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Old 04-29-2009, 03:19 PM   #331
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Stats: 205/144.6/150 5'5" 30y/o
WOE: Mod Carb/Paleo/IF
The day went great! And every day since then (uhh that means yesterday) has also been great. 30+minutes of exercise per day... eating atkins induction style with minimal cheese and nuts (the nuts were in the chicken salad I bought...).


I have been eating very well and working out everyday.... the scale hasn't made huge moves--- lost 1.8 lbs the 1st day and gained 0.2 the second day, but I'm trying not to micromanage and get obsessed over that. Although, I'm kinda glad I'm becoming a tad obsessed because I don't know if I could do it otherwise.

Tonight I have a party/thing at a bowling alley with food provided. I'm going to have a HB egg or 2 before I leave, but I'm still fearful about the food choices. I'll do the best, with what I have... that's my new motto Except that I have very high standards for "the best" and could probably forego eating altogether, but I won't. I know myself. I just hope it isn't only pizza... .that's one of my biggest fears! Make it something easy to tweak without being noticed! Like taco/taco salad... or cheese and veggie platter.

Anyhow... I'm debating my "official" weigh-in days... Wednesdays I think. I was 194.2 today (gross ). But I feel firm and strong and my body is very sore from my workouts, soooo hopefully the scale starts reflecting that!
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:17 PM   #332
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Great job! Just keep your nose to the grindstone and that scale will move! Good luck at the party!
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Old 04-29-2009, 07:12 PM   #333
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UGGGGG IT was pizza!!!!! I had 3 squares sausage pizza and 1 light beer. I'll hopefully still be in ketosis and just keep on trucking. I felt full afterwards which was nice, at least. Still. Annoyed.
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Old 05-03-2009, 08:14 PM   #334
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How's it going?
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Old 05-04-2009, 06:45 PM   #335
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Going ok... The weekend I was mostly on plan but drank too much. Had a low dehydrated weight then immediately bounced back up, naturally. The pizza thing didn't set me off! It did made me a little "relaxed" for a few days... a nibble of this here and there, but now I'm back to a deeper ketosis and not having that problem.

I worked out 5 days last week, and sofar 1/1 days this week. I feel a difference in my body, but the scale is not reflecting that AT ALL. I am down about 1.8 pounds since I started on Monday, which SEEMS like a decent loss, but one must understand I have been strict strict strict all week, working out a TON.... was expecting a 5 pounds weightloss this first week! I haven't tried as hard as I'm trying in a long time. I always thought as soon as I got "serious" the rest would be a piece of cake.

Yet here I am still struggling!

It made me frustrated-- yesterday I got the salad bar from whole foods... then ate some nuts and cheese (my old gross combo of walnuts with melted cheddar on top). Probably upped my calories from 1000/1200 a day to 3500, yet I'm still in ketosis and I don't feel to gross. As far as I can see I'm expecting a 1+ pounds weightloss for tomorrow... Might I actually be eating too little fat? Too little carbs? I never know what to do. At some point in time everything seems to work and then suddenly it just doesn't work anymore, and I'm left more confused than when I started. Maybe I just needed a shakeup?

Retaining water from working out/lifting weights?
Or in denial about how much I'm really eating?

In any case. I FEEL good and I know that counts for a lot of it. That's why I will continue this WOL.

Though my sleep is NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!
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Old 05-06-2009, 05:46 AM   #336
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Continuing downward! Down 3.4 lbs in 10 days. It doesn't *feel* like much when I look at it, but I guess I shouldn't expect a huge water weight loss as I wasn't that carbed up when I started.

If I kept this up, consistently, I could be happy. That's like 2.4 lbs per week-ish--> a thinner, happy me in like, 3 months. (Mmm 10 lbs a month!! that would be nice!!)
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Old 06-23-2009, 08:54 PM   #337
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I just started reading your journal and can totally relate to the "everything would be better if I were thin" thoughts. I can tell you that that is not entirely true but I know that it does feel SO much better to feel confident and GOOD about your body. I know you can do this Samantha. Reading your journal is inspiring to me.
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Old 04-30-2013, 10:48 AM   #338
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Oh my goodness!!!!

To anyone who has ever read my journal and posted here a million years ago, just know that this journal seems like it was written by a different person now. I can't believe I was ever this down, stuck and depressed, but I do remember it well as I read through these pages of gluttony and hopelessness.

Part of me wants to delete the journal completely. Another part of me wants to read it all again so I can remember how awful it felt being so overweight and stuck in a binge/restrict cycle.

In any case, I am doing so so so much better and am very happy, eating well, and almost at goal. A lot has happened since I last posted here 4+ years ago.... moved to California, lost my mom (my favorite person, ever), met the greatest love of my life (who I'll probably marry), and am almost finished with residency. Have lost ~30+ pounds since moving here and eat like I suppose a normal person without carb/binge-eating tendencies would. Just a bit healthier in terms of my food content.

I'm about 5 pounds from goal and was considering posting a "goal thread" explaining my story when I do. Though, since I'm not even very LC I wonder if it would cause more mess than help...

In any case, I'm going to conclude this journal by saying, none of this is permanent, it can get better, and I am so much happier and healthier than I was before !!!!
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