Portia's Journal

[Portia]

Not a very interesting title, but I'm trying to keep this low-key.

I just want to have a place to record my food intake, goals and thoughts as I begin this process.

Unlike a lot of people on this board who are 200+, I have not had a weight problem for most of my life. I gained weight over the course of two very risky and difficult pregnancies. During the first pregnancy, I began to eat compulsively, using food to control my anxiety.

Since having my second child nearly 10 months ago, I have used every excuse to not do something about my weight. The truth of the matter is, food has become a drug to me, and, like any addict, I don't want to give it up. Anesthetizing myself with carbs is quite effective at curbing my short-term stress, despite the fact that it is literally killing me.

This week, I dealt with a breast cancer "scare" that required several biopsies. I promised myself that if I was lucky enough to have a good result (and I was - all benign), I would use it as a springboard to begin to finally take care of myself.

Because that's how I am viewing Atkins. It's what I need to do to take care of myself and cure myself of my carb addiciton.

For inspiration, I have been using this board, and a couple of Jonny Bowden's books.

I plan to follow Atkins induction, but since I get into heavy ketosis very quickly and dramatically, I plan to have an additional cup or so of salad veggies per day, since they have almost no net carbs. Still staying at 20 carbs or less, however.

Today's menu:

Breakfast: 3 egg omlette with slice cheese and veggies (net: 5)B:

Lunch: grilled chicken kebob over salad with 1 oz feta, italian dressing, 2 olives, 2 very small pieces of onion (net carbs: I'll be conservative and say 5, but it was probably even less.)

Snack: not sure yet, but might just have tea/coffee with cream. I have sliced turkey on hand if I "need" it.

Dinner: Either grilled steak or chicken (am making both) with 1 cup broccoli (3 net carbs)

Snack: whey protein shake if hungry or feel dizzy (another 5 carbs).

This should put me at around 15-20 net carbs for the day.

[Cathlena]

Just popping in to say hello! You sure do have your hands full! I have one child, boy 2.5, and that is enough for me to find it hard to "get on the wagon."

I guess we have to take it one day at a time!!

Good Luck

[German1980]

hey good luck, youre gonna make it!!! i'm sure

[Portia]

Hi, Cathlena. Nice to meet you!

Yes, I do have a lot on my plate, but because I work outside the home 2 days/week, I have been able to find a wonderful sitter/mother's helper, and that really takes the edge off, you know what I mean?

Today I am on my own with the kids and am just dropping by during the baby's nap. I want to go make a salad for lunch, so I will update here tonight.

So far:

B: 2 eggs, 2 slices ham. Black tea with tsp cream

S: turkey pepperoni - about 12 slices. Decaf coffee with cream

L: steamed broccoli with chicken and cheese, all melted together with hot sauce. Can't wait to try this one.

D: No idea yet! Maybe taco salad, since I have what I need on-hand, more or less....Will make shells for DH.

I'm trying to focus on my short terms goals, in my siggy, and not focus on the long-term just yet.

I'm also focusing on looking thinner, healthier and well-rested when I see my evil SILS at the holiday gatherings. They are such self-centered, unsupportive women who pamper themselves while I run around doing more than my share of the work.

Not this year! I have already said "no" to several ridiculous requests and am putting my own needs and the needs of my family first. I'm really proud about the saying "no." It caused some tension with my brother, but when I explained myself to him, he understood and it all worked out. We're seeing them this weekend, in fact. When it's convenient for *me*, for a change.

Baby steps. I need to keep putting myself on the to-do list. Make sure I have my food and that my day - whether I am at home or attending a deposition - is well-planned.

Monday is an all-day deposition in Manhattan, so I will need to pack lots of great snacks. I will bring an emergency low-carb bar as well, just in case there are no good options for lunch (I'm sure there will be, but it makes me feel better to have the bar with me anyway). And water, water, water!

Maybe I can cook some stew or a roast over the weekend to have on hand...

[Portia]

To make on Sunday, but I might double the recipe....

2 large boneless chicken breast
1 cup goya chipotle marinade
2 tablespoons cilantro
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon cumin
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
¼ cup chopped onion
6 slices bacon-cooked and crumbled
1 TBS Texas Pete Hot Sauce
1 Tsp Liquid Smoke
A few handfuls of frozen green beans
4 oz sour cream
8 oz sharp cheddar


Place chicken breast and marinade in a crock pot (I used an individual one). Cook on high until chicken is tender and shreds easily. Shred the chicken- I just pulled it apart with a couple of forks. Add remaining ingredients except the sour cream and cheddar and cook on high (only temp my individual has!) for about 4 hours. Stir in the sour cream and cheddar-Let cook for about another 45 minutes

[Portia]

It's been a while since I updated - I had the flu! But I am happy to report that I finally made it through the beginning of induction. It hasn't been easy these first 2 days, but I made sure I had plenty of legal food on hand.

