Like a phoenix rising from the ashes...

[tiggy_oz]

The ashes of my past life that is. Well im still officially IN the same life as well i didnt actually die but uh you know what i mean.

Yup im a long time member back for another stint of getting healthy while staying accountable. I have not been here in .. gosh at least 5 months and more probably much longer than that - i have actually done reasonably ok in my time away. I was so on the track to health with LC'ing and working out 6/7 days a week in feb-june. I was looking hawt(er), running over 10 mins in a row on the treadmill and just feeling fab.

Dun dun duuuuuuh - uh the life went to hell in an easter basket and i finally walked away from my marrige of 4 years. Combine the stress of having to live with an ex in the same home due to financial limitations, drinking to much port wine, not exercising, starting smoking again and you have the makings of a bad situation.

I moved across country to live with a friend of mine and left most of my stuff and life and friends in brisbane and went to melbourne. Since then ive been half arsed at being lc.

Currently i am on a "finding myself trip" staying at my mothers home in alabama. I recall the last time i was here i gained like 30lbs in 60 days so i reinlisted in lc since i landed. Ive been far from perfect with cheats or really trying but i think at least paying attention to things is better than goind hog wild with the american lifestyle of eating out many times a week and not exercising much.

I dont have a scale here and they are always such great motivation for me. Withough seeing measureable success i find it hard to be totally strict like i NEED to be.

The test will be after i fly back to australia in mid jan and get on a scale a week later after the flight influenced swelling has gone down.

I intend to use this journal to put whatever i want into it to ensure that i am at least THINKING about health. Just the act of coming here is a big success and will help keep me moving forward.

I also am in a very difficult place mentally right now so i think this journal can be my place to spew stuff out so it doesnt eat me up. I wonder if it gives hugs too.

*hugs herself*

[cdn_gal]

sweety! So good to see you back, you have been missed!
Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time right now, but you already took a HUGE step in returning here! Looking forward to reading your journal again....

[tiggy_oz]

great to see you again darlin - i admit i did have a sneak peek at yours the other day and wow your doing great!!

Im actually pretty positive about life most days, just sooooo much change and uncertainty.

Thankies for the hugs!! I love me some hugs

Ok, guess ill post my day
I have this really nasty cold so uh my food the past few days has been very little because although i might feel semi hungry, im just not in the mood to eat and my throat hurts to much etc etc

B: decaf and cream, spicy sausage slices, provolone cheese (all drained of fat)
L: cup of chicken broth, 3 hotdogs with mustard on a 4 carb wrap
D: theraflu haha and coffee and cream

Exercise was uh not on the cards today as walking was making me dizzy. Mentally a reasonable day although i had to play mediator between 2 friends who it seems are no longer friends which is a shame to see happen. Silly males and that whole face saving thing.

Been hiding out in my room a fair bit this week as the holidays and other stresses are taking a toll on my mother. I have a hard time listening to negatives all the time and the tone of voice really bothers me. I did tell her how i felt in a non judgemental way and i think she understands a bit. I do feel bad that im hiding out but i mean all they are doing is watching tv and id rather do computer things than veg at the tv.

Took some codiene with my theraflu so hopefully i will actually be able to sleep soundly tonight. Actually its kicking in already..

[tiggy_oz]

well i ended up having dinner last night after all - just much later than a normal person. Was some chicken breast, coleslaw and cottage cheese. Had a splurge of a LC ice cream bar.

Today looks like a decent day. Its a bit overcast but nothing to dreary. Im feeling somewhat better than yesterday but i wont really know till i get up and try to do something physical. This afternoon ive got to go to destin to work with mom and then off to tallahasee where we will have dinner and pick up my brother.

I think ill spend the morning doing whatever barn chores need doing and i hope to round pen and ground drive ginger as i skipped yesterday. I think ill lay on her back and see how she takes it (shes not broken to ride yet and im doing the pre-training). I wish i was short and little so i could get on her cos i dont think she will do anything stupid but im not so ill just have to find someone to sit on her. Will miss that lil girl when i go home. I totally forgot how much i love horses until i have them back in my life. When i return to uni ill try to find a way to have them in my life again .

