LT2936's journal

[LovesDivine]

Starting my journal today, 12/4/06, to keep track of my food and exercise (and thoughts!) and see what is working and what is not working. This morning I weighed in at 158. Been going up and down between 159 and 157 for several weeks now. If it follows the same pattern, I should be 157 tomorrow. I don’t drink enough water on the weekends and don’t exercise. So I am usually up a pound on Monday and then I drink 120 to 160 ounces of water on Monday, do the treadmill, and am at 157 on Tuesday. Then all week it goes up and down.

I made a tuna casserole with Dreamfield’s penne (first time using it) last night and had about a cup of it with a can of green beans (with butter) for lunch today. It was very good. I am pretty happy to be able to add pasta dishes back in and not go off plan. I am curious to see how the “pasta” affects my weight. At this point, with the stall, I am not really concerned. It will be interesting to see if the lower calorie intake today has a positive affect! Since I skipped the meat at lunch and had such a small portion of pasta, my calories are about 150 to 200 lower on average. Breakfast was 2 boiled eggs and 4 ounces of dry pulled pork, lean only. Not sure what dinner will be. Maybe a couple scrambled eggs.

We sold the house this weekend. Spent all day Saturday house hunting for a new one and made an offer on a very nice home on Sunday. It needs work, but in the end, it will be a great home and will have everything that fiancé and I need. Me, the large open kitchen, I love to cook. Walk in pantry – I am so excited! I will get all new appliances. I am bummed about having to use old stuff until we can afford new stuff. We just got all new appliances at the ‘old’ house.

We decided to get married on 12/22. Going to do it at the courthouse, with my parents and my son, and his daughter and son. Then we will go away for a couple days but come back for Christmas Eve and Christmas. We hope to close on the new house the following Friday 12/29. Our closing on the ‘old’ house is 2 weeks later on 1/15. Lots to do this month!

What is on my mind right now is setting up the Christmas tree. It will be the first one with my fiancé and his daughter is used to doing it all herself. I have my memory ornaments and a few ‘nice’ and color coordinated ornaments. I like clear lights; I like a tasteful and simple tree. She just goes hog wild with a mish mash of ornaments and trimmings that fiance’s mom gave to him after the divorce. The tree I have always used is small so the ornaments I have are small. We will use his large tree. I think I will hit Walmart after work today and pick up some more clear lights, and several boxes of pretty ornaments. Then I will ask fiancé to get down both sets of ornaments, and go thru them all and come up with a nice assortment that won’t make me cringe, but will give my step daughter the feeling of having some ‘input’ into the tree. Hoping that works to make both her and I happy. It is hard to blend families, especially one with a pre-teen daughter that is used to doing things for them that I am used to doing. And we have our own ways. He shares partial custody at this point. The tree for his kids will only be seen once by his kids after it has been put up not including a couple hours on Christmas. It will be in my home every night. Maybe I am being silly, but I have always enjoyed looking at the lights sparkle and the pretty ornaments, and last year, I looked at their tree and was like “yuck!!”.

[LovesDivine]

Menu:
B/F: 2 h/b eggs and 4 oz pulled pork
L: 1 cup dreamfields tuna casserole and 1.5 cups of green beans w/1 tbsp butter
S: 1 oz pork rinds and about 10 macadamia nuts
D: 5 hot wings

I don't think I had enough protein at lunch cuz I was in a major snacking mood come 2pm. But the pasta was a nice treat.

[LovesDivine]

Weighed 159 this morning. So, maybe the dreamfields had a negative affect? But then again, TOM is just a couple days away.

Regardless, today’s menu is looking more like induction.

B/F: half of a cheese omelet (from the café at work) and a ¼ lb Sam’s burger
L: 6 chicken wings w/o skin, and 1/5 cups of broccoli w/butter
D: 6 ounces pulled pork, dry

No macadamia nuts for me today either. Someone here (Cali?) says they are the devil in her siggy. Maybe they are my problem. I got a bag a couple weeks ago and snack on them between meals since they are a good thing to tide me over. I certainly have not been over snacking, the 12 ounce bag has about ¼ left in it. At least I don’t think that is over indulging? I have 2 boiled eggs with me in case I need a snack. Also have kept a can of Vienna sausages in my cabinet just in case.

Fiance’s parents now want to be there when we get married. I don’t know the details yet about when they will arrive etc. But I am guessing they will stay over at least one night. I am not gonna stress over it. But it is still so soon after the horrible treatment I endured from his mom over Thanksgiving. Since it is my “turf” this time, and my day, I will just smile and do my thing.

