~KrystaLyn~"Not Just Weight Loss" Journal

[Low Carb Mommy]

Good job Krysta! You are starting to sound better too! A mango sounds good! How did it taste? (trying to live through you right now... ) Like you said to me....don't beat yourself up.....it was a fruit....not a reese's cup. The protein shake thing is hard. Every time I try it, I can't make it the whole day. I get hungry quicker when I drink them. I am really anxious to see what you weigh on Wed. I think you just might get a nice surprise! Have fun today with the group! It will be good to get out and laugh.

[lcq]

It is mango season in Trinidad too and we get the sweetest juciest mangoes.......it can be hard to resist

[KrystaLyn]

I'm really debating whether to stop the pill for a month and see what kind of difference it makes. But at the same time, I don't want to quit them without the Dr.s approval. I just don't know what to do. As far as my diet goes, I've probably been eatng too much fruit lately. But I figure it's better than candy! Tomorrow I take my last pill for this cycle. We'll see what happens in the few days following that. I really don't expect to drop until after I actually START TOM, which probably wont be till Thursday or Friday, so I may just wait to weigh until next Monday. We'll see.

Yesterday:

Blackberries/Strawberries w/ cream and Splenda
Atkins Bar

S - nuts

D - Steak
Broccoli Salad
SF Raspberry Yogurt Salad

Dessert - SF Strawberry Shortcake
LC ice cream bar

Not the greatest. I need to really get back on track. I'm very frustrated with the whole situation. I don't know what to do.

[Low Carb Mommy]

I know this is a hard time for you. Especially when you see only a pin hole of light right now in this tunnel. It's hard waiting. I think this has been the hardest month you have faced.

If it were me, I would call my doctor and be very candid with him/her. I would tell them of what struggles you are having and see if going off is worth it in the bigger picture of things. You never know. They may have a suggestion or something they could change. One thing you don't want to happen is for your cycle to get all messed up. But since you have a little more time now before DH gets home you may have some time to buy. Only your doctor will know. I know you want a baby. Right now you are preparing. It will all be worth it if when DH gets home you are able to start your family right away. Call your doctor is my opinion.

Otherwise, you are still doing great. Keep up with your numbers. I haven't seen them on here. Don't get lazy with that now. And remember you won't feel this way in another week. Your appetite will be more controlled, and you will start losing again! I promise! How are your clothes feeling? Are you still feeling bloated? If you are brave, maybe you can take a sneak peek at your weight. It might not be what you think. It also might encourage you if you are still maintaining. Anyway,

[Edwards20]

Krysta, I missed you this weekend. I am sorry you are having a rough time. Remember the compliment from the sales clerk, ok ?

[lcq]

sorry you are having a hard time these days hun...looks like everyone has been going through a struggle lately...but this too you will overcome...just hold on to the iron rod

[KrystaLyn]

Originally Posted by lcq

...just hold on to the iron rod

Love ya, Lis That totally made me smile


I missed you too this weekend Candy! Hope you had a great time at the beach!

Beth, I know if I call the Dr. she is just going to tell me to stay on it. I told her all my reasons for not wanting to be on the pill before, and she put me on them anyway. I understand why...It's supposed to bring my hormones into balance, and shrink any cysts I may have on my ovaries. So that is why it's hard for me to just say, "OK, I will go off of them!" At the same time, I don't know if I can take any more of this. Maybe I just have to accept being this weight until I get off the pill...

[Low Carb Mommy]

I can tell you from experience that if you are taking BCP because you have cysts on your ovaries, then you do need to stay on them. I had the same thing when I was trying to get pregnant with my fourth child(we had lost our #3 son). It made it much harder to get pregnant. I will give you some hope though. I was not given the option of taking the pills. My only hope was prayer. It was a long journey....miscarriage, heartache, discouragement, but in the end God answered our prayer. During this time, we had a service at our church and the minister that was there was from out of town. He felt impressed to call up all those believing to get pregnant. DH and I went up. He prayed for us. When I went back for the checkup a few weeks later to check out the cysts, they were gone. Soon after that we got pregnant with #3.

I say all this to give you a little hope. We are not always strapped to what life brings our way. (I know that you know this!) Just give it a little bit longer. You are not going to give up now girl! You are right in the middle of TOM, and you know how emotions can get the best of you during this time. You were losing before this. See how you are feeling after TOM. Don't make any decisions right now. I know you are frustrated, but you will get through this time. Spend more time in prayer and ask the Lord to give you clarity on what He would want you to do. I will pray for you too. Remember the ultimate thing that we want to accomplish in all this is good health. We honor the Lord when we take care of the bodies He gave us, and He can't help but to honor us in the desires of our hearts.