No planned exercise for me today but if i round pen 2 horses and ground drive that is a fair bit of walking so it surel does count.

[tiggy_oz]

Well today went reasonably well. I was not perfect but as i am more trying to maintain where im at opposed to expecting big losses im pleased.

b: defatted spicy sausage and cottage cheese
l: tiny bit of chicken and cottage cheese
d: was starving and the only choice was chinese and i tried my best to keep to legalish stuff - chicken on a stick stuff, debreaded chicken wings, some broccoli that didnt appear to have much sauce on it.
S: oops, 1 little pastry kinda thingy at midnight with coffee after we picked up my brother 3 hours from where we live...

So the pastry thing was kinda bad but it was really small - just one of about 10 from my moms plate.

Was great to see my brother again. He has gotten more entertaining with age. He and i both dont put up with much poop so this holiday shall be interesting to see how the power strugles and control dramas from grandparents and mom turn out. Today grandma was the PITA, and grandpa was playing good guy but that is subject to change on a daily basis.

hmm 1am, time for bed

[tiggy_oz]

today was a success .

B: 2 coffee + cream and spicy defatted sausage and provlone cheese and cottage cheese
L: (was late) 3 hotdogs, 1 lc wrap, cabbage salad
D: (not eat yet but planned) bbq grouper and cabbage salad

Exercise - going to do pilates tonight. I totally hate having to do them with my mom cos i cant do things when i want to cos shes watching some tv program or whatever excuse so i have to try to make it convinient. (leads to me not doing it as often)

Also although its not exactly hard exercise i round penned ginger for 40 mins so thats 40 mins of walking (not super brisk but its walking). Swept out the barn and assorted other chores so i didnt totally sit on my rear.

Today is the last day i get to talk to a close friend of mine before he goes on vacation. I wont see him till i return to australia and i will miss his chats with me from now till then.

Heading into destin tomorow so i probably wont post again till sunday but i plan on being a good girl

[chloe2t]

hi!

I love the idea of the phoenix rising from the ashes- So appropriate and poetic!

I am new here, just reading the journals so I can get to know you all. btw, I think that you are very pretty!!

I'm on Atkins for the second time, so i especially appreciate those who are trying again.
hope to get to know you better!!

chloe

[cdn_gal]

Have a great holiday season ya sexy lil thang!!

[tiggy_oz]

Merry ho ho to all and to all a good... well you get the picture.

Lei, thanks for the xmas wishes, i see you went journal hopping - hope you were a good girl and santiclause brings you something nice.

Hey there chloe, thanks for stopping by and saying such sweet things. Gotta love flattery hahahah! I to like to read random ppl's journals to get to know them and kinda live life alongside them. I get motivation from it and enjoy the personal touch. Thats so great that your back to doing LC and taking care of yourself. We WILL do this!!

OK guess its time for a weekend update right? Uh i was semi good over the weekend. the beer friday night was not overly low carb and it was rather a vat sized glass. Sat morning's breakfast was not uh totally lc with the cresent rolls stuffing that up. Ok thinking about it sat was a write off i guess. Those rolls and then one of those chocolate and PB and banana smoothies at tropical smoothie after a marathon shopping day. Sat night i was good until the bar staff were feeding me random shots and jagermeister etc.

We do our christmas on the eve as a tradition so my family christmas is over. I was good at dinner other than the 2 shortbread cookies but i mean really thats not that bad considering. We skipped the present thing mainly as we all really disagree with the increasingly commercial nature of the holiday. For the first time since 1999 we were together as a family - wel other than my uncle but thats ok cos he's not my fave. I did get a surprise present from my father who i havent seen in 7 years. He sent me some logic puzzle thingys and a big pile of cash. Totally appreciative of the cash as i have spent a bit to much here with my impending move cross country looming.

