CarolO~My journey

[CarolO]

Wow, starting a journal right here in black and white for everyone to read. THis is a big deal for me. My weight has always been my worst kept secret,the overeating and insecurity, the shame and always feeling like I am trapped in a huge fat suit, just dying to get out and LIVE!!!! HEre goes. I have been overweight for 12 years, shortly after I got married I started packing on the punds. Six kids and 12 years later I topped the scales at 292. I have to do something, I want to live to see my kids weddings, I want to grow old with my husband, I want to smooch my great grandbabies, I want know what it is to be judged for who I am not how heavy I am. LEtting the fat go is scary for me, it is my excuse, my identity. I believe that the Lord has so much more for me, I am accepting less than teh very best the Lord has for my life. Time to get real, stop playing games with my health time to stop cheating my family, myself.I am starting induction again, I have gotten lazy and want a clean start. so here I go forgetting what is behind and pressing on...

[kmf1028]

and good luck with all you do!!!!!! You sound like you know where you are headed, so just look forward and march (or run ) on....

This is an awesome place to come for help or encouragement, or just to get a goo kick in the a$$ Your friends here are great at that!!!! but it is just what we need at times.....

So welcome again and keep us posted.

[monet0329]

.. good to have you here with us.. .. you CAN do this hun.. believe it !!.. make it happen.. .. give yourself a good clean low carb week and you will feel remarkable .. I sure did.. then you will want to keep going..
I suggest you don't weigh until 2 weeks are up and you will be amazed .. after that I would weigh once a week.. I know some times I sneak peek..lol.. but I only post on Mondays..

check out the recipes.. they are awesome.. .. if you have any questions.. feel free to ask.. me and I am sure alot of others will chime in and help.. we are very supportive in here.. .. ..
again.. .. and the very best of luck to you..

[CarolO]

I think that the hardest part of all of this is that I have to be a bit selfish. Dh wanted pizza... so we went. I ate chicken wings and pizza toppings. So that was ok, not optimal but ok. I have lived my entire life for everyone else, not a bad thing but takingtime to plan my meals, exercise etc is hard for me. I am a people pleaser. But I am learning that the people who really love me will respect my desire to be healthy and help me in whatever way they can. I am sooo stressed out today too...MIL is coming tomorrow. We are going to the fair so I willppack snacks and bring water to drink. I can do this. Minute by minute hour by hour I am doing this.

[kmf1028]

Carol

I completely understand what you mean, I tend to give in cause it is what other (family) want, not cause it is what I want!!!!!! I need to have more will power and dedermination to do for ME!!!!!!!

Just stay focused and good luck this weekend

[monet0329]

hello.. Carol.. I too, understand all about this..I was the same way.. but... I have stuck to my guns with dh and the kids..I will make something on plan for myself and they are like.. wheres mine..lol.. I said.. this is mine.. you have other snacks stuff I buy for you all.. I need to loose this weight and make a better life for all of us.. so please respect that.. seems to work so far..have a family meeting of some sort and just explain things to them.. they will get the picture.. ..I even made the low carb peanut butter cookies.. the first few batches.. I shared..lol.. but then I made them thier own..
I know it sounds bad sometimes that I dont "share".. but some things like my sf devincci can cost ya if ytour buying it for a big family.. so.. I pick and choose what I can share.. .. they arent deprived by no means of the word..
good luck sweetie..

[CarolO]

Tough weekend...my in laws were here and the visit went well. I went to the fair 3 times last week and stuck with my plan. It was hard but the feeling of accomplishment was really empowering!!! Ok my bad news is that I got a new scale, one that measures to the tenth of a pound awesome for tracking weightloss, awful because I weighed in at 289.5!!Enough whining I am pressing on toward the goal, I WILL get my clothes in the regular ladies section again!!! As Scarlett said Tomorrow is another day...

[monet0329]

Good morning Carol.. .. congrats on the new scale.. now next time you weigh in.. it will be lower..

glad your visit with the in laws was good.... that make sit so nice when you all get alone.. .. I get along with my MIL OK.. she isn't married.. and dh's father died a few months ago.. I didn't get to meet him.. he lived outta state....

Good for you for staying on plan at the fair.. wow.. all those yummy elephant ears.. and corn dogs.. good for you girly.. ..

you have a great Sunday !!

[CarolO]

Monet~ Thank you for all the encouragement!!!