[lcq]

Hi Krys...hope you are having a nice day

[Edwards20]

Morning sister !! Well, Beth said some things I would have said to you, and rather eloquently I might add. . I will continue praying for you. You can do this and we serve a Mighty God. !!

Hope you have a wonderful Wednesday.

[Low Carb Mommy]

[Edwards20]

That's beatiful Beth. I totally agree.

Krysta ... just checking in on you this morning.

[lcq]

Ok where are you missy...get your butt in here

hope you are having a pleasant day

[Low Carb Mommy]

Yeah! Where are you? You are making me worry and I really miss you!!!

[Edwards20]

I miss you Krysta. I am worried too.

[Low Carb Mommy]

You've been gone now for 4 days! I miss you!

[Edwards20]

Have I missed something ??

Were you planning a trip ? Are you sick ? Is Will ok ??

Krysta, I am worried sick about you. But then I just checked and it shows you were here online last night. I do hope all is well. I miss you.

[KrystaLyn]

Sorry to have just up and vanished for a bit. I don't mean to worry you guys.....sorry I took a break this past week. From everything. From the diet, from posting, from worrying and stressing about my weight. I just needed time to decide what I was going to do about things, and try to work out my mental state about what's been going on since I started taking the pill. I was going to give myself 2 weeks off, until my sister's wedding this Saturday, but I missed being on plan, so I am back on today.

I weighed myself once last week (I can't remember which day) and was 139.2. I haven't weighed since then, even though TOM started on Saturday, and probably won't until this Friday, June 1st. I think I am only going to do a weekly weigh in from here on out. I may just have to try maintaining until I get off the pill, which wont be until October or November, depending on when Will get's home. So I'm not going to stress so much about losing weight anymore. If I do, I do, if I don't, oh well. Today I am starting Induction again for a week, to cleanse me of all the junk I ate over the weekend (it was my nephews birthday, among other things) and get back into ketosis. I may stay on it 2 full weeks, just to do a full induction, but we will see how I feel at the end of the week.

I really need to re-focus and get my mind in a place where weight loss is not the main reason I am on plan. When I started back in January, that wasn't my focus. My focus was to get heathy and take care of my body in order to possibly get pregnant when Will got home. But the weight loss side of it kindof took over. Once I started taking the pill...which I have to stay on until Will gets home, the weight loss was affected and all I was thinking about was that, not my health benefits or just eating and staying healthy for Will, etc. THAT needs to be my focus, not the weight loss. It has been hard getting my mind back to that idea, but I think I am getting there. Thanks for getting on my butt and hollering for me! I'm so glad you guys are still here for me! I'm gonna need all the help I can get the next few days while I get back on plan!

[Edwards20]

Krysta, I am so glad to see you. Yes, we have been worried. However, I am glad that you took this time to evaluate and not worry. I do think that can hinder our weightloss. I know, when I am having a stressful time, I don't lose. Focus on the thing you need to focus on and the rest will fall into place.

[Low Carb Mommy]

Woo Hoo! Krysta is back! I have missed you so bad girl! I was getting really worried! I was going to give you 3 weeks and then I was going to start my investigating!

All of our focuses should be on being healthy! You are so right! We add so much stress, when we get over into having to lose a certain amount by a certain time. I'm sorry that we helped you in getting caught up in that. Thanks for reminding us all that being healthy should be #1 on our list for this WOE! I am glad you took some time to refocus yourself. We will help you to keep on track with your goals from now on. You don't need to be stressed out. That doesn't help your body and it certainly won't help you in trying to get pregnant once Will returns.

I think in the next 2 weeks you are really going to start feeling better. One thing that cheating does is remind us of just how bad we felt when we ate all that junk. You are smart to do go back to Induction to help start kick your body into where it needs to be.

I am just so happy to have my friend back. And later this year when you get pregnant right away (see that faith talking) you will have to stay here and talk to us! I can't live without my friend Krysta ever again!

[KrystaLyn]

Beth~ You are the greatest. You have the most wonderful words of encouragement for me, all the time...even when I totally blow it and fall flat on my face I don't know what I would do without you!

I have done just fine so far today...eggs and bacon for breakfast, cheese sticks and an Atkins shake for lunch. I think we are going out for dinner, so I can order a salad. I do need to go figure out something induction friendly for a snack right now, though. I'm feeling a little peckish. But already I am feeling TONS better.

