Trick Mirrors and Crazy Slides - Funhouse78's Journal

[Funhouse78]

I've decided to start this to help keep me on track. Also it's a good place to vent and see my progress mentally and emotionally in addition to the physical changes. Weighed this morning and I am down to 227! That is my lowest weight in over a year! My first mini-goal is to get below 200, which would be the weight I was when I was 19.

Wed. Menu Plan
B - 1 cup LF Cottage Cheese, 1/4 cup blueberries

L- 6oz. Chicken w/Fajita Seasoning (Homemade), 1/4 sauteed onion, 4 thin strips sauteed green pepper (3 sprays PAM for cooking)

D: 5oz Baked Salmon (3 sprigs dill, 1 clove garlic, 1 teaspoon butter)
1/2 Large Zucchini, sliced and baked with salmon

S: If I'm hungry later, I'll either have 3oz grilled chicken or 1 egg

[Funhouse78]

Eating went exactly as planned yesterday, which was great. I am so glad I did not binge, especially after getting into it with my fiance last night. I didn't binge, but I didn't exercise either. Feeling sorry for myself had me on the couch watching reality tv instead of doing my workout. I suppose it's one step at a time. Even though we resolved the issue, stuff like that always brings me down for a few hours.

ETA: I'm also down to 226.0 today after weigh-in. Woo-hoo!

Thursday Menu:

B: 1 cup lf cottage cheese, 1/4 cup blueberries
L: 6 oz. Grilled Chicken Breast w/Soy Ginger Marinade, 2 cups mixed green salad w/ Lite Italian Dressing
D: 1 Chicken Sausage w/ Mustard, 1 cup mixed green salad w/Balsamic Vinegar

[Funhouse78]

TGIF! Woo-hoo!

It's been a good day so far. The weather is gorgeous and I got invited to go bowling on Saturday. I love reading the other journals on here. They are so inspiring. To read about someone who was were you are now and how they have stuck to it and are succeeding. It's wonderful.

Down to 225.0!! !! this morning.

My plan:

Already ate breakfast portion.
B: 1 sausage patty, 1 fried egg(in PAM), 1 oz slice cheddar cheese, 4 grapes

L: 2 cups green salad, 3oz tuna packet, 2 tbsp lite italian dressing

D: 2 cups green salad w/cilantro, 7oz chicken breast, 1/4 of a whole avocado, chopped. 2 tbsp spicy ranch dressing (I take ranch and add cayenne pepper).

S: (If I'm hungry) 1 oz string cheese or a couple bites of chicken breast

[Funhouse78]

Went out last night with friends and had a great time. Saw Nacho Libre, lol.
Had a sort-of cheat, didn't eat off plan, but ate until I was overfull. Darn chicken wings. Have not seen any problem on the scale yet and even went down this morning so hopefully I'll be ok.

Weight: 224.0

Menu:

B - Skipped (not hungry at all due to last night's huge meal)
L - Bunless Bacon Cheeseburger w/lettuce & pickles
D - 2 cups green lettuce, 1/2 cup artichoke hearts, 5 oz Chicken Breast, 2 tblsp. Lite Blue Cheese dressing

[Funhouse78]

It seems like I've been munching all day and I've got to stop that. I don't want to get into that mindless non-hunger eating pattern again, even of low carb foods. I'm going to try to be more mindful tomorrow and only do my allotted meals and snacks.
To keep me honest, here's an update of food intake for the day.

The above menu, plus: 1 slice salami
1 slice provolone cheese
2 black olives
4 walnuts
1 slice deli ham
1 oz. mozzarella w/basil leaf
3 pepperonis
3 marinated artichoke hearts

A lot of processed meats and a LOT of salt. I wonder if the salt thing is hormonal? I usually only get extreme salty cravings in PMS, not 3 weeks before. Hmm.. Seeing all of that listed out it is like a sledgehammer. Ugh..
I think I'm going to go drink a bottle of water to help process all that sodium.
Tomorrow is another day. Didn't focus well today and let the fridge have too much of my attention.

**edited for spelling

[Funhouse78]

Not using food to deal with negative emotions kinda sucks right now. I'm feeling really bored and sad. Really want to cram down donuts but I'm surfing the internet instead. I don't really have the stuff in the house to make anything all that tasty. I think I'm going to have tuna for dinner, but I just might skip it as I'm not hungry at all. Just grumpy. What does everybody else do when they get in funks like this? Why do I think having donuts or cake would make me feel any better? Rough day today.

B: 2oz slice of white meat turkey
L: 3oz chicken w/ 1 oz mozzarella, 1 cup romaine lettuce w/ 1 tblsp Lite Italian dressing
D: Tuna? Not sure yet.

[Funhouse78]

Well, I cheated last night. Up to 225.5 today too.
Cheated with pizza, 3 slices. Ugh. After I realized what I had done I threw the rest of it in the garbage and took it outside.
I feel terrible today, almost hung over. This is what happens when I let my fridge get almost empty. I resort to the easy choice, not the good one.
I popped to the store really quick this morning so at least I have todays food. Will go later tonight on the bigger trip. Gotta get back on track starting now.

