Turtlegirl's Countdown to 2007

[turtlegirl115]

I've decided to journal here after browsing the other journals and seeing how much support everyone receives. That's exactly what I need, to know people are reading and will know when I screw up. I vow to be 100% honest in my journal and post every single thing I put in my mouth. Hopefully knowing that I will be held accountable will keep me on track.

So what's my story? My name is Amy and I just turned 31 years old. I started gaining weight in 1993, my senior year of high school. I started taking the Depo shot for birth control and my weight just ballooned up. I probably weighed about 135 - 140 before that but I'm really not sure. All I know is I was healthy and happy and had never had any weight issues before. Then I went to college and gained the freshman 15 from too much junk food and beer. Then I probably gained a few more my sophomore year. Junior year I met a guy who I ended up dating for 3 years. He loved to eat and we ate out way too much. I just kept getting bigger and bigger. By the time we broke up I was miserably fat, close to 200lbs.

Fast forward to 2002, I found this site and started Atkins. I went on again, off again for the next 3 years. I started exercising regularly and got down to 159 from around 225. I was happy at that weight even though I was still trying to lose. During that time, I had started dating my current boyfriend and we had a long distance relationship for about 18 months. I was doing great diet wise. Then I decided to move here to be closer to him. Of course the pounds started packing on b/c I was so in love and just oblivious to the fact that I was gaining again. Before I knew it, I was back up to my starting weight.

Something happened that grossed me out about meat so I became a vegetarian for about 6 months. I thought eating "healthier" would help me lose weight but I didn't lose a bit. Carbs just do not agree with me, even the healthy carbs. I instantly get bloated. I have divirticulitis also so that doesn't help matters. So I half a** tried to do low carb vegetarian but it's almost impossible IMO. I have a lot of respect for those few that can do it.

So here I am, back again. I've started eating meat again, except for chicken. I just have no desire to eat it and doubt I ever will again. I've been pleasantly surprised at how easy it's been to go back to eating meat.

My biggest downfall is weekends. During the week, I plan all my meals and do great. But then the weekend comes and we normally go out to eat for just about every meal. I go with good intentions but then I made bad choices. It's a vicious cycle that I must put an end to!

Currently I'm a member of the XX Away By Christmas Day challenge. My goal is to lose 30lbs by Christmas. That would put me at 187. I'm moving back home mid January and I'd love to lose the weight and have more self confidence when looking for a new job.

I'm a member at a gym but I never go. We moved across town and with the traffic it takes like 30 min to get there. So annoying! But I know I really need to go. I also have a great neighborhood to walk, jog, and ride bikes in. I have NO EXCUSE not to exercise!

My goal that I came up with today is to be 100% cheat free until Oct 5th. I have an engagement party on the 6th to attend and I know I'll be drinking. But I'm gonna be squeaky clean until then and then after that, right back on track.

Today's weight: 214
B: breakfast muffin (sausage, egg, & cheese)
L: taco salad
S: almonds if hungry
D: Dreamfields penne pasta w/shrimp & pesto
80-100oz of water is the goal

Comments are always welcome! Watch me melt!

[turtlegirl115]

Scale teetered today between 211 - 213 so I'll just claim 213. Maybe if I could go to the freakin' bathroom I could lose some weight! I have an Rx laxative but I can never remember to take it.

B: pepperoni & string cheese (couldn't stomach the sausage muffin today)
L: 6 Ritzy crackers & spicy crab spread (store bought - 1 carb)
D: leftovers - either taco salad, penne pesto LC pasta w/shrimp, or beef stew. Taco salad is prob the best choice.
Tons of water!

So I finally found a LC recipe for "crackers" that I like. I get so mad at the $ I waste on crappy LC recipes. I made Linda Sue's peanut butter cookies & cheese pie last week and OMG! EWWWW. And I think she rates them both 4 stars. So I tried the Ritzy Crackers and they were really good! Here's the link: http://users3.ev1.net/~fontlady/ritzy_crackers.html Now I'm not gonna say they taste like a Ritz cracker b/c that would definitely be a stretch but they're buttery & sturdy for dipping unlike most LC crackers I've tried. And best of all they're only 1 carb per 2 crackers. WOOT!

