Journal of lonevision... <3

[lonevision]

I started low-carbing with the Atkins diet a couple years ago, and had managed to go from 185 to about 165. Then, when my dad died, we had to take care of four businesses and see to his estate. Eventually, I stopped caring about losing weight, low-carbing, and didn't care what I looked like anymore.

So, here I am again... Fatter than I've ever been, and finally ready to lose it. X)

213/213/140 are my current stats and goal.


When I woke up I didn't have time to fix something to eat before I had to head out to college, although I thought about slicing an avocado in half... but the thought that the other half would brown before I could finish eating it threw me off. X) So, I just drank water until I got home, when my husband cooked us a couple steaks. We both had salad and blue cheese dressing with them. n.n

Oops - gotta remember to take my vitamin. XD

Edit: I just uploaded a recent photo of myself that i hope will one day soon be my before photo. n.n

[MLR]

Hi Lone, Your story is a little like mine. I did the Protein Power back in 99 and lost about 22 lbs and weighed 127 for a few years. I maintained that weight for those few years and then in 2002 my mom got cancer and between her and my dad running to the doctors and such I was really stressed and before I knew it I was skinnier. I guess mostly it was cuz I didnt have the stomach to eat a whole lot cuz I was so worried about my mom hoping the chemo would work for her (she was very fragile anyway and then to have chemo on top of it). Well the cancer was almost gone and she died and I almost lost it. We have our own business so I had to deal with that also. I had no appetite after that and did not eat a whole lot so I stayed slim for a couple of months and then all of a sudden I got my appetite back and I couldnt quit eating so I gained all my weight back so I was probably between 145-150 and have been there ever since. Tried to go back on PP but couldnt get motivated maybe being depressed & such did it. Well anyway I got pumped again in Aug and have been doing great. I am close to my 127 again and maybe I will be able to get lower. I know this is long but I guess I needed to vent.

[lonevision]

I know this is long but I guess I needed to vent.


Hey, I totally understand! Thanks for for the post. =) I'm sorry about your mom. =( Words in an pixel format can't really express sincere emotion, but I guess that's why we invented smilies.

[lonevision]

This is the end of my 2nd low-carb day. XD I think I'm doing good so far, although I haven't been paying attention to my carb counting. Bad me. x.x At least I've had only minimal carb cravings... ones that I can handle!

Oh, man... I remember the first time I did Atkins... I was sooooo sick! For pretty much the entire induction! I felt so crappy, I laid in bed most of the time. All I could think about was my favorite carb-heavy foods... like a banana milkshake from coffee people, my favorite treat at the time. I wonder if I'll start getting those uber cravings again, or get sick like before. o.O

Oh... When I walked in the door today after getting home from college, I swear I smelled MUFFINS! XD I laughed at myself... we have no muffins... it's just how the house smelled...

Our house smells of muffins. XDDD

I'm having a cup of Vanilla Rose decaf tea with cream before bedtime. Delish!

If anyone stops in, hope you're all doing well, too. XD

[MLR]

I think I'm doing good so far, although I haven't been paying attention to my carb counting

I am so glad you are still doing good . I have alot of Mr. Will Power and I have been doing good too . Today my scale said 132. Only 5 more pounds till goal and then once I hit goal I am going to TRY to get lower. Anytime you just want to talk or post anything you can PM me Good Luck

[lonevision]

It's the beginning of my fourth day... I got on the scale just a few minutes ago, and it said 209.5. Yay, I'm actually losing weight! XD

I wish I had something else interesting to report... but I don't. X) I'm just gonna fix myself a couple eggs and then hardboil the rest for snacks. Hmm... maybe I'll have steak for dinner. =D

[lonevision]

(I would apply this extra post into my previous one, but I can't for the life of me find the EDIT button anymore! x.x)

After class, my husband picked me up but said he was hungry... so we drove to McDonald's... and ordered chocolate chip cookies. x.x I couldn't help it - I had to smell the bag. XD And that's it, I swear. n.n! But I was feeling kinda sad about missing out on yummy chocolate chip cookies.