I have to keep reminding myself that being healthy is worth it!!! It is sooo easy to just fall into a bag of chips and never return LOL I keep trying to stay motivated, one hour at a time sometimes. Everyone here is so supportive, just when I feel like giving up, I read something that keeps me going.My goals this week are 100 oz water, and WATP 1 mile every day...

[Chelle]

I just wanted to say hello and that I admire your ability to put it all out there in a journal! Be kind to yourself-you can do this!

[kmf1028]

Carol - congratulations to getting through the fair and no cheats!!!!! That is so great and you will be at goal before you know it.

[CarolO]

Thanks for the encouragement!!! I LOVE you guys!!! Seriously, I know I would have gone off my plan by now if I didnt have this place!! I am really struggling with wanting to "just eat like a normal person". Problem is eating like everyone else has gotten me to where everyone else is, or at least will end up. Obese ( hate that word ) and hypertensive. So I am going to keep on keepin on.

TOday was so busy... I homeschool our six children ranging in a ge from 13 down to 10 months. i did a major house cleaning, and tons of wash. Helped teach Bible Quiz too. I am so tired But its a good tired. Almost forgot, I did my WATP this am, not enough water but I'm headed the right direction any way. Well, I think iI will check out a few more threads and head for bed!

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

[monet0329]

Your doing just awesome Carol .. This place and the people do so help me as well....just keep doing what your doing lady!!

[CarolO]

Ok.. stepped on my new friend and I was 287, a step in the right direction!!!
I have been sticking to the plan pretty well, I think if I goof up its with cheese. Reading Gorge Stellas books, and some recipies here to get some variety. Hey Monet...just noticed that we are pretty close, current and goal. I am so glad we will have each other for support. I get so tired of Dh saying no fruit, thats nuts, but he loves my meat and veggie meals as long as I make him some potatoes or rice. I really dont crave the stuff much, we have chips, bread, etc in the house because my family likes them. But I am encouraging everyone, especially dks to eat more healthfully. I want to be an inspiration to my dks not an embarassment KWIM?

[monet0329]

Hey there Ms. Carol.. and yes.. I do so know what you mean..lol I was just telling a friend of mine today.. she asked me if I ever felt like just going back to the way I used to eat.. I said no.. and I meant it.. we have chips.. cookies.. pop tarts .. cereal.. and I have no desire to even want any of it..
It amazes me really.. I remember before I started on this wonderful journey.. I could eat a plate pf spaghetti.. sometimes garlic bread.. then turn around later while watching TV eat a fudge pop tart.. .. wild how things change.. I am sure when I get to my goal.. I will have a piece of birthday cake.. or something on special occasions.. but I don't ever want to go back to that way..

Yes.. I think your the closest on here to my weight now.. and it will be great to lose weight with ya.. .. and besides.. you have my mothers name.. .. she is carol Rose..

well you have a good nights sleep tonight hun.. I'll check on you tomorrow.. sweet dreams..

[YoYoGirl]

Originally Posted by CarolO

Ok.. stepped on my new friend and I was 287, a step in the right direction!!!
I have been sticking to the plan pretty well, I think if I goof up its with cheese. Reading Gorge Stellas books, and some recipies here to get some variety. Hey Monet...just noticed that we are pretty close, current and goal. I am so glad we will have each other for support. I get so tired of Dh saying no fruit, thats nuts, but he loves my meat and veggie meals as long as I make him some potatoes or rice. I really dont crave the stuff much, we have chips, bread, etc in the house because my family likes them. But I am encouraging everyone, especially dks to eat more healthfully. I want to be an inspiration to my dks not an embarassment KWIM?

Yeah!!!! You are doing so well! --I found that once I started this WOE my family has had better meals served to them. There is always a healthy meat choice along with two different vegetables. My DDs now like cauliflower (cooked)! I do still serve baked potatoes, or grilled garlic bread to them, but don't touch it myself. And I find that I don't miss it and am not hungry for it IF I don't start. My DH finally understands what I can and can't have to stay on plan and he is so supportive of my decisions now that he is startind to see some results. He knows that I will eventually add fruits back in as I get closer to goal. Be diligent and patient with your DH. He will start to understand as you educate him along your journey.

[kmf1028]

Carol - way to go on your loss!!!!! You are doing so well!!!! I also understand what you are talking about, I am trying to get my family to make wiser choices also. The kids do still eat some junk food, but there is alot less of it now and by the time they are older, they will know the correct choices to make.

Have a great day.

[CarolO]

Hey everyone in Low Carb Land..(Monet, I think your goofy mood is catching )

Today was CRAZY!!! Running all morning, to Wal Mart,to the wireless company to get Dh yet another phone he keeps dropping his, then to the library, then to Dh's job site to drop off said phone.