I'm feeling something different this time around. I'm not doubting myself or my success. I honestly believe I'm gonna get to goal this time around!

One of my best friends is getting married in March. We are going to Vegas for her bachelorette party in Feb 07 which is going to be SO much fun! Can't wait! She called me yesterday and apparently the new trend for a bachelorette party is to wear these matching tank tops. I'm not sure what they're made of (silk? satin?) but they'll be the same color but different styles. She told me she needed my bust measurement within the next few days so she could order the tops. That's hard to do considering I expect to lost A LOT of weight between now and then. I'm thinking about ordering it several inches smaller and then I HAVE to lose the weight! Plus I wanna lose the weight before her wedding anyway. I'm sick of being a fat bridesmaid!

I have to figure out an exercise plan. I work full time and I'm starting a part time job this weekend. I adjusted my regular hours at work and now I get off at 4pm. On my days off from the PT job, I need to start going to the gym or at least just take a walk in my neighborhood. I need to do it right after work or I'll come up with some excuse not to. I just wish I had someone to go with me. I hate living in this town with no friends. But we're moving home in January so it's all good!

[flutterbyu]

Amy, just stopping by to cheer you on! You can do this girl!!!!!!

The exercise bug still hasn't bitten me. I was always soo good before with my Callanetics and walking but I had a hard time losing weight then, so right now I'm just enjoying the numbers going down for a while! I know it's really important, but just can't do it now. Plus, I don't think my 800 cals/day on Scarsdale would be very helpful for exercising either!

I'll be watching you melt!!!!

[turtlegirl115]

Thanks for the support Andrea! Can't wait to see if you lost any more weight today. I think I get just as excited about your weightloss as you! lol

I'm so proud of myself! Last night we ended up going to Outback Steakhouse b/c my boyfriend's friend Josh came to visit for the weekend. Going out to eat is usually where I screw up. I'll go with good intentions and then some alien invades my body and makes me order something full of carbs! So last night I ordered the house salad NO croutons (which I LOVE!), salmon, and steamed brocoli. The salmon came with a yummy sauce so I had the waitress ask the chef if there was sugar in it and there wasn't so I enjoyed it. The guys ordered a bloomin' onion and drank beer. I chugged water. Feeling good today!

I forgot to weigh this morning. I was hoping for a whoosh!

Today's plan:
B: Ritzy "crackers" w/crab dip spread
L: leftover beef from beef stew, side salad if I have time to go get one
D: we're grilling out - pork chops and veggies, probably brocoli or fresh green beans. Maybe a salad.

I'm going to drown myself in water today.

[flutterbyu]

Amy, that's FANTASTIC!!!!! Outback is sooo hard for me too...like, I know there's a million great healthy options, but boy oh boy, the unhealthy ones are sooooo good there! I have a bad obsession with their bread and the honey butter :drool:

You did so good though!!! Good job chugging the water too, that's another area I'm working on. We have awful well water, so I only drink bottled water now and I always run out.

Sounds like you're on a great track!!! Keep it up and stay strong this weekend!!!

[turtlegirl115]

Thanks Andrea!

Here's a picture I found of myself when I got down to 160. I had just had my appendectomy so forgive the PJ's and pigtails. I'm putting this here as a reminder that I CAN and WILL look like this (or better!) if I just stick to my plan.

[Amarylis]

Were you able to see your dermatologist about HS?

