@-->-- :::.. take it easy ..::: --<--@

[courtneyallison1]

Originally Posted by daisymaiz

It is really true.
There have been people that I've thought were beautiful, but when I take an honest look at it, their personalities were the main reason I thought that.
Then there are people who once looked absolutely gorgeous but sure don't look that way anymore (a certain XBF comes to mind)

Daisy,
I second you on that one. Esp the XBF thing. I too, have gone thru that loss this year. Its so sad when people reveal who they REALLY are. That is, when they are UGLY on the inside.

[Samantha42]

Originally Posted by courtneyallison1

Daisy,
I second you on that one. Esp the XBF thing. I too, have gone thru that loss this year. Its so sad when people reveal who they REALLY are. That is, when they are UGLY on the inside.

When Daisy put XBF I assumed exboyfriend.... so court-- when you replied, I was thinking to myself Um girl.... you're married.... you should have lost your exboyfriend a LONG time ago

I once ahd an exBOYfriend that was so gorgeous (I mean, won "best looking" in high school)... and he was nuts!!!!

I had 2 diet sodas yesterday (why??? no clue) and I am at 189 again. I'm being ridiculous! Clean eating today!

[daisymaiz]

Originally Posted by Samantha42

When Daisy put XBF I assumed exboyfriend.... so court-- when you replied, I was thinking to myself Um girl.... you're married.... you should have lost your exboyfriend a LONG time ago

that is what I meant, didn't think of it meaning anything else but that one applies too, now that I think of it.

Sorry to hear that, Courtney

And yeah, my exboyfriend was YEARS ago, but he's still very ugly!

[courtneyallison1]

Haha! XBF I meant Ex BFF. Heehee! - "Yeah I had a boyfriend within the last year" haha, NOT.

[sweetie_pie]

You guys are too funny
I'm just here eavesdropping, I'll try to write more tomrrow.
Thinking of ya...
Hope you have a great sleep tonight (with no waking for washroom breaks!)

[Samantha42]

Well--- My weight is still up... 190 this morning. 190 even. And I thought I did great yesterday!!

Today: egg whites +1 egg, 1.5 servings 85% lindt
Lunch: salad + chicken (NOT chix salad), homemade 1000 island (mayo+salsa)
D: 2 chicken muffins---

Water + iced tea. No diet drinks. 2 pieces of Extra gum.

If I don't lose weight tomorrow I will be so frustrated!!!


I found out today that I was accepted into a program this summer to spend 1 month abroad (europe). It sounds exciting (though somewhat dangerous), and I know I SHOULD do it. I am afraid of the food situation. Meals provided--- also there will be a lot of hiking and outdoor things, what if I'm too out of shape?

I would leave June 26th. I'm thinking about this....

[courtneyallison1]

Originally Posted by Samantha42

Well--- My weight is still up... 190 this morning. 190 even. And I thought I did great yesterday!!

Today: egg whites +1 egg, 1.5 servings 85% lindt
Lunch: salad + chicken (NOT chix salad), homemade 1000 island (mayo+salsa)
D: 2 chicken muffins---

Water + iced tea. No diet drinks. 2 pieces of Extra gum.

If I don't lose weight tomorrow I will be so frustrated!!!


I found out today that I was accepted into a program this summer to spend 1 month abroad (europe). It sounds exciting (though somewhat dangerous), and I know I SHOULD do it. I am afraid of the food situation. Meals provided--- also there will be a lot of hiking and outdoor things, what if I'm too out of shape?

I would leave June 26th. I'm thinking about this....

OMG my dearest! PLEASE GO!!! I can live vicariously through you

Seriously, you should do it. You will probably lose weight over there since their way of eating is so different. My parents come back tomorrow from a 5 weeks stay all over Europe (Italy, England, London, Scotland and Ireland) and I am sure they will be glad to be back but I know that everytime my Mom goes over there she never gains an ounce, eats a lot, drinks wine and loses weight! So it goes to show you that if you do everything in moderation like they do, you will be fine!

You will be down tomorrow, my twin! After I went to the bathroom this morning I was down another pound at 189! Weird since they say that our matters never weigh more than a couple of ounces. THEY are WRONG! Haha!

I have a feeling that you will do well tomorrow! I have also heard a myth that chewing gum can hinder weight loss. I have always thought it to be an urban myth but who knows?

Well have a GOOD NIGHT Sam! ya!

[sweetie_pie]

Sam,

Please do us moms a favour & GO TO EUROPE !!! ha ha! I want to live vicariously through you, too. I'm totally with Courtney - you will be just fine. And as far as the hiking goes, it will make everything balance out. It is a totally different way of life over there, and the change of pace will make up for the extra you might eat in carbs.

How long is the program for? 2 months?

My weight is up today, too, but I know it's because I'm expecting TOM. I just have to wait it out & not owrry about the scale this week. I hate TOM, for that reason.

