Coconutty's "gettin' it together" Journal

[Coconutty]

I’ve thought about starting a journal for a while now, but haven’t done it. But I know I need to do it now, in order to keep me accountable and get me through the rough patches,

A little about me…this morning the scale said 229.2, and has said so for the past five days. This is the point where I start to get frustrated. I know it’s gppd progress that I’ve lost 16.8 since I restarted induction on 10/16, but I lost the first 9 lbs or so in the first two weeks, and the other lbs seems to have come off painfully slow. I have not cheated except going off plan on thanksgiving (which I planned) and I went back on plan the very next day. No cravings really, except I really wanted some eggnog (love starbucks eggnog latte). But I got some Davinci’s eggnog flavored syrup and it seems to be doing the job.

After not losing anything after the 1st 2 weeks, I decided to tweak my diet and add a few carbs back, this was about 1 ½ weeks before thanksgiving. This got things moving somewhat and I went down 2 pounds immediately, but nothing the next week. After thanksgiving, I decided to return to induction to really get back on track after going off plan. That seemed to kick start my weight loss again, because I lost down to 228.8 by 12/9. But since then, not so good. I bounced up to 232, then back down in increments to 229.2, and this is where I’ve stayed. And oh, no loss of inches either. Lately the measuring tape has not been my friend either.

So here I am, trying not to get frustrated by the last week and a half. I wondered if the weight fluctuations were due to the low carb barbeque sauce on the ribs I made last week. So over the weekend, I decided to do M&E for three days to see if excess carbs was the culprit. But you know what? My weight stayed the same before, during, and after the three days, so I am back to what I was eating before, keeping carbs under 20 grams. I know that if I stick with this woe, the weight will go, eventually. But sometimes it feels like I will never get there. Besides, I want the weight gone yesterday .

What I ate today,

B: Flax seed muffin, coffee with fibersure, cream, and splenda.

S: coffee with fibersure, cream, and splenda.

L: leftover steak with small garden salad. Ranch dressing. Water.

D: Overdid it a bit…pumpkin sausage soup, 2 bacon cheese puffs, slice of sf cheesecake (no bake made w/sf jello).

[Coconutty]

Still!

The day's off to a bad start. I overslept, again. Very tired and haven't even had any coffee yet. To make it worse the PTA gave us a breakfast today (I work in a school), and all they served is bagels and juice. no coffee or tea available. Needless to say, I stayed very far away from it, but that didn't stop 2 parents from stopping by my office to try and get me to eat a bagel.

But I did ok food-wise. I nuked 2 bacon cheese puff and ate them in the car on the way to work. Now if I can just get some coffee, I might start feeling human again.

[Coconutty]

I did well at lunch. I had a small garden salad with grilled chicken and ranch dressing, About 4.5 carbs total.

After I came come, I felt myself on the verge of an LC binge. First thing I ate was an LC ice cream bar. Then I started to prepare more of that yummy pumpkin sausage soup, but then I saw some nuts in the cabinet and wanted to eat them too. I ate about a quarter of a 1.5 ounce pack, but then stuck it in the fridge, because I started feeling what I feel when I binge. It doesn't happen very often, but I know the feeling when it's coming on. It's usually a good idea to leave the kitchen at that point, but I was in the middle of cooking! Anyway, while cooking, of course I ate some of the pepperoni and sausage going into the soup. Oh, and also I opened my netrition order and saw the eat well sf chocolate bars that I ordered, and of course ate one. Shared a bit of it, but ate most fo it. It was less than 2 carbs, but still not good considering what I already ate.

When the soup was done, my first reaction was to serve up a bowl, but I stopped myself and told my self to get a grip on what I'm doing. I decided to do something else and if I was still hungry at that point, then I will eat a small serving of the soup. So I went to do housework for aabout a half an hour or so, then served my self a small portion of soup in a small coffee cup and got the heck out of the kitchen!

I feel better now, but wonder how much this will affect me in the morning's weigh in. All in all I had about 22-23 carbs for the day, so It wasn't that bad. I just don't like that out of control/binge feeling. Yuck!

