibbled and nibbled yesterday. Strange because hubby was sweet and told me he could see a difference and told me he knew how hard I was trying. Which I really appreciated and it definitely made me feel good. But this was after the pistachios so either:
1. I was already in the swing of going off plan (stupid pistachios) and not even a compliment was going to get me back on track
2. it was the complement that did me in (sometimes those things throw me - not sure why)
3. reaching a mini goal (under 200) did me in (just like above... I seem to sabotage myself after reaching certain goals, 1 step forward and 2 steps back) or
4. I had too little to eat the day before and even though I wasn't hungry on saturday it caught up to me the next day and made me ravenous
I personally think it's a combo of all of the above - just trying to jot my thoughts down though so I can stay accountable and conscious of what I do, when and why.

menu from yesterday, ughhh, accountability...
B: 1 egg poached with 1 slice american cheese
S: 2 ham slices with mayo, cottage cheese
L: 2 thin pork chops with mustard cream sauce, raw brocolli and a few slices of raw red and yellow pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2-3 tbls)
S: pistachios (about 30? shelled), 1/2 of a SF jello, cottage cheese (couple of spoonfuls), 4 bittersweet chocolate chips (at least I only had 4 which is only about 2 carbs - though that's not really the point), 2 mozarella cheese sticks, 3 slices deli chicken with mayo
D: porterhouse steak cooked in olive oil and butter with zuchinni and red onion
S: 3/4 of a SF jello pudding cup (mint flavor) and this is the part I regret the most... finished off the granola (3/4 to 1 cup)

Of course, I was back up today to 200 (consequences - have got to remember those as I am reaching for something I shouldn't ). Back on plan - I think the weekdays are easier for me as I am not home all day with the fridge accesible to me.

planned menu for today:
B: 2 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: 2 thin pork chops with mustard cream sauce, raw brocolli and a few slices of raw red and yellow pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2-3 tbls)
D: crockpot stew (stew meat, broth, a little bit of canned mushroom soup, a couple of carrots and some peas)

[crazyredhead]

Things went better yesterday, stayed on track for the most part, had a late night snack, but it wasn't a bad one. The scale is being very flighty... hopped on and off a few times this morning to try and get one number that would stick, but it was all over the place - everywhere between 198 and 201, so I am just going to try and have some patience until the scale moves downward permanently and seems to stick.

yesterday's actual menu:
B: 2 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: 2 thin pork chops with mustard cream sauce, raw brocolli and a few slices of raw red and yellow pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2-3 tbls)
D: crockpot stew (stew meat, broth, a little bit of canned mushroom soup, a couple of carrots and some peas)
S: 5 small thin deli bologna slices (not the thick big ones you buy in a package) with mayo

today's planned menu:
B: 2 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: crockpot stew, raw brocolli and a few slices of raw red pepper pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2-3 tbls)
D: crockpot stew

I am feeling a little edgy, nervous today (have a meeting in a few minutes - weekly staff thing that makes me feel that way) so hope that doesn't throw me off.

[crazyredhead]

Thought of something the other day to do as a mini goal reward, but need to do a quick post to remind myself... as I already reached one of my mini goals and seem to have forgotten :

As a mini goal reward, will save $10 for every pound lost, to be stashed away at increments of 5 pound losses (my mini goals). It can wind up being a lot of money in the end, and frankly I have tons of other stuff I need to put it towards, but after all the weight loss, I am going to need to buy new clothes, and this seems like a good way to save towards that and motivate myself at the same time. I have to give credit to someone else on the main board who stated she was doing it, but I can't remember her name - thanks to whoever you are!!! I have to admit I do like clothes and I would like to think I have some fashion sense, but no one would know it from the way I dress. It is just so hard to buy stuff at this weight (and height!!!). At 5 feet tall, I should be a 2 or a 4, maybe even a 0 (imagine that!!!). Instead I am an XL, ... 16, 18, 20 depending on what it is I am buying. I like clothes, but hate shopping - and don't do it often. It makes me feel bad. When I go with friends or my sister, I am always picking cute things out for them. I don't even consider myself, because I can't shop in those stores right now. It's less painful to focus on someone else and help them pick out cute stuff. I've lost weight before... but never went crazy shopping because I still had more to lose and I didn't ever really seem to have the funds necessary to just blow on clothes. But it would be nice to be at a stable weight and be able to do that. I figure if I stash away $50 at a time, I won't really miss it and it will help if/when I get there. It's not going to cover an entire wardrobe makeover but it will go a long way towards that.