Oh, well... A smaller ass is better. XD

Anyway, I was just thinking, since I found out about my weight loss, that I do feel different even though the mirror doesn't show me as changed. I'm anxiously awaiting my 1 month mark, when there might be some visual differences to go along with my good feelings. =)

[MLR]

Good for you for not eating the cookies. You would have felt just terrible if you would have. And right a smaller ASS does look better than a bag of cookies. Keep up the good work

[lonevision]

Just a quick message to sum up the state of my weightloss so far:

I don't think I'm doing bad at all. o.o; I sometimes miss eating cookies, particularly when everyone seems to be enjoying them around me, but I'm able to keep the cravings at bay by eating something else! The only thing I've been wanting to do and been unable to - and yes, this is gross - is poop. OMG, can't... poop... I don't feel like I need to, but it bugs me that i haven't done my number 2 in a week. x.x

Guh. x.x

Yeah, I'm taking psyllium husks. x.x Maybe not enough of the creepy, icky buggers though... I'll take one more heaping teaspoonful before going to bed and hope for the best tomorrow.

EDIT: And one more thing... I don't feel hungry. O.O And if I do, I just eat a hard-boiled egg or something else full of protein, and the cravings go away! *amazed* =D
EDIT2: lol, I totally forgot to mention this: As of today, I've made it through my first week with only a little bit of naughty cookie-bag-smelling. XD

[MLR]

Good job Vision for staying on track and snacking on something that is good for you instead of cookies.

For the other problem you may want to try magnesium citrate.

[lonevision]

Thank MLR for your support! I dunno about magnesium citrate... that's sounds rather.. XD But I suppose it can't be worse than drinking down slimy bitty bits of ... wiggly things. x.X;

In other news, I just got on the scale again and I'm 207.5 n.n Yay! And since it's been a full week, it officially goes in my stats. =D

[MLR]

Originally Posted by lonevision

Thank MLR for your support! I dunno about magnesium citrate... that's sounds rather.. XD But I suppose it can't be worse than drinking down slimy bitty bits of ... wiggly things. x.X;

In other news, I just got on the scale again and I'm 207.5 n.n Yay! And since it's been a full week, it officially goes in my stats. =D

It's kind of a citrus taste. But will help with the problem for sure. Plus that scale is extra good the next day or so.

[lonevision]

A new journal entry:

I haven't been feeling very hungry, so I'll just have, like, 5 slices of salami or a coupe pieces of deli turkey meat, and I'm fine for several hours. It freaks me out a little bit... I think on Tuesday I forced myself to eat a large-ish meal of buttered shrimp and salad. Oh, and I did finally go number 2. X) Heee... I wont go into the details. XDD

I weigh myself every now and then, because I can't help myself. I think on Wednesday I weighed 205, but today I weighed 203. I'm almost under the 200 mark, yay. n.n

For exercise, I tried out my pilates workout CD. It's not as good as my old workout, I think. I miss my old CDs. =( I've never tried pilates before, though... but I think I need a padded mat, just for my lower back. x.x The floor is too hard, even with carpet and sheets under me.

I have a TON of homework that needs doing this weekend. =(( Just thinking about it makes me wanna curl back in my bed and hide under the covers. x.x

[lonevision]

Monday! Last day of Induction!?

Today I weighed 201 lbs!! Which means I've lost 12 pounds! I'm quite proud of myself for sticking to the diet so far. One of the things that I've told myself not to do, that I KNEW not to do - AND THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT - is not dive into specifically low-carb snacks or quick-fix low-carb meals. This goes for everything... diet soda, low-carb cheesecake (I practically lived off this stuff my first time around... that was baaad), and splenda. Splenda is okay if you can handle it, but I don't think I want try doing that again. When I needed a snack, I made a quick cream cheese chocolate mousse. Doesn't sound too bad, but it started to replace my meals... and I started getting addicted to "sweets" again. I'm going to keep splenda off the radar until I think I can handle it.

Incidentally, the bulk bins at my local supermarket carries splenda packets in bulk. At $0.03 each, that's not bad at all if I want to control my usage in the future.

Another thing - I'm also afraid of what will happen if I add berries to the diet... Because I LooOoOoove berries with heavy cream SO MUCH... I don't want to over do it.

