Lighten Up!

[Shantony]

Thanks Heather. I just went to bed and stayed there until noon. That's very unlike me. The whole time I dreamed of my mother (in my house) and her appearance changed from one way to another. She came and sat in my computer chair. My dad was here too and I kept saying "There's mom! There's mom!" but he wasn't giving me the reaction I was seeking. Like he couldn't see her or he didn't know what I was saying or he didn't care. Then the dream changed to my dad visiting me at another house which was my house and he had someone with him I didn't recognize but I let the person stay because he was with my dad. It wasn't my brother like I thought at first but someone who came after my brother. Then they left. I was confused because I was like who was that person?

I rarely dream about my mother. I don't know why. I've dreamed of her like 2-3 since she died 6 years ago. I don't know why I don't dream of her often. But I dreamed of her earlier today and it was the clearest I ever had. She was like right close to me. One image she had pink rollers in her hair. Then she changed and she had a ponytail in the back.

I don't know this day is just surreal. Like I keep thinking it's not true and I'm dreaming or something.

[Luvmykidz]

Originally Posted by greeniss

Shay, I too will be praying for you and your family. Everything that Heather said was true. Go to God and ask ask ask. Praying shows that you trust him. Don’t stop. If He has the power to create the world, love me and you despite our wickedness and save us from hell…then he can hear you and work in your father and brothers life.

I’m thankful to have found you ladies.

I think I’m going to change my siggy.

I changed mine several times before I settled on one that I felt satisfied with.

[Shantony]

Thanks Greeniss: I am going to pray too. I just feel upset with myself because I don't have like money put away for stuff like this. This is a life lesson.

[Luvmykidz]

Shay-I don't know what I would make of your dreams. In the Bible, God used dreams to talk to people. But He isn't all mystical and cryptic about His messages, like some of the New Age or old Oriental religions seem to be about. When God sends a message, I think He is not interested in playing 20 Questions with the person He sends it to.

It is possible it was just something that surfaced from your subconscious because of the stress of your situation.

On the other hand, it might be a good idea to just file away what you dreamed--especially since you seem to remember in such detail. I have had some dreams that I do believe either God or Satan was trying to get my attention. The reason I say either/or is because a couple of them were rather disturbing, but ended up being used to get me to run to Jesus. So, no matter the source-God worked it for my good----and His glory!

Is your husband a believer? You might share all this with him if you have not yet. Often, I take all kinds of stress and trouble on my own shoulders when I should not have. My DH, as head of his home is ultimately responsible to God for what happens under his roof. I am so thankful God has given me the covering of my husband, because he is the perfect compliment to my personality. Kind of fills in the blanks, so to speak.

I know hubbies are not always correct, and if mine were (for some unimaginable reason) to demand I do something contrary to God's law, then I would be personally responsible to ignore his wishes in favor of obedience to God's will. But, for the most part, when I ask him for his help, his input often makes my confusion clear up. God can speak through DH's, too!

Yes, I know I am a bit "old fashioned" about the roles of DH and DW. However, this is the way I understand Scripture. "Old Fashioned" is often the better fashioned way of doing things. Especially when the originator is God Himself.

[Shantony]

God speaks to me in dreams and things come to pass. It's happened several times. I have no doubts about it.

For example, three months before my mother died God told me to send my mother a Bible. I did. Because of my obedience I believe He gave me a dream. The dream that told me my mother was six months pregnant and she was going door to door with me to evangelize our family members. I lived in Japan at the time.

When I received the partial interpretation I was joyous because I knew my mother would be saved. She was pregnant with the word. However, I didn't know that she would die two weeks later. I flew back to the US and was there when my mother gave her life to Christ and she died two weeks later.

I know not all dreams are significant but I know the ones that are and to me they are in a another language. A symbolic language. (Sounds kooky I know but I know it's my gift and maybe I'm not describing it the best.)

My mother, her being in this house and not my parent's home, her changing appearance, my father's reaction, the flash to my hometown, the second house that was mine and the unknown person mean something and I have to figure it out.

I thank you so much for listening to me. When the interpretation comes I'll share it with you. May not be for a while but I'll let you know. My mother's full-interpretation didn't come for several weeks.

[greeniss]

Heather, please forgive me for using your weighloss journal to talk, but I can’t pm yet.

Call it “old fashioned”, but Heather is correct. According to the Bible, once a woman becomes married, you move from being under your parent’s submission (authority) to being under your husband’s. It’s not popular doctrine, but it’s still true. That doesn’t make the woman any less than the man. It is God’s plan of protection.

Believe me…I am speaking to myself as well. It’s a daily battle with my self-will.