Amarylis

[turtlegirl115]

Hi Amarylis - Yes, I did go on Thursday. He looked under my arms and at one sore that was healing and said he didn't think I had anything to worry about. He said a lady that had a bad case of HS had just left so I was relieved to know that he was familiar with HS. He put me on a 30 day treatment of Keflex and told me to take 1-2 baths weekly with 1/2 cup of bleach in the bath water. Sounds odd to me but I'll give it a try. I have to go back in a month for a checkup and if I have any breakouts in the meantime I'm supposed to call for an appt. I'm still confused as to what the difference is between folliculitis & HS. He basically said HS is just at the worse end of the spectrum and that over time the cysts form tracts under your skin. That doesn't occur with folliculitis. So for now I'll take the Rx and pray that I'll stay clear of breakouts. I read that cutting out sugar seems to help a lot of people control HS and since I'm lowcarbing again I'm hoping it will help me out. Anyway, thanks for asking. Have you ever heard of bleach baths?

So last night I did really good. My BF's best friend is visiting from out of town. He loves to cook so he cooked some really yummy porkchops, green beans, scalloped potatoes, and french bread. I only had the porkchops and green beans. That bread looked SOOO good but I was really determined to stay cheat free. And I DID. And it felt great!!

Today I started my new part time job. I'm working with adults with developmental delays and/or mental illness. I'm what they call a Community Coach. Basically I go to their homes and then take them out in the community wherever they want to go. Or just hang out at their house and play cards, watch movies, etc. Today we went to the flea market, the library, the drug store, and out to eat. He gets to choose where we go and he wanted KFC. So even though I don't eat chicken, I had no choice but to go. And I was SO hungry at this point. I thought I could get 2 sides of green beans. We get in there and this is what I have to choose from: mashed potatoes, potato wedges, corn, mac & cheese, or coleslaw. So I thought I was making the best choice, the coleslaw. I really don't even like coleslaw! So I get home and look at the nutritional info. 22 &@^*#&(^% carbs!!! I'm SO pissed!! I really hope it doesn't show on the scale tomorrow. Tonight we ordered pizza so I'll eat some toppings and I got a side salad w/ranch. My BF & his friend also decided to bake my favorite cookies today but I've resisted. I had a spoonful of PB & LC honey to satisfy my sweet tooth. I've had about 3 bottles of water. Need to drink more!

Oh, and the scale said 212 today. Finally back to signature weight!

[Amarylis]

I am happy for you. I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone. It is great that your doctor knows about the disease. I think the bleach bath is like chlorinated pools and salt baths that people swear helps with the outbreaks. I know that when I was in college my parents owned a pool and I don't think that I had very many outbreaks those 4 years (maybe 1 or 2 total).

Have you thought about laser hair removal? That is where I am leaning because a few people have said they have seen improvement with this procedure when you are in stage 1 - which I am. They say by killing the hair follicle, you have less cyst formations. You might want to ask your doctor about this and maybe your insurance could cover it if he thinks it is medically necessary.

Great job on your weight loss. I am doing a cyclical ketogenic diet so that I can continue to do my workouts full force. Have you added in exercise? This is what is moving the scale for me. I started in June with a couch to 10k program and I have worked up to running 3 miles at a time. It has taken me some time due to illness and when I started a low carb diet 4 weeks ago, I had a 4 day period of hypoglycemia which had lead me to change up my diet to include carbs periodically to compensate for the depleted glycogen. Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble on - KUTGW.

Amarylis

[turtlegirl115]

Hi - Yes, I'm definitely interested in laser hair removal. I think I'm going to call for a consultation and let that be my reward for reaching my mini goal at Christmas.

Good for you on doing the Couch to 5K program! I've tried it before but never completed it. I really should give it a try again. Either way, I need to add some exercise. I'm a member at the gym but we moved across town so it takes forever to get there and back. Excuses, excuses! But you're totally right. When I got near goal last time, it was only after I started exercising that I really started losing. Thanks for the reminder!

[turtlegirl115]

Yesterday's menu:
B/L: shrimp & crab omelette at an ocean view restaurant
D: leftover dreamfields penne pasta w/ pesto
S: PB/LC honey
Drank about 64oz of water

This was the first weekend in FOREVER that I managed to be cheat free. I'm so proud of myself!!



Monday 10/02
Weight: 211

B: mixed berries w/cream
L: leftover pizza toppings & salad
D: gotta go grocery shopping. I'm craving scallops so I'll probably have those and a veggie
S: probably gonna buy 4 carb icecream bars b/c those are probably better for me than the PB/honey I've been eating. I have to have something in the house in case of cravings. Better than the alternative.