Oh right the shopping trip - went to that ross's store and o m g - man if you are willing to spend some time in there digging around you can get some brilliant clothes. I walked out with a cool silver belt, some trouser socks and 10!!! tops for about 80$ - i mean thats wicked. I love my new shirts and i realy did need some summery clothes cos im going to be returning to australia in the peak of summer in january.

Oh and i rediscovered that i dislike drinking to excess and that is always seems like a good idea at the time - till i have to deal with the day after. Going to the after hours club was probably not such a good idea hahahah. Chatted up one cute guy so that was fun. The friend i went with was really sedate as her bf was there and i dont like her as much when they are together cos she kinda retreats into her shell and hes not overly outgoing either. My brother and i did have fun but man.. i felt wretched this morning from lack of sleep and dehydration. Ill just have to remember when i return to uni that i do NOT have to drink like the young ppl

Ok enough crapping on for me. I suppose im just feeling like bla bla bla'ing.

Tomorow i have to go to stepfathers family christmas lunch thingy with 19 people. Hopefully i will survive but i am looking forward to tasting some of the southern food.

Oh and i think either my black cargo's have stretched out or i lost some weight on my legs. My stomach doesnt feel any smaller but my legs are looking strange in my pants. (cant wait to get home to aussie and get my rear end in total LC poster gal mode)

[chloe2t]

ha ha... not flattery when it's true is it?

Well, thanks for popping by my journal!

I know that we can do it. Great about the pants. I doubt they stretched, i think maybe you shrank ( shrunk, shrinked??? never been go great w. grammar...) Anyway, fantastic for you

chloe

[cdn_gal]

I totally Ross!! Good thing we dont have such a store here, I'd go seriously broke! But everytime we go to Seattle, that's always one stop that is on the list of places to go!
Hope you had a great time at Stepfathers family christmas lunch thingy!!

[tiggy_oz]

hehe grammar is not my friend, neither is spelling - can't ya tell?

Ok i will say i was a bad girl at the xmas day lunch thingy but although i ate non lc things i really did watch portions. I figured it my one chance to try all these funky southern foods since ive never had em before and its rather unlikely i will have em again in .. oh well forever.

Been on and off my lc since but really watching portion stuff and sticking 90% to lc. Yup i know its not perfection and this plan really has to be worked to have good success but i know all that and am making better choices than i could be thats for sure!!

Had some dramas in getting along with my mother this week. She is driving me totally insane and as much as its nice to see family it will be nice to go home. Although when i think about it i really dont have a home since i kinda left my husband and my home in northern australia and am only residing with a mate of mine in melb. Meh, dont wanna think about that - things will work out.

today my mother was much easier to get along with thank god. Went out to the mall with my grandma to buy bra's at lane bryant but uh she got tired after about 10 mins and bra shopping is a long process normally so i just kinda said whatever and left. Got a couple nice necklaces though at this really ncie dept store that was going outta business. - yes im bargainaholic girl - its a student thing

have had a few successes today. I only tasted the mince pie (the mince brought down from canada cos american mince is WAY to sweet and sickly) instead of eating a whole piece. Sniffed at the peanut brittle instead of eating some. And had a lc ice cream bar thingy instead. I win yay me.

Been trying to be good with not buying to much stuff. Note the word trying. The way i escaped lane bryant was to think, if i lose anotherr 20lbs ill totally be able to get into the 18d's (aussie sizes) and they make alllllllll sorta sexy bras in that size. Keep trying to talk myself outta getting a new garter set but uh i might get that anyway cos its hard to find them even in an 18 at home.

Guess thats about it. Feeling a bit ill tonight so hopefully ill get an early night. Oh and i have done a bit of exercise. Went for a walk around 30 acres yesterday with the dog looking for an fence to tie up which i was unable to find in the end but at least i went for a hilly walk for 30 mins.

[tiggy_oz]

well today was a fun and good day other than one ittsy bitsy indescretion

had hotdogs for breakfast, went out to this awesome awesome place for lunch and avoided the BEST onion rings in the entire world. Had bunless burger and salad. Dinner i was good too and had shrimp diablo at the mexican place. But i kinda had a margurita cos like they were leaving the last of the pitcher and it had the GOOD tequila that they made up special for us (we are v good clients). But i considerr the day a damn good success.