[Luvmykidz]

I will keep praying for you.

[Shantony]

Me too heather. Sorry to talk in your journal. I can PM and I don't know why I didn't.

But I believe in what you said about husband and wife. But what if your husband is not spiritually where you are? Meaning he is not walking in the spirit. Saved but just hasn't come in as the spiritual head of the family. I share my dreams with him, he listens and offers his thoughts. I am "old fashioned" too about the family. I am waiting for him to stand up and be the man of God he once was. He just kinda got caught up in life.

You know how it is when you neglect your bible and forget to pray.

[Luvmykidz]

Originally Posted by Shantony

Me too heather. Sorry to talk in your journal. I can PM and I don't know why I didn't.

But I believe in what you said about husband and wife. But what if your husband is not spiritually where you are? Meaning he is not walking in the spirit. Saved but just hasn't come in as the spiritual head of the family. I share my dreams with him, he listens and offers his thoughts. I am "old fashioned" too about the family. I am waiting for him to stand up and be the man of God he once was. He just kinda got caught up in life.

You know how it is when you neglect your bible and forget to pray.

Do I ever!

I don't mind you contacting me this way as long as you don't mind the conversation being public.

I know it is really hard. I have personally seen how a wife felt she needed to be 'in church' and doing for the Lord when her husband did not feel that same urge. I don't know how to say this without sounding like I am lecturing you, so I will go ahead, and hope you understand that it is done out of love, and if you feel this does not apply to you, just figure that I am sharing a personal experience. The wife in the story is not me, but someone close to me, so I got to observe.

The wife really felt the need to step out and be spiritual in spite of her husband (who is also saved) not being interested. So, she went to church and took the kids without him. She was very involved as a song leader for about 3 years, and the kids were very active in the youth group,

One day he decided to start going, too. I do not know if this was his own thought, or she had been nagging (which is entirely possible, because he never really seemed to enjoy the experience), but he attended for a couple of years, became discouraged because he hated all the petty stuff that goes on in churches---Then the whole family quit going for several years.

To this day, 3 of the 4 kids (although all are believers) are totally not interested in meeting regularly with other believers. The couple, briefly decided together to try a different church, but quit again (together) 2 years later.

Also, during that time, I did not sense that the family was all that close to each other.

Looking back, I wonder if it was right for that woman to step out from under her husband's leadership in order to go to church. I think that for a woman to do this undermines her husbands role as head of his home. Often, it shows up in her attitude and their children as a lack of respect and support for him as such. He will eventually resent her for doing that and it will drive a wedge between them. That should never happen.

I think, God is perfectly capable of speaking to a man and directing him, and when the timing is right, He will turn the person's heart. Often, a well meaning wife (or mom) will try to push a loved one into doing the right thing. Sometimes it works on a superficial level. But if there is no heart change, it will just take that much longer for the person to come around.

I don't know your situation, so please do not think I am trying to tell you what to do....Just sharing my experience and thoughts.

[Shantony]

No I don't think that way. We are not like that. My DH isn't the spiritual head, I believe, because of fear. Fear of his calling. He is called. He has acknowledged that God has called him. Now I'm just waiting for him to stop running from God, and start running to God.

I don't nag him much. I'm trying be the patient wife.

[Luvmykidz]

Originally Posted by Shantony

No I don't think that way. We are not like that. My DH isn't the spiritual head, I believe, because of fear. Fear of his calling. He is called. He has acknowledged that God has called him. Now I'm just waiting for him to stop running from God, and start running to God.

I don't nag him much. I'm trying be the patient wife.

I will also pray for you in that area. It is hard to support a husband when you personally disagree with his decisions. Especially in front of the children. But, you can do whatever God asks of you! Love that man of yours, he ( and all husbands) has an unbelievably difficult job, and I don't blame them at all for being frightened by the weight of the responsibility.

A side note: Once, I was having difficulty dealing with one of my toddlers. At Bible study, I asked for prayer that I would have more patience. And was told--that is one thing you don't want to ask for if you don't really mean it; because the only way to get good at it is to practice! I have never forgotten that one. Obviously, God helps us to be patient when it is necessary, but I never ask for it any more, because I don't want my difficult situation to become even more so!

[Luvmykidz]

Okey-dokey. Made it through day two of 'clean the house' week. Still not really hungry. Plugged into FitDay finally, and it verified my calorie count. But according to it my diet is currently about 50% fat! Yikes. No wonder my appetite is being handled.

One more day of higher fat, very low carb, and then I will shift the ratio. I feel lighter today, so maybe this is actually working. I guess now that I have a week of menus, I could just use them as a basis for the next few weeks. At least each meal is already outlined and the nutrients are accounted for. Nothing fancy, that is for sure. Utilitarian Diner, that is my new name.

