Brend'a Beginning

[heywoodwalker]

Here I go again, actually tomorrow I will start and weigh in. I will also journal my food here and commit to myself that I will make it. I am so grateful to see all of the posts, journals, and encouragement from and to everyone here at the lowcarb friends site. Please send great waves of positive power for me to keep on. I'll begin to disclose more about myself as time passes and my additude begins to require me to journal my thoughts and feelings rather than stuffing them down with food. Thanks everyone again for being here.

[heywoodwalker]

great way to start...... my thread name is wrong...Hahahahahaha
it was supposed to be Brenda's, not Brend'a.

[DwindleMeLC]

I too am new to journaling and I hope that it proves beneficial to us both! Good luck with the new Start. What is your goal for the week, if you have one?

[heywoodwalker]

My goal is to stay on Induction.... with no slips. I also want to journal daily on here and in my private journal. I am so frustrated with myself and my lack of taking care of me. I know I'm the only one responsible for picking myself off the pity party and moving forward. So I will go and do it. I will also weigh-in, check Ketosis, and log it in.

[heywoodwalker]

I weighed in at 229 today. I plan to enter my weight and my Ketosis in my signature. Along with my food.
B= Cheese omlete, 2pc bacon
S= Bacon as needed at work
L= Iceburg lettuce salad, turkey, ham and swiss cheese, Ranch Dressing
S= HM Meatloaf pieces

[heywoodwalker]

2lbs gone! Last night I went off the wagon and ate some cookies. My Keto stick was at trace before I ate them, and I still chose to give in. My wife and I had a verbal scuffle and I stood up for myself and challenged her about her passive-aggressive remarks and her stating that it was my fault SHE didn't do something.
I know the next few days are going to be an emotional roller coaster. I want and need to stick up for my opinions, feelings and thoughts..... give them a voice, or else I turn to eating food.... stuffing down my emotions, thoughts and feelings. Boy, I imagine I can be one tough cookie when I get my mouth open.
Thank you board for being here!

Dinner last night was celery and braunsw. Then about 10 2" sandwich cookies, vanilla ones... no milk with it.

BTW, I did pass on the pkg of 10 mini Mounds Chocolate bars. So I am proud of that!!!!!!

[heywoodwalker]

B= 2eggs w/1tsp half&half, 1/3 c shredded jack cheese
L= meatloaf w/ cheddar, 2c iceburg w/ blu cheese dressing
D= Leg of Lamb, 1/2c Cooked Spinach

That is my food planned for today.

[heywoodwalker]

Last night I binged again with those damn vanilla cookies. You think I would have thrown them out huh? I am going to right now..... done. I also had Bar-B-Que Lays. I didn't eat/cook the lamb either. I am going to cook it this morning, and then move forward. My weight stayed the same at 227. I did exercise the past 2 nights, 1st night 15 min, last night 25 min. I noticed that I didn't start to sweat until after 20 mins though. Perhaps it is true that you don't start to "work-out" until after 20 min.
Here is to another day...

[heywoodwalker]

Some things are very hard to change. I seem to go from one addiction to the next. Yesterday, I spent money on a credit card and then eat and drink badly. The food stayed in my stomach too long, and of course I'm up in weight with no ketosis. I thought the weekend would be better, easier than the weekdays with my eating lowcarb. Not so true. I really need to focus on putting lowcarb as my priority, above all else. So be it.

My son Steven called yesterday and I was distracted by my cravings I feel bad for doing that. He probably called because he felt alone and lonely. I do not want to do that again. I am going to write to him and apologize today. Anyhow here is my food for yesterday:
B= Lamb
S= Peppermint Tea
L= Chili's Awesome Blossom, Breaded Buffalo Wings both with the dressing's, and a glass of Merlot
S= Nestle's Crunch Trick or Treat size Bars, 10
Not very low carb.
Today I believe I will do the Meat and eggs. I hope it will kick me in the right way so I can get going correctly on the lowcarb.

[heywoodwalker]

Booo Hoooo Waaaaaa!
I ate my usual pigfest and watched TV most of the day. Not good. So today I will do a Meat/Egg food plan to help get the carbs out of my system. Here is my food plan for today:
B= 2 eggs fried w/evoo, 1 pc Bacon
S= 2 pc Bacon
L= 1-1/2 cans of tuna w/mayo
S= 1 chix leg qrtr, baked/reheated
D= Salmon fried/sauteed in evoo/butter

I will not give up this time. Even if I keep falling off the program, I will journal and write the food.
Also, I want to be down some of this weight before I meet Leah's best friend. This friend of hers has been in her life since she was a teenager. I want to feel great about myself and have my body also reflecting it. So, I have 40 days to get this going.
Perhaps I should start my count down as of today. 40 days = ? I am motivated!