B: 2 boiled eggs
L: Quick & Lazy Mock-sagna (2 chicken breast tenders, 1/4 cup tomato sauce, 1oz mozzarella cheese, 1oz ricotta cheese, 4 basil leaves.)
D: Taco Salad(5oz ground beef, 3 cups romaine, 1/2 cup salsa, sprinkle diced jalapeno's, 1 Tblsp Sour Cream)

[Funhouse78]

Yesterday went really well. I dropped the water bloat from the weekend cheat too, so I'm back to 224. I boiled a huge mess of eggs last night so I have plenty for breakfasts and snacks for the next couple of days.
I'm still waiting to get my T-Tapp DVD's though, and it's been over a week. I'm just getting impatient because I want to try it out.

Today's menu:

B:2 hard boiled eggs
L: 5oz Chicken breast w/ 1 tblsp. sour cream, 1 tbspn salsa, 2 cups romaine
D: 1 cup tuna salad(made with 1 tblsp. mayo & 1 chopped dill pickle), 1 cup spinach

Snack: 1 hard boiled egg

[Funhouse78]

Today's menu:

B:2 hard boiled eggs
L: 5oz Chicken breast w/ 1 tblsp. sour cream, 1 tbspn salsa, 2 cups romaine
D: 1 cup tuna salad(made with 1 tblsp. mayo & 1 chopped dill pickle), 1 cup spinach

Snack: 1 hard boiled egg

*Change dinner to: One Riceless Sushi Handroll with Spicy Tuna & Avocado

...*got asked to dinner.

Stayed on plan too, so I'm happy.

[Funhouse78]

Well, I am back after a long sabbatical. I have not gained (thank goodness), but I have only lost about 5-6 lbs in the last 3 months. I cheated and then had some good days, and then cheated some more, etc. This morning's weight was 219.5, so I still have plenty of lbs left to drop!

My ultimate goal for this journal is to look back on it when I am at goal and see how far I've come. Maybe when I'm at goal some other people will read it then too.

Time to step this into high gear again:

Meals for the day:
B: String Cheese, Coffee w/1Tbls cream & Splenda
L: 1 cup tuna salad with chopped celery
Sn: plain yogurt
D: Salmon w/ big romaine salad & vinegar

[Funhouse78]

Feeling pretty good today. TGIF!

B: Plain Yogurt w/ Da Vinci syrup
L: Tuna Salad w/ Pickles scooped on celery sticks
D: Probably Baked Chicken and broccoli
S: string cheese or smaller portion tuna salad

Starting Day 1 of the give up the diet soda challenge that was posted on the main board. I know diet soda makes me feel bad and can't be good for me so I'm giving it up. I have my big water bottle and I have already had 20 oz this morning so far.

I am looking forward to this weekend. Lots to do, but I finally am feeling better now that I'm not cheating with sugar all the time.

[LosingIt]

Funhouse~ glad to see your back on plan!! KUTGW~ you'll see 200 before you know it!!!

Stay strong against those diet cokes!

[summergirl]

Funhouse you are doing great!

I LOVE diet soda, I gave em up completely a few weeks backs but have added them back in occasionally. I am not addicted anymore and they are more like a treat now...

Keep up the great work!!

[Funhouse78]

Thanks for the kind words, you two.

I'm doing ok on the diet soda challenge. I slipped up a bit on Saturday and split one with my fiance, but was ok the rest of the weekend. If anything, I feel good about the fact that I've cut them way down. I used to have like 4 or 5 diet cokes every single day. Now it's pretty much just water and unsweetened tea for me and I feel a lot better.

I cannot wait for Christmas this year. I calculated and if I continue to stay on plan I can be in Onederland by the holidays! What a great present that would be. I would not even care if I got potholders again!

B: 1 fried egg, 1 sausage patty
L: Chicken Club Salad(2 cups greens, 6oz chicken, 2 strips bacon, 1 oz cheddar, 4 cherry tomatoes, 1 Tbls Ranch dressing)
D: Thinking about making cheese & broccoli stuffed chicken or a salmon filet w/ steamed broccoli (I see brocolli in my future either way )

[Funhouse78]

I fought off some horrible cravings last night. Really really wanted to overstuff myself with sushi or french fries. I am so happy because instead I tried on a pair of my too-tight jeans to remind me why I do this. Then I made some chicken fajita meat & green peppers and ate that instead. I guess there was no broccoli last night after all, despite my predictions.

I got invited to a costume party for halloween yesterday. I'm kind of stressing about it because I have no clue what to wear. I don't particularly want to default to the plus-size renaissance-looking costumes that seem to be everywhere if you are anything over a size 12. I also don't want something revealing or "sexy" , and those costumes seem to be all over the place too. Maybe I can do something with halloween makeup that will turn out nice.

B: Plain Yogurt w/ Davinci Raspberry syrup
L: Leftover chicken fajita meat & peppers
D: Salmon & broccoli

[Funhouse78]

Checked the scale this morning and I am down to 215.5!!! Woo-hoo!!!