I don't want to eat like this forever, though. I do enjoy food and want to eventually add back some variety.

I got day 6 of t-tapp instructional done. It didn't kill nearly as bad. Got to remember to keep that bum tucked, though. Bad Doggie, tuck that tail!

I also added the putting organs in place exercise that is free on the site. It feels kind of weird pushing my guts around. But I do think it is working, because my lower abs seem less poochy, and my waist seems to be a bit thicker. I do hope it will shrink some, though, once everything is back where it belongs.

And I felt so good today that I had to hop on the elliptical for 10 minutes while waiting for dinner to cook. Nothing seriously strenuous. No resistance or anything. I just felt like doing something. I wonder if the sudden energy has anything to do with t-tapp? I will have to keep that in mind as I go. Probably a couple more days of instructional, and I will be able to tackle the regular workout. I think the instructions were a total of two weeks of doing it every day and then backing off to every other day in order to get results. Have to check that again.

[Luvmykidz]

I really do need to cut back on my internet time. Maybe I will practice self control tomorrow, and try to stay off. I know it won't kill me. Shoot we have only had internet for 3 years.
I am sure I survived fine before that.
I must have.
I am not dead.

[Luvmykidz]

Well, so much for self control. I just had to check up on things. But I think I really will stay off the computer today after this. It looks like it will be a nice day and I need to get my house deep cleaned. Spring cleaning is stretching on into summer, and I don't want to go all the way to fall cleaning without a break.

[Luvmykidz]

Nope, I'm back. What gives? Did I just trade food addiction for addiction to cyberspace? I will have to work on this.

Anyway. I did Day 7 T-tapp. Love it! Still need to work on form, but coordination is improved a LOT! I think I will start trying to figure out the hoe-down move now.

Sticking well to my revamped diet. I still can't believe I am eating 50% fat! That is just ---a lot. Well, it is between 65 and 100 grams a day. I probably ate that much (or more) before when I gorged on chocolate and ice cream along with the regular meals. I would hate to see what one of those days figured out to!

Sooo, time to go be a mommy, I see little britches found the crayon box and is working on a case of 'rainbow diaper' so I have to go be mean and take it away.

[Luvmykidz]

What is it with kids and sticking gross things into their mouths? After sampling the crayon buffet, the toddler found the dogs food and decided to have a second course.

In a roundabout way, that reminded me of something. Eating, I mean.

My mom has always been kind of a food hoarder. She doesn't sneak eat or anything like that. It is more like she buys stuff and refuses to use it so she will never run out.

When I was little I recall she would buy those big 2 pound blocks of cheese on sale. Presumably for her dinner menus. But the cheese never got used much. Partly because she was doing Weight Watchers and they only allowed miniscule amounts of fat in any of the recipes.

Anyway. Whenever I or a sibling would ask for a piece for a snack, or a second serving with lunch, the answer would usually be, "No, I am saving that. It is my staple cheese." We always teased her about that--the never diminishing chunk of staple cheese. It was apparently for display only.

A few days ago, my always hungry son asked if he could have a piece of some leftover food he found.

As I answered him, it seemed I heard a voice from my past saying "No, I am saving that. It is my staple leftovers."

Saving it for what, I wonder? It wasn't enough for a whole meal, anyway. And it isn't like he overeats and needs to have severe food restriction. And we have plenty of food. We arent poor by any stretch.

Sheesh. I guess I need to lighten up a bit. Food is supposed to be for eating, and just because I am not hungry doesn't mean that the kids or DH don't feel the need to eat.

[Luvmykidz]

Okay--Day 8 t-tapp out of the way. I can't believe I am still enjoying it! Actually looking forward to it.

And I can still feel that it stretches and works my muscles when I concentrate on my form. Still breathing hard and getting sweaty. YUK.

So, nothing much to post today.

Sneaked a peek at my weight and it appears that tightening up my diet is working. TOM is swiftly approaching. Glad I'm LC, I would otherwise have a huge pile of Dove milk chocolate wrappers sitting beside me right now.

I wonder how that affects water retention. Whether the bloat typically happens before, or during? I have always thought it was just a few days before, through to the end of the cycle. But it has been almost 2 years going without, and this will only be my second time since I got pregnant. That is weird. It is almost like I am starting all over again--I don't even remember what to expect.

Of course it is different for me while LC. No chocolate cravings. I haven't noticed much bloat except what can be expected in 100 degree weather..I did the breakout thing last week, and it wasn't all that bad. Just one or two spots. I have a huge amount of energy lately, and I remember I used to feel really draggy around this time. I don't even feel any more cranky than normal.

