My name is Terri and I am an obsessive overeater.

[terri73]

I am treating this journal as my own little over eaters anonymous. I have said it a thouhsand times before "Tomorrow is my day" and I lie to myself over and over. I gorge on food. I will eat until my stomach aches from all the food I have put into it. I drink sugary drinks eventhoughI know that they are horrible for my body both inside and out. I will check in here whenever I feel as if I ned to overeat. As long as my internet will connect that is!!! You gotta love bad dial up! I will post a dialy menu and eat what is on it. Nothing more , nothing less!

I am doing this to survive. I am doing this to try to avoid diabetes. I am doing this to lessen my chances of pancratic cancer (Grandma recently diagnosed). I am doing this for myself, my husband and my daughter.

It is time to put myself #1 again. I have to do this in order to be able to take care of my family!

[jadelily11]

Hi Terri,

Welcome to the obsessive overeaters club.lol. Aren't we all a part of it? It's such a frustrating place to be. I just want to wish you luck on your journey and I know you can do this. I keep telling myself that I don't want to be sitting here next year wishing I had done something this year.. KWIM? Keep up the good work and know that you are doing this for yourself , your health, your well being.. we can both do us.. our bodies deserve to be treated right!!!

Good luck!!!!

[terri73]

What a long day. Emiy has been home from school, I messed up the taxes and efiled them before I knew I screwed them up, and didn't deposit enough money in our checking account. What a day. i'll be glad to lay down and sleep tonight. It was 2:30 am before I got to sleep and I woke up at 4:48am. Needless to say I am worn out. Maybe my tiredness is why I made the boo boo on the taxes. I hate the thoughts of having to pay to have them amended.

[jadelily11]

Hi Terri,

Stopping by to see how you are doing? I notice that you haven't posted for a couple of days.. hope everything is well and you are keeping your head up!

[terri73]

Tueday evening~man it is snowing like crazy!!! I have to admit that food didn't go well today. I did spend the day cleaning the living room and man was it a mess. It still needs work. I looked up and it was almost time for DH and I was knee deep in trash still. So I ordered pizza. Yep, I did it. Totally off track. I told myself to only eat the toppings but I blew it.

Keeping my head up....Tomorrow is a new day. I think I am putting a roast out to defrost to keep me on track. If dinner is cooking all day I won't be tempted to make something off plan.

Menu~Wednesday ~
B-omelette and bacon..if I get up in time.
L-salad or breakfast food depending on what time I get up
D-beef roast and a veggie
lots of water!!!!!! and probably a SF kool aid slushy

There it is posted. I have to stick to the plan!

I know I can do it! I hate being abig fat @ss! Only I can make the difference!

Our local waterpark wil be open this summer, after being closed for a couple of years, I will not be over the weight limit for the slides! And I do not want to be 350lbs in a bathing suit with all the kids looking at me like a sideshow.

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Just a note to say "Hang in there girl!" You can do it. As another member of the OEA I salute your efforts and send a little strength to say 'no' your way.

[Fine Mind]

Just dropping by to wish you luck. Just do one day at a time and each day will be easier. I am guilty of being a binge eater every day after work, but I am trying to change that and have been "clean" for three weeks. What is helping is telling myself that every bad thing I put in my mouth is sending me further and further away from the person I want to be. I'm behind you 100%! You can do it!

[terri73]

THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT EVERYONE!

I can say that I have offically made it an entire day with no cheating! I am a little surprised at myself! Finally a cheat free day. One down, two to go. After three days I have good willpower!

I am planning on sticking to it again tomorrow. I am going to go get that roast out of the freezer right now so that we can have it for dinner tomorrow ight. I forgot to get it out last night.

I made chicken and mixed veggies for dinner. It was really good. I have a little let and was thinking of puttingit away to have tomorrow.

Well....Friday Night Lights is on and DH likes for me to watch that with him.

See you all tomorrow!

[Fine Mind]

Originally Posted by terri73

THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT EVERYONE!

I can say that I have offically made it an entire day with no cheating! I am a little surprised at myself! Finally a cheat free day. One down, two to go. After three days I have good willpower!

I am planning on sticking to it again tomorrow.

Way to go! Now just focus on today. I know you can do it!!!! Lin

[terri73]

What a bad week I have had. We haven't had water for 3 days so I have no dishes at all clean. This is really making it hard to even want to eat clean. Which btw I have not. I am not going to lie or try to hide the fact that I haven't been able to stay on plan.

It seems like I have one thngs after another happening to prevent my success. I am going to have to find a way and stop the junk from entering my body. Eating is the one thing that I can contol. I have to remember that.

