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Old 04-26-2007, 05:06 PM   #271
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I think I ate too much today :blush:

Can I blame it on my PMS?? Do you guys let yourself eat more when you are PMSing?

I had 3 salads + coconut bark

B: 2.5 TB CO
L: salad + tuna + a tad of chix salad
L #2: bistro steak salad @ Panera, with Greek dressing, had gorgonzola and walnuts
D: salad + radish + chix + artichoke + cuc + peppers + portillo's dressing
1 pt of grape tomatoes (is that AWFUL )


After I had the Panera salad my throat felt itchy. I wonder if it was the dairy or the nuts?

Darn! I hope I'm not heavier tomorrow. I'm mad at myself
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Old 04-26-2007, 05:20 PM   #272
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Don't worry about it. I do eat more when I am PMS'ing BUT its not that I allow myself, I just naturally tend to be hungrier at that time Ever since I have been drinking Yerba though, that has kinda gone away and so has a major portion of my PMS symptoms and irritability. (Though not all of course )
Your menu sounds totally good though and a lotta salad never hurt anyone. What if it makes you lose more?!?! I will jump for joy for you!

You will be fine and good luck tomorrow!
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Old 04-26-2007, 05:49 PM   #273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by courtneyallison1 View Post
Don't worry about it. I do eat more when I am PMS'ing BUT its not that I allow myself, I just naturally tend to be hungrier at that time Ever since I have been drinking Yerba though, that has kinda gone away and so has a major portion of my PMS symptoms and irritability. (Though not all of course )
Your menu sounds totally good though and a lotta salad never hurt anyone. What if it makes you lose more?!?! I will jump for joy for you!

You will be fine and good luck tomorrow!

I doubt I will lose I gain very easily, and I can almost always predict if the scale will go up or down. I weigh over 190 right now--- hopefully I pee 10 times by morning Otherwise-- I'll probably be about 188.

GRrrr. When am I going to be in the 170s? 160s?? 150s?!?!? COME ON ALREADY!!!
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:16 PM   #274
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GRrrr. When am I going to be in the 170s? 160s?? 150s?!?!? COME ON ALREADY!!!
Stay the course and you will be there in NO TIME!!! I am going to take new pics either tonight or tomorrow! I already feel so great like everything is fitting better, etc.

Not to boast, but I also forgot to tell you all about the wedding shower I went to last weekend and my Parents being back after not seeing me for a month plus... Everyone last week told me that I looked like I had lost a LOT of weight (yeah, thanks. I think ) and my Parents noticed a change. My Mom even got jealous (haha) and asked me what I had been doing - my Husband saw the way she asked me and he was blown away at how she acted. I always explain how she seems to like it when she weighs less than me and he never sees it. He saw it then and thought it was funny. My Mom has always been a yo-yo dieter and she has been successful with WW for the past couple of years although she fluctuates a lot because of WW's eat whatever you want theories. So when I started to gain I know she loved it that she was smaller than me because she could try and give me advice and try to tell me how to lose weight. As if I need the advice... So yeah, it felt good to WOW them because you really don't see the changes in yourself like everyone else does...

So Sam, that was my "Library" moment. Haha! LOL.

Just thought I would share some good news that I totally forgot to share last week!

KUTGW Sam! You'll break into the 150's in no time!
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:42 PM   #275
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Hey Court -

that's awesome about the shower last weekend!! Doesn't that feel great ??? I had the same thing with my MIL 2 weeks ago. She is the same way - always trying every diet for about a week, and never sticking to anything, so she's never really lost anything. It killed her when she hadn't seen me for a while, and then I was down 25 lbs.

You just stay the course, and you'll REALLY wow them next time you see them!

Sam, I ate almost a whole pint of those tomatos today, too! I haven't had them in a while, and they were soooo good. So sweet! Be glad that you had GOOD carbs, and not awful man-made ones. We are in this with you for the long haul, so don't sweat it. You WILL get the weight off, sooner or later. I know sooner would be better than later, but I think of it this way :
If it takes longer than I would like, it means the chances are greater that it will stay off for good. It also means I will get more practice in making this a LIFESTYLE choice, rather than just a temporary diet.

Slow & steady.... slow & steady..... You are doing it girl !! Don't sweat the scale tomorrow, especially if it's TOM. My weight fluctuates by as much as 6 pounds at that time, but it always comes off if I just stay the course. (I wish I'd followed that little bit of advice last week !)

Got to get to bed. I've been staying up too late on the computer lately, and it's killing me during the day.

