~*~* Visions of Sugar Plums *~*~

[Mom2Daisy]

OK, so that's all I could come up with this close to Christmas. Besides, that's ALL I'm gittin' with sugar in it! *Hmph*
I may tell you all more about myself at a later date. For now know I'm a WOMAN (age 32), Christian (Rom. 5:8), Married (so you're all out of luck), work full time (unless posting here), one DD (hence the S/N), and yes, I am a recovering carbaholic.
I've been reading other people's journals and decided to unleash the writer in me. *growl*
Feeling a little feisty since the big weigh-in this AM. Oh yeah....3 pound wooshie!
I've been having a little vision of a keto-Mrs. Pac Man "waba waba waba" chomping away at my fat cells. You go girl.....:::chocolate bars in hot pursuit::::: "waba waba waba" Oh you hit a goal!! Chocolate bars suddenly turn into lobster dipped in butter. ('cept I'm doing Stillmans right now....we'll skip that fact. It's my day dream.) First 10 pounds down....on to level 2!!

Also, I can be as goofy as I wanna be in my own place.

Ok, onto business -
Food shoveled , I mean eaten today:
B: FF Cottage cheese
S: HB egg
L: 4oz. Beef fillet
D: Shrimps
Coffee intake for the day - met goal at 1 pot
(WOW!! Look at me go!)

Water: working on that...two bottles if you count crystal light mixed in. I do!!
Exercise-See above coffee goal met and know I am at exactly 45 paces to the women's bathroom - 50 if I go to the handicap stall (which is my own little personal haven equipped with all bathroom necessities including a word find!) so 90 to 100 steps round trip each time I "go". Not bad all things considered. Going to work harder tho.

I welcome any feedback but don't feel obliged . Just lurk all your little heart desires.

Until next time....
Angela
The cottage cheese savoring soon to be skinny gal!

PS: For those with 'issues' I must warn you I may not always use good grammar or spell all words correctly. Consider this the warning label or legal disclaimer. I have my own pet peeves.....but I'll be ok as long as you don't type with your mouth full or let me hear you smacking like a slopped hog or hocking loogies. K?

[Mom2Daisy]

Ha...I got the booty of a peacock 'cept ain't all fluffy with feathers!
Down another pound today. :::waba waba waba waba::: *Go girl go* << talkin to My little keto-Mrs. Pac Man I got to sleep in as well. That's a double reward this AM. I don't work on Fridays but I usually have to get up and get my DD on the bus anyway. BUT today DH was off work and I sweet talked him into getting up and leaving me in the warm warm bed. So warm I'm wantin' to get back in it now and it's 10:00!!! I have a room to paint today at the remodel house. It's the last room that has NO paint. The rest have a few touch up issues but the lines are all cut. We are going to do a faux finish in our bedroom. Little nervous.....I've done tons of fauxs but DH is picky on this one for some strange reason. I just hope and pray we don't get into a big o fuss. I'm just thankful he cares about the decor and doesnt' wait till it's all said and done to say "nah, don't care for it".
Better get movin' this morn. It's so cold and Food Network is making some awesome smoked brisket......a legal food I tell ya!! Most of the time I watch it with the lights out feeling all guilty. Maybe just a few more minutes curled up on the couch.
TGIF
ANgela

[Mom2Daisy]

Ok, ok, I’m a lazy week end poster. I’ll have to catch myself up on what happened the past few days.
Holding steady…..
All things considered – this is a VERY good thing. Had a wing-a-palooza Friday night. I’m pretty sure the ranch dressing I had was filled with carbs because I crashed hard right after. Saturday, I regained my mojo to continue on my quest! Had to face a Christmas party that night. I did munch down but on LC stuff. The most carby thing I ate was probably imitation crab meat salad. On to Sunday…..Woo Hoo no gain baby. (That’s when it gets dangerous….to eat junk and not gain. Gives you a little FCC: false carb confidence.) But I dodged the chili dinner at M&FIL….had my nice baked chicken breast. I know I was all the envy of that party! But I couldn’t temp a soul with ff cottage cheese when MIL whipped out the Italian banana split desert. ::: drool :::
I’ve noticed some good things this week end ….. We went on our annual tour of homes. This is my DH and my only consistent Christmas tradition. As we climbed several flights of stairs to marvel at the historic homes on the tour I noticed my knees were not hurting near as much as they had been while climbing stairs. ::: knee dance ::: It’s only 11 pounds so far but my body is thanking me for it already! Also, you know the feeling you get right after shaving the inside of your thighs…..when they rub together it’s really smooth. Well, I DIDN’T shave but had this odd feeling right above my knees. IT WAS JUST SKINNIER THERE!!!!
Food for today:
B-CCheese
L-Chicken breast
D-Prob. shrimps or fishies

