Stellar's Journal

[Stellar]

Thought I would try doing a journal, not so much for accountability (not gonna post everything I eat, for instance) but to help me stay focused. I have had some problems and issues this year and I need to get myself back on track.

A little background...

I started Atkins last year (again) and I hope that it will be the last time. A very long time ago I did it and lost lots (Atkins was new then, I was a teenager and for some reason I did not weigh myself). I have lost 60 pounds so far and I have another...50-60 to go. Things have been going OK here lately, but it was a rough start to the year. I won't go into the details, but I had to quit a very toxic job back in May. My husband says that there was an almost immediate physical change in me. How I was able to stay on track diet-wise while I was there I have no idea, but the previous 10 years I had not had that kind of control. So this was a new thing and I was very public about it so I was not about to mess up in front of everybody.

Once I quit I was still able to stay on track but things have been slipping a bit lately. Now that the soft fruit season is over with, it is back to induction.

This semester in college I decided to do something different. I wanted to do things for myself; no goal in mind except to expand other parts of my mind. Last semester I completed my degree (Microcomputer Business Applications) so I wanted to do something a lot less analytical. So I am taking Drawing 1 and Two-Dimensional Design. That left an awful lot of time in the middle of the day, so I decided to take Pilates (because I didn't actually know what it was but had heard that it was very effective), Tai Chi becasue I had always wanted to, and Restorative Yoga (which I also didn't know exactly what that was but sounded nicely restful). That fills two days out of the week and was about all I wanted for now. On the other days I try to practice all of the above and also ride my bike.

That is where it tends to fall down. I am having trouble getting my lazy butt out of bed in the morning. If I wait too long to get up, I wake up too hungry and then I have to have breakfast. Then it's well into the day and I have no trouble at all coming up with all the excuses why I can't. I know it is dumb, but I am one of those morning exercisers for exactly that reason. If I am still asleep when I start, I can't think up excuses.

It's not as if it is cold here. So that isn't the problem. I need to ride my bike for an hour every day, in addition to anything else that I might do. I don't understand why I am suddenly having trouble with this. I want to be healthy, dang it.

So today is day one of the journal. Not gonna try to keep track of the day number, especially since I may be entering more than once in a day. So far I have done Pilates for an hour and Tai Chi as well. In Tai Chi class we went over to the fitness center here on campus to learn how to use the elliptical machines since those are good conditioning for Tai Chi. It's a pretty niced fitness center and cheaper than any other place I have looked at. So I think in the Spring I am going to join so that I can do aerobics even on the days that I have classes first thing in the morning. I need to look into getting it for the rest of this semester, too. (There is no Yoga class today; it is only on Tuesdays). Tomorrow I plan to ride my bike first thing in the morning. That would be about 6:00 Arizona time.

Let's see how I do being public about this...

[cleochatra]

Hi there! I love the clarity and the analyzing in your post of your actions, and wondering about them 'visually'. When you can do that, you can look at your post with an objective eye and come up with a game plan!

I know that, for me, exercising at night is easier. Of course, I walk on my treadmill and watch tv, so I spend time with hubby while I exercise! And it's the only time I watch tv.

So, if you make it a treat, it will be something you're excited to do!

Maybe buy a new CD you REALLY want and only listen to it while ytou bike. Or but a book-on-tape you've been dying to read/hear.

You're worth it, girlfriend!

[Stellar]

Thanks Cleo! I have loads of audiobooks all loaded into my player so I could ride for a good long time! The audio book club that belong to had all of the titles by my favorite author, so I have the complete collection. I do have to make sure the player is charged up in the morning though...

I just looked at the options for joining the Fitness Center for the rest of the year. Looks like it'll be around $40.00 or so. Pretty good for the better part of two months. Plus there are no initiation fees and all that garbage that other places load you down with. It may even be cheaper since I am already taking classes. So maybe I could join as early as next Monday (admin won't be open tomorrow). Then I can be good and tired by the end of Tuesday . It's nice too because it is on the bus route if I ever want to come down and do something more. (For those that don't know the Phoenix area, that last is a BIG DEAL.)

[Stellar]

And the first thing that happens is I have no access over the weekend...

<sigh>

Anyway, while I did not do as much as I wanted I still did more than I have the past couple of weekends. I did go riding, and we went to the zoo where we walked around (decided not to take the bikes this time because there was a new exhibit opening, the weather was incredible (mid 70's and sunny) so we figured there wouold be a crowd.)

Anyway, on Monday I plan to start the program in this new Yoga book I bought. I am waiting because the program is broken down by day and it will be less confusing if I follow it as written. Plus it may give me time to work out some tight hamstring issues I started having over the weekend. I noticed last week that in Pilates I am not straightening my legs when I should. When I tried to make them go straight, they would only go so far. Then they were tight that night. So there is some self massage in the next couple of days.

Today is my full day, though. After 2D design, I have Tai Chi which is very enjoyable even if I am not very good at it yet. That is why I am going after all; to become good. Then after I have lunch, I have the restorative yoga class. I think I should mention the hamstring issues. Maybe the instructor can suggest something.

Looking forward to Thanksgiving next week. Not because it will be dietarily convenient, but for the first time in years I feel that I get to actually enjoy it. I was in retail before and I positively dreaded the holidays. I am broke this year due to being unemployed, but I have plans to enjoy it this year. Maybe since I won't feel stressed I will find it easier to remain on plan.

