Losing Everything

[Tiggertea]

I have been on an emotional roller coaster my whole life when it comes to weight and relationships.
My children have called me a "*****" and will have nothing to do with me. The man I was in a realtionship with just ended it with no explanation. So I have lost my children because of him and now I have lost him.
So I guess it is time to lose the weight and then that way I can honestly say that I have lost everything.

My life was great until I found out that I needed a total hysterectomy. No problem. I am not a young woman and way to old for more children. SO told the doctor to yank it all out. What I didn't count on was complications in a simple outpatient surgery which has kept me from working for many months.
I gained 31 lbs in one month after the surgery. But lost the above mentioned just when I was getting well and feeling like I was ready to be released to go back to work.
After 3 months, the doctor has given me a release to exercise again. So back to the gym I go. I have 2 months left on my membership and then I will drop it. The trainer there is the man I was having the relationship with. It kills me to see him each day, but I am determined to go there everyday and make him see that he can't get rid of me that easily. I am placing my anger into my workouts and am seeing good results from it.
I weighed in at 310 lbs on 8/24/06 and was released for exercise on 9/05/2006. My weight as of 9/8/2006 is 291. I have lost 19 lbs in 14 days!
Everyone says that losing this fast is not healthy, but my response is "What a great way to commit suicide, without it looking like it." and achieve a nice body in the meantime.

[pennylovesdarren]

My smilies don't work for some reason but here's a big <HUG> for you Tiggertea! Hang in there! It's going to get better! Keep taking care of yourself. <HUGS>

[monet0329]

hey there.. and ..
well, I don't know the whole story of course.. but we are here for ya.. .. the one thing I can say is.. losing that much is possible. its happened to me.. and when your low carbing when you first start out you do loose alot fast.. granted it is mostly water eight.. but keep up the great work and the fat will shed.. .. oh .. and please just don't do this to get back at him.. do it for YOU.. because you are worth it !!..men can come and go.. you are forever with yourself.. hehe.. so get healthy and sexy for you !!..

good luck.. and kick booty !!

[Tiggertea]

I thought that I would have time to write here everyday and reflect, but it hasn't been working out for me.

I got a Workout journal to keep all of my exercise in and have been doing great with that.

But, life is not getting any better and I seem to be doing a lousy job of killing myself through diet and exercise.

I have been staying on about 170 to 450 calories a day and have been going to the gym everyday. I do the weight curcuit three times a week all 12 machines and two aeorbic classes when doing the weight three times a week. I then also go to the gym and EVERYDAY ride the bike for an hour for 12.8 miles, Treadmill 30 mins with alternating hills and level, 1.64 miles, stair stepper and another aeorbic class at noon. So I am burning over 1000 calories a day during exercise and I am not losing a blasted thing! I have only binged twice on my eating and both times they added up to between 1200-1300 calories. My ketone levels have been mostly negative with a small reading on two occasions.

I burn 2000 calories a day by just breathing according to the charts and another 1000 exercising WHY AM I NOT LOSING!!!!!

Still no words from my kids and the only words from him was "Thank You" because I sat with his mother from the minute she was taken to the hospital until the doctor released her that evening.

It was good to be with her and listen to her words of encourgement. She wants her son back with me. So I guess it helped me get through yesterday knowing someone would like me in their life.

I got to 288.5 on Monday and have bounced 288.5 to 289.5. Was 289 Thursday and only ate yesterday a salad, 1 cup of lettuce with 2 chicken Breasts diced up and Walden Farms French dressing. Today I am up a pound to 290!!!

Buring over 3000 calories a day and I gained weight! This is becoming as big of a joke as my life is!