Hugs to you both !
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Old 04-27-2007, 08:03 PM   #276
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Court-- That's crazy about your mom!! I can't believe that your Mom would want you or your dad to fail at this WOL. It will even better HER to have you guys get in shape and be healthy! And about your friend who kinda insulted you even though she didn't mean to: whatever gives you motivation, go for it! You KNOW what your size is! Who is she to say that's not possible?!?! At 186 you look HAWT, I could see how you would be a tiny thing at 130, even 160 pounds! And PS how did your parents look after their trip? Did they lose weight from walking a lot, even though they didn't eat well (I'm asking because if I go there in July I want to think that I can still lose weight! ) PSS We were basically the same weight today, again!

Steph-- That's great that you showed your MIL how great you are doing! (a silent victory, right?). You are right about this being a long-haul thing--- one summer isn't going to make or break me if I am NOT 140 lbs. As long as I am working, and progressing, and getting to goal at a reasonable pace (6 months? 1 year?) then I am doing well. The slower you lose the longer you keep it off?

I was up to 187.6 today (grr, but not awful). TOM is seriously pending.

I ate a bit too much

B: 3 TB CO bark
L: salad + chicken + vinegar
S: 1 package pumpkin seeds, 1 package peanuts, 2 SF mints, 2 SF gum
D: ceaser salad + tomato mozzarella salad (both shared) + tilapia, shrimp + veggies (escarole, mushrooms). 2 rum & diet cokes. 3 spoonfuls of vanilla gelato. Shhhh you didn't read that!



If I go on that trip I am going to be "hiking" a lot. That's all the itinerary says--- and I KNOW everyone on the trip is going to be thin and in shape (I saw pics of people from last years trip). I do NOT WANT TO BE the FAT girl. So I have 2 months-- almost exactly-- I have to make this happen. Say I lose 2 lbs a week-- then I can be in the 160s (almost )

I just saw this smiley A person waving hand--- is this new??? OMG and this one too! There are new SMILEYS to be used!! Haha only two, but still, kinda exciting.
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Old 04-28-2007, 06:56 AM   #277
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I am 189.2 today. Ridiculous! But still NO TOM!!!! SO I am attributing it to TOM (and a late, big dinner), and will hopefully see a massive woosh soon!

I have NOT been sleeping well the past few days, can PMS do that??


Oh my! I just went to google periods and insomnia, and I typed in "TOM sleep". OBVIOUSLY they didn't know what I was talking about! I forget how TOM is only used here! Silly early morning mistake. Man, I'm tired! Long day of work ahead of me. Grrr.

AND it's verified: (I have about 85% of the symptoms listed).


Nearly every woman has experienced premenstrual syndrome, or PMS, to some degree; its symptoms occur during the early luteal phase of your cycle, two weeks prior to menstruation. (If you don't become pregnant at ovulation, both estrogen and progesterone decrease and your body sheds its uterine lining as menstrual flow.) Indications include bloating, weight gain, fluid retention, insomnia, moodiness, irritability, anxiety, headaches, acne, breast tenderness, shifts in sex drive, cramps and cravings for carbohydrates and sweets. Studies indicate that these lowered levels of estrogen and progesterone increase nighttime awakenings and NREM, or nondream, sleep.
Recent studies also show women who suffer from PMS have less slow-wave deep sleep -- stages 3 and 4 -- during the entire month, not just during the premenstrual weeks. The most common PMS sleep complaints include all three types of insomnia (sleep-onset, sleep-maintenance and early morning-awakening insomnias), hypersomnia (sleeping too much), unpleasant dreams and nightmares, and morning and daytime fatigue.
If you suffer from serious mood shifts during the two weeks prior to menstruation, you may be diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD. While you might experience other symptoms -- such as fluid retention, bloating and cramping -- with PMDD, you'll also notice mood shifts that feel like major depressions, accompanied with all the associated sleep difficulties. The symptoms disappear until the next luteal phase, when your hormones again interact to prepare your body for possible pregnancy.

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Old 04-28-2007, 05:25 PM   #278
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Well, I THOUGHT I was craving before-- until today-- when I was REALLY craving

B: 3-4 TB CO
L: cobb salad + italian dressing, chicken stew
D: salad --- huge-- mixed veggies, portillo's dressing + pine nuts (1.5servings?)--- I ate way too much salad & way too much dressing
S: pumpkin seeds

+ 1 Hansen's Diet Soda (thirsty from the seeds?)
+ iced tea (no caffeine)
+ 3 cups water? (oy)

Remember my last post on PMS symptoms? ONE of those is REALLY bad right now (ie I feel like my chest is going to fall off). Ew that was graphic. WELL-- that means I am retaining major water.... :blush: I am sure I am going to be up in weight tomorrow. I can't deal with this roller coaster ride.