Oh and i got the CUTEST most awesome black suede skirt that was normally 200$ for 27$

[packy90]

im here for you too you are doing good here...so when in jan you leaving?hang in there you can dooooooooooooooo it girl tami

[tiggy_oz]

heya tami - thanks for popping by

I leave back to australia on the 15 usa time and lose a couple days travelling to arrive back on the 17th. Totally enjoying my time in the states other than its winter here and uh my body thinks it should be about uh 90F.

Had a good success this morning. My mother went all psycho for no real good reason this morning and instead of reacting to the stress of.. hmm what can i eat, instead i was about ready to strap on my running shoes and go run/walk around 30 acres. I mean i didnt end up going cos it was pouring rain but for that thought to be in my head i reckon is def an indication of where my head is at.

Today im going to go into the mall and see if i can find shoes to match my skirt and get some pretty underthings. Then lunch at the place my grandma is staying but i think id better bring a salad or something cos i heard she was doing sandwiches which as we all know i dont eat.

Having a hard time fighting the non smoking monster. Have had a few the last few days and although im stressed with this living situation that has to stop. Im out of them as my brother the smoker has now gone home to canada so unless i buy some i should be ok. I should do some good exercise to remind myself of what its like to be fit and be able to breath clearly

[tiggy_oz]

totally had to fight the non smoking thing today. Its amazing how strong a pull it has even after being quit for a long time. I came thissssssssss close to getting some but talked myself outta it (like 10 diff times) despite the retardede xcuses my brain wanted to use - like its new years and you smoke when you drink. I win!

Food today was ok
B: nothing
L: chicken and a bite of tart and cheese
D: green beans and a wee bite of fish and ham (leftovers)

Im still kinda hungry so i might go and get me a snack (hotdog wrap). I have a feeling i had a hotdog this afternoon after returning starved from "lunch"

BTW i just want to ensure its very clear that im pretty much half arsing this and doing a maintenance level right now as living in thi house as a guest for an extended period of time makes it very very challenging to maintain a strict lc. No its not excuses, just wanting it put here so ppl who might happen to read my drivel dont think i am such a crappy low carber. I KNOW this plan backwards and forwards right down the cellular biochemisty of it all. And i know what i am doing i not proper lc

My damn cheesecake cracked and i was soo fussy with it and water bathed it and cooked it slow. Bastages!!! Oh well, it just wont be perfect for the new years thingy but it will be good anyway

[chloe2t]

hi tiggy! Just thought id pop in and see you!

it is definitely hard to eat lc when you are a guest somewhere. Considering that, i think you are doing great.

I didn't realize before you were in Australia. That's cool.

As to your cheesecake, I'm sure it will be great as it is!

chloe

[chloe2t]

hi tiggy i miss you. please post soon you!

chloe

[packy90]

ya tiggy where you at we miss you tami

[Arynn]

TIGGGGGGGGG!!!

*bear hugs and sexaaaaay kisses* Gawd! I had no idea you were back... and in Bama no less... I am like one state over!!! Broke as hell (as per usual LOL) or I would say I would drive to visit!

How are you my girlie??
mail me at melinda.mercer at yahoo.com

[tiggy_oz]

aww you girls are sweet - its nice to come back to friendly faces in my journal.

Mellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll hi baby !! Glad that came back too, youuve been mia for ages (been perving on your journal too)

Arent you in hotlanta? If so then if your free at all this weekend we will have to meet up - im gonna be there for friday - monday. Heck your probably elsewhere but i just thought i had it in my head you were there. PM me or uh if youu have msn we can chat or whatever

Ok, journal stuff - today im on a serious kick. NO more messing about this week. I feel i have gained a bit cos my one pair of jeans that i havent worn here cos they feel kinda muffin toppish are even more muffin topish lol. So uh perrhaps its cos they are washed but i dunno - im not going back to aus ad hopping on a scale to bad news. So, im on strict lc this week. NO tastes, no excuses no bs.

