Trying again and again

[scb1988]

WEll, I am new to this board and need to put down some of the things that have been going on with me.

I started 3 years ago and lost 45# but then had "too much emotional eating" and stress and fell off the LC eating and gained it all back and more.

I started on Dec 31, 2006. I weighed 298#. After several false starts wtih induction I am down to 281. My ultimate goal is 135# because I am only 5'4". I have been overweight my entire life.

Some of the challenges I have been facing are: My 16 y/o son was arrested Jan 1 with illegal weapons (long story). He was on house detention for 32 days (enough to drive any sane parent nuts). I then became involved in a workplace drama (infighting among staff memebers). I have had a sinus infection and bouts of nausea and diarrhea where all I want is soda crackers and a Pepsi. I visited an orthopedic surgeon who wants to do bilateral knees replacements. Due the severe obesity and a job where i am on my feet all day long, I no longer have any cartiledge left in my knees. Any stress or weight bearing exercizes are out. Gonna look into some different exercizes. These 38 days have truly ben a struggle not to eat any carbs.

My husband is diabetic and he has seen a difference in his blood sugars since we have been LC. My pants are just a smidge looser and my ankles aren't so swollen.

I have found out that if I plan meals in advance I do MUCH better.

Have to go see Dr again today...more knee bad news I am sure. Wish me luck and good fortune.

[Lolita1]

awww to you... you'll do great... wtg on your success so far.

P.S. An aunt of mine had knee replacements, and my dad had one hip replaced and will do the other soon... best thing they could have ever done... really changed their lives!

[scb1988]

forgot to post menu

B 2 egg omelette with sprinkle of cheddar cheese
L 2 large coffes with cream
D chicken brest with sauted onions and swiss cheese, sauted cabbage
S pork rinds and celery

[scb1988]

Now I have insomnia so I am already planning my meal for today! Sometimes I swear I think about food more than sex!

B cheese muffins with coffee
L cabbage with blue cheese dressing (just like slaw) and deli ham
D 2 all beef hot dogs
S celery and zucchini sticks

Lots and lots of water

[scb1988]

Well, the news was a little better on my knees. Don't have to rush into the surgery until I WANT to do it and can no longer stand the pain. Will try new meds first. There is a new injection coming out in one month and it is a one time knee injection instead of series of 3 that we MAY try first. I really can't afford to take off work right now, so maybe at the end of summer I might have it. By then I hope to be down at least 50# and that will take off some of the stress on my knees. I WILL DO THIS! I want to avoid surgery until it is no longer and option. With me being a nurse, you'd think I wouldn't be so afraid. I saw how well my mother has done since her knee replacments and I should only be encouraged by that.

Son went to court and charges we dropped and reduced! WOOOHOOOOO Now only 18 months of probation. If he keeps his nose clean....Marine Corp here he comes! (His choice) Love my son but don't like him or his behaviour for a while now! Hopefully the counseling we have him in will help too. So far he is doing well.

Trying to get my daughter onboard with the LC eating.
She is 5-10 and 230# at age 13. Just trying to stress good eating habits and choices. I have done the good parent thing by limiting snacky foods at home and not making them available here. More fresh fuits and veggies and whole grains. Trying to include more fish too. No pressure but trying to lead by good example. With a father obese, diabetic and hypetensive and a mother with obesity, htn and arthritis, she needs to be aware that she needs to be healthier. What a narrow line it is between supporting her self-esteem as a teenager and needing to lose weight! I know because I was overweight then too and have been all my life. I had thin siblings and heavy parents and was ALWAYS compared and treated differently.

[scb1988]

The woosh fairy came today and I am now at 276# 13.75 % to my goal!