I am probably not in ketosis... tomorrow I may water fast. Exams are coming up soon (start Friday, thru next Friday), and if I am at all tempted to binge I KNOW I WILL. Every round of exams (4 thus far) I binge on high carb foods and LC foods (usually it starts with LC snacks like peanuts-- leads up to full on carb binges). Last time was the worst week of my life (you can read my uber depressing posts on my journal here, woohoo! uplifting stuff, let me tell you!)


I feel like for every step I take in the right direction I am pulled 3 steps backward. My progress is nil. I have gained 10 lbs since school started (lost 5, then gained 15). Incredible. I really can't take this anymore. That's a new face. Dont know what it means--- but felt like using it. It looks like someone who is blushing. I don't feel like blushing, I feel like crying.

And TOM STILL HAS not started!!!!!! This is awful.
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Old 04-29-2007, 06:50 AM   #279
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Hey just popping in to say hi, and give you a

Your new avatar is beautiful. I like the B & W.
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Old 04-29-2007, 07:23 AM   #280
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Hey just popping in to say hi, and give you a

Your new avatar is beautiful. I like the B & W.
Thanks Daisy darlin'! How are you doing??? I am still so excited for you being pregnant. You are my first pregnant "friend" !


Me? Up in weight (as expected). Going to flush with lots of fluids. CO for breakfast.
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Old 04-30-2007, 06:38 PM   #281
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And a WARNING here-- I'm about to vent some frustration:

How long have I been posting that I am PMSing?? I'm going to look back and check, but I'd say 5-6 days? Ok Thursday morning I said I was super bloated and about to have TOM. It is now Monday night. NO TOM to be found. Wouldn't care except that I FEEL like it should be here. I feel yucky. And I have been eating a lot the past few days telling myself it's kinda OK since I'm PMSing.... Ummm what is going on?! It's not fair-- lose weight 2 weeks of every month, then stuck gaining weight for the next 2? Who invented this plan

So there is my first vent. PLUS I am sure I'm up in weight. I kept snacking on pumpkin seeds all day and I probably had about 7! TB of coconut bark.

My other gripe is that I think LC makes me depressed. When I do really well and lose weight, I'm depressed. When I eat higher carbs and gain weight, I feel giddy and silly and I laugh more. What's up with that? How can something that feels so right for your body not be right for your mind to?

I know it obviously will help my mind in the long run, and I am much more stabilized when I LC. I just don't feel peppy and fun. I think everyone is annoying. I see people's little quirks all the time instead of the positive things I should be grateful for.

OK that's enough It's MAY already. MAY. WHAT?!?!

and COURTNEY (can you picture me screaming)... WHERE ARE YOU Where do you Go GO Go.

Steph-- did you get a new computer yet
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Old 05-09-2007, 09:47 AM   #282
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187.2.... not bad for exam time. Doing pretty well, not really losing, but glad to maintain right now.

Just a quick check-in!
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Old 05-09-2007, 09:50 AM   #283
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SWEET! Congrats! You are doing awesome! Can't wait til you're back for good!
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Old 05-10-2007, 07:29 AM   #284
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Thanks, Court!!

Today was 186.2!
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Old 05-22-2007, 04:38 PM   #285
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181.6 Just checking in. Things are going very well!
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Old 05-23-2007, 06:43 PM   #286
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Sam,
I haven't checked in with you in a while, so here I am
Wow, I can't believe how great you're doing !!! Way to Go Girl !!!
The pounds are just dropping off you now!

I have been doing much better after getting back into ketosis. I had a minor moment on Monday night (it was the Bachelor finale -- Somehow I just didn't know HOW I could watch the 2 hr finale without a bag of Doritos !!). Well, that bag (and trust me - it was no small bag!), that bag set me off course for about 2 days. Until that point I had been steadily losing about 0.5 per day. The next morning I was up 1 pound, and it took until this morning to get back to where I was on Monday.

The moral of this story ---- Don't binge!! Just don't do it! Ketosis is the place to be, so just stay there & feel the joy of watching the scale freefall!

Hope you're having a great day. Keep up the good work !!
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Old 05-23-2007, 06:53 PM   #287
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Steph-- glad to hear you're doing well!! I'm doing alright-- had some gelato at dinner. But, I feel in control, and now I'll be right back on track tomorrow. I'll bet I'm still in ketosis, given that I have been so "on" lately. Hopefully I can be in the 170s soon!!