310/290/ashes

[Tiggertea]

Got my work release and start back Monday at 1 am. Maybe this will help occupy my mind.
Took his mother to the hospital for water therapy. We played with the water weights and sat in the jaccuzzi. We had a blast coming back into town.
Finally a beautiful day! Out on the country highway, in the convertible, top down, sun shining and both of us signing at the top of our lungs to "Bob Segar, Old Time Rock and Roll" and Don McLeans "American Pie". She was dancing in her seat. It was great to see her having so much fun. You wouldn't have known that she had given everyone a scare the day before when she fell in the tub.
He texted me that I ticked him off so I ate a whole half gallon of Edys Slow Churn "Light" Roady Road Ice Cream. So much for staying low calorie.
My muscles ache, especially my hips from all of the exercise. I decided to stay away from the gym today until I know that he is gone and then I will work out.
I am not going to take my blood pressure meds today and see what happens with that.
I also am not going to weigh since I do not want to see how much I have gained.

[pennylovesdarren]

Tiggertea,

Hi friend! JMHO, but if you are exercising that much you need to eat more even though you want to lose weight, that is not enough food. OOPS! on the ice cream but don't worry about it, weight loss is a cummulative thing. Up the calories some, good calories, to say 1500 a day and see how you do. Hang in there!

On not taking your meds, is that okay? I'd check with my doctor. Take care, pamper yourself, you deserve it! Love yourself! OKAY! <hugs>

[AllieCat0817]

Hi Tigger,
I honestly believe this is why you are not losing:

Originally Posted by Tiggertea

I have been staying on about 170 to 450 calories a day and have been going to the gym everyday. I do the weight curcuit three times a week all 12 machines and two aeorbic classes when doing the weight three times a week. I then also go to the gym and EVERYDAY ride the bike for an hour for 12.8 miles, Treadmill 30 mins with alternating hills and level, 1.64 miles, stair stepper and another aeorbic class at noon.

I burn 2000 calories a day by just breathing according to the charts and another 1000 exercising WHY AM I NOT LOSING!!!!!

You are NOT FUELING YOUR BODY ENOUGH for even basic metabolic function, much less to support the workouts you do. You have GOT to eat. You said 170 to 450 cals per day? Your body thinks it is starving, so it will NOT release its precious weight. Feed it, fuel it, continue to exercise, and you will lose. At your current weight I'd think that eating 1600-1700 cals per day MINIMUM is excellent. During my weight loss I did not exercise, I started at 213.5 and did not restrict calories. Sometimes I'd use fitday to count and my cals were usually around 1900 or so. I lowered it as I lost weight.

You have GOT to eat more.

[AllieCat0817]

You use energy no matter what you're doing, even when sleeping. The BMR Calculator will calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR); the number of calories you'd burn if you stayed in bed all day.

If you've noticed that every year, it becomes harder to eat whatever you want and stay slim, you've also learnt that your BMR decreases as you age. Likewise, depriving yourself of food in hopes of losing weight also decreases your BMR, a foil to your intentions. However, a regular routine of cardiovascular exercise can increase your BMR, improving your health and fitness when your body's ability to burn energy gradually slows down.

At your current weight, I will assume you are 5.5, and 40 yrs old. Your BASAL metabolic rate is 2036. That's the amount of calories your body needs everyday just to breathe, pump blood, and exist. Doesn't count walking to the bathroom, going to the store, even minimal extra stuff.

Eating too few calories will lower your BMR and make it even HARDER to lose.

[Tiggertea]

My mind is in a funk so I am eating. Today I had yogurt for breakfast. Work out and came home and devoured left overs from the freezer. Ate a package of Brown and Serve sauage, 8 of them! 2 hot dog buns with butter and cheese under the boiler! Tasted great, but I feel so guilty! I am 51 years old and getting tired.

[JuliaL]

Tigger - it sounds to me like you're starving and binging. That's a dangerous cycle, and you need to learn how to eat the right amount of the right kinds of food in order to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. I'm not sure how to tell you to do that - please do some reading on these boards and learn from others who have experienced what you're going through. Once you figure out how to properly feed yourself you will lose weight. Good luck! Julia