[Coconutty]

At least the scale is moving, although this is what I weighed in 12 days ago. But I'll take it, considering how I ate last night.

Today I had to face another breakfast at work, given at the district office. I purposely got there 1/2 hour late to minimize my time around the food, which was bagels, muffins, and fruit. A high carb extravaganza! At least they had coffee and tea available, but the only sugar sub there was sweet and low. Yuck! Lucky for me, I had a packet of splenda stashed in my purse.

Today's breakfast was two bacon cheese puffs. I dunno about lunch....we'll see.

[Coconutty]

Another pound lost. Hurray! That's a total of 4 lbs. in the last 21 days.

I feel like I have to fight and scrape for every pound! I know one thing, I cannot do this again! I have to keep that foremost in my mind and make it my biggest commitment to myself. Last year I lost 36 pounds and maintained for about 7 months. I packed it back on somewhere between 11/05 and 9/06. I still have about 17 pounds to go before I make it to my lowest weight in 11/05.

I fell off the LC wagon, hard somewhere in the late fall '05. Back then two things gripped my life, bone crushing fatigue and depression. I would wake up every morning feeling horrible, like I was drugged or drunk or something. I managed to drag myself to work and back, and once home had to log in hours of research for my dissertation. I had no energy or motivation for excercise, or to shop and prepare nutritious meals for myself. I subsisted on take out and processed foods.

After a while I knew I was gaining weight, but could not face the scale. If I knew the number, then I knew that I would have to do something about it, and I felt that I could not handle restarting a weight loss program. At some point my cousin suggested that I go for a sleep study because of my constant fatigue. But I didn't do it, because I thought that my problems where basically my doing. I felt if I did better as far as going to sleep at a consistent time, eating better, and excercising, then I would feel better. I also believed that addressing the depression would also bring on a major change, so I decided to tackle that thru my spiritual path. Besides, I have had intermittent difficulties with sleep for most of my life. And as for never waking up and not feeling refreshed, I thought I was not a morning person. For the most part, I always functioned well. But after a while my memory and ability to concentrate began to fail and I finally I realized I really wasn't functioning at all.

In October, I decided to search for a sleep clinic, and wouldn't you know it there is one here at a local hospital that I respect. Before going to see the sleep doc, I had to see my GP, and there I faced the scale and it showed that I regained everything I lost. Within a few days I restarted LC. I didn't have much energy still, but I knew that I had to push myself to at least eat well, even if I didn't have the energy to excercise.

Well fast forward to the results of my sleep study, my sleep doc gave me the final diagnosis: OSA -- obstructive sleep apnea. Actually, he thought I had it from my initial exam, because I have a narrow airway. And also, I have a family history, as my father has OSA. Duh! You would have thought I would have made that connection a long time ago. I've probably had it for most, if not all of my adult life.

Anyhoo, the sleep study showed moderate to severe apnea. I had 180 episodes of apneas/hyponeas (no/slow breathing) in 6 hours of sleep for an average of 30 per hour. With each episode, my brain wakes me to some extent to breathe again. No wonder I was tired! Oh, and sleep doc says that the OSA is probably worse when I sleep at home, b/c unlike at the sleep lab, at home I am completely comfortable and relaxed.

So I have to go for another sleep study next week to get fitted for a CPAP machine to help me breathe at night. Sleep doc also says that I have to lose about 50 pounds to improve the OSA. He is even hopeful that I can get off the CPAP if I lose the weight. BTW, he is a proponent of LC and was very happy to hear that I've been doing it since Oct. He said that LC has helped him.

So I pray that the CPAP will work for me, so I can find relief and finally get it together! Hence the name of my journal. You know, most of my problems are attributable to the OSA, including depression, weight gain/difficult weight loss. I no longer kick myself for gaining back the weight, but I regret not getting earlier treatment for the sleep disorder and generally not taking care of myself. I vilified myself for a long time for not being able to get myself together, when all along I had a medical problem that needed treatment.

And so, one of my top priorities it so take good care of myself.