I can't believe how much I wanted to get back on plan this morning. It's like I couldnt wait! To me, that is a good sign. It shows that even though I may have a few stumbles along the way, I can more than likely make this a permanent way of life if I am actually desiring to eat healthy after a few days of bad foods. I didnt eat ALL bad foods, but I definitely ate enough bad foods to make me feel sick and uncomfortable. The idea of eating a salad right now is heaven to me! Who would've thought?

[Edwards20]

I am glad you are feeling better. I agree with you, Beth is a Godsend. She seems to know just what to say and when. I truly believe that God is using her in a mighty way, and she doesn't even realize it.

[Low Carb Mommy]

You guys are SWEET! Muah!

[KrystaLyn]

So yesterday I did great.

B - 2 scrambled eggs w/ cheese and bacon - 2.5

L - Atkins shake - 2
2 cheese sticks - 1.5

S - about 5 grape tomatoes - 3
1 chicken tender dipped in ranch dip - 2

D - Red Robin Ensenada Chicken Platter - 2 small chicken breasts w/ spices (1) and lime dipping sauce (2?), small green salad w/ tomatoes and cheese w/ ranch dressing (4-5?) - 8?

Total = 19

I am going to keep on induction levels today, as well. I also went on a short walk last night, and walked 2 different malls all day yesterday. I actually felt like I had done some good exercise by the time I went to bed last night! I actually have been quite active this past week, despite my bad eating. I went on 2 major hikes this past week, as well as a shorter, easier one, plus a few walks. I don't feel like I am any heavier, really, and my clothes still fit the same. I wouldn't be surprised if I have maintained at 139 this entire month again. We will see.

[Edwards20]

I bet you have maintained. Hope you are having a good day.

[Low Carb Mommy]

It is so good to see your "light" on and you at home! Good job yesterday! How was your appetite? Are you still going to be testing to see if you are in ketosis? You are doing the right thing and getting back on it. You are a strong woman! No cheat will ever take Krysta down.....NEVER! Anyway, just wanted to say hi and hope your day went well today too. Talk to you in the morning or maybe late tonight!

[KrystaLyn]

Thanks Beth, it's good to have the light on. When are you leaving for your trip and how long are you going to be gone?

Candy, I'm crossing my fingers that I at least maintained!

Well, another day down. I am REALLY hungry right now, but that's because I have hardly eaten anything today...not on purpose, just because there is no food in the house and I worked tonight and didn't have any time to really make anything to eat, so all I had for dinner was a shake. I might have some tea to fill my tummy with something and hopefully make the hunger pangs go away. I was going to post my menu tomorrow, but I guess since I'm here I might as well do it now.

B- 2 egg crepes (from 1 egg) filled w/ cream cheese filling - 4

L - 2 egg salad - 2
2 slices ham (lunch meat) - 1

S - Atkins bar - 2
SF fruit drink - 2

D - Atkins shake - 2

S - tea w/ cream & Splenda - 2
1 blackberry - trace

Total = 15 carbs

I didn't do any "official" exercising today, although I did literally speed walk at the mall for an hour (I have been been frantically looking for a white skirt for my sisters wedding on Saturday and only had an hour to do it before work. I finally found one with only minutes to spare at Banana Republic. Whew!) I honestly don't know if I am going to get much exercise in this week with the wedding coming up and all the stuff we have to do, but I will try. Well, I'm gonna go fix me some tea!

[Edwards20]

Hope you had a good evening and enjoyed that tea.

[Low Carb Mommy]

Good morning! I hope I catch you before I leave. We are planning to leave at 1:00. We have a 8 1/2 hour drive ahead of us, and with 4 kids it will likely be 10 hours. We will stop for dinner at some point. Hope everything with the wedding goes perfect. My wedding day was perfect. I wish I could do it all over again! You did a good job yesterday with your eating. It has got to be harder to go back to Induction once you have eaten all those veggies and dairy items! But you can do it. Take care. I will miss ya. I will be back on Mon. night late so I will see you on Tues.(unless by some miracle I can get on someone's computer). Have a great week!

[seb]

Krysta~I was just reading this last page of your journal. I'm going through the same thing with BCPs. I went on them last year because of out of control perimenopausal symptoms, but I KNOW that they are slowing down my loss. It's very frustrating. I'm on them for 3 months straight, then take a weeks break. I have wanted to go off them, but they have gotten the hot flashes, nights sweats and migraines totally under control, and I can't go back to what life was like before going on them. So, I will stick with it and go with the slow loss.

You're right, though, that this is for more than just weight loss. We are making our bodies healthier, and that is the most important thing. You have done such a wonderful thing by getting healthy before having children. I wish I would have done that.

Glad you found a skirt for your sister's wedding. Is it this weekend?