[Mom2Daisy]

Went grocery shopping after DD gymnastics last night. I was starving I didn't go to the pastry isle but I did grab a bag of beef jerky, pork skins, and laughing cow. (I'm not laughing now!!) I forgot all about the canned chicken I had at home. I was in a rush to nosh. This AM I was expecting a small woosh after holding steady for almost a week. Nada! Can you say SO DiUM?
Had another laughing cow wedge for breakfast....yes, that's all. Going to have a can of that chicken for lunch and hopefully something really tasty for dinner. I'm going to make it to my Christmas goal if I have to fast until it gets here!! (If you believe that, I got a bridge for sale in my back yard!! ) I really do want to work harder. Maybe incorporate a little exercise. It hasn't rained here in weeks and it's supposed to come a downpour this afternoon.....that's my luck. Or maybe it's a subconscious thing. I only WANT to exercise when it's almost impossible. My DH would say that the same way I am about S3X

Later Taters,
Angela

[Mom2Daisy]

I tried I tried I really did. I attempted to drink one bottle of plain water for every bottle I mixed with crystal light. I got half way thru one plain bottle and started gagging. I could drink my weight in flavored water but for some reason the plain just sickens me. Maybe it's the water where I work?? Naaa because I don't like the water at home either. Tap/filtered/bottled plain water is not good to me unless I'm thirsting to death in the middle of summer.
Not really looking for anyone to solve this problem. Just noting to myself that I tried once again to drink plain water. It still stinks!

Can you tell I'm really bored at work today? To discuss my water intake to this degree is almost disturbing me! One thing about drinking lots of water - flavored or otherwise - you get plenty of pee breaks! Gotta "go"

[Mom2Daisy]

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood........hmmm hmmm hmmm
Oh yeah, I saw the numbers move finally!! I KNOW how silly it is but it could be considered a mental disability ya think? ( as I have been fasting and it's only the lack of food in my digestive tract)

As fellow strugglers and losers with at least the average of intellect (most of you seem to have plenty of intellect!) I just wanted to address the 'facts' here. #1 We all KNOW we need to lose weight. #2 We all KNOW how bad extra weight is for the body. #3 We all KNOW HOW to lose weight. You can't go 2 feet in any checkout line without seeing the latest greatest diet plan plastered on a mag. So tell me friends....Why is it so hard to WANT to lose weight to the point of disciplining ourselves? Why are we drawn back in?? I just want it to finally CLICK!! I'm just thinkin' out loud today if you don't mind.

For me, it's not simple. I have a lot of hang ups with weight and food. Family history of obesity. (and also high blood pressure and diabetes). Rewards were always food at my house. Rejection plays a major role in my self esteem. Low self esteem lead to not caring about my body. Not caring about my body leads to even lower self esteem "Self Rejection". Partner all that with a true love of food and I'm a ticking time bomb ready to explode myself right into Cheesecake Factory! When DH and I were going to get married, he made some pretty rude statements about me gaining weight (size 6 when he met me, size 12 when we married) For the past 13 years I've been trying to make him accept me no matter what. That blew up in my face a few years ago when I hit the 200's. I would say to myself "If he REALLY loved me for me, then my size wouldn't matter" In the process of making my point I have destroyed my body. I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with me.

Who needs a shrink when you have convenience stores?
I saw a t-shirt one day in a gas station that opened my eyes. (Yeah....revelation at the Chevron!) Big Hershey Bar with this statement below "Unconditional Love". That's when I realized that's what I had been looking for from DH but made up for his lack of UL by indulging in food. Teamed with the fact that we can't change others, we can only change ourselves and how we perceive others. So began my eye opening.....I didn't love myself unconditionally so how could I expect other to? Still working this out and DH is now a Born Again Christian with a much better outlook on things. But I have to remind myself that I am the ultimate cause (me and my wrong thinking) of this weight problem.

Sobering I know.....just had to get it out and in the light.