[twinkerbell]

Hi Coconutty!

[twinkerbell]

Sorry, I wasnt finished writing...still new at this!
It sounds like you're doing well! Could you tell me about your bacon cheese puffs? I haven't heard about them yet..Thanks!
Keep up the good work and stay focused; we're all here to cheer you on!

[Coconutty]

Hi Tinkerbell!
Thanks for visiting my journal.

I got the recipe for the bacon cheese puffs from the recipe page. Here it is:

Bacon Cheese Puffs

1/2 cup heavy cream
3 eggs
1/4 cup atkins bake mix --
can substitute other mix or protein powder
1 pound bacon -- chopped & cooked till crisp
1 pinch salt
3/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup grated cheddar cheese

Beat together eggs, cream,
bake mix, pepper, salt. Stir
in bacon &
cheese. Bake in muffin tin (I
used a little of the bacon fat
to keep
from sticking). Bake at
350F, 25 minutes. Makes
12 muffins. These are
great for breakfast and
snacks.

For the baking mix I used carbquick and added 1 tbsp softened butter. I blotted the bacon really well and baked the puffs in foil muffin cups. Really yummy, except next time I will omit the salt. Between the bacon and cheese that's enough salt. I figure the carb count minus fiber is about 1.7 each.


Thanks for the encouraging words!

--Alisa

[4meonly]

Hi Coconutty!

I know exactly what you mean about fighting for every pound. It seems like the weight just melts off of some and hangs on for dear life to others. You are doing a great job though, keep it up and those pounds will come off!

[Coconutty]

Hi 4meonly,
Thanks for visiting my journal!

Well I went off plan on Christmas, but I am back on plan today. I had my guests take home the non-LC food so there is no more temptation. The funny thing is that eating most of the carbs were not as enjoyable as they once was. Who woulda thunk? I guess what they say is true, that eating low carb makes you not want to eat the bad stuff. Who knew? I always that that was nonsense! So I did not overeat, but the beverages got me. Plus the Harry & David mini cheese cakes. Those are the devil! The absolute devil!

Today I'm drinking water and eating on plan. I had ham, eggs, and a flax muffin for breakfast, pumpkin soup for lunch, and lc cheesecake for snack. Dinner will probably roast chicken and spinach.

Tonight I have to go for my sleep study to get my CPAP. I was worried that I would not be able to do it tonight, b/c I have a sinus infection and am so congested. I have been a literal snot factory! I know, TMI, TMI! But it seems like the meds I've been taking have dried me out some. About time too, because the congestion was so bad that I haven't slept for 4 nights.

Anyway, I am on vacation still for the next week. I have the ambition to get some excercise in. We'll see...

[twinkerbell]

Thanks for the recipe..can't wait to try it!
Hope you're having happy holdays!

[Coconutty]

Your Welcome, Tinkerbell

I had pink strips as of yesterday afternoon, so it took me about a day and a half to get back in Ketosis. That has to be some kind of record for me. Today I haven't eaten anything yet. Bad, I know, but I'm just not hungry. I'll go make some eggs in a little while. As for weight, I'm up .4 pounds to 228.2. I really, really, really, want to get a visit from the woosh fairy!

Well I went for the sleep study Tues night. Never a pleasant experience. Along with the 20 wires and sensors strapped to my body, I also slept for the first time with the CPAP mask over my nose. It was jammed up my nose, and not a sexy look at all! Anyway, I did manage to get some sleep, and the tech told me that I slept apnea free! So this thing just may help me. On the other hand, I found myself waking up frequently during the night and felt terrible in the morning. When I got home, I crashed for several hours, then spent the rest of the day feeling out of sorts, because I slept half of the day away.

Anyway, I guess I'll go feed myself. This afternoon I'm going to get my hair done, yay! I also need to shop for some groceries There is a yummy - looking quiche recipe that I want to try.

[Coconutty]

Yay!

That's a 1.6 loss since yesterday and a 1.2 loss since my christmas indulgences. I'll take it!!!!

Only .6 lbs before I can join the 20 pound club!