I reached 200 the other day and forgot to reward myself, so later today will stash away $50 - yay!

[crazyredhead]

Well, it's official... I have diabetes. I have been in denial for so long - been struggling with weight all my life and yet seemed to be in relatively good health, my blood pressure, cholesterol and other blood work was always within range. But it's all caught up to me. I have known for a while now that my blood pressure has gone up - the Dr. has had me on 25 mg toprol for the past 2 to 3 months. Actually she prescribed it to me about a year ago and I was supposed to do the blood work then, but I didn't follow through and stopped taking the meds. It's not that I was necessarily afraid... just wanted time to get everything in control on my own before taking the tests, but it didn't happen. I continued to eat whatever I wanted and never exercised and a year later came to the conclusion I was just in denial and needed to do the tests - whatever the outcome may be. And here I am - a diabetic. I just got back from the Dr. and the numbers weren't good. Not even sure yet what they all mean but was at around 270 or 280 - that was the glucose test I did on Saturday. It seems that anything over than 100 is considered bad - so that's really bad. Some other number was 6.6 (A1C?); she said that wasn't too bad as it should be around 6 or lower, but at least it wasn't a 7 or higher - that indicates I haven't been this way for too too long and thus haven't supposedly done a lot of damage yet to kidneys, eyes, all the other stuff that diabetes affects. Ugghhh! I really just thought I could somehow avoid becoming diabetic (my Dad has diabetes type II as well so I knew there was a genetic component and should watch out for it). And the part that made me feel like I just got kicked in the stomach... it never goes away. I asked what if... what if I exercise, what if I eat right... can I one day say I DON'T have diabetes and the answer was NO. I will always have diabetes from this point on. I may be able to say one day that I am diabetic but I control it with just diet and exercise, and I really hope that one day I can say that, but for now I have to start the meds. I'm sad and mad (at myself) and a bit scared.

[crazyredhead]

So today is my first full day as a diabetic . I told my husband last night when I got home and he couldn't have been any sweeter about it... said all the right things. I didn't cry at all yesterday until I got home and started talking with him, then of course the tears came. But then again... I'm a crier - doesn't take much to make me cry - even a commercial can do it to me, which is funny because I'm actually not sappy at all, more sarcastic than anything, but still... I'm a crier (is that the right spelling ). I was blaming myself and he just told me to stop, that because my Dad has it, it might have happened no matter what, etc. Of course I do still blame myself but I really appreciated his support and how he handled it... like it wasn't that big a deal, let's just see what we have to do to deal with it... He was fascinated with the whole testing thing... but then again he's a boy and just loves tech stuff. I got the tester, mechanism thing a majig from the Dr. earlier yesterday and then got the thingys that go with it from the pharmacist (obviously I'm not up on the lingo ). My Dr. had told me to ask the pharmacist to demonstrate the thingy (I'm just gonna call it that from now on). At first I was like nah... I'm not going to ask the pharmacist - I'll just figure it out on my own. But she was really, really nice. Actually took time and stepped out of the little booth and sat down with me and helped me open the packages and put it all together and then even allowed me to do a test right there so I could make sure I knew what I was doing. What a relief - the pricking isn't all that bad and it's really easy to do the test. I'm really confused about the numbers though. I am writing them down and the times I take them and all that - and will go back to my Dr. in 3 weeks so it can all be explained and analyzed... but I was higher this morning after fasting for about 10 hours - pre breakfast (158) then I was before dinner (140) and after dinner (150) which makes no sense. I am going to have to do this over the next couple of days, weeks to see what the pattern is. My Dr. also gave me a pill (actos) to take on top of the ones I take for high blood pressure (toprol). Apparently she wants to put me on 3 different meds, but wants to see how I do with one before she piles all of them on me. I appreciate that approach. I never wanted to be someone on a whole bunch of meds, and yet here I am .