[Mom2Daisy]

Much more optomism in this weight loss journey than I have had in ummm say FOREVER. I'm not pressured by anyone or anything. Just on a trip with no turning back. I'm setting my goals *WITH DATES* Dates are important. To say "some day" isn't very motivating. My reasons are not just to look good in jeans. They are to feel good in my own skin. All the other benfits are a bonus
I can't say I've been eating too healthy. One - two small protein meals a day if that. I actually have been fasting a bit. No stringent rules to follow. Other than me not letting one grain of sugar past my lips. When I put too many rules on myself, I tend to get rebelious and set myself up for failure. It's one day at a time baby! Just one day at a time.

Angela
Learning to love me......

[Mom2Daisy]

ok....my optimism has turned sour. I caved!! Arrrrrggggh I went through the whole Christmas holiday without one grain of sugar. Then came the nuts......legal yet dangerous I tell ya! Then last night....the LAST get together of the season and I cave in to this wonderful desert that NO I would not make for myself therefore my normal defense didn't work. I felt pretty sick all night. Cried on the way home but not sure it was from the sugar crash or general dissapointment in myself. (prolly a combo of the two) I'm fighting with myself today .....my little devil on one shoulder is saying "Go ahead, eat more sugar....you've already ruined your ketosis" Then my angel is saying "Today is a new day, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again" So far I'm listening to the angel but where exactly do these delicious cashews fall?? LOL TBC.....

[Mom2Daisy]

Back on track! I had gained two pounds but have those wittled away now Working on getting back to strict Stillmans after making a discovery about myself two nights ago.....I'm addicted to flavor. I seem to overeat when I have something really tasty. I guess that's another reason I need to stick with stillmans....sans the flavor packets A little salt on an egg....maybe a dash of hot sauce. The other night I ate 5 chicken thighs the because I shredded them and added chili spice and a little splenda (I like sweeter chili) I ate the WHOLE pan full of meat!! Needless to say I was sickingly full afterwards. Hmph But I SO love the tasty things. I know eventually I need to deal with my overeating issues because I'll be faced with them again....skinny or not. I'm taking one step at a time though

[Mom2Daisy]

Noticing a pattern here that has been my downfall on previous weight loss attempts.

FCC - false carb confidence.

I use emotions for an excuse to go off plan (happy, sad, joyful, depressed, angry, etc.)- in turn, I gain a few water weight pounds - get focused again - lose the water weight - get emotional again by the time I get back to 'new loss' mode and think "It will come right back off, even if I do have some (insert choice sugar laden food)." The scales fluctuate 4-5 pounds losing the SAME 4 or 5 pounds each time.

Game plan to avoid FCC -

NO MORE NUTS
I don't care if I have to stand by this the rest of my life. Nuts begin a downward spiral for me. No excuses!!! You hear me missy??

MORE WATER
Yesterday I drank several bottles of water with diluted crystal light and had a good woosh last night.

EXERCISE
I checked out a callenetics tape last night. Going to try several before I invest. Plus, I'm poor right now I also know the statistics about those who exercise keep the weight off at a much higher ratio than those who don't. Not to mention toned skin tends stay close to the body v/s untoned skin's tendancy to flap in the wind


PRAY
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!! Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. This should be number one.


Also, I found this on another journal post and wanted to mark it for my own trip down weightloss lane :
Keep Driving!
"Losing weight is a process," says Howard J. Rankin, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose (Stepwise Press, 2001), "one that requires work and naturally involves problems. So falling on and off the weight-loss wagon is to be expected."

Think of it like a road trip. When you first get on the road, do you expect to never have to stop and get gas? To never have to check the road map to get your bearings? Also, when you get lost, do you get frustrated and say, "Forget it, I'm going back home"?

No. You keep going. Because the place you want to go is worth the trip, and giving up is not an option. It helps to look at weight loss in the same way: You will get to your weight goal, no matter what the route. Rest stops along the way are only pauses. They're not failures; they're lessons learned. It's getting over the fear of failure that stops a lot of people from seeing weight loss as a journey. When you've lost and gained over and over, the prospect of dieting can become more intimidating, rather than less. You don't want to be disappointed again. It can be hard to get back on track.

[Mom2Daisy]

Posted this on one of my group threads and needed to keep it here for a reminder. It's not that often I make a good point so I need a record of it!!