[LovesDivine]

Dinner last night was not pulled pork - it was 2 HB eggs.

I was down to 158 this morning and TOM is just a day or 2 away. Still not back to the 157 that I was last week though. But I am very happy that this WOE is working for me and I don’t have any desire to eat off plan. I did my monthly Sam’s shopping after work yesterday and picked up a couple ‘take and bake’ pizzas for fiancé and the kids. While they ate pizza, I happily snacked on a couple boiled eggs and portioned my Sam’s stuff and put it all away. Not one urge to take a bite of pizza. Woo hoo! I found Davinci SF Hazelnut and SF Kahlua syrup at Sam’s and picked up a bottle of SF Vanilla at Walmart the other day. I am building up my stock!! This morning I enjoyed a mug of Cinnamon Hazelnut coffee and I did not miss the International Delights version one bit. Davinci has got it going on!! I also got 18 Egglands Best eggs for $2.89. Having an omelet right now, and yep, they do have a better flavor. Definitely worth stopping at Sam’s more often to pick up some eggs.

So, I know I am in a stall, but I also know that I am not gonna gain weight this Holiday season and that is a good thing to know. The weight will come off eventually if I stick with this. And it is not hard to stick to at all. Today’s planned meals:

B/F: 2 egg omelet w/1 slice American cheese and a ¼ lb Sam’s burger
L: 4 oz dry pulled pork and a tomato and avocado “salad” drizzled with fresh salsa
D: I think I will steam some broccoli w/butter.

Tonight will be quiet, fiancé is traveling for work. I will definitely get my butt on the treadmill. Fiance and the kids are camping this weekend so I will be able to get the Christmas shopping done and move on to getting married and moved over the next couple weeks. Fiance took his kids by the new house yesterday evening and they are sooooo excited. My future step daughter could not stop talking about what she is gonna do with her room, what she wants to do with the “loft” area upstairs, the pool…the huge kitchen. Fiance told me she stood in the kitchen and spun around slowly and said, I can soooo see Ms LT in this kitchen – she is gonna love it! Oh, wow – I won’t be LT in a few weeks! Weird. But I am very happy that his kids, especially his daughter, are excited about the new house. Makes things easier and more exciting when the other half is totally cool with the change.

[LovesDivine]

Nix the pulled pork and tomato/avocado "salad" with salsa. I am just not in the mood for heavy food today. So, i went to the cafe downstairs and made myself a lovely tossed salad with cucs, tomatos, red onion and romaine topped with some Ken's Caesar dressing (that dressing is the bomb!) I think that was a good choice, fewer calories. Maybe that is my stall problem, the old bod is used to the caloric in take I have maintained with all the protein and is hanging on...we shall see!

[LovesDivine]

Oh the joy of cinnamon hazelnut coffee! Davinci syrups rock. I am so amazed that I don’t miss the international delights version. I actually used to put this in my coffee back when I was not serious about lc and considered it an “OK” part of my “diet” because it was just liquid. Sheesh! Was sipping and driving this am on the way to work and realized that I can actually taste the taste of the coffee under the wonderful nutty semi sweet flavor – and I liked it.

Watched the Biggest Loser last night. Man, the first hour with the high school kids had me all teary eyed. That could have been my son. Oh but for one little decision that I made last year, and it could have been him. He was always a thin kid, could see his ribs. Always VERY tall for his age also. Back when I was married before, he used to come home from school and couldn’t even get homework done before the neighborhood kids were knocking on the door. He was always outside playing or swimming in the pool. When I divorced (he was 9), we moved to a small apartment in a sort of not so nice area, and he didn’t have any friends, and I didn’t encourage him to go out for fear of him getting hurt or something. So, he watched TV and played video games and slowly grew from a boys size 14 to a mens size 33 waist (29 length) and weighing about 145 lbs. Granted, he also grew lots of inches – up to 5’4 or 5’5 by the time he was 10. But he was definitely getting chubby. In the 5th grade, his classmates considered him one of the “fat kids”. He was not in to sports, liked to bike and skate, but that is boring with no friends. When we moved to Brandon, I decided to enroll him in baseball. This was Feb 2006. That was the decision that changed the course of his weight gain, and confidence level dropping. Baseball led to fathers noticing his height, and stockiness and commenting on how good of a football player he could be and that led to me signing him up for football. By the end of the football season, November 2006, he weighed 120 lbs and is now 5’ 6” and a half and in a mens size 28 to 29 (he likes his jeans baggy, good grief)! And his arms and legs and stomach are TIGHT! Now he runs on the treadmill after I get off so that, according to him, he will be in great shape for the upcoming baseball season. He loves sports now and he is interested in staying in shape. And he is no longer the "fat kid" in 6th grade. He is one of the most popular and is considered the "football player" and the tallest kid "EVER" to be in the 6th grade.