We should start posting here again! I miss you

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Old 05-24-2007, 07:14 PM   #288
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I miss you too! Life has been busy since the nice weather hit. I don't know where my days go some weeks! I'm a stay at home mom, but I am honestly busier than when I was working FT !! How can that be? I think it's because my "work" is all around me, 24/7. At least when I worked at an office, I left the office behind. Now my "work" stares at me from the couch... and even when I'm on the computer, the laundry room is right beside me..

Sigh..

Anyhow - Yes, I'm sure you are still in ketosis! Your body is so much more forgiving of a 'cheat' if you are in deep ketosis. (Mine is, anyhow). BUT, I have to be sure not to let it get out of hand.

Tomorrow we're going out for dinner, and I'll be able to eat LC at the restaurant. Then everybody is coming to our place for dessert. I'm making this strawberry shortcake/jello/whipcream thing that is to die for. The only ingredients are Cool whip, jello, strawberries, & angel food cake. I figure I'm going to make it with real whip cream, diet jello, and not be concerned about the angel food cake. That will be my only splurge for the night, so I think I'll be ok. Or, am I just deluding myself?!? We'll have to wait until Sat morning to see!!!

Hope you're having a great night. Do you have school right through the summer, or are you done soon? Have you confirmed plans for your trip in the fall? I'm just curious.

Night night!!
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Old 05-25-2007, 06:23 AM   #289
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Hey Steph!!

I haven't confirmed my plans for the summer actually. I have done a total 180 on what I want to do. I don't really want to be gone for a month anymore, I really want to be here at home for my last summer. There are so many Chicago things I have always wanted to do and never did, and this is my last opportunity to do a lot of them.

Hmmm the shortcake thing--- I dunno! Could you just have the whipped cream and strawberries? Such a slippery slope, KWIM?

I was in ketosis yesterday despite the gelato. But I had a huge dinner, followed by 2 packets of peanuts (the lil bagged ones), then a pint of tomatoes. It wasn't really that bad (far from a real cheat), but I ate late at night and the peanuts did NOT agree with me. I think I'm up like 3 pounds from it. Back on plan today! But I'm definitely frustrated.

I have school for 3 more weeks! Then I'm done until September. The next 3 weeks are going to be tough tough tough. But since I made it thru last exams on plan I am determined to do it even better this time. IE this time no diet drinks at ALL, and no seeds probably, too. Just a very clean plan and a lot of studying, hopefully I'll still drop some pounds!
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Old 05-28-2007, 09:17 AM   #290
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Well this weekend has been interesting food wise---- after my slip-up on Friday, I was ravenous saturday morning and had a salad w/ a lot of cabbage (as the base), sesame oil, chicken and bacon. It made me SO sick ALL day, with horrible horrible stomach cramps and nausea. I don't think I digested the meal for 24+ hours. It was sick. So when I went out Saturday night I was in an awful mood and my high school friends ended up bailing on me. I stuck it out til 11pm and started to feel better, so I ended up dancing and having a good night. Mr simple was there, awkward! Haha, not really, but this is not a healthy crush that I have going on. I know this is off topic but this weekend I have realized that I only like going out and being social when I know Mr. Simple is going to be there. Which is not good! I need to be independent and outgoing regardless of my silly crush on a guy who has a GIRLFRIEND. And it's funny I call him Mr. Simple because last night we were hanging out and he said something like "I'm a really simple guy", and I was thinking, if only you knew I call you that!!


Ok so Saturday all I ate was the salad at about 11am.... then nothing until Sunday morning because I felt so ill. Sunday morning I had a spinach and feta omelette.... then had nothing the rest of the day. Except for a few drinks at night Yes, I drank on an empty stomach (WHO does that??!). Somehow, I think my being sick on Saturday got me back into ketosis more quickly, and now I have no appetite and don't want to eat.

Another ANNOYING thing is last night I had some people over at my apartment... and eventually I was the only girl there. So the guys were looking at my trashy magazines (people, in touch etc) that I have on my table, and they were talking about girls. You know, who is hot, and who is blahblahblah and it made me insanely jealous!!!!

I am convinced that if I were thin that they wouldn't have been talking about other girls. Like I would have been enough or something. Which is ridiculous. I will never be Jessica Alba or Jessica Simpson. I just tell myself that if I were thin, got blonde highlights and a nose job, my life would not be flawed anymore. Isn't that ridiculous??

And a new recent low today: 181.

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Old 06-28-2007, 07:38 PM   #291
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Can I just go ahead and vent for a second?