I'm proud of you Susan! I know exactly what you mean about getting past the evenings. Once you do it for a few days and see the scales move it gets easier. It's my Mother's house that does me in. Something about being comfortable there. I just want to eat. Doesn't help that I'm there everyday! She is very supportive of this WOE and has LC things around just for little ole me .

The important thing is to not turn around and give up. I have to remind myself of that all the time. I had gotten so heavy this past time because I was so discouraged to even start again. Being the genius that I am, it took me a long time to finally figure out that I had to do something becuase the weight wasn't coming off my itself. Duh! Can you believe that? I still have plenty of issues to deal with during this journey and have slipped up many times but I don't have to do this overnight. It took me 15 years to get to my high weight. What's another couple of years getting it off? Don't get me wrong, I want it off YESTERDAY!! But Yo-yo is my middle name . and I know if I take drastic measures to get there, most likely it won't stay off. To me, that's even more depressing.

But, that's what I especially like about this group. You all seem to be in it for the long haul. The ups the downs, the failures and the victories. You can learn from all experiences without beating yourself up too bad and in the process help the rest in their time of need

Boy! Didn't know I had all that pent up inside! LOL I may copy this and post it in my journal for later reflection I need to tell myself all these things daily. I guess that's enough ramblings from me today.

[Mom2Daisy]

Just reminding myself how awesome it is to be in ketosis!! I haven't had any caffiene in a while but I'm ready to run sprints! I can only imagine how good I'm going to feel when the rest of this weight drops! And..Oh yeah...it WILL drop!

And....just to be able to brag SOMEWHERE....I HAVE LOST 20 pounds!! Wooo Hooo

[Mom2Daisy]

208.0 This morning! Yippie~

I'm going out on a limb here and making a statement I've made so many times before. The difference this time is I'm not overly confident in Angela and there isn't a huge fear of failure. Someone will know what I mean to say "This time really is different." I've slipped and slopped a few times already but it wasn't that hard to get back on track.
Our pastor has been preaching about this being the year of the drawn sword. Referencing the Lord drawing his sword on our behalf. All He is waiting for is us to confront our enemies and He'll take if from there. The term "sweatless victories" came into the message as well. When it is the appointed time, things seem to be less of a struggle. Weight has been my enemy for as long as I can remember. I'm taking this word and pairing it with the faith given to me and believing THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT! I'm not going back to a careless, fat existence. I'm not going to dive into a mountain of sugar and lose myself in it's intoxication. I smell coffee for that fix now

So, here's to a new body, a new outlook, a new life and a lot of new friends

[Mom2Daisy]

After a little bouncy bouncy with the scales. :::in my best boxing announcer voice::: "Weighing in at 207 is the undefeated, unstoppable MOM2DAISY"

Yep! I'll take it baby!! Woo Hoo

Announcer: Now Mom2Daisy, what are you going to do after this victory?
Mom2Daisy: I'm going to ONEderland!!!

I even ate at FireMountain yesterday! Made some darn good choices if I do say so myself. A little sugar creeped into my salad dressing I'm pretty sure but I was still peeing pink last night

I can't be this obnoxious in real time...so whomever reads this will just have to put up with me!! I'm rather humble face to face. This is my brain on Internet!

I did make a discovery yesterday (usually have these revelations when I say something I've been thinking out loud). When discussing weightloss with people now, I'm not obsessive like I was back in the yo yo days. I have found, the more humble and subdued one is discussing their WOE, the more sincere they are. That is what I discovered about MYSELF. The times before, I'd be so full of it that my family didn't want to be around me! LOL Now, unless I'm asked, I don't even mention what I'm doing different. And I NEVER...repeat NEVER state things like "Oh I CAN'T have ****** ". My sis and DH ask me if I can have this or that and I say I can have whatever I want, but I CHOOSE not to eat XXX. There's a whole lotta NOT feeling sorry for one's self to be had if you can adopt that attitude. I can't claim a pattent on it, I have many people on this BB to thank for the positive reinforcing messages I have bouncing thru my head .

And the ONE who I have chose to give my mind and body to....My Lord Jesus. His thoughts of me far outweigh my thoughts of myself. Thank goodness! Here's to allowing HIM to recreate me from the inside out!

One more brag......25 pounds gone!!! I'm 1/4 of the way there!! No turnin' back now.