I am working at my Thanksgiving challenge and I think I may just be able to be below 200 by Turkey Day! I plan to walk today after work so I will probably get in about 2 miles. Seeing that newest low number has me psyched up today.

B: Mushrooms, Jalapeno's & Tomato slices with a slice of cheddar melted on them
L: Leftover chicken fajita meat & green peppers
D: Green salad w/ shrimp and bleu cheese dressing

[Funhouse78]

Weighed in this morning at 214.5!! Yes! I love to be able to "dance" after a weigh in.

Got in 1.5 miles of walking yesterday and am happy I finally gave myself a kick in the pants to start up the exercise again.

On a personal note, it's amazing how now that I'm not sooo focused on food anymore I have been taking care of a lot of stuff in my personal life that should have been done long ago. Stuff like finally getting my living room clean, opening an IRA and setting a budget for myself, and taking the time to read a book I had been putting off. It actually makes me kind of sad too. When I think of how little energy I had 30lbs ago and how much of my day was taken up with thinking about food, it makes me want to cry.
I never want to feel like that again. I finally feel like I'm starting to live my life now.

B: 1 fried egg, 1 sausage patty
L: Tuna salad on cucumber slices
D: Sauteed chicken with green chiles and salsa, small green salad
Snack: 1 piece string cheese

[Funhouse78]

Well, I had a slight slip up last night. I was so busy I skipped dinner and then right before bed I was starving so I ate a South Beach Peanut Butter Bar. Not too terrible, but the package says it's 26 carbs, although 17 of those are from sugar alcohol and 4 from fiber. I really have been wanting to stay away from sugar alcohol though and I have been trying not to eat that close to bedtime. I am planning to wait until Sunday to weigh again so I can work it off and not get discouraged if the scale is up. Back on plan today. I brought my dinner to work just in case so I can't let myself skip it just because I'm working late.

B: 1 fried egg, 1 sausage patty w/1 slice cheddar cheese
L: Tuna salad, 1/2 of a medium cucumber
D: Green salad w/ sliced turkey, cilantro & bleu cheese dressing
Sn: 1 stick string cheese

[Funhouse78]

Have been doing ok. My loss has been kind of slow the last two weeks. I am sure it is because I have slacked off on my exercise. I need to get back into the habit of walking at lunch and when I get home. I am thinking about buying a cheap-ish manual treadmill to have at my apartment because going outside is what seems to be the hassle. Especially now that it's getting colder out. I have workout videos, but sometimes I just want to put on loud music or a movie and walk without having to keep up with any choreography. My loss for this month has still been about 10 lbs, I guess I'm just impatient. Still need to exercise though, I don't want to get lazy simply because it's no longer summer.

[Funhouse78]

Work is stressing me out today. I'm indulging in a diet Snapple peach tea right now and it's helping. I want to walk at lunch again today but it looks like it may rain. I'm wishing for clear skies so I can get out of the building and walk this stress off.

B: 1 slice mozzarella (rushed, just grabbed something)
L: 2 cups mixed greens, chopped up 2 slices roast beef, 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms, oil & vinegar dressing
D: Probably will go to Baja Fresh and get the "Side by Side", chicken and salad meal.
Sn: A few small pieces roast chicken.

[Funhouse78]

Well, here I am sitting in this limbo of 211-213lbs. I have been up and down and up and down for the past 2-3 weeks. This needs to end. I have decided to start exercising again, which I had been putting off because of laziness. Tonight I am going to clean the living room and drag my exercise mat in there and do a video. I'm thinking of starting the Slim in 6 rotation. I have done the videos before, but never the 6 week plan they lay out. I'll do Start it Up tonight. Will crank up the stereo though, because those things have boring music. Hopefully after 6 weeks I'll be on my way to looking fit and lean.

[Valentine Baby]

My ultimate goal for this journal is to look back on it when I am at goal and see how far I've come. Maybe when I'm at goal some other people will read it then too.

Now why would we wait til your at goal to read your journal?

I just got caught up with your journal and I think you're doing pretty good. I know losing slowly and getting stuck can be very frustrating. I've been stuck between 170 and 160 since Feb.06. I remember when I use to say that if I could just get to 160 I'd be happy. Not! I know why I don't lose below 160 and I'm working on it but it's hard. Losing weight is the hardest and most time consuming thing I've ever done.

Just keep chuggin' away and you'll get there. Don't expect instant gratification. It will only make you crazy. You're doing a great job! KUTGW

[Funhouse78]

Man, it's been a long time. Too long.
In between last year and now, I have:

Moved
Gotten Married
Changed jobs

And unfortunately gained back about 15 lbs of what I had lost.

Thankfully I have kept it to only that much and am ready to get back on track. I really reassessed my attitude from last time and I am not putting any rush on taking this weight off. Only exercise and right eating can keep me on track to where I want to be.

I have been doing well on the exercise the last 2 weeks, 5 times a week for 40 minutes each on the treadmill. And it's getting easier.
I am slowly working my way back into better eating habits.

Here's looking foward to finishing this journey. And it is a journey, not a race.
I just need to remember that.