Gingersnap_girl "Making me accountable" journal

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Well, I journal for each of my kids to record the ups and downs, smiles and frowns, good and bad times so why not for me on this journey?!

I am now 34 yrs young, with a loving hardworking husband, three beautiful kids, and two new kitty babies (Bella & Fiona). I have a full time "9-5" job as a paralegal which I love and have been at 5 years. I have a lovely home, family nearby, and a close net of friends (online and off). My weight is 170 as of today, I am a little discouraged that I have abandoned my good eating for convenience due to stressful situations which have plagued me lately. I have made excuses, failed to plan and/or prepare meals, and keep those temptations away from me. I am committed to dropping the 30 lbs more. I am kicking my once a day Starbucks habit as of last thursday. I am a little on edge but surviving. One step at a time. Food today hasn't been great.
B - 1 SO pizza pocket
L - Quiznos roadhouse ranch salad (w/o bacon) only used 1/4 of the dressing with the dunk fork first method BUT chocolate milk and a cookie! I have had 30 oz. of water only today. Feeling kinda bloated.
D - the plan is steak salad (just lettuce, tomato, and steak FF dressing)

Hopefully keeping a place to let the stress out rather than eating it in will help get those unwanted pounds off. Here's hoping!

[indogia]

to weight loss journals,I am so happy that you are here,I cant wait to watch your journey,I wish you the very best

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Thanks Indogia! Well going on day five without caffine...feeling ok. Down .5 even with my choc milk and cookie yesterday. Dinner turned out to be 10 chips and queso and leftover steak with two bites of loaded mashed potatoes. DD ate the rest. I also didn't eat until around 7 which is kinda late and because of the time, I wolfed it down. Ya know it took two minutes to heat it in the micro and I could have cut up the lettuce and tomato but why didn't I - part of me saw the already messed up kitchen and used more dishes as an excuse not to dirty up more. I am definitely a slave to convenience. Maybe prepping all my veggies would help,then I could grab a handful of whatever. I know what to do, but why is it I can't seem to do it when I get home. I find every excuse not to. I have been reading other people's journals (Mel's ) and wish I had her determination and willpower. Today's goal is another .5 gone. Weigh in is tomorrow and I don't want to be at the same weight. I need to get these habits back into play - NOW. Making LC soup tonight for my lunches and dinners. Making burritos for everyone else. No breakfast yet as I forgot to grab my eggs, will wait until lunch and grab another roadhouse salad. without the choc milk and cookie this time!!

[ScarletBlonde]

Hey kiddo. It seems like it's been rough for you lately.

Um, I don't remember what plan your on.

Maybe we need to sit down and plan a menu. I'm thinking the only way to do this is to take some time to prepare everything. And always store some stuff in your car and at your desk. You know just in case for those sticky situations.

You can do this!! I know you can!! I'm here for ya sweetie!!

I'll be back later.

[Mel78]

Originally Posted by a_gingersnap_girl

I have been reading other people's journals (Mel's ) and wish I had her determination and willpower.

Hey Tracy!!! I'm so glad you started a journal!!! I would be lost with out mine and I think you'll find as you go along that YOU will actually be posting the answers to your frustrations and stalls...(Lisa is forever re-posting MY posts for me to see that I already KNOW what to do... it's just a lot easier to GIVE advice than it is to take your own and run with it!!!)

You know planning ahead to make things more convenient are going to be KEY for you!!! ALSO, I think since you do so much on the run, that searching online for some of the places you like to go to eat and reading up on their nutritional guides so when you're out, you KNOW what you can have and you feel that you DO have options!!! That has helped me A LOT in making this a way of life and not a restrictive diet... Now, I know I can go ANYWHERE and eat on plan...

...just a thought... Hope you don't mind me stopping by and posting along the way... You CAN AND WILL do this!!! I know it!!!

[KarbieGrl]

Hey Girl!! It might be hard to post every day, but even if you post a line or two about your menu or something, it help create the habit and brings you back.
Looking forward to a fun journey!!

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Scarlet - thanks! I think your right. I think I have been trying to put everyones needs above mine again and forgotten that when I do things for me, to make me feel/look better, everyone in the house benefits! DH will be home tonight so I think I will prep all my salad veggies, put my carrots in snack bags, and portion out my yogurt in 1/2 c containers tonight. That is a start. We just shopped on the fly, walking down the asile grabbing this and that. Making the soup should help some too. You guys are doing so great and I need to get back on the side of feeling better. Dr. thinks I have situational depression maybe she is right...maybe I should just take the meds to take the edge off. Too much hit this summer at one time. Since DSS's diagnosis of diabetes, DH's job, DS starting kindergarten, best friend moving, and DD's babysitter I don't think my poor brain could take anymore. I went back to what made me feel good - FOOD! The thing is, it is only a temporary good feeling. I usually am so tired and sluggish after eating that stuff. Well enough for now, gotta get some water in this glass - it is already 8:15 am

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Thanks Mel and Ana! You two are a great inspiration to me!

[Sadler_Girl]

HI Tracy,
Great to see you here , it really dose help work out all the mental kinks.
Mel is right you will see all kinds of stuff you ae doing and the little lightbulb comes on and you find answers , some you may not have been looking for .