So, I guess in reality, I am starting all over.

[Luvmykidz]

Look Mom, I'm exercising! Day 9. And today wasn't so bad, either.

Tomorrow is a b-day party so we probably won't be home most of the day. I am debating whether to just get up extra early and do my workout before everyone is up--or just take a break. I don't feel like I really need a break. And I don't really want a break.

Historically, I do not get back into exercise when I take a break. But, then, I have never enjoyed it before, either. Maybe I will just relax tomorrow instead of try to work it in. The day will be busy enough.

I definitely feel a difference in my back. Maybe that is the spinal alignment that is supposed to happen. Also, my side muscles are feeling like they have been worked this past week. Not really painful, just a good ache.

Still doing well with my diet revamp. I am so glad I did, too! Now I have an aresenal of meals that are basically prefigured and ready to plug in wherever. I have no excuse now for not being successful in this. Hope I don't disappoint me.

[Luvmykidz]

Well, time to unload the baggage today.

Again, I let myself get sucked into a volatile thread where several posters seemed intent on being offended no matter what. I personally do not feel terribly attacked, but the entire tone of the thread was just not very nice.

There did not appear to be any real communication between the two sides. It just seemed like thrust---parry the entire time. People accusing other people of 'flaming' or being disrespectful of personal decisions. Very sensitive souls, those.

I can't say that I ever saw that the ones who disagreed with the OP were ever disrespectful, or mean spirited. Just adamant on their stance.

I find it very interesting that often when a person has made a decision (especially one that is not popular with a lot of people), and is sold on it as 'the one best way', they close their eyes and ears to those who would disagree. And they tend to play the victim when someone speaks against their ideas. And the ones who disagree, no matter how politely, always seem to be the ones who get beat up.

Hey, I understand doing things a little different. I am very much that way. Not everyone understands or appreciates me for who I am. But then, I do not need approval from other people. God is my judge, and He is the one I answer to. So, if I play by His rules, it does not matter if someone else calls 'foul'. Rule #1 Love God first and most. Rule #2 Love my neighbor as myself. Very simple and straightforward. Rule #2 is basically the old Golden Rule of Do unto others as I would have them do to me. I would not have someone lie to me, disrespect me as a person, or speak badly about me to others, so I try not to do it.

I think part of the problem with some of the threads is just that people do not want to be told they are (or might be) wrong. There is a sense of pride in being able to say "I have the answer" and it can really cut when someone comes along and says "Um, I don't think that is the answer".

Note to myself: Mind my own manners at ALL TIMES. Pay attention to who is posting to a thread and how they seem to be interacting with other posters. Don't get dragged into a debate. If someone is truly open to my opinion, it will be received with gratitude--even when they do not fully agree.

If the poster becomes defensive or seems to think I am being abusive, just back off. There is no reasoning with someone who is not even listening.

[Shantony]

When a thread smells like it's getting foul, I bail. We have that power. Just click and "unsubscribe". It's so liberating.

[Luvmykidz]

Originally Posted by Shantony

When a thread smells like it's getting foul, I bail. We have that power. Just click and "unsubscribe". It's so liberating.

Thanks for the input, Shay. I often have this 'crusader' mentality. You know, trying to save the world. Hoping to help others see all sides of an issue.

And, I tend to be very 'motherly' (some may read--pushy, bossy, meddling)toward other people. I always love to be helpful, and frequently forget some people DO NOT want to be helped!

Say, if you ever notice me getting argumentative on a thread, would you please PM me, and mention it? I would really appreciate the accountability, and it might help prevent me from embarrassing myself.

[Luvmykidz]

Well, I survived the weekend.
Actually, I enjoyed my weekend. I just could have made some wiser food choices.

So. Today I weigh in at 151

B-39.5
w 31.75
ab 36

I sure missed t-tap over the weekend and am ready to go again. My muscles have that "haven't been working and desperately need to" ache.

Glad I feel this way instead of "not again".

[Luvmykidz]

T-tapp done. I also jumped on the elliptical right afterward for 5 min, to make the most of my already increased heart rate.

I really would like to get up the ooomph to do the hoe down move. It really looks like a good one. Hmmmmmmm. Maybe I'll take a look at it a bit later and see if I can make my arms and legs cooperate.

[greeniss]

Yaaaayyy for Heather getting her T-tapp in today!

Glad to see you had a good weekend.

Thanks for reminding me to measure...will do tonight. Adios girlie!

[Shantony]

I gotta get my exercise in too, come to think of it.