For the 2nd morning in a row I have allowed a couple extra minutes to cook a 2 egg and American cheese omelet. I am happy with the change from boiled eggs. I discovered that I was getting bored with boiled eggs, and was heading downstairs to get an omelet instead. I am sure that they use milk and margerine, and of course, all the veggie, and meat options down there were too much to resist, and added too many calories and carbs I think. Having my omelet with 4 slices of tomato this morning and am very satisfied.

Menu today so far:
B/F: Yummy cinnamon hazelnut coffee, 2 egg omelet w/1 slice American cheese cooked in ¼ tbsp butter, 4 slices of tomato
L: pulled pork w/1 tbsp Kraft low carb BBQ sauce, 1 and ½ cups of green beans w/1 tbsp butter
S: I have an avocado and some fresh salsa and also 2 hb eggs just in case. Higher in fat but better than pork rinds or nuts at this point!! Much more filling.
D: I dunno…maybe another omelet or some more pulled pork and some steamed broccoli.

I was bad last night. Fiancé was out of town and I was all emotional over the Biggest Loser and I got myself a glass of wine, and a bowl of pork rinds and read in bed until 11PM.

Forgot to post weight - I am up 1lb this morning to 159. Blah!

[LovesDivine]

Weight today is 158. Still bouncing around the same 2 lbs that I have been struggling with for about a month. When is it gonna give??

Argued with fiancé last night. I am having a real bad TOM (that still has not arrived) so I am cranky and sore but he really upset me last night. For the last almost 2 years, each month, a Victoria’s Secret catalog comes to his house (now ours) addressed to his ex wife. Maybe I am super sensitive, but I just can’t order from a lingerie catalog that is addressed to the woman that he used to remove this lingerie from. It conjures up images that I don’t like have to have conjured up! Each time this catalog comes in, he hands it to me. Before I lived there, he saved it and when I came over, he’d hand it to me “in case there was something I wanted to order”. Each time, I hand it back and tell him no thanks, the catalog is addressed to your ex wife. You’d think he’d get a clue and stop giving it to me? So, I am sitting on the couch last night, feeling crappy, he comes in from being out of town overnight, and drops the catalog in my lap. Grrrrrrr. I finally just said very firmly, I am really getting tired of you giving this to me month after month. I think I have made it clear that I am not comfortable with it since it is addressed to your ex, I know she wears VS stuff, I think about her in it and you and her together, and I just don’t like that image. I asked him to please stop giving it to me, again. He got all flippy and said, it is just a catalog, who cares who’s name is on it, and besides, she and I used to go to Carabba’s, are you telling me that you and I can’t go there since we used to go there? He just does not get it. It is because VS is an intimate apparel retailer…I suggested that perhaps many months ago, he could have called VS and have the name changed to mine. He acted like that was silly. Like my feelings about this were silly. I told him he was being an @$$ to me about it instead of just respecting my feelings…he got mad at that word. Not pretty. Ok, I know that he probably would like to see me in some of this stuff, but then he should get a clue and have the name changed?

Thanks for letting me vent O journal of mine!

Sooooo before all of that I made a great “stoup” as Rachael Ray calls it. It sort of evolved. I had a small head of cabbage and decided to boil it in chicken stock, and was in the process of making spaghetti for the guys. Decided to add a couple more pounds of ground sirloin to the pan and reserve some to eat with the cabbage, then decided to turn it in to a stoup. So I took out a little less than half of the meat, added 2 cans of beef stock, and about 1 cup of this awesome fresh salsa that I get from Sam’s club, the cabbage, and some garlic and onion powder to the pot and now I have a really yummy and super simple stoup to eat for the next couple days. Only 36 net carbs in the whole pot, about 9 per serving.