I planned out my whole summer during my "high on life", super social, "thin" time period (May/early June)... and I have seriously miscalculated things. I am a total hermit. Everyday I come home from work (Diabetes camp), I order movies on demand, I BINGE eat, and I mean binge eat... not just overeat. I cry (from the movie, from life)... I think about moving, I think about really dumb depressing things.

Then 2 days ago my Mom suddenly has a huge unexpected event-- her boyfriend of 5 years who lives in my HOUSE just comletely changes overnight and moves out-- the whole shebang. My mom was diagnosed with leukemia 2 years ago and this man was her comlete support system, love of her life, etc. Now I just don't know what will become of her. She is so unhappy and distraught.... she feels like she can't go on.

So she plans on coming here this weekend... and I have a pint of ice cream, a canister of Dibs (yeah who buys DIBS?), and a bag of trailmix in my freezer. I was going to throw them out, and have convinced myself to keep the "real" and snack food in the house for when my mom comes. I really have little food in my apartment that would suffice her.

Now I'm questioning if I should be moving back home for the summer. And then I foresee another summer just like the past 6... a fattening, depressing, binge eating, antisocial introverted summer. The kind of summer where I sorta stop calling people and they sorta stop calling me because we all know that I'm lame and won't step out of my house. The kind where my mom wants to go to dinner at a nice steakhouse in town and I panic because I don't want to see people from my "old" life and I convince us not to go or to go on a Monday night at 4pm.

And it makes me want to cry and cry and not get out of bed.

I keep trying to get advice, and I mean real advice, the kind that doesn't just slap you on the face, but comforts you, then makes you feel optimistic, then gives you a plan to get you started back up again. I am so fogheaded I can't even make a plan--- I sit here just throwing words at myself: atkins! stillmans! meat egg! fast! pills! but none of it materializes.

Again, 1 step forward, 2 steps back.
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Old 06-28-2007, 07:55 PM   #292
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OMG Samantha...are we twins??!!

So much of your journal especially this last one hit a nerve with me.

I just wanted to let you know there are a lot of girls that are struggling with the same things you write about.

I would love to visit your journal regularly!!

I just came to LCF for a sec tonight and happen across your journal.
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Old 08-07-2007, 10:03 PM   #293
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SOOO remember this ol' thing anyone?

I'm back. Hopefully for longer than my past few visits. I'm just kinda emotional and felt like venting.

Everyone is pissing me off in my life right now.

It's about 900 degrees outside and sticky and humid so I can't be outside. Inside, my bedroom and bathroom are suffering from bug infestation from my bird's food. And these little shats are impossible to kill.

I clean the bathroom with soap water: they reappear. I clean it with bleach: they reappear. I spray with raid. THEY REAPPEAR. I feel like I'm a hostage at home and I'm stuck here (vs. in my apartment in the city) because I am the only person in a position to deal with "the bugs". Because technically, the bird is MINE. Because technically, the only places they are infesting are MY bedroom and MY bathroom.

So who has to buy the raid? Then a vacuum (YES, my home home does not have a vacuum; thank you cleaning lady for bringing your own, omg i'm a spoiled brat). Who has to go outside in the 6,398 degree sauna outdoors to clean, nay, BLEACH the birdscage, garbages, towels, rugs, food containers, etc. to try and kill the bugs. Running the dishwasher, the laundry.... buying new food.... all this for these little bugs that won't ever die. Or "weevils" as they are so kindly called.

The sleep has been awful. The first night I had nightmares about bugs crawling allover me (these dreams started once I did realize that there were, in all lifelihood, bugs crawling allover me). Now I just toss and turn until 4am, then sleep until noon. Except that tomorrow I'll have to wake up earlier because the only dr's appointment I could get is at noon. Can you believe this? I'm complaining that I have to wake up early because I have an appointment, at NOON.

My sister is being a total bi*otch. Everytime I come home for a few days I see how little she does to help my mom. It's really awful. For a while my mom was really, really sick--- and it was so much work for me that would have been so much lighter if my sister had helped. It's disappointing because I think in the future even worse things will happen and she would still not step up to the plate. This is an awful thing to even be thinking about. I just wish my sister were more mature and responsible. She acts like such a child I can't stand it.

When I confront her about it she pulls the excuse that she has to work and I don't. (note: I consider medical school to be a full-time job, and THEN some, so she can kiss my a$$ when she says this). ALSO note: my sister gets home from work at 2:30pm. Then she naps for 3 hours. Then she works out.... so even her "work" is leisurely work. Plus, even when I WAS working she still never took out the trash, did the dishes, cleaned up her stuff, bought food... etc.