[heywoodwalker]

I'VE GOT A BAD HEADACHE! IT HURTS, AND NO MOTRIN NOR TYLENOL IS WORKING FOR IT. WITHDRAWLS BIG TIME!!! But I am glad that I've stuck to my food plan! I have eaten my tuna w/mayo and bacon and my breakfast. I am not hungry for dinner yet, it's 4:27pm and I will leave my chix at work for tomorrow's meal(s).

[heywoodwalker]

Hurray! I made it through the day and night yesterday.
Down 3 lbs, water of course, and I'm showing a trace of Ketosis.
For food I had
B= 2eggs, bacon
S= bacon
L=1-1/2 can o tuna w/mayo
D= eggs, bacon

Lots of water and 27 mins of Gazelle workout.

[heywoodwalker]

I am in Ketosis! Hurray Last night I binged on Nestle Crunch's and felt sad for doing it. My Ketosis was very strong when I got home from work. This morning it was in the moderate level. I am so glad it is still going.
Leah and I went to a "coming out" meeting and enjoyed ourselves. She was quite vocal regarding an anger point in the group, and then she got quite during the last 20 mins. I enjoyed the atmosphere with all the ladies there.
I binged on the candy earlier when I was trying to get through to the cable people. It took about an hour, and I was being nipped at when I got home from Leah. I ate some brauns. before the candy.... but the candy still won. I could have layed down and napped instead.
Boy, I am so glad I am on this journey of discovery.

[SunaBee]

Heywood, hold strong Girl... Keep persisting.

I had a whole year of restarts before something finally "clicked".

Then I remember being so incredibly mad with myself, not being able to eat clean for hardly a day, letalone two.

I decided to use that anger to fuel my success. I decided that I was worth it, and no matter what excuses I had, the situation around me, or my mood. I would allow myself to get mad, though I was going to white knuckle it until I felt strong enough to stand on my own.

It was the hardest thing I've ever done diet wise, though nothing has been more worth it.

I just wanted to share my experience with you, to give you hope and let you know your not alone.

Wishing you gReAt success on your journey to a happier, healthier you.

[heywoodwalker]

Today is a new day! Thank you SunaBee for your share. It always helps to read/see another's success. Last night Leah and I went to Pick Up Stix, an Asian place because she had been in the mood for S/S Shrimp and fried rice. I ordered Lettuce wraps. I knew I could be in a trap for myself, but I still went. I had about a teaspoon of soy sauce, and of course mixed in hosin sauce with the meat. The scale is now reading a pound more, but I am still in Ketosis.
Next thing, Leah packed me my lunch today because I've had to go into work an hour earlier than usual. She packed me her left-over S/S Shrimp, and fried rice! Now what? I am torn with feeling sad that I am chosing to not eat what she packed for me. She does know that I am working on getting healthier and doing Atkins. She wants to take care of me, but I don't need to be cared for like that. I have to step out and communicate my needs, and it may hurt her feelings. I hate hurting other peoples feelings. Well, I have to get over that huh?
Today I am going to eat meat/eggs/cheese/pork rinds and drink lots of water!

[heywoodwalker]

This morning I was down a pound again but I am starting to resent that the weight is moving slower. After this day, fifth day of the 40 weighed in, I am going to weigh every 5 days. This way I may not be as resentful. But then again knowing myself, I think I may still be resentful. Perhaps I should wait even longer. I don't know..... weekly, monthly, after the 40 days? AAARRRGGGGHHH. I am in Ketosis, and I have Induction Flu. Sleepy, fuzzy-thinking, kinda like a cold but without the sniffles and sore throat.

Hugs to everyone!

[moonchild]

HI! I just wanted to stop by and tell you I am so sorry you are having such a rough time at this right now. This is the first time I have tried lc and felt totally satisfied with this woe. What am I doing different this time? VARIETY!

When I did lc before, I limited myself so much. Not on quantity, but on quality. But guess what? I didn't get this fat by not enjoying food. I LOVE FOOD! I love flavor. So, this time around, I am trying out so many new things by finding recipes in the Recipe Room here and by making my own (I have quite a few in my journal). In fact, I am eating so well that DH has decided to eat lc also. One night we had my Chicken and "Stuffing". Stuffing has always been a fave of his. The next morning the first thing he said to me was "You can go ahead and pack up all the carb foods and give them away. The way you eat is too good. I don't need the carbs anymore."