I think the key for me was doing this over a weekend, when I couldn't get too side-tracked with work emergencies or with being exhausted from taking care of the family.

I confess that I had some low sodium bologna yesterday and today as a snack, which, I have to admit, is a pretty disgusting excuse for food. But the rest of my meals have been great. Lean meat, salad, veggies, some cheese, lots of water and decaf coffee.

I think the extra veggies that I have incorporated have kept me from getting into induction too fast: yesterday I had 3 cups of salad and one cup of other veg, and I plan to do the same today. I am still well under 20 net carbs.

I hope I see some movement in the scales - that would be quite motivating and help me deal with sushi withdrawal.

[Portia]

It's been awhile since I posted.

I tried WW this week. I couldn't handle the fake taste of the FF flavored yogurt, or the frozen foods. I had cravings constantly.

I'm really at my wit's end.

I know LC is the answer: why can't I begin? A have a great few days, and then the food starts tasting awful and I can't bear the thought of another bite of chicken or beef. I miss the "convenience" of high-carb foods. Of course, the convenience foods come complete with high fructose corn syrup and other garbage. Which I know is horrible for my health.

Which brings me back to LC. I know it's the answer. I am just so frustrated with myself.

[Portia]

I'm doing much better these days. I decided to stick with low-carb. I haven't been down to induction levels yet, but the past week I have reduced my carb intake dramatically. My clothing is looser and I feel quite good. I still have a tendency to nibble on carby foods when they are around. Not junk - but things I feed the family, such as sweet potatoes or Challah (traditional Jewish bread eaten on Friday night). But I am so much better than I was and the bingeing seems to be stopping on its own.

My goal is to make December my cleanest eating month yet. To prepare/plan each day's food the night before (this is essential) and to journal whenever possible.

Today:

B: tuna salad, tea with tsp. cream

L: 4 ounces pork loin. Sauteed bocolli rabe with garlic

Snacks: piece of sweet potato

D: grilled lemon chicken breast with salad.

Water, water, water!

[Portia]

Still improving around here. It has been a while since I have binged or wanted to binge. I am still eating too many carbs, so I am not losing much weight, but I am getting into a much better frame of mind.

Everyone is healthy, too, which helps - no biopsies or surgeries etc.

Today I have had a great day in terms of food, and I really have planned a good week eating wise.

My goal is to have a week of clean induction this week, and to be at least a little healthier by Jan. 1.

B: 2 eggs

S: 1 oz cheese

L: 2 cups salad with ham and chicken slices

S: none yet - will have protein shortly

D: lean steak and broccoli

S: decaf with cream

[Portia]

I'm pretty down today. I can't seem to break the addictive cycle with food.

Why am I sabotaging myselg?

[Portia]

A good day today. I'm not going to say more than that, in case I can't stay with it. But a good, clean day.

B: low carb shake

L: chicken breast, ham, celery sticks and dressing

D: lamb chops, asparagus

S: decaf with cream. Turkey pepperoni.

[amandajean]

Hi Portia,

I just wanted to say hello and tell you not to get discouraged or beat yourself up for having one off day... we're only human! I hope you are having a good weekend.

[Portia]

Thanks, Amanda. You're right.

[RNW66]

Hey girl I been there and I finally am fixed and focused! You can DO this just get stuff to make the foods more tasty I use a lot of the mrs dash flavoring I dont crave carbs anymore after the 3rd day on induction i stopped craving! You can do this I have lost 6 pounds already and only been on it sense last thursday! I will try to help you stay focused if you want and I know you can do this! if you feel you absolutely need sweets try sugar free jello! There are a lot of awsoem recipies for induction as well with splenda that help with the sweet cravings!

[Portia]

Thanks, RNW. I would love to check in with one another - I could use a buddy.

I just spent a week on the WW Core plan and it wasn't a good fit for me. I was constantly hungry and I had difficulty "eating to satisfaction" of fruit and dairy.

So, I bought Jonny Bowden's book reviewing low carb plans, because I think the world of Dr. Bowden, and I decided to look into the Protein Power plan.

I just whizzed through it and it sounds like it might be the right fit for me. 30 grams net carbs in the beginning, and they can come from veggies, yogurt or even a very small amount of fruit or bread. Carbs to be divided amongst the 3 meals and snacks.