Today’s menu:
B/F: 2 egg omelet w/American cheese and 4 slices of tomato
L: beef/cabbage stoup
D: beef/cabbage stoup or pulled pork (I never know what I am gonna eat for dinner. I always have multiple options in the frig/freezer and just eat whatever suits my fancy at the time. I plan breakfast and lunch on work days though in order to stay on plan)

[LovesDivine]

Last nights dinner was just a small tossed salad with romaine, one slice of tomatoe, 4 green olives, 1 tbsp caesar and a tbsp of fresh salsa. It was all I really wanted. There rest of the family had spaghetti and corn along with their salads. Didn't bother me a bit. Weighed 157 this morning and TOM has arrived so I have my fingers crossed that there might be a downward move on the scale in a couple days!

Menu:
B/F - 2 eggs, fried in 1/4 tbsp butter, small chunk of smoked sausage and 1 piece of bacon
L - About 4 or 5 oz pulled pork w/1 tbsp Kraft LC BBQ sauce
D - steamed broccoli and some protein, not sure yet what that protein will be.

It is just me and soon to be SS (9) tonight. Was supposed to be just me but SS messed up big time last night and fiance decided he needed to miss out on the camping trip as a serious lesson about consequences for bad choices. He and I are not all that close, I have not really worked on relationships with him and his sister just yet, SD is hitting puberty and has attitude galore and confused feelings, SS is a very young 9 yr old that is only interested in playing...so relationships with them have not developed beyond interacting with them via their father. Should be an interesting evening, spending it with a 9 yr old boy that I have never really gotten to know except on the surface!

[LovesDivine]

OK night. SS and I went shopping, I hope he keeps his promise and does not tell SD and DS what I got them for Christmas.... He gave me the same issues tonight that he gave fiance last night (the reason he is not camping) but we got over the hump and are having a nice quiet night together. Boy, he talks alot!!

His issue is eating. He has very few things that he will eat and that list does not include any veggies or fruits or grains. Think, pepperoni pizza, hot dogs, bologna sandwich, bacon, pancakes, pop tarts and any kind of chocolate cereal they make. He is used to everyone making him something from this list so that he does not have to eat what everyone else is eating. It is a miracle that he is not a very sick and enemic little boy. As it is, he is quite small and very "young" for his age.

We don't let him decide what he eats at our house anymore, so, when we have him, it is a constant issue to get him to finish what is on his plate...the good thing is, mom has finally started to do this "a little" so that helps.

I ate some green beans while I waited for him to eat the green beans and spaghetti I fixed for him. By the time he was finished (over an hour later), I was just not interested in eating.... He is a sweetie though. He loves pork rinds (the super crunchy chicharones that I get from Walmart). The whole time we were shopping, he kept "reminding me" that we need to go to Walmart for the "crunchies". It is the bacon thing...

[LovesDivine]

Getting frustrated. 159 again. I did have some pulled pork (about 4 oz) after I journaled last night and ate a handful of rinds with SS. The green beans (about 1/2 cup) were not enough. But was that late night "dinner" enough to cause a 2 lb rise from yesterday morning?

I am not in the mood for breakfast. Just having some coffee with hc and sf kahlua Davince syrup. Tastes good and is warm on this chilly morning. I really don't know what I will have for meals the rest of the day. I am really frustrated.

[LovesDivine]

Christmas tree is ugly. I am gaining weight. Ho ho ho.
Gotta figure out how to get over these holiday blues. Too many changes in my world I think. I am starting to implode.

I put a roast in my old slow cooker and had to throw it away. It was so freaking tough. Should have just waited til my new one was available (also cooking chicken leg quarters). Anyway, the roast and the old slow cooker is out with the trash.

I made faux taters and don't think I will do that again either. The texture is not a good one even after quite awhile in the food processor. Also,they had a nasty spicy after taste. I added salt and pepper but not so much to make it super spicy. Wierd. Everyone ate them but I could tell no one was too happy about it.

[RNW66]

You have a cute puppy and I hope you get to feeling better I know the holiday blue suck! I am not sure what diet your on but I am on atkins and loving it! Just wanted to stop in and say you can do this!

[LovesDivine]

Thanks for visiting my journal. I know I will get past these blues but right now it is hard. This year it is not a thing like what I am used to and look forward to. I am behaving badly and crying alot over lost traditions. Fiance does not understand, to him it is about the kids. I missed out on my memories of christmas tree's past. Sounds childish I know but I just can't help it. I tried so hard to explain it to him but he just didn't get it until after all was said and done and he saw how it affected me.

I am not getting on the scale for a couple weeks. Just can't take that let down right now. I won't quit though.

I don't have a menu today. Was not in the mood last night to plan ahead. Having a couple fried eggs from the cafe right now. Will probably have a salad for lunch.