I'm exhausted today. Went to bed too late last night because I got hooked into facebook! Are you guys hooked on that yet??

I'm off to bed. I'll be dreaming low carb dreams for us all.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

[daisymaiz]

My vote-you should go. You may regret it someday if you don't.

[Samantha42]

I love facebook! We can be facebook friends!

I stared at the scale this morning in disbelief. I may have even chuckled out loud. 190.6. I shouldn't be getting my period until the 25th or beyond.... I cannot believe this!!!

So I proceed to make a nice & decadent breakfast--- more chocolate than I have ever had in the morning (almost 3 servings). And I vow to change from this minute forth because I am absolutely addicted to chocolate now. I admit it. Out of control. I normally don't even eat breakfast. Tomorrow will be a no-breakfast for me . Tea + maybe coconut oil-- back to the good old days!

About Europe-- I should have specified--- it's not really Europe! It's Israel!!! It is a medical ethics / tour Israel program for a month. I would be gone on my birthday (not reallllly a big deal, but kinda annoying). I could stay longer and travel Europe if I wanted to.

That's why it is potentially dangerous!

If I don't go to Israel, there are programs in Mexico and south america for medical spanish, which I am also considering. I think I'm definitely going to go somewhere...

[daisymaiz]

oooh Israel, yeah that changes things a little bit...think about it, but definitely go SOMEWHERE!

[sweetie_pie]

I'm with Daisy! I just bought a CD of Meican music today. Put it on in the car, and let the breeze pour through the windows.... Oh, I love Mexico, and the music just maes me want to go back. (Oh, that reminds me - I am a piano teacher now. The music store I worked in sold instruments & sheet music, not CD's) So, yes, I do love music!

You're so lucky to have an opportunity like that in front of you. Take advantage!

[courtneyallison1]

Yeah Sam, I would opt in for Mexico. Its amazing down there, but you already know that having just been there, lol. I would skip Israel. But I am a BIG Chicken!

[sweetie_pie]

Court, I think you're a chicken because of Kylie. I know that's how I turned into one !!!

[Samantha42]

Do you ever have a whoosh for no apparent reason??

I think that's going to happen to me tomorrow.

Last night I had V8, nuts, an Atkins bar, a big salad (portillo's)... i feel bloated and yucky today. Now I expect myself to be up in weight, but right now I'm 191 WITH my clothes on. At NIGHT. Today I had a ton of coconut bark, eggs, and chocolate. I know I said I would stop eating chocolate. But I didn't.

My mom came to visit me at my apartment and I asked her to take the chocolate. She didn't understand. She knows how healthy I think it is, and I'm like Mom, you don't get it. It's healthy when you have a square... not when you eat 2 bars (5 servings) in a sitting. I made it sounds like I was "burned out" on the chocolate, when really I am obsessed with it! Some people just don't understand. I don't think my mom has ever binged. She eats teeny meals and never seems to be very hungry. Has also never weighed over 110!!! I found a picture of her once that was dated 2 days before my birthday. It took me 5 minutes to figure out she was pregnant in the picture, because she seriously carried it so well. She COULDNT gain weight. They thought I had a problem (the disease where the baby has low fluid? I forget).

So I have only 1 bar of chocolate... and I know if I eat it tomorrow I'll be disappointed when I have none left. So this bar (I'm serious this time), will not be "eaten", but will be SAVORED. 1 square at a time when I am desperately in need.

I had a school lecture last week on sleep and caffeine, and there is a lot of stuff I didn't know! SO I am going to try and unaddict myself to all stimulants. I made myself some herbal iced tea with a mixture of fruits, and I'll sip on that all day long tomorrow.

I ended up calling my ex-bf on friday... it was an emotional and sad conversation... and I spent the weekend in a funk. I'm still thinking about it, but trying to just get over it, get over him, get over everything....

I have felt very lonely lately, and I think it's all in my head. I just feel very needy and very codependent on other people. It's like I AM the one creating this pathetic me.

It annoys me that with so many things OUT of my control, I don't focus on bettering the things I CAN control. I can control how I eat. I understand why people become anorexic to control their lives in the strive for perfection. Sometimes I wish I had that kind of vigilance. I wish I had that motivation-- the kind where you reign over yourself with full control. I wonder if I will ever get back to that place again--- where I take full responsibility for my actions, make no excuses for how I eat or what I do, etc.

The first time I lost weight I would rather die than eat something off-plan. It gave me horrible anxiety if I knew there was sugar in the salad dressing, so I only had oil and vinegar. I felt a lot better back then, even if I was over-doing things a bit. I also ran everyday. Man I miss those days

[Samantha42]

WELL

I think yesterday I overate chocolate-- and ended up violently ill!