The idea of low carb with *lots* of veggies plus some full-fat yogurty sounds totally do-able. Cottage cheese is also ok, which would help me with the "too much meat" feeling I get when I try to do Atkins induction.

I really want to try this!

[RNW66]

Sounds good girl that is the way you have to pick a (diet) way of life for you because it is a lifetime thing not a quick fix I know you can do this!

[Portia]

Thanks!

And how are you doing?

I am doing well here. I like the choices offered on Protein Power. I am using fitday to track everything. Basically, it doesn't differ much from Atkins Induction - just more veggies and soft cheeses (low fat cottage cheese etc.). 30 net per day.

Actually, I am finding it very easy. Almost too easy. I hope I do lose some weight!

[Portia]

Well, here I am: my fourth spring of being overweight. Yes, there were 2 pregnancies in there as well, but still, I'm very down on myself at present.

To make matters worse, I am having one medical crisis after another. Five surgeries in the past year! And now I have terrible heel pain that makes it difficult to even walk.

I'm only 36 - I should not have this type of drama in my life. My parents are in their 60s and are in much better shape than I am.

I realize it's not particularly healthy to beat myself up, but if I can't let it all out here, where can I?

Just to add insult to injury, today my life insurance broker called me to let me know that my rate will be higher due to being overweight.

All of these negatives aside, I know that all it takes is one good day to turn things around and embark on a new lifestyle. If I could just focus on having a good day, food wise, each day, I know I could succeed.

On the bright side, I have eaten well today and tracked in Fitday. That's all I can do for now.

[Portia]

Well, my third week on Atkins has been rather dull. I am still hovering at 218 with no further losses, but from what I have read, many people stall for their third weeks following a large loss the first two.

My clothing is looser and I am no longer bingeing on junk, so I am very happy with my progress.

I hope the scale starts moving again soon. I'd also like to start tracking my food and planning some new meals, but this week and next week have been very hectic, so I will have to tread water for a bit.

I'm keeping it real simple: eat clean, carbs from veggies, easy on the cream and cheese. That's all I can do for now.

[Portia]

Well, I am still at 218. It's difficult not being able to exercise, due to my foot injury. However, there is no reason that I could not be doing pilates and stationery bike, except that the 4 hours of PT/week pretty much uses up all of my previously allotted exercise time.

It's really getting me down.

I'm eating pretty clean, but I could stand to cut down on the diet soda. That could be stalling me as well, I think.

Well, nothing to do but stick with it. I'll never go back to low fat high carb. At least I am not bingeing on ice cream regularly.

[Portia]

Not much movement - 213 last week, but have bounced up to 216 this week.

I am going to try to do some Nordic track tomorrow. My foot is a bit better, so perhaps it'll be ok. I've been trying to stay off the foot, on the doctor's orders, but I just can't stay off it forever!

I'm happy to be at 213-ish, and I definitely look better, but I have been eating pretty clean, and I would have expeted to see more weight loss.

I did best the week that I used fitday, so back to that for a bit, I think.

[Portia]

Boy, am I frustrated. I'll drop two or three pounds in a few days, then bouce back a few, then down more etc. etc.

I saw 213 for one day, now I am 215. Grrr. Very, very frustrating.

I'm doing fitday today, I think that helps. Also, will try 20 minutes of the nordictrack - that seems to encourage loss as well.

All I can do is eat clean, watch my calories and hope for the best.

I really want to see 199 for the Jewish holidays in September, but that's not looking likely anymore. For a week or two, I thought it might be happening, but this bounce-back has thrown me off a bit.

[Portia]

I haven't posted here in awhile. That's how it is when I'm struggling. The good news is, I'm maintaining, even through selling a house and dealing with my shoulder injuryl.

However, I really believe in this WOE, so when I eat carbs and junk, it's almost like I am betraying myself and my beliefs.

I need to check in more on the board and use Fitday. I say this over and over again. Because it's true.

[Portia]

I'm finally out of the woods! We are in contract on the old house and getting ready to move into the new one.

Of course, life is still busy, but I believe that I can now focus more on myself and getting back to working out and taking better care of myself.

This means I need a plan. I love plans.

Here is my short-term wellness plan (keeping it simple for now as to not get overwhelmed):

1. Prepare for the day the night before. Don't just wake up and wonder what to eat/do. Make a schedule for working out and a food plan. This will take about 2 minutes!

2. Start a walking program. See Dr. re: injured shoulder.

3. Shop and Cook for week on weekend: make roasts, cut veggies etc.

4. Keep papers and house organized - I find this helps keep me calm and focused.

5. Get at least 7 hours of quality sleep

6. Take supplements

7. Use fitday