So, I was just thinking that maybe if you threw out (or better yet ... give away) your carb foods, and then liven up your menus .... I bet you wouldn't have such a hard time of it. I know if I limited myself to just meat, eggs and cheese I would slip so fast you would think I was rubbed down in baby oil!

Just last night we had Lasagna and this morning I had Tuna Patties. I am soooo loving this WOE and I hope you come to love it also!

I will be thinking about you!!!

Oh yeah ... I had to come back and edit to tell you ... I lost NOTHING my first 2 weeks though I never cheated. But at the end of the 3rd week ... WHOOSH ... 15 pounds gone and down a whole size! I weigh every Monday so I don't get discouraged. But now I know that even if the scales don't move, I will just be patient because I never know when that whoosh will come. I hope this helps.

[heywoodwalker]

Thank you for the encoragement! It does help. I am also glad you shared that you didn't loose the first two weeks. That helps a lot! I will check out some of your recipies and try them. I will need varity. I also like speed in the kitchen. I spent many years raising 4 boys into men, and now I am working and on my own, with my partner. It seems I don't have much time to cook and such, but then again I am still draggin' along with my weight. I will be much better as each lc day goes by. Thank you!!!!

[heywoodwalker]

I chose not to weigh-in this morning. I did test for Ketosis and I am still in. I ate some chili con carne and beans last night, and a few, 1, mellowcreme pumpkins. Leah bought them for me and my grandkids. Now I have to get rid of the remainder of the pumpkins.

I am feeling pretty good today. I hope everyone in this lifestyle can have a great weekend

[heywoodwalker]

Well yesterday was a pig-fest. I chose to get a Marie Calender's Coconut Cream pie, and I ate it all. I also had McD's and didn't drink enough water.
So I am not in Ketosis, and I am beginning again. Today I will have an Atkins shake for breakfast, 6oz chicken breast, and then some slow cooked portk. I will have another shake or two if I feel the need. I will also be sure to drink 64oz min of water. I will check-in this afternoon and write how I'm doing.

[moonchild]

Originally Posted by heywoodwalker

Well yesterday was a pig-fest. I chose to get a Marie Calender's Coconut Cream pie, and I ate it all.

OH NO!!! That is something I would do too often before I got serious with this WOE. I would buy 2 whole cream pies and share 1 with DH and the other was hid in my room and I would eat it when he wasn't looking. Even once I got full, I still finished the whole thing because I didn't want it to melt in my room. I kept the box hidden under my bed until trash collection day. Then I would tear the box into tiny pieces and hide it inside more trash. *sigh* The things I would do to get my sugar fix on! I swear ... it was a true addiction! Heck, I would eat until it made me sick but as soon as I finished vomiting .... I would eat some more!

Thank God I have become content with this WOE so I don't have to put myself through that anymore. Don't get me wrong, those dadblasted commercials showing all those yummy snacks still get to me. If I had them in the house, I would prob gobble them all up! I just don't buy them anymore so that helps me out a lot. It is still a struggle on occasion when I go to the grocery store. I start thinking of the sweets and I will even go look at them. But then I remember how much better I feel now and I don't want to go back hurting like before. So I walk away.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope and pray this WOE grabs hold of you and you become immersed in it so you can become healthy.

Remember, nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels!

Love,
Lynn

[heywoodwalker]

Thank you Lynn. I love your candid sharing. I too, would have kept it hidden so no one else could have or see. But alas, not this time. I had enough and then ground the remaining crusts in the garbage disposer.

So far today is great, and I know tonight will be too. I'm feeling tired, but I know it is because of my food choices yesterday. I will continue on and upward!

[Ana K.S.]

We're all here for you Brenda

[heywoodwalker]

Darn it! I am in binge mode again!!!! I keep swearing to myself to keep on eating that which is healthy and lc, but those Halloween candies keep jumping into my mouth! This morning I finished off the last of the ones at work (hidden in my work area) and now I am eating my tuna w/mayo. I need to go home and clear out my cupboards and any other hidden carb stuff. Will someone please kick me in my grand backside and move me to the straight path?!?!?! I hate this addictivness with sugar.

Thank you all for being here!

[heywoodwalker]

Oh well, back to drawing board. Today I will begin "grey Sheet" for the rest of my 40 days. This way there will be a fast from sugar and white flour. Here is my menu for today:

Wake up=
1 tsp S/F Fiber Therapy

B=
2oz stick cheese
1 small red delicious apple
L=
4oz Pork Roast
2c green salad w/radishes
mustard
D=
4oz white fish, seared
2c green salad w/radishes, grape tomatoes, grren onions
2Tbsp Blu Cheese Dressing
1c cooked spinach
1tsp butter