[LovesDivine]

I almost quit. I went back to the cafe after posting this morning and got some tater tots and sausage gravy. I ate it. It was good. I have to post this. I am so embarrassed. But I have to own up. I am sooooooo frustrated. I went out at lunch time today to get gas, and was headed to Taco Bell. Turned the car around and headed back to work. I am eating a huge tossed salad right now and I WON'T QUIT.

Still gonna stay off the scale for a while.

Big sigh...can't believe I almost quit.

[RNW66]

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOo I am so proud of you and you will do this that was the biggest step for the change girl I am just so excited for you way to gooooooooo I am so glad you didnt quit and you will do this!!!!

[RNW66]

lol i just had to show you how excited I am for you!

[LovesDivine]

Thanks Tina. I am glad I didn't quit either. Just gotta stick with this and get over the hump of all the other stuff I have going on in my mind and in my life. I need to stop and count my blessings instead of grieving over all the changes and the stuff I am losing along the way (not losing any weight!! dangit!).

[RNW66]

You will just hang in there!

[LovesDivine]

Doing better today. Got back on the wagon right after my fall yesterday. I didn't get on the scale this morning so I don't know if it affected me. I am not super hungry today or having any cravings, so I don't think it messed me up too much.

I had about 3/4 of a cheese omelet and 5 little smokies for breakfast. Having bunless chili dogs right now for lunch.

We have his kids tonight to help out his ex but we had planned to go pick out wedding bands. I am not sure if we will do that or wait til tomorrow. We are going to get the license tomorrow during lunch. I can't believe that I will be married in 10 days. I am stressing. It is such a huge deal. I love him, he is the most amazing man, they don't make very many like him but for some reason I am still scared. Probably scared more of how I might ruin the relationship and lose him more so than him messing it up.

TTFN

[RNW66]

Girl you are doing awsome and you just have the premarriage jitters and you will be fine just think of it this way by your aniversary you will be at your goal and you can look back at your wedding day pics and feel so proud!

[LovesDivine]

On plan today. Boy did I feel horrible for most of the day. Splitting headache, back ache, tummy upset...took tylenol this morning and then again around 10am and by 2pm I was ready to go home, felt terrible. I decided to take some ibuprofin and within an hour I was feeling great. I have no idea what the deal was.

Almost have all my Christmas shopping done - this is a new thing! 12 days BEFORE Christmas! And about half of it is already wrapped. Woo hoo for me!

9 days til I am a married woman.

Breakfast: 2 egg omelet with american cheese and 1 sausage patty
Lunch: Craving a cheesburger and fries so I had the cafe cook me 2 burgers (tiny) and got to little pickle spears on the side for the "crunch". Had them with a tomato slice, some onion and mayo/mustard and I was very happy!!
Dinner: dunno...

Still staying the heck away from that bleeping scale!!

[LovesDivine]

Last night was stress free at last. Maybe I am getting over the blues and pre-wedding jitters?

Still staying away from the scale. I think I will weigh in on Monday for the challenge I am in here. I don't feel any smaller or bigger. I just don't want another disappointment. I got some hoodia last night at GNC. I took one last night and did not have the munchies that I usually have. So far today I have not had any real hunger either.

Watched the Biggest Loser last night - WOW!!! Eric looks amazing - they all do actually. But Eric, wow, he really committed and he rocks!! Under 200!

Menu:
Breakfast: 2 egg omelet w/american cheese and one sausage patty. Coffee with SF davinci hazelnut, hoods lc milk (I like that way better than heavy cream) and cinnamon. Yum!
Lunch: Beef and cabbage soup
Dinner: Chicken and steamed broccoli

TTFN

[LovesDivine]

Wow, I think Hoodia really works. I took 4 500mg yesterday and was not hungry hardly at all. When I did eat a meal, I was full, very full, before I had finished.

I made a pasta salad with Dreamfields and tuna last night - YUMMO! I am having a serving of it for lunch to day. Also having my 2 egg and american cheese omelet with Dannon Light and Fit low carb yogurt. I have only eaten half the omelet and a couple spoons of the yogurt and my tummy is FULL.

We got our marriage license this morning before work. I am starting to get excited! Enjoyed a very nice and relaxing (and FUN!) evening in bed last night with my fiance last night. We decided to head upstairs and watch TV (and other activities) instead of watching it in the living room. I really love that guy! I have never been intersted in cuddling and just talking like I am with him. Ahhhh....love....

[RNW66]

You are doing awsome girl I am so proud of you! What state do you live in?