For every father's day, mother's day... family birthday--- who remembers? who suggests buying a present? who has to be the one to go out and BUY the present, then just gets reimbursed for 50%. So many times we give a present to one of my parents that my sister hasn't even SEEN. So when my dad opens up his banana republic shirts, my sister is also sitting there judging me on whether I did a good buying job or not. She might even regret having paid for whatever it is we bought him.


I'm sorry, I'm cranky. My eating is ok and I'll explain more about that later when I'm not weepy and cranky and PMSing. Plus, I have to be up for a noon doctor's appointment. SO you can imagine how tough it is for me.
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Old 08-07-2007, 10:38 PM   #294
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Next topic of the day:


When is trying to lose weight TOO obsessive?


I was just reading a thread-- a woman tells people that she fasts and one day doesn't eat until dinner. Another responds that she should stop doing extremes of LC and stop weighing obsessively and start just following the normal "slower" LC approach. At first I nod a little, understanding what she is trying to say.... and then I start really thinking about it.

I don't lose weight when I relax.

I NEED to be in that slightly obsessive state-of-mind in order to lose weight. Otherwise I have carbcreep, LC binges, high carb binges. I binge more when I'm trying to do induction than when I'm periodically fasting or eating very lowcal. It's only when I am "extreme"-- when I cut out all dairy, nuts, big salads....when I workout every day, eat leanER meats, or fast for a day or 2, when I skip meals unless I'm really hungry--- it's only these times that I am "on". That I really feel the high of LC and ketosis.

And even though I weigh myself 10 times a day during those times, I also feel really good because I know I'm getting somewhere. I think I NEED to be a little obsessed about it to stay on plan and really lose weight.



That kinda sucks. Debbie Downer #18 of the day. I wish I could drink diet sodas and pork rinds and ranch dressing and still be healthy and lose weight. But I can't.
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Old 08-08-2007, 09:50 PM   #295
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Originally Posted by Samantha42 View Post


I wish I could drink diet sodas and pork rinds and ranch dressing and still be healthy and lose weight. But I can't.
Yeah, me too! Welcome back to your journal! I read that you are going to medical school! Wow! Good for you Samatha. Are you going to be a doctor? What type? How's the bug infestation?
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Old 08-08-2007, 10:08 PM   #296
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Yeah, me too! Welcome back to your journal! I read that you are going to medical school! Wow! Good for you Samatha. Are you going to be a doctor? What type? How's the bug infestation?
The bug infestation is over. I mean, the bugs are still there. But in my mind, it's over. I did everything I could. I vacuumed, bleached, etc. Before I left, I vacuumed one more time and then raided the 2 rooms for a while before I closed the doors. Then I left my house to go back to my apartment in the city and ahhhhh everything has slowed down again.

The issues with my sister came to a nice head this evening. Screaming and tears. The perfect climax to my trip home. I feel sadly relieved to be out of there, which is a shame because I am obsessed with my family.


I may have had a PMS induced encounter with a dairy queen blizzard this evening. Miraculously, I didn't feel the highs or lows of the sugar. After I ate it I thought: Hmmmm I feel full and sick now. Then there was no after-binge. Maybe the metformin is starting to kick in.

Yes, Penny! I am going to be a doctor. I'm not sure what kind, though I'm leaning toward endocrine & metabolism... possibly bariatric med (not surgery, but just medicine of weight loss). I am just super hypocritical because I'm fat. I can't be a fat weight-loss doctor. It just ain't right.

I'm going away for the weekend-- to Michigan to see one of my close friends from college. We're also going to stop in Ann Arbor for a day to relive the good ol' college days, and she started mentioning all the places she wanted to eat. And you know what, I'm going to eat while I'm there.

I want to lose weight so badly that I would sacrifice many things in order to accomplish it. But I haven't been back to Ann Arbor since I graduated over 2 years ago, and I want to eat some of the things that I loved in college..... can't I have the 2am burrito one more time? Or am I just being ridiculous? Justifying eating carbs for the sake of memories?

When is it "ok" to go off plan, and when is it not ok?
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Old 08-09-2007, 06:15 PM   #297
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I can't be a fat weight-loss doctor. It just ain't right.


When is it "ok" to go off plan, and when is it not ok?

LOL Sam! Having struggled with your weight will give you the compassion and understanding that your patients will greatly appreciate and need. You will come to grips with your eating. There just seems to be a lot going on in your life that makes it harder especially when a person finds comfort in food. I know it relaxes me when I am stressed out. I'm trying to exercise more and it seems to be helping.