I got me some atkins shakes and ill do them for breakfast and lunch and have lc snacks and dinner. Ya ya its screaming crash diet but this is what im doing and im happy to at least feel empowered.

So now i need to get up and go out for a walk. Im charging my phone so i can load some music on it. Its a reasonable day but might rain. Been so rainy here that doing stuff outside is really low on the agenda. I did do a lot of non officiall exercise yesterday with the horse training. I purposely did my ground driving of ginger (the quarter horse pony filly) at a trot with me behind or beside instead of say grouund driving her in a circle with me as the fulcrum. As a result i ended up having to jog a fair way and as always there is heaps of walkking involved in the training ive done with her. I need to get some decent photos of her and i together (ie me in non barn clothes so ill show them to ppl hehe) and im going to miss her so darned much!

I got me a git r done hat yesterday - its my southern states souvigneer and well i just love that southern comedy thingymajig. Actually it always reminds me of this place cos of one of the old challenges.

Had an upsetting chat with my retarded ex last night. Ended up in tears blah. Remind me not to try to help him survive by giving him support and advice (hes a total fool) cos he wont give it back in return. In the end it worked out ok i suppose but i ended up staying up till like 730am talking to another friend and being silly to put myself back in a happy place.

Gots some new boy stuff going on but probably way off topic for here yet. Seeing a fefw in melb and none of them inspire me (roy did but hes to... emotionally immature for me to want to be involved with). New friend lives in syd and we get on like.. well Fyre . Im waiting and seeing though but hey, at least ive got ppl in my life that care and make me smile like a fool all day.

Gosh i want a nap... wasnt i sposed to go for a walk?

Ill go play journal / board surfer sometime later so i can catch up with y'all but i think im to tired atm.

[tiggy_oz]

Ok im back

Finally

Appologies Mel, - i ended up losing net and hadnt pulled your phone numberr offa it and couldnt get in touch - pity cos sunday was such a lazy day a drive out of town would have been wonderful.

A few things to report. Yup i been MIA for a while now but life has gotten nuts on me and i think finally i have a week or so where i can settle down and do.. no traveling.

Ended up getting a strange route home to melbourne via LA and auckland - although i didnt get to bad a jet lag i caught something on the plane and have been fighting a mean mean sinus thingy which only yesterday did i allow to totally manifest. So i feel like crap right now but thats life, whatever.

When i got home i found an advert for a girl looking for a housesitter for the year to look after herr kitties - so i followed up on that and ended up in sydney for the weekened visiting another net friend (ticket was cheaper that way funny enough) and then on up to townsville on sunday to see this girl. We got on super well and she has ofered me the place. So rent free for the upcoming uni year is boding well for my overstretched and really nonexistant finances.

Got my tickets booked to move up there in feb - im gonna fly to newcastle, visit some mates for 3 days and then onto brisbane where i will have to pry the car from my ex husbands hands (hes being a bit of a tosser about it all but what can i expect from someone as irresponsible as he).

I am fairly pleased that over the course of being away from here for like 3 months in a row i have managed to only gain about 3lbs. Not to shabby really considering the last week i have eaten total crap.

So im back on track now 100%. I have a scale and a tape measure somewhere and im going on strict LC as FINALLY i control my environment. I already went out for a short 20 min walk despite feeling like im going to die from lack of oxygen (damn cold).

Found a gym i think in the new town as well as a new internet thingy, now i just need to figure out the square meter of my stuff and talk to one of the backload movers.

Its happening!!! WOOT (oh ya btw i got into JCU for vet science). Now i just gotta wait for my official transcript so i can apply for some credit exemtions and not have to take stupid chemistry again.

Can't wait till i drop a feww more lbs. I am up 15lbs this year from my low gym bunny weight and im sure its not just the lbs that matter but the lack of muscle but uh 15lbs isnt that hard now is it .

Im SOOOO worth this! *thumbs nose at the world*

Keep on keeping on people!

[Groovycadreamr]

Tiggy~ Where are you girl? !!!!!!