[jennsdream]

Hello my name is Jenn
I was reading your journal and just had to say way to go
It's hard enough for me not to eat crap when i have a bad day much less all that stress awesome job on keeping it together

I'm starting water exercise classes next month and just wanted to throw the idea out there for you there would be no pressure on your knees and it really is a full body work out

Keep me posted on how things are going Keep going your are doing great

[scb1988]

thanks so much, can really use the encouragement. I will look into water exercizes (when I am not ashamed to be seen in my swimsuit) at the local YWCA. Thanks again

[scb1988]

Menus for today
B pumpkin cream cheese muffins 2 cups of coffee
L mixed salad greens with chicken and blue cheese water
D fried spam and coleslaw water
S 1 oz dry roasted peanuts crystal light sugar free jello

I drank 160 oz of water yesterday...forgot that I changed water mugs and went to a bigger one lol no wonder that last 40 ozs were hard to get down and I was up all night peeing lol

I was so bad last night. A co-worker brought in doughnuts and I resisted until about 5 pm and then i took one bite, swallowed it and took another bite and spit it out. I did throw away the rest of the donut! I felt like I was starving all day yesterday. I tried not to beat myself up, but felt like such a failure. I just felt like a cow who wanted to graze all day..moooooooooo

[jennsdream]

Dont be so hard on yourself at least you spit it out I think if I took one bite I might eat 3 whole donuts

Sugar and its evil ways

This may sound crazy but when I get a bad craving i put one of those listerine(spelling?) breath strips in my mouth kinda works like toothpaste anything you put in your mouth for the next 15 min or so taste really really bad
It doesnt solve everything but it gives me a minute to talk my selfout of that cany bar

May not work for you but maybe there is something else that can help you refocus when you feel like you may cave

Congrats on that spit lol

[scb1988]

Stayed on track all day yesterday. In fact didn't have much of an appetite last night which is when I really get cravings. It is hard not to eat when I get home from a 12 hour shift!

Today is a new day and here is the menu:

B Dobie muffin 2 cups of coffee (not sure about the muffins yet...like the flavor of flax tho)
L salad with ranch dressing and chicken chunks
D Fried SPAM topped with cheddar cheese broccoli/cauliflower frozen veggies (may eat after work....left them in the freezer lol)
S sf jello/ 1 oz peanuts/ crystal light

Have started using coconut oil. Can't drink it as a liquid. Easier just to spoon and swallow.
Think it is helping with the appetite control a little bit but not convinced.

Thanks for your encouragement Jenn!

[scb1988]

Things never go quite as planned do they lol? Got called to do an extra 1/2 shift in the ER tonight with bonus pay. What is an extra 4 on top 12 already! Thank goodness I have supplies in my locker here. Will scarf down some tuna salad and sf jello. Sure wish I had thought to bring the frozen veggies with me

My co-workers have started noticing that my scrubs aren't so tight around! WOOOHOOO. My new meds are helping my knees. I know the -22# is sure helping too. Even my rings are sliding around on my fingers! I feel like I have a little more energy.

Co-worker is popping popcorn grrrrrrrrr I just start drooling when I smell it. Will this obsession with food ever end?????

[scb1988]

Made Dobie muffins...ate one and the dog ate the other 5.
No wonder he wanted outside all evening .

B smoothie with cream water ice and sf rasberry syrup
L heaven only knows
D pork chops with sauerkraut and veggies
S pork rinds prob

[scb1988]

Turned the keto stick purple last night

Stayed on track all weekend. No change in the scale since Wednesday hmmmm. Daughter says my butt is not as big! Lol don't know if I shrank inches cause I haven't measured.

B dobie muffin coffee pumpkin cream cheese muffin
L hamburger patty, broccoli cauliflower mix
D smoked sausage salad
S sf jello
W 120oz

[scb1988]

ARGH The back of my head and front of my head is killing me. I know I need to get more sleep, but somedays it doesn't seem possible.

Nauseated today too...is it the headache or the "lo carb flu".

Read thru some of the recipes...gonna have to add to my grocery list LOL

[scb1988]

Headache is mostly gone, but feels like anything could set it off again.

Menus are as follows
B cappucino custard and coffee
L smoked sausage and cauliflower
D salad with blue cheese or ranch
S dry roasted peanuts, chicken broth, sf jello, water and more water

Blizzard conditions here in Illinois, but by the grace of God I made it in to work. Hope that not too many idiots will be out and about needing medical care. If I had a choice I would be home snuggled down in my bed until I an't sleep any more, read books, make soup, clean the house and play cards. Hot chocolate and marshmallows sound good, but I think I will settle for hot tea and pork rinds lol.