When you go off plan just use moderation. Don't throw it all out the window because then you'll feel worse when you get home. When I go out for a cocktail with my girlfriends they might drink the fancy martinis or some other sugar laden drink but I stick to a light beer or dt. soda and vodka. I still drink but I don't suck down those sugary ones and I stick to a two drink max. Anymore than that and I'm eating and drinking whatever I want! Then the next day I'm a very unhappy girl.

Have a great time in Ann Arbor. Reminiscing about the good ol' days is a blast! DH and I do it all the time since we met when we were teenagers! Didn't hook up for several years but we went to the same high school and he was my brothers buddy.

Anyhow, don't go crazy but have fun! As soon as you are headed home, get back on plan 100%!
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Old 08-14-2007, 11:43 AM   #298
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Penny- thanks! I just got back... and I'm back on plan (well, it's been about 3 hours and I haven't eaten yet, so technically, that's back on plan, right? )

I hope that my experiences with weight and dieting will make me a better physician in the future.




I saw this quote on another thread and I just wanted somewhere to copy and paste it:

Many people are operating in this mode because consuming sugar is scary as all get out to the body...a candy bar has so much sugar in it that if the body didn't go into rescue mode (fight/flight/freeze), we would keel over. So without any emotional trauma, they are self-inducing physical trauma repeatedly throughout the day, day after day. But when the systems of adaptation are almost exhausted and start failing, people think that it can't be their diets because they have eaten that way all of their lives and the symptoms just started. They feel like their body betrayed them and they "got" diabetes or any of hundreds of disease names given to physiological processes. Don't get me wrong, there are exceptions when infection, trauma, ect. causes a true illness/disease, but so many "diseases" are really just responses to stimuli. Change the stimuli, change the response, and change the disease.






I really liked it. That's all.
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Old 09-24-2007, 05:51 PM   #299
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I'm doing great. I really am. So for everytime that I have posted that I'm depressed and think I always have been, I KNOW that isn't true. I think when I'm PMSing or depressed it FEELS like it has always been that way and will always be that way. But that's absolutely not so!

I have been LC and in ketosis for MOST of the past 3 weeks, and I haven't cried at all. No wallowing in my sorrows and lamenting to friends and family. No thinking it's pointless and giving up and bingeing. Just sticking on plan (or getting right back on when I cheat a little), losing weight, exercising, and being all around positive.

Flag football and dance class are challenging for me (mentally AND physically) and they make me feel really good. I'm glad I'm being more social and outgoing and active all at the same time. My sleeping has improved, and I have lost about 6 pounds (I'm around 189 now). I have been losing weight despite not following induction (I have been eating natural PB, cashews, chicken salad with almonds, dark chocolate sometimes). I finally feel like a normal person. I feel like I can lose weight without being super strict. Maybe my metformin has finally started to kick in.

I have also been trying apple cider vinegar, and I'm not sure if this is even possible, but everyday that I have had AVC, I lose weight the next day. EVEN if I eat off plan!!!!! I keep thinking it's all in my head, so some days I'll skip it and it seems like I gain weight or maintain those days. I take about 3 tsp. of Bragg's ACV in 8 oz cold water and drink it within 5-10 minutes. It's supposed to be so great for your health!

I'm trying to set minigoals that seem more approachable... I am trying to be 186 by Monday. I'm really trying to be 160 by Thanksgiving.


This past weekend my Mom asked me if I had lost weight! So I said, yeah, a little. And she said, a little like 2 pounds? And I laughed. 2 pounds on me is nothing! So I'm like uhhh more like 5. And she said, Oh wow, that's fast.... but with LC, 5 pounds in 3 weeks isn't all that fast. It's funny because she thinks in terms of the LF, lowcal logic, where 1-2 lbs a week max is expected. Nevermind the initial water weight!

It made me feel so good! I probably won't go home until October 20thish and I would love love love to be in the 170s by then. I really want to shock her. She is always so proud of me and I feed off of it like a child. I just can't help it! I don't think I'll ever grow out of that feeling when I please my parents.
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Old 02-23-2008, 10:07 AM   #300
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Well guys--- with each passing day that I don't post on LCF I realize I get farther and farther away from you guys, and from reaching my goals. Don't get me wrong, I come here everyday-- I read what people are saying, and I always plan to post a response, then never get around to it. I'm officially lurking on my usual threads, on this board, and on my life!!!!

I have been doing some very stupid things which I know will lead to binge triggers-- eating my big salads w/ fancy chicken salad which is probably carbed up. I eat artichoke, sundried tomatoes, carrots, peas, peanuts, cashews, ranch dressing, a "bite" or two here and there of high carb food. But I fool myself into thinking it's okay and that "tomorrow" I'll get into deeper ketosis and avoid this food or that food and I'll lose the "water" weight that I'm "retaining".