Anyways, on to another topic... was 199 this morning and it seemed to stick this time - yay. Was on plan and didn't eat after dinner. Of course the whole diabetes scare thing probably had something to do with keeping me away from those late night snacks - we'll see how long that lasts .

yesterday's actual menu:
B: 2 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: crockpot stew, raw brocolli and a few slices of raw red pepper pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2-3 tbls)
D: crockpot stew with a cup (or more?) of sauteed cabbage in butter (yum - just like noodles)

today's planned menu:
B: 3 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: crockpot stew (last of it) with a cup (or more?) of sauteed cabbage in butter, raw red and yellow pepper with blue cheese dressing (about 2 tbls).
D: not sure - going out for a valentine's meal

[crazyredhead]

Writing down my menus is now more important than ever. Before it was just to keep me accountable. Now it's a good way to track what I eat and how it affects my blood glucose (BG) numbers. 199 again today. I did some research yesterday on actos and metformin and found out that actos makes a lot of people gain weight... and more importantly can interact with the orthotricyclin I take - making it less effective . Great... that's just what I need - to gain weight AND become unexpectedly pregnant! I can't believe my Dr. didn't tell me that or didn't catch it - she's the one who prescribed both so she should know (maybe just the pharmacists know these things ). I like my Dr. but it does make it clear that you really have to do your own research on the meds your Dr. prescribes. I looked up the alternative - metformin - and it does not have those side effects - in fact as my Dr. told me that first day, metformin can actually stimulate the metabolism helping you to lose weight... only reason I didn't go for it (and trust me it was tempting) is because I can't swallow really big pills and these are enormous, but I was told by the pharmacist that they are scored and can be broken into pieces to swallow, so that's what I am gonna do. I made an apt with the Dr. this morning - going over in a very short while to see if she will switch me. I've only taken one of the actos (yesterday) so hopefully it won't be that confusing to my body to switch.

yesterday's actual menu and BG numbers:
BG pre breakfast: 158 (I've learned from reading here and there that I may have something known as the "dawn pehenomenon" where my BG number is actually highest in the morning after a night of fasting as opposed to being lowest which is what the majority of people see after a fast - have to check with the Dr. about this)
B: 3 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: crockpot stew (last of it) with a cup (or more?) of sauteed cabbage in butter, raw red and yellow pepper, large cherry tomato and lettuce with blue cheese dressing (about 2 tbls).
BG after lunch +2 hours: 124
D: shrimp (2 grilled shrimp with just a touch of cocktail sauce and 2 coconut shrimp - likely had a little bit of breading mixed in with the coconut, but it was very little), large hamburger with sauteed onions, mushrooms, and mozarella cheese, tiny bit of salad with blue cheese dressing, grilled zuchinni
BG after dinner +2 hours: 139

today's planned menu:
BG pre breakfast: 147 (definitely starting to see the dawn phenomenon pattern)
B: 3 slices deli chicken with mayo, cottage cheese
L: little bit of grilled steak with grilled zuchinni and a little bit of broccoli and cauliflower with cheese
D: grilled skirt steak with snow pea pods

[crazyredhead]

I get to change my sig again today... was 198 on the scale. Went to the Dr. yesterday and she very reluctantly switched me to metformin. The first pill she tried to give me on tuesday (that I turned down because it was too big) was actually a combo of metformin and actos. When I told her I just couldn't do a pill that big she put me on actos. She doesn't think the metformin alone will be enough and would rather have me on actos if I can't do both. She's putting me on 500mg at first just to see how my body reacts and then in about 5 to 7 days she wants me to up it to 1000mg (one 500mg pill in the morning with breakfast and one 500 mg at night with dinner). I am really hoping that the metformin alone will be effective AND that I dont have any of those nasty side effects that often come with it . When I mentioned that the actos could interact with the orthotricyclin and make it less effective, she seemed to be aware of that possibility, but told me the chance that it might have that effect is very small. I'm more than a bit about that... I mean it's fine that she thinks it's a pretty small chance but the potential side effect here is not a small one - ... I definitely think I should be the one to decide whether I want to chance pregnancy or not. I would get really really mad, but I do like my Dr. - have been going to the practice for ever and don't really want to switch at this point - especially when I have all these new things to monitor and all. I am just going to have to be diligent and check with the pharmacist and online research from now on re: interactions between drugs being prescribed. A good lesson for anyone frankly.