So far today, I've had ham eggs and coffee with caramel davinci's and cream. I don't know what the rest of the day will bring yet. Actually, I just ate. Being off work screws up with my bio-clock. I cant even think about food before 11 or 12 o'clock. But when I'm at work, I must eat by 8:30, or I'm dying from starvation.

I may even meet my new years goal of 225 if that nice fairy sticks around. I didn't think I was going to make it. On 12/1 I was 231.8 and I thought a 6-7 pound loss during December was a reasonable goal. But I didn't want to post it out of fear of not making it, but I do have it posted on my bedroom mirror. Two more days to go!!!! Maybe I'll make it afterall.

[Coconutty]

OH...and another thing...I'm claiming that loss NOW! Changing my stats right now........

[4meonly]

Congrats Coconutty! I'm sure you will make that goal. Send that fairy my way please, I need all the help I can get.

How is that davinci's, what flavors have you tried? Is it just for coffee?

[Coconutty]

Hi 4meonly,
That fairy is on her way! She only stayed with me one night, but hopefully I'll see her soon. As for the Davinci's, the flavors I have are chocolate, french vanilla, caramel, and egg nog. They are not just for coffee, you can use them to bake too. I used the egg nog to make mini cheese cakes, and the french vanilla in flax seed muffins and in a pumkin cheese cake. My fave is caramel in my coffee, yum!

[Coconutty]

Well I did a lot of cooking today, or I guess technically, it was yesterday. I try to always have cooked food on hand, but I managed to make it thru the week without cooking. That left me having ham for breakfast. At lunch, there was nothing to eat but ham again and a slice of pumpkin cheesecake. Does the pumpkin in the cheesecake count as a vegetable? Anyway I knew that I had to shop and cook.

So I spent 4 hours in the kitchen and this is what I made:
Turkey meatballs
Pumpkin sausage soup
baked chicken
sauteed spinach
a bacon cheeseburger pie
a batch of bacon cheese puffs.

Can you tell I like bacon? But seriously, I just took some of the bacon that was going into the cheese puffs and put it in the cheeseburger pie. Yummy! I had a slice of the bacon cheese burger pie for dinner. I also ate half a meatball and half a cheese puff. I just had to taste, and what good cook doesn't? But I still didn't eat any veg. Not good.

I also wanted to make some salmon cakes and almond meal muffins, but I was too tired. Well tomorrow's another day.

Weight wise, I'm holding at 226.6. Unless I have a woosh tonight, my Dec. weight loss is 5 pounds, which is decent I suppose, but I would like to lose faster. I definately need to work some excercise in. My energy level is low, but I just gotta force myself to do it. Also, in a another week or so, I may try eliminating certain foods to see if I'll lose faster. I'm waiting a week because TOM is imminent and I usually get a post TOM woosh. I want to see what that will be before making changes. In any event, I know that I need to get off my booty and work it!

[wisnowbird]

from a fellow New Yorker! You'll be at that 20 lb loss mark soon - keep it up

[chloe2t]

Hi coconutty! Thanks for he encouraging words at my journal. I think it's awesome that you have been cooking up to have food for quick meals. That shows that you are one smart person, and qutie dedicated as well.

I hope you see a big whoosh soon, as you are obviously working hard for it!

take care and I will visit you again soon.

chloe

[Coconutty]

Hi Chloe and Wisnowbird. Thanks for the encouraging words!

Today I am holding at 226.6 and TOM should be here any minute now, so I'm not anticipating a loss for the next week or so. Food wise, today has been great, except I'm not drinking enough water. I have to get better at that. But for breakfast I had a slice of bacon cheeseburger thingy with spinach, and for lunch I had turkey meatballs with avocado and tomato salad. Yay, veggies! I missed you.

Tonight I was going to do New Year's with my friend, her BF and others at this restaurant/lounge. But I decided to go to my brother's instead. My friend's BF said the cover charge was $20, which sounded exceedingly cheap for New Year's eve in NYC. But when my friend called the place herself, she was told $75, which included a full 5-course meal. This restaurant serves Jamaican food, and being Jamaican myself, I know that most of the meal would not be LC friendly. So I said no thanks, I don't want to spend 75 bucks on a meal I won't eat.