WHO AM I KIDDING?!?!?!

I'm gaining weight. I'm gaining FAT. As of today-- royally carbed up-- after a night of tossing & turning, itching my skin to the point of making it SCAB, bad dreams, severe acid reflux (possibly borderline vomiting, gross, I know, I'm sorry!)--on top of all those awful physical effects and nevermind the awful mental effects,

I AM ALMOST BACK TO MY HIGHEST, FATTEST, most UNCOMFORTABLE and bloated weight off 200+ (possibly was 205) pounds. I was 198.8. I'm admitting it. I is fessing up

8 days ago I was 190 pounds. A month ago when I was 184 and on top of the world? Member that? Un-friggin-believable!!!!!!!!

In the past 2 weeks on 4 separate occasions I have eaten an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Last night would have made it 5 but I was too sick and full from the other stuff to finish it.

Like, what???? Are you kidding me?!?!?! What happened to my drive and motivation?! What happened to telling my Dad I was down 6 pounds already and feeling great (and now, I'm UP 8 pounds from my start)-- that's a 14 pound difference. For what? To feel sorry for myself.... to fool myself into thinking that tomorrow will be different despite the fact that I'm not trying to make it different?


I know I'm being so dramatic. I just FEEL like everything turns to sh$t when I eat poorly, and it all happens so quickly and so severely that it IS dramatic and a bit traumatizing. It's a huge jolt to my life, my relationships and my self esteem. It leads to awful sleep, exhaustion, isolation, dry skin, scratching of skin, dandruff, pale skin, foggy thinking, not fitting into my clothes, trying to hide my face all day, breakout pimples that I can't cover up, lookin wan and "sick", looking bloated as though I gained 15 pounds overnight, not wanting to see my best friends, not wanting to see my family, feeling despair and pessimistic, thinking I will never date, never get married, never have kids. It makes me feel like my life is pretty pointless, that I have no one who loves me, and that I'll never succeed at having the kind of life I want.


How ridiculous! All because of food! It's JUST food! Who cares how something tastes??


I am really sick of myself. I'm angry with myself. And I know beating myself up isn't going to help anything so instead this morning I:
--FORCED myself to weigh
--entered my weight on ****** (yes, that awful place which I have IGNORED all of FEBRUARY):blush:
--took all of my medicines (which I have been totally relaxed on and which can HELP me lose weight)
--took a natural "weight loss" supplement to help suppress my appetite (Bad, I know, but it's a whole foods, chromium blend thing with natural caffeine)
--had 3 cups of tea
--am distracting myself by being productive and doing work
--am sitting in front of my special "light" to get some serotonin flowing
--decided to go home tonight so I'm not alone or depressed, and so I can talk to my family. Also, so I can bring the carby food I still have home so they arent in my apartment taunting and tempting me.
--made a to-do list with things I plan to do this weekend & this week.
--am going to visit my grandma.


I need to change my life--- starting with my daily routines to more grand, daunting tasks. Dyeing my hair and joining match.com was just the tip of the iceberg. It's going to be slow, it's going to be hard, but I'm going to do it.

I promise you guys:
--there will be more positive days than negative days
-- I will post here more often.
--I will be honest about my struggles, gains, and achievements.
-- I will take mini-steps to becomming more confident in my real-life.
-- I will go back to my LCF journal which I haven't written in for months.

Match.com has been very fun. I love reading how people describe themselves. So far, I have gotten many emails and "winks" but I have found 1 person in particular and we have written massively long, very personal emails to eachother. It's exciting!

If I don't boost my confidence by getting into ketosis and losing the water weight/bloat etc, I know I'll never meet him in person. It will become another "when I lose 30 pounds... in 2 months... eventually" I'll do it. Which is ridiculous. The good thing is, he wants to really get to know me before we decide to meet. So this buys me *some* time. He seems very genuine, and it's a positive "first match.com" experience even if it doesn't work out. It's getting me used to playing the dating game, which I have never played before.

I have exams coming up in 2 weeks (I know, vomit, right?)-- from March 10th to the 19th... so I'm thinking that I should right now commit to meeting this guy sometime over my spring break (March 19th-the 30th). That is 3.5-5 weeks away. I know I won't be anywhere near my "feeling attractive" weight, but I can be SO much closer. And if he doesn't like me at that "closer" weight, then he doesn't like me period. Not my problem, it's his.


So that's my confession & novel. You guys can hold me to all of this I need tough love.
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