I bought chicken wings to make homemade and I think I am going to attmept some hamburger soup, god willing we have water tomorrow!

Honestly, I am so sick of being able to be knocked off my path! I have to learn to take control and not let things get me down.

I have to do this for my own sake!

[jadelily11]

Geez, I hope you get that water situation all fixed by tomorrow. I know what you mean by having "things" get in the way of trying to be good and eat right. Just remember to do your best and that's all you can ever do! Tomorrow is a new day. Keep at it!!!!

[terri73]

Monday~My water is finally back on!!! So starting tomorrow I have no reason not to eat on plan. I bought my Frank's so that I could get those wings cooked too!

My goal for the next seven days is to stay on plan and to be down 5 lbs by next week. For my size 5 lbs should be easy as long as I stick to plan!!! I cannot look back or I will give up. This week is the first week!

I only have a couple of weeks to get my butt into that Jersey and meet my goal for the month!

[pennylovesdarren]

Hi Terri,
Do you actually attend OA? I've been thinking about going. I haven't had much success following any weight loss plan b/c I overeat all the time. Just wondering what you thought if you do. I don't want this year to pass me by without significant changes in my weight. It's such a drag.

Thanks!
Penny

[terri73]

~penny~ nope I just know that I should belong to that group, but I live in such a rural area there is no support groups here at all. I am trying to use this as my confessional/success recorder just for my own sanity. I might make a good challenge group though don't you think?

I haven't been able to stick to plan and I don't know why. I just kep sabatoging myself. I hate being this giant blob of fat. I honestly makes me sick. I have to get my @ss in gear. The year is slowly slipping away and I have a lousey 3 pounds to show for it.

[pennylovesdarren]

Hi Terri!

Yes, I think it would be a good thread. I am reading a book about compulsive overeating right now that is really good. It is definitely making me more aware of what I'm doing and giving me some advice to overcome it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Your avatar picture is beautiful! And three pounds is going the right direction. Keep posting all your thoughts and feelings especially when you feel like eating. We will succeed one day at a time. It's tough to overcome an eating disorder. It's not like we can go cold turkey. We just have to become aware of what emotions send us to the refrigerator. We have to eat the food we really want not just whatever happens to be there so that we don't get satisfied by eating so we keep eating. Hang in there! You're doing fine!

[terri73]

I can say that I am proud that I am consistantly checking into my journal. Last time I think it lasted a couple of days. I do feel that the time has come to close the book on the way of life that I have been living. I ate things today that weren't Lc and I felt like sh*t all day, actually that is whatI DID all day. Too many carbs does that to me for some reason. I told DH today that I have to go back to my right WOE.

I right this mintue seem to feel like there is light at the end of that very long tunnel. I feel like I can do this. I haven't felt that way in a long time. I got food to cook tomorrow and I for once am excited to cook again. This is the feeling that I have ben waiting for.

i got my scale too. That means when my challenge group weighs Tuesday it will be here and waiting. I wil not have to go to my parents to use their scale. nothing is as nice as sneaking on the scale at their house!

[terri73]

~SATURDAY~I actually cooked tonight. And I mean cooked LC foods to last me for several days. The pork chop recipe I found is delish! I mae pork chops, wings and chili dog casserole, which I don't think that I really like. And I am actualy drinking waer as I sit here tonight.

[pennylovesdarren]

Good job Terri! You are doing it! Be kind to yourself!

[terri73]

For some reason I have been experiencing diharrea(sp) like crazy today. I know it is carb overload and until I detox it won't stop.

I am going to weigh tomorrow with the challenge group. I am hoping that I have a little change, but by the next weigh in I hope to be carbfree and on my way to a loss!

[terri73]

I got a wake call this morning about 6am telling me that my grandama had died. We had been estranged from each other for years. Only in the past four years or so have we started to get together again. In the past 5 months due to grandpas failing health I started going around a lot and helping out whenever possible. I had told her before that if she needs me all she has to do is ask and it took years for her to finally ask. I had such ill feeling for her from my youth. I always felt like I was a second class citizen in her eyes, but in the end I know she realized that I wasn't that 2nd class citizen that I was a good person and that I was the one she could count on.

I am not sure what the next few days hold. I cannot say what eating plan I will be on, probably none. Fortunately, I am down about 9 pounds from last week.

[jadelily11]

Just stopping by and giving you Hang in there Terri.. give yourself time to grieve.. I'm close to my grandmother so I just can't imagine what you are going through. You will be okay..

[scb1988]

Love your title!