[jennsdream]

Hey how ya been?

Yummy menus Im gonna take some ideas from there

Keep it up those lbs keep dropping
Jenn

[scb1988]

I can't believe how awful I look...I know I'm fat but this isn't me! I am so discouraged today and this didn't help. No loss for the week. Just maintained. I KNOW I am on the right track....

B cappucino custard coffee
L smoked sausage and salad with ranch
D taco cheese soup (really really yummy)
S peanuts, tea

And to heck with it I am having a lo carb beer tonight!

[scb1988]

Still have not moved the scale in a week. Wish it woudl just to give me a sense of movement here. I should probably measure, but do I really want to know the measurements? Ok OK I will quit deluding myself and JUST DO IT!

Todays menu
B coffee and bacon
L taco cheese soup
D gonna have to work this one out
S sf jello
WATER WATER WATER

[scb1988]

Still no movement on the scale, but I am constipated so that may be it. Also higher on the cheese and cream. Should cut out the peanuts too I guess. I AM in ketosis tho. Bright purple! Knees are doing ok. My Mom wants to know when I lose 100# but wouldn't tell me why....hmmmm can you say new wardrobe?

B Bacon 2 coffes with cream
L ground pork burger cauliflower
D Hot dog with american cheese asparagus (maybe)
S crystal light

[scb1988]

Scale finally moved....another 4#! I am now down a total of 26#.

Went out to eat with DH to our favorite Italian rest. and was very good. I had fillet of sole stuffed with spinach and cheese in a lemon butter sauce, ricotta stuffed tomato half and an anitpasto platter.

B sausage and orange delight SF from walmart
L salad with blue cheese
D dont rightly know right now
S cheese chunks sf jello

[scb1988]

Having computer problems so don't know when I will be back on????

[scb1988]

Well it is another day. Woke up to a gray ugly day, slid on ice in the parking lot at work and busy busy busy this am at work. Computers (yes plural) are still both down. Will have to replace the guts on one of them. Thank goodness I semi know what I am doing lol.

My boss wanted the recipe for Dobie muffins and I have given out the Taco Cheese soup recipe several times. They are starting to notice the difference! I need to exercise, but my knees hurt so bad. I am doing more upper body and general strengthing exercises but I am sure it is not enough. Hopeing that when garage sales start I can pick up an exercize bike for cheap.

B not really hungry coffee with cream and a shot of sf hazelnut
L salad with turkey and ranch dressing
D sausage and cauliflower and broccoli
S pepper strips with blue cream cheese spread

[scb1988]

B taco cheese soup
L meatloaf and sf jello
D salad and pork roast
S crystal light maybe some peanuts

Darn computers NOT working at home.

[scb1988]

I want to see my feet when I stand up
I want to get rid of my flying squirrel arms
I want to buy my clothes in a "normal" store
I want to walk up a flight of stairs with out huffing and puffing
I want to tie my shoe laces without crunching my gut
I want to 'slide by" some one without bumping them.
I want to ride the rides without feeling embarassed
I want to walk without pain
I want people to say "she's pretty' not just "She has a pretty face"
I want to by a watch and have it on the tightest link
I want to by a choker necklace and not have it choke me
I want only one chin
I want to look at a dining room chair and not evaluate to see if I will break it
I want to sit in a regular lawn chair
I want to easily fasten my seat belt
I want my saddle bags on the horse not me
I want to wear a sweater dress
I want my medical chart to have morbidly obese scribbled out
I want to be thinner than my sister
I want to be healthy
I want to have self confidence
I want to go to a potluck and have people not stare at my plate
I want to go to an all you can eat buffet and not get my money's worth

[scb1988]

Well, now I can't poop! Just drank some mag citrate and hope that it helps.

B coffee with cream
L mag citrate
D pork roast and sauteed mushrooms
S hmmmm dont know.

One computer up and running and the other is not. Think I will just have to buy a new one...Oh darn

[scb1988]

Mag citrate does work lol

B crustless quiche coffee with cream
L pork roast with salad
D not sure
S pork rinds sf jello lots of water

Down another 2 pounds for total of 28

One computer up and one down.