I didn't eat after 3pm but I ate until I felt slightly sick. Was fine until 8 when my heart was racing and I felt like my blood pressure was super low. Everytime I stood up I thought I was going to pass out and I got dizzy. It seemed like a delay effect from the chocolate (from the usual kick it gives me). I got in bed at 10 as usual but could not sleep. By midnight I was at the toilet thinking I was going to puke. I sat there maybe 30 minutes. Then every 15 minutes from then until 4am I had to go to the bathroom. AHHHH!!! It was like the time I binge ate on cashews-- anyone read about that in my journal? It's like suddenly my body will do anything possible to get rid of it!!!

So this morning I am 187.4. A celebratory weight, I suppose, but I know I shouldn't really claim it given that I'm probably super dehydrated. I missed a bunch of important classes this morning (and still feel kinda sick). But I'm going to try and eat and hope it makes me feel better (and hope it stays IN my body, like things are supposed to).

Ugh I probably won't eat chocolate OR eggs for a very long time.

Could this be an allergy symptom?

[daisymaiz]

Hope you feel better soon!

[courtneyallison1]

We're with you Sam! Stay strong! Summers comin Remember your last trip home when you want that extra edge! you!

[Samantha42]

Thanks guys! I'm feeling better already (except that it is 6:30pm and I currently weigh 5 pounds more than I did this morning!!)

I have hardly peed today at all!! Majorly retaining water. I have the WORST headache, but had no stimulants today (tea, chocolate), maybe it's withdrawals? My temp is 99.2, which I know isn't high, but it is a bit high for me.

Menu:

B: nothing (slept late)
L: chicken salad (too much) + small garden salad (lettuce, olives, cucs & tomatoes)
D: 2 big bowls of seafood soup + 2 shiritaki packages
Snack: 2 TB coconut bark


I bet I am heavier from the weight of the soup, since I just had dinner, I bet that's 1-2 pounds. I better be below 190 tomorrow though, otherwise I will have had a huge gain.

I am so frustrated. It's like I CANT make a plan for myself.

I want to do M/E or KISS or Stillman's or induction or Kimkins... but I never really pick one and devote myself to it.

I also think I may be PMSing afterall, which if so, means I may actually get TOM on TIME this month Which hasn't been happening lately.

I kinda like this plan:

a lean version of KISS (basically, Kimkins) w/ breakfast of 1-2 TB coconut bark (from CO and whey powder).

That is my plan for tomorrow. Any suggestions?

I feel fat and defeated. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help it

[Samantha42]

I followed the "plan" I said I was going to follow--- and it worked! Down 2.2 pounds, and I am very happy about it (back to 187.6, from 189.8 yesterday). Maybe I needed to watch my fat/calories more.

I'm feeling good about this, so same plan for today!!

B: coconut bark (even though I'm not hungry at ALL!)
L: salad w/ chicken, LC, lowfat,lowcalorie
D: meat + veggie + possibly shiritaki, also LF Lcal LC, maybe some CO

[sweetie_pie]

Way to go Sam!
I think it is improtant to try to stick on one plan, and slowly figureout one at a time additional foods that work or don't work for you. It sounds like you are doing just that. Congrats on the loss !!!

I am also back on plan today.

B-LC shake
L-slices of x-tra lean kielbasa & cheese
Sn-2 tbsp pbutter
D-beef & broccoli stir fry

It's been a cold, rainy, dreary day here today. Wish I could get out for a nice walk, but it's awful! I'm feeling a bit trapped in the house, and because the house is so cold I can't even motivate myself to get the cleaning done. Have to do it though, so off I go....

Have a great one Sam!

[Samantha42]

Thanks, Steph!!

Your menu looks good!

I ate the same exact thing today as yesterday (hoping for a double woosh!).

B: coconut bark (<1 TB)
L: salad + water chestnuts + gr. pepper + chicken breast
D: chix breast + 1 package shiritaki + 2 TB coconut bark

Water: 6 cups again!

We'll see how the scale feels about my new routine!

[courtneyallison1]

My fingers are crossed for you my pal! DOUBLE WHOOSH! Here you come!!!

[Samantha42]

YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME BORED!! Where is everyone??? I keep refreshing every 3 minutes and no responses on any of my threads!! LCF is slow tonight!

What is considered a "woosh" anyway?? Anything over 1 pound???


I decided maybe I should post some new pics.

Actually, I feel like what I need to do is stop pressuring myself to be at my goal by a certain date (incase I don't lose as quickly as I want)! I have always wanted to get people's opinions on how much weight I need to lose-- but I think it may be obnoxious to say "what should my goal weight be". But since this is MY journal, I can do whatever I want, right??

SO here is my picture. Me at 187 lbs.

What should my goal be? Be honest!!

The reason I ask really, is because I feel like my goal of 140 (and my ultimate goal of 123) may be too extreme for me right now. I would like to think that I would be happy at 150 or 160. I don't know why I NEED someone to tell me that's true, but I want your honest opinions. It's hard to judge yourself, KWIM?

[Samantha42]

And here is another (hopefully I didn't post the same pic twice!)

This is me from yesterday. There is a real nasty one of me sitting. My tummy looks gigantic! Dare I post it?