I did pretty well on the plan today B: mock danish, diet rite, L:: double cheeseburger w/o the bun, S:a whipped cream, splenda, thing that was wonderful D:3 hot dogs with mustard and low carb ketchup S: chicken breast. I need to drink more water, did pretty well, 6 glasses.

Hope everyone has terriffic Thursday!!! See ya tomorrow evening!!!

[CarolO]

PS Yo Yo girl, I am in SPencer, NW IOwa. Where are you? Just noticed you are a fellow Hawkeye!!!

[YoYoGirl]

Hey Carol! It's cool to know a fellow Iowan here! I live on an acerage near Denver, Iowa. It's in the NE, just north of Waterloo/Cedar Falls.

Great job on sticking to the plan so far!

[monet0329]

Good Morning Carol.. .. great on 6 glasses of water.. lets try 7 today.. .. hope your day isnt as busy for ya... love and

[kmf1028]

Carol, you did great yesterday!!!! WTG!!!!!! I know you will do fine today. I hope you have a good one.

[CarolO]

Hi everyone!! hope you all had a great day!!!

Today Dh brought his construction crew here and tore out plaster and lathe in our master bedroom. We are in the process of remodeling our 100 year old farmhouse.I tried to keep sane, schooling the kids and trying to see the demolition as progress and it is. Not to get sappy, but its kind of like my life right now, lots of demolition, tearing down my ideas on weightloss, who I am and what I am capable of. But the end result will be worth it!!!

I got bored and bored for me = binging... SO I pulled out my Stella Cookbook and made some rollups and truffles. I probably overdid it, but I still feel proud because I ignored the chips and goodies and actually took the time to prepare foods that were healthy for me. We went out for CHineese tonight, I did pretty weel, tried to stay away from sauces, egg rolls, etc.I did "gut" an eggroll and eat it that way.

Well, I am gonna read a few more posts and head for bed, I am beat!! Hey, tomorrow's TGIF everyone!!! Talk to ya later...

[CarolO]

TGIF

and prayers going out to those who need them!!!

Another rainy day here So Dh and the crew are here working on our remodel, will it ever be done

I took the kids and escaped to the thrift shops and Wal Mart. Picked up some heavy whipping cream, expensive, but so versatile!!!

So far today~

B~ Atkins shake
L~ meat roll up w/ cream cheese and dill relish homemade truffles
Snack~ another serving of truffles
D~ out with family, probably steak,salad and a veggie, club soda

Need to get in a few more glasses of water too.


Not a lot planned this weekend. Working around here, doing planning for school. My MIL is coming SUnday afternoon She is generally ok,but can change moods on a dime, you never know what you will get

Have a great weekend everybody!!! I'll check in later this evening or tomorrow

[YoYoGirl]

Ohhh.. Carol! I feel for you! We just completed a huge remodeling job on our house this past year in our kitchen/dining room. There was drywall dust EVERYWHERE, even in the parts of the house that we had taped off. It is so hard to come up with decent meals when the house is "under construction".
Keep looking for those options at restaurants that are on plan. You are doing great!

[CarolO]

Thanks for the encouragement Yo Yo Girl!!!

We ended up at a Mexican restaraunt, I skipped the chips and dip and went for chicken wings instead. I had fajita w/o the tortillia The meal was wonderful, and I honestly didnt miss the chips and dip.

The hard thing is that Dh gets tired of my eating plan. Sometimes he over analyzes my eating, ex commenting on nhow many calories I am eating, oe fats. This really makes it SOOO hard to stay on plan!! TOnight my dd made Stella brownies w/ cream cheese frosting. All low carb!! I thought that was cool. It made me cry to know that she cared enough to take the time to make me a dessert
A major stressor in my life... Ok ... with baby #6 I had pre eclampsia, my bp shot to 225/125. heartrate 150. was so scared. Then the baby was in distress. It all ended well I am healthy and our son is goregous Now the delimma, for most of our marriage Dh and I were in agreement that we would not use permanent means to prevent pregnancy, after the scare I had last time I just wish he would get a vasectomy, or at least say fine get a tubal. I am scared to get pg again, and I am so busy with the 6 children I have. I am ready to be done with this part of our lives. Dh freaked out tonight and is adamant that he will not get a vasectomy, but gripes about other measures to prevent pregnancy... This is really stressing me, I know it sounds minor, but this is really dividing our home