So... today is my first day on metformin...

yesterday's actual menu and BG numbers:
BG pre breakfast: 147
B: 3 slices deli chicken with mayo, cottage cheese
L: little bit of grilled steak with grilled zuchinni and some broccoli and cauliflower with 1 slice cheese melted
BG pre dinner: 110 (lowest so far!!!)
D: 2 slices ham steak with snow pea pods and cottage cheese
S: 2 tsp. peanut butter (was feeling like I needed something more, perhaps my blood sugars were being wacky - though I didn't take my BG like I should have to see what was going on)

today's planned menu:
BG pre breakfast: 152
B: 3 slices roast beef with 1/2 slice swiss cheese, 1 slice tomato, tiny bit of raw red onion and mayo
L: 1 slice ham steak with sauteed cabbage and cottage cheese
D: grilled skirt steak with sauteed cabbage and cottage cheese
S: tsp. peanut butter or SF jello ?

[crazyredhead]

... starting to feel tummy issues... or is it just my imagination because I've read all about the side effects of metformin.

[crazyredhead]

I can change my sig again today: 196 - yay! although I have to make a confession ... my scale goes down in 1.1 increments so every 10 pounds or so it skips a pound - which is what happened today. Went from 198 to 196.9, but I only count the big number so I am considering it to be 196 . I've considered getting a new scale (this one is many years old and I think unfortunately underweighs a few pounds), but I like that it goes down in 1.1 increments - it actually gives me a lot of motivation to go down another 10 pounds so I can skip a pound again . Update on the meds... my tummy didn't feel all that bad after all, though we'll have to see how I react as I take more of the metformin, especially when I double the dosage in a few days. Also, I am proud to say that I didn't have any snacks again after dinner - definitely think it's having an impact on the scale .

yesterday's actual menu and BG numbers:
BG pre breakfast: 152
B: 3 slices roast beef with 1/2 slice swiss cheese, 1 slice tomato, tiny bit of raw red onion and mayo
BG after breakfast + 2: 125
L: 1 slice ham steak with sauteed cabbage
D: "fajitas" (yum): grilled skirt steak with sauteed red and yellow peppers and onions, guacamole (2 big tbls) and sour cream (1 tbls), tiny bit of shredded cheese, tomato and salsa

today's planned menu:
B: 2 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
L: hamburger with 1 slice cheese, cottage cheese and a little bit of leftover sauteed cabbage
D: eggplant lasagna: grilled eggplant, tomato sauce (will try it with a little bit of splenda because I like it somewhat on the sweet side), ricotta cheese and fresh mozarella, sliced cucumbers with a little bit of rice wine vinegar - this will be a somewhat more carby meal so will have to see how it affects my BG numbers.

[crazyredhead]

... in a good way 195 today! and that means not only do I get to change my sig again (which amazes me because the pounds have really been dropping lately - knock on wood and again thanks to not eating after dinner) but I get to stash away another $50 towards a new wardrobe (definitely thought it would take longer than that to reach another mini goal). More good news... still feeling Ok on the metformin and I think it's having an effect on the BG numbers, though I definitely will need to give it more time to really see the effects.

yesterday's actual menu and BG numbers:
B: 2 smoked salmon roll ups with cream cheese, swiss cheese and 1 grape tomato
BG pre lunch: 98
L: hamburger with 1 slice cheese, cottage cheese and a little bit of leftover sauteed cabbage
BG pre dinner: 111
D: eggplant lasagna: grilled eggplant, tomato sauce with a little bit of splenda, ricotta cheese, fresh mozarella and I also added crisp pepperoni slices as a layer (which was really good - will definitely be adding this again), just a few sliced cucumbers with a little bit of rice wine vinegar
BG after dinner + 2: 143

today's planned menu:
BG pre brunch: 121
Brunch: eggs, cheese and ham
S: deli sliced chicken with mayo and cottage cheese
D: corned beef, cabbage, a few mini carrots

[crazyredhead]

Not feeling all that great today on the metformin after all - stomach pangs and a couple of extra trips to the bathroom

[crazyredhead]

I definitely seem to snack more on the weekends... what I've actually eaten today has not been bad at all, but the urge is overwhelming. I need to go take a hot bubble bath or something to keep me out of the kitchen. So far today...