80oz water goal, 1 Dt Sunkist for dinner

[flutterbyu]

Amy, CONGRATS on a cheat free weekend!!!! You did so great!!!! KUTGW!

[turtlegirl115]

Thanks for being my one girl cheerleading squad Andrea! Mwah!

I didn't weigh this morning. I'm trying not to weigh every day b/c the fluctuations really mess with my head.

B: 3 slices bacon, Blue Bunny yogurt
L: deep dish pizza, brocoli salad (Linda Sue's recipes)
D: tuna steak and more broccoli salad if hungry after work. If I'm not hungry when I get home, I'll skip dinner

80oz water goal

I don't know what it is this time around, but I'm still hungry all the time. Well, maybe not all the time but definitely at meal time which I guess is not a big deal. I think at night it's more of a mental thing, wanting to snack but not really being hungry. I must make an effort to start paying attention to what my body is telling me. I also realized that I probably need to keep a check on my sodium. I think I'm having way too much which is probably causing me to retain water.

[flutterbyu]

Amy, I'd certainly be willing to bet that sodium is playing tricks on you. It's great that you've got a water goal, because that certainly helps too!

As far as being hungry all the time, that was something I always struggled with before...even in DEEP ketosis, I was always still hungry. But, I was a bad binger and I totally didn't have my portions under control either, none of which helps. I was always a night time eater too. Constantly had munchies after dinner. It's a HARD mental task to break, and I've only beat it in just the last few weeks myself. Of course, my Diet Mt. Dew habit has increased at night, but hey, at least I'm not eating myself out of house and home anymore!

Keep up the good work. You look like you've got the meal planning down really great, so if you can stick to that, you're on a great track!!!!

[vwchick]

Hey Amy! I just realized you have a journal too!

I've spent a very long time on induction and low carb in general. I've NEVER gotten that appetite suppression that everyone talks about. The only time my appetite has ever been suppressed is when I was so tired of lc foods that just the thought of them made me feel sick. I've discovered that a warm cup of tea with cream and Splenda or DaVinci's is an excellent snack - especially if you make it last a while. Plus, tea is full of antioxidants and very good for you!

KUTGW!

[turtlegirl115]

Thanks Andrea & Bonnie! I'm glad I'm not a freak for not having the appetite suppression that everyone talks about. I do notice a difference in how much longer I feel full between meals but so many people say they literally have to force themselves to eat. I don't think I'll have to do that!

I've never been a hot tea drinker but maybe I'll give it a try. Ya know here in the south, it's not tea unless it's iced and SWEET!

So today I was flattered. A girl at work stopped me in the hall and asked if I was losing weight! Made my day! I really need to do measurements. Maybe I'm losing more inches than pounds. I can't see a weight loss in the mirror but I feel smaller if that makes any sense.

Today's plan:
B: yogurt. Brought 3 slices of bacon but my stomach is queasy so I think I'll pass
L: Linda Sue's deep dish pizza & broccoli crunch salad
D: fried pork chop, green beans, deviled eggs
80oz water goal, 1 Dt Sunkist

I'm going home to an engagement party this weekend. I think I'll buy myself a new outfit on Friday to reward myself for being cheat free for 10 days.

[flutterbyu]

Woo hoo!!! 10 cheat free days!!!!!! You certainly deserve a new outfit for that!!!

Aren't those compliments great? KUTGW Amy!!!!!

[strawbrryblondi]

Way to go Amy!!

[turtlegirl115]

Thanks Andrea & Mandi!

I was so busy yesterday that I forgot to post but I was completely on plan and had a good day. Had to work last night too. I'm tired today!

Down to 210 today! If I can just get back to the 100s I will be thrilled!! I really hope to be there by Nov 1 at least.