I think I'm gonna stick to the induction rules another couple weeks, at least - to about the end of the month - then introduce the next step of the Atkins' plan (OWL), including all the extra foods like berries and nuts. I think I will add some squash to my diet, especially since it's fall. n.n

[lonevision]

Today, I had coffeepeople (like starbucks, only 100x better). Decaf latte with half&half and SF vanilla. OMG it was SO friggin GOOD. So good, that I wonder if it has SF vanilla and/or decaf'd coffee in it at all!! x.x
However, I'm not having one again for a while, lol!! Don't want to get dependent... I wonder how many carbs it has... *shrugs* It was a nice treat, anyway.

...Even though it's causing me tummy aches now. x.x

I have an Art History exam tomorrow, so I'll need to brush up a bit for that, memorize terms, general dates, art slides. I hope I do all right. I'm a little bit nervous since it's the first Art History exam I've taken, but even if I get a poor score, the professor provides us with a supplementary exam that he rolls over into our exam grade.... which is nice. n.n but more work. x.x

I've also cleaned up my kitchen, so I'll have a nice area to make food in. I made mini-omlettes in muffin tins today... and though they weren't bad, they didn't make me stand up and sing, so-to-speak. n.n; But it was nice making an attempt to cook something like that.

[lonevision]

Thank goodness the school week is over! Time to relax... for at least my entire Friday... will have to do homework during the weekend. =/

I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but I'm in college, my local community college. I'm currently taking Math, Art History and Western Civ. Two history classes at the same time, lol. X) Actually, those two fit right into each other. The more boring of the two is Western Civ, as I'm taking it online and miss having an active professor instructing me. I think I learn a lot better that way. Despite the time restraints, I'm hoping that I wont have to take it online next term.

Anyway! I made a rather high-carb meal for my husband today... tried to keep myself busy. X) I sent the rest over to my mom and sister, so the meal wouldn't be wasted.

I hope I've lost of weight by Monday. Doesn't feel like it unfortunately, lol!

[lonevision]

I weighed myself today... So far i've only lost one pound. ;.;
I hope it'll go down again by tomorrow, which is my official weigh-in day.

I haven't been doing measurements, though... but I think I'd be even more disappointed if no changed show up there either. Argh... I think it was that coffee I had on Tuesday. =(

[MLR]

Keep it Vision. The weight loss will show up. I feel like I cheated today but I don't think I did. I guess the reason it feels like a cheat is cuz I didn't eat what was on the menu. I'm doing Scarsdale. I had McDonalds fruit & yogurt with coffee for breakfast, then lunch I had McDonalds, chicken bacon ranch salad (grilled chicken) with a diet coke (first soda I have had since starting in Aug. Supper I had green beans, with left over roast. We are remodeling a house and I had to go for parts so that's why McDonalds and then there isn't a bathroom there yet so I couldnt drink my water today. Oh Well. I was still at 129.6 this morning. Hopefully it will be the same or less but I'm thinking it will be up cuz of what I ate from McDonalds. Anyway Vision hope you have a loss by tomorrow.

[lonevision]

Thanks MLR - Been kinda iffy the last week and a half. Started not caring anymore, but kept going with low-carb foods because I'd already passed the first couple weeks.

I didn't bother weighing myself yesterday, so I did today. 196.5. Yey. Under 200. I'll tack it on next Monday.

Things have been kinda crappy for me lately. Depression is at an all-time low; a feeling of loss I can't explain hit me and I've been having trouble fighting it off. It feels sorta like when my dad commited suicide... like a piece of me has died. I hope the feeling goes away soon.

[lonevision]

Bah. My down-in-the-dumps phase has passed. Now All I pretty much have to worry about is trying to make sure all my homework is completed before it's due. X)

Y'know what's yummy? Celery dipped in spinach dip. YUM! Add a couple deli slices of roast beef and, heck, you've got a super quick meal. X)

[lonevision]

I've been munching on some salty sunflower seeds lately, hoping that, despite the extra carbs, they'll replenish some much needed dietary fiber/bulk... so I wont have to swallow the psyllium husks anymore. x.x