B: 2 eggs scrambled with 1 slice cheese and 1 slice ham steak
L: 2 slices deli chicken with mayo and little bit of swiss, small salad with 2 cherry tomatoes, onion, avocado (1/2 of one) and a bit of crumbled blue cheese with viniagrette dressing
S: 1/2 SF jello cup, cottage cheese, 2 large tsps. peanut butter

[crazyredhead]

195 again today, which is fine. TOM is coming so I am going to have to get used to that number not moving for about a week or so. Hopefully, fingers crossed, will have a whoosh afterwards though. BG numbers continue to be relatively good (at least in my humble opinion)... and that's on only 500 mg metformin. Hubby was very cute yesterday... asked about all sorts of foods and what their carb counts were (he thought mayo had a lot of carbs ). He's not doing low carb, but in a sense he is since he eats what I eat (and make ) for dinner, with the exception of adding a few starches, a tortilla, etc. here and there - he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy so he certainly doesn't mind all the meat and protein we have - breakfasts and lunches generally on his own. He told me he stopped going to the bagel place for breakfast... partially in support of me () and partially cause I think he realizes he doesn't need the extra carbs either. We talked about the whole carb thing... I told him I don't consider this a diet, but rather a woe/wol... there will definitely be times when I will CHOOSE to eat something higher in sugar (or something that is all sugar for that matter), but that at least I am deliberately making better choices now. He's being very cute and supportive and I him a whole lot for it.

yesterday's actual menu and BG numbers:
BG pre breakfast: 121
B: 2 eggs scrambled with 1 slice cheese and 1 slice ham steak
BG after breakfast + 2: 114
L: 2 slices deli chicken with mayo and little bit of swiss, small salad with 2 cherry tomatoes, onion, avocado (1/2 of one) and a bit of crumbled blue cheese with viniagrette dressing
S: 1/2 SF jello cup, cottage cheese, 2 large tsps. peanut butter
D: corned beef, cabbage and a couple of mini carrots with mustard and just a few shakes of malt vinegar
BG after dinner + 2: 102

today's planned menu:
BG pre breakfast: 129
B: 3 ham rolls with swiss cheese and 1 large grape tomato with mayo
BG after breakfast + 2: 111
L: fajitas: grilled skirt steak, sauteed red and yellow peppers and onions, with little bit of shredded cheese, tbls sour cream and tsp salsa, 1/2 of an avocado
D: corned beef, cabbage and a couple of mini carrots with mustard and just a few shakes of malt vinegar

[crazyredhead]

... was not a great night snack wise - first time I have snacked after dinner in a while. I am not mad that I had a snack because I seemed to need one (again when I am feeling that way I really need to first take my BG numbers and see if that's my body telling me that or just my mind)... and it wasn't a terrible one - choice wise, but instead of having a tbls of peanut butter and being satisfied with that, I had to have more - sat there with the spoon and the jar and kept taking little tiny scoop after scoop - which added up after a while. I think I did a good job in not letting it get too out of control, but I didn't feel great after - like I had a little more than I really needed (and I did). I know TOM has something to do with it, but I am really going to have to find a way to not let it get out of control this week. Will try and drink lots and lots of water.

yesterday's actual menu and BG numbers:
BG pre breakfast: 129
B: 3 ham rolls with swiss cheese and 1 large grape tomato with mayo
BG after breakfast + 2: 111
L: fajitas: grilled skirt steak, sauteed red and yellow peppers and onions, with little bit of shredded cheese, tbls sour cream and tsp salsa, 1/2 of an avocado
BG after lunch + 2: 94
S: cottage cheese and 3 small salami chunks
D: corned beef, cabbage and a couple of mini carrots with mustard and just a few shakes of malt vinegar
S: peanut butter (2 - 3 tbls) and about 1/2 tsp of raspberry jelly