B: 3 slices bacon (my sister ate my last yogurt and then replaced it with a yogurt full of sugar. !@#(*&)*%#()*(^# )
L: deep dish pizza
S: peanuts if hungry
D: something on the road if I decide to leave tonight. Maybe Arbys sandwich w/o the bread??

This weekend is gonna be tough but I'll manage. I'll be drinking but I'll try to stick to just beer. No sugary drinks!!! I'm already thinking ahead. I'll stop at Bojangles Sat morning and get a ham/egg biscuit and toss the biscuit. Lunch is the BBQ cookout so I'll have some BBQ and hopefully they'll have green beans. I don't really care for BBQ potatoes, slaw, or hushpuppies so that shouldn't be a big deal. Sat night I'm sure we'll go to O'Cools and they have a delicous veggie plate w/melted cheese so I'll get that. No idea about Sunday. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it!

[flutterbyu]

Mmmmm...Amy, that's funny. I was just talking to DBF the other night that the one thing I really really miss about Atkins is eating at Arbys I love their large roast beef dipped in a tiny bit of Arby's sauce and Horsey sauce. I haven't had it in a very long time but it's soooo good!

Hey, good for you for planning ahead! You are really doing well, and I'm willing to bet that if you stick to plan like you have been, you'll see Onederland before November!

Have a great weekend, stick to your plan and come back and post a loss for me Monday, ok?

[turtlegirl115]

Sorry to disappoint you Andrea. My plan for the weekend sounded good but it just didn't happen.

I came back and was on plan all day Monday. Since then I've been struggling. Going back to an old pattern of doing great all day then stuffing my face when I get home from work with high carb food. Then still eating a LC dinner. I honestly don't know what the problem is. It's not hunger. I wish I knew. I really need therapy, that's all there is to it. I've been putting it off b/c it's SO expensive. It's gonna cost me about $60 a session and I just can't afford it. Sigh.

Today's plan:

Scale was down to 213 this morning but I certainly didn't deserve it.

B: pumpkin cheesecake (4 carbs)
L: chili w/sour cream and a lil cheese (8 carbs?)
D: no idea. Have to work.

80oz water. At least I am getting lots of water in. That's the one thing I seem to do consistently.

I'm so sick of being fat. I'm sick of letting myself down. I'm just sick of it all.

[vwchick]

Originally Posted by turtlegirl115

I'm so sick of being fat. I'm sick of letting myself down. I'm just sick of it all.

I totally understand. We all do...otherwise, we wouldn't be here. We'd be fat and lovin' it. I know it can be hard but it's time for you to dust yourself off and hop back on that horse. I'll be the first in line to cheer you on! Come on, Amy! You can do it!!

[turtlegirl115]

Thanks for your support Bonnie!

OK, OK back on track once again.

Weight: 215 (really surprised I haven't gained more)

B: 2 small sausage patties, 2 eggs
L: salad w/tuna
S: almonds if I'm hungry
D: shrimp, green beans or broccoli
80oz of water, 1 Dt Sunkist w/dinner

I ordered the Colonix program. I read the thread here at LCF and all of the testimonials at the Dr. Futura site. I must admit I'm totally grossed out by it all but I truly think I have gastrointestinal problems. I had a colonoscopy early this year and they said I have diverticulitis, most likely caused by not eating enough fiber. But that doesn't explain the constant bloating I have. I can eat a small salad and I instantly feel like I've eaten a huge pizza by myself. It's annoying and uncomfortable. Plus my mom had colon cancer so that of course really scares me. (They found it early and she's fine now, thank God). So according to the shipping tracker, the Colonix should arrive on Friday and I'll get started.

I am also making a commitment to start exercising again. It's embarrassing how sendentary I am. And there's really no excuse for it AT ALL. I've already got my gym bag packed and I'm heading there straight from work. I'll probably stick to cardio only for now and then later add in some weight lifting which I really enjoy.

Lots of exciting things coming up soon for me. Jeff & I got pre-approved for a mortgage. I cannot wait to own a house! I'm so sick of wasting money on rent. We are moving in early January back to where I went to college. Most of my good friends are still there. And it's only 30 min from my hometown which will be n