This is so weird for me. Before I would have just gone to the place, eaten all the food, and worried about it later. This time I feel a real change in me from deep inside. I never was this committed before. Besides, I know that I can eat at my bro's house, cause SIL has a turkey in the oven as we speak.

Anyway, gotta run, It's a long drive and I haven't gotten ready yet.
Until next year....

[TXCutie]

Hi coconutty. I've been enjoying your journal. The bacon cheeseburger pie sounds great. Would you give me the recipe. I'm trying to find different things to cook so that I don't get bored with eating the same things this time around. Any recipes would be greatly appreciated. Keep up the great work, and keep blogging. Everyone's journals are such an inspiration.

[Coconutty]

Hi Txcutie. Thanks for visiting my Journal.
I agree with trying new recipes. I think it has really helped me this time around. Last time I did lowcarb, I got bored after a while eating the same things. I'm usually a creative cook, but seemed to draw a blank cooking lC. But lucky for us, there are plenty of creative folks on this board to give us ideas!

I got the recipe from the recipe room, with a few of my own tweaks.

Bacon Cheeseburger Pie

Ingredients
1 pound lean ground beef
4 strips bacon crumbled
1/2 small onion chopped
2 cloves garlic crushed
3 eggs
1 cup heavy cream
4 oz shredded Cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste.

Brown ground beef and drain welll. Breakup chunks until fine and crumbly. Add bacon, onion, garlic, and season with salt and pepper if desired. Press beef mixture into bottom of casserole dish and set aside. Beat eggs and cream together, add chesse and salt and pepper. Pour over beef and bake in 350 oven for 40 minutes or until lightly browned and bubbling on top and the center is set.

enjoy!

[Coconutty]

...but I am! You know the type that has tons of fitness equipment and doesn't use it.

I took an inventory of the things that I have:
a treadmill
a total gym
an urban rebounder w/videos
a Katami bar w/balance ball and videos
2 & 5 lbs hand weights and 5lb ankle weights
2 or 3 resistance bands
a reebok step bench w/video
various videos including: WATP 1, 2, & 3 mile set and WATP walk/run dvd, Turbo Jam, 4 of the Firm videos, Kathy Kaehler step workout.


I go through periods when I work out regularly then I fall off. But I've got to get it into gear and restart an excercise program. I usually enjoy excercise and have really used most of the things I have, but some of the things i didn't like so much. So I've decided not to force myself to do what I don't really like. For instance, for some reason I can't stand the Firm videos. In fact, two of them I never even unwrapped. And I also don't really like the Katami bar system. Maybe I never used it consistently enough to see results, but I feel like it's a waste of time. Maybe I'll try selling them on ebay.

I also have a back problem that I worry about, and it is due in part to excercising on a piece of equipment that I later sold. The problem is in my sacro illial (sp?) joint, basically where the spine joins with the hip. I went to PT a couple of years ago, but I still have recurrent soreness/stiffness that I am concerned about. That's want has kept me off the urban rebounder, which I thought was a lot of fun. I am also too paranoid about my back to use the balance ball. However, I took a 6-week yoga class recently and it has helped. I'm going back to yoga this week and plan to keep it up 1 - 2x per week. I think I will also try the rebounder again after I lose maybe another 10 - 15 more pounds.

I am also going back on the treadmill this week and am looking for a cheapie TV and dvd player to watch while on it. I used to have a really old TV there, but it died. The treadmill and total gym are in a room my basement, so to make matters worse I actually do have a lil home gym at my disposal. So I really have no excuse.

And I know I am nuts, but I have been eyeing an elliptical machine they are selling on home shopping network today. I have no space for it, but the price is right!!!! seriously, I know I can't justify it because I am not using what I already have, but........I want it.

I guess I like new toys. Maybe I'll treat myself to that, as a reward when I get to onederland!

[chloe2t]

I hope your new year finds you achieving your goals and loving yourself more!

chloe