Anyway, exercise. I have to figure out why I have this terrible lethargy lately so that I can overcome it. I know I feel better when I exercise regularly, though I never really reach the obsessive stage, but I seem to have this inertia that is keeping me on the couch. It just seems to take this enormous effort to get out of bed sometimes, and then an equally huge effort to get out the door. I suspect I am still recovering from when I had my job, but if I could get this more regular, I think it would go a long way toward helping me heal. That was the idea behind taking the exercise classes: to make me feel obligated to go.

I looked into joing the fitness center here at the college. I can get a 6 month pass for $147.00. That's somethinhg like $21.00 per month. I think I would have a hard time finding something better. They may not have loads of equipment, but they have enough for me to get started. And if I take classes next semester, I can get the whole semester for $50.00. Pretty cool. I just have to come up with the money.

Anyway, enough for now. Will add more late after I have had the other classes.


ETA: Man, but I get wordy sometimes...

[Stellar]

Observation: When the small muscles in the sole of the foot cramp up, it is nearly impossible to stand on one foot.

Other than that Tai Chi went pretty good and I was even able to stay late and go through the fgorm again. I usually can't becasue I am usually starving by then. We are cruising right along. I think we will have most of the form by the end of the semester. I do need to practice more onj my own though. Coming up with a place is hard. The yard is too uneven, and the living room is just too small. And I don't really want to do it in the driveway; too embarrassing. It may be my only choice, though.

Really looking forward to restorative yoga this afternoon. Very restful.

[Stellar]

When the yoga teacher asked if anyone had anything special they would like to work on I mentioned the foot cramps. We spent about 20 minutes doing assorted stretches in the foot. I think they feel better. We will see tomorrow when I try doing the stance again.

After that we did more of the usual stuff, ending with the feet up the wall, which always feels so good, but leaves me a little woozy for drawing in the evening.

We will see how it goes tomorrow...

[Stellar]

We were walking around last night on the way to supper (salad at Rubios) and I realized that my knee was not hurting. Gilead (husband) asked when I commented on it, when I last recall it hurting. I think it was the day before, but I have lived with knee pain for so long that it has become a sort of background noise. When it goes away it takes awhile to realize that something is different. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going out jogging any time soon, but it was interesting. I tried moving it various directions; there was a tightness in some directions, but nothing like the pain I usually have.

One thing that I can credit, I think, is this book I bought on trigger point therapy. I wasn't expecting any help for the knee, but I have been massaging my own thighs and calves trying to loosen things up. I was certain that the knee pain was in the joint, not due to tightened muscles and tendons. Time will tell of course. Could just be a coincidence. But it still feels good today, and I was able to straighten my legs better in Pilates this morning. We will see how things go in Tai Chi. Hopefully no foot cramps today.

[Stellar]

Things are going well today. Got through Tai Chi without my knee starting up. I think there may be some healing going on there, which is the best news in a long time. After my shoulder, which is also better. Hard to say whether it was the massage, or the classes I am taking or both, but I can move a lot better than I could before. There is still some pain in the shoulders, but it is nothing like it was before. I think there may be something to the trigger point theory. I made sure to massage my legs before class. Also, in Pilates I was finally able to do Roll Over. I had to put my butt on a couple of folded blakets to start, but I got there. Since my caboose was by far my most prominent feature, gravity really works against me. So I borrowed an idea from the yoga class and supported the posture. Even though it supposed to be a movement and not a pose the way they are in yoga, at least I was able to something like it so I can work on strengthening my abs so that maybe I can do it sometime.

Got a long afternoon ahead, so I may be back in if more occurs to me.

[Stellar]

The Pilates teacher tried to kill us this morning. I guess it's what we get for telling her it was OK to give us a hard workout before Thanksgiving. Eeek. We were doing side kick and doing more than we usually do with the leg up in the air and the muscle on the inside of the groin just tightened up on me. It does that sometimes, and it can bend me double when it happens as I am standing up. So I am trying to loosen it up. I am hoping that yoga will help today. Tai chi sure didn't and we were holding the poses for long times. Legs have had it.

Hopefully I will be able to get in the yoga classroom early today so that I can maybe try some massage and get that muscle to unclench. If not straddling the horse in drawing is going to hurt.

Anyway, I started my at home yoga program yesterday. I thought it went pretty well. I like the book that I am using since it has a ten-week starting program and then after that you make up your own or possibly go find an instructor to maybe take you further.

Oh, I have discovered that if I use a couple of folded blankets under my rump when we do roll over in Pilates, I can do it. Cool!

[Stellar]

Well I had a terrific holiday weekend and I even made time to exercise. My inlaws were very impressed that I was doing that. I had to carry along my mat and all the props and blankets, but I considered it a good addition to the luggage. For once I didn't end up taking along a bunch of stuff that I didn't use. I was happy about that.

I went a little bit off plan as far as eating on Thanksgiving itself, but for the most part I stayed on. It was my intention to be a bit looser this year than I was last, but now I am right back on and looking forward to clean eating. The hard part is getting DH to realize that there is shopping involved sometimes so that I always have something onhand. Although, truthfully, we don't keep much in the way of junky snacks around either, so when I get munchie, I almost have to go somewhere else.

We also went walking a few times while we were in Prescott, and as a result my hip is sore. Don't quite get that, but probably I was walking unevenly or maybe I twisted when I stepped off a curb or something. Anyway, it makes it hard to sleep at night, so I am a little tired and really looking forward to the restorative yoga this afternoon.

That's it for now. Like I said I a bit tired and I have a long day ahead still.