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Someone says go to lunch and I cave in again. I was in line yacking away, not paying attention to what I was ordering, ordered a burrito bowl (which would be fine without the rice and beans) but nope - there they were and it isn't like I could take them out. So I ate it, the entire thing!! I know I blew WI again for tomorrow. What the $@%# is wrong with me lately???? I have no willpower at all. For pity sake, I am back to my pregnant mentality - eat, eat, eat....
We are taking a coworker to lunch tomorrow for her BD - I really have to watch it. I am really wanting to bail now.

On the only good note today...I found the baseball hat my DH has been wanting for over a year and ordered it for his BD next month. He will be so excited. He deserves it. Going to get him a round of golf from the kids too.

I feel my jeans getting tighter and am doing nothing about it. I am in control of my eating, I control whether or not I lose weight right? I think my heart isn't in it anymore. I have a friend who is a total health nut. Eats the same thing for lunch every day - tofu, rice, almonds - that's it. works out every day and is misrable (sp?). She looks great for 50 yrs old but hates her life. I was "competing" with my BGF because we are neck-n-neck in weight and it was fun comparing diets but now we both have let stress get to us. UGH! Enough whining...be back tomorrow!

[a_gingersnap_girl]

HERE IS THE SECRET… Focus on what you want to gain not what you want to lose!

What are you really trying to gain?

Better health
Soaring self-esteem
Super charged vitality
A high state of fitness
Drop-dead gorgeous looks
Total confidence in yourself

Just read this and wanted it in here for me to see - if I see it enough maybe it will sink in. Weirder things have happened!

[Sadler_Girl]

You will get there. Planning is key. Just becareful at lunch tomorow and you will be fine.

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Well today was weigh in and I was down .5 - I guess that is something after everything evil I ate this week. I did break down and have coffee this morning. Decided that whereever we go for lunch today...salad only. I made LC soup last night as DH commented "wonder what this concoction will be" - ARRRG! I could just smack him sometimes for not realizing that he is being a jerk. He wanted ice cream last night and got mad because I didn't. I stayed strong about it. Said I would rather spend time with him, which of course he took as you know what, and I got the look again for going to sleep at midnight after the movie. He got up because he was "hungry" (the word begins with 'H' but isn't hungry and never came back to bed, slept on the couch. So the puddy cats and I had the bed all to ourselves. I felt bad this morning so I am going to try and get myself in the mood after I get the house picked up tonight and the kids in bed so when he comes home, I can show him he still lights a fire in me.

Back to task...breakfast yesterday was instant maple & BS oatmeal, then my huge lunch, then dinner was taco soup but I put a cup of corn in and a can of black beans in to make it heartier. It was great! Very filling so 1 c. was enough. Water water water today. Starting now...thanks to all you gals checking in on me. It means alot that you send and and !!!

[KarbieGrl]

Hey Girl - a loss is a loss - no matter how small it is better than a gain. We you and are so happy that you are part of our challenge group. Looking forward to many days of fun in the gutter!!

[Sadler_Girl]

.5 is great if you only lost that and nothing else that is 26 pounds a year!
Not so bad. Sorry about DH Congrats on staying on plan.

[a_gingersnap_girl]

So I made it through lunch - had Le Pepp's steak salad and plucked off the croutons. Steak, bluecheese, lettuce, a few thin onion slices, walnuts, and bacon with ranch dressing and of course water. Did well again no Dr P for me today.

Dinner will be more taco soup - ribs, green beans and mac-n-cheese for the others. Got a queazy(sp?) feeling in my tummy - of course TOM reared his ugly head today. UGH! that this one is shorter than last time.

Headed home to play with the kids and kitties.

[Sadler_Girl]

I am so glad you did so great with lunch! I know you can keep it up!

[indogia]

dont forget to pamper yourself whilst TOM is here(((hugs)))

[KarbieGrl]

Good morning! Hope you have a super day! It's almost Friday!

[Sadler_Girl]

Today WILL be a great day!

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Holy cow I was late this morning! Gosh darn freakin snow storm! 6" already and it is still going. Slushy and slimy so the van was all over the road. DD let me know right away she didn't like being bundled in her heavy coat this morning. DS took 30 minutes to get dressed because he wanted to argue that his shirt was too big! DH got home really late (1:30 am) because of the snow, we stayed up talking about the troubles with his job (I let him vent basically) then cuddled for awhile with the two fur babies before dozing off. They are so sweet. I am so glad we got them. I need to fatten them up though - their little backsides are real bony. Wish I could share some of the junk in my trunk! Anyway...

Dinner was soup again! I was down a pound (168)
Breakfast this morning was coffee again (TNL) and reduced fat lemon pound cake. Steak Salad and Taco soup for dinner and lunch again and maybe force myself back on the gazelle machine tonight after everyone goes to bed for 20-30 minutes.

Back to the grind.

[Sadler_Girl]

Sorry you had a rough morning and late night.
Down a pound That is great!!

[a_gingersnap_girl]

Holding steady today which is fine with me.

D - chicken thigh (baked) and garden salad

B - coffee & cherry almond muffin
L- Roadhouse ranch salad
D - Taco soup

Tonight is trunk or treat so I will have 45 minutes to feed the kids and get them dressed in their costumes. I can't wait to see my little ones in their costumes. This is DD's first Halloween.

[KarbieGrl]

Aww...isn't Halloween fun when the kids are little? I miss those days!
They are having a Trunk or Treat at our church this weekend. Such a cool idea!
Hope you have a good weekend.

[Sadler_Girl]

what is trunk or treat?????

[Sadler_Girl]

[ScarletBlonde]

Wondering where you are!! Hope all is well!!