Seal's Second Journey

[Seal]

Between March of 2002 and February 2004 I dropped from a high of 226.5 to a low of 125 on this wonderful WOE (many thanks to all of you old-timers and newbies).

Naturally all kinds of changes followed. My husband left me once I was around 130. I met and dated a man who probably never would have considered me at 226.5 (or even at an overweight point). He asked me to marry him and we've been together for almost 2 years. I'm not making that point as a negative judgement about him; I could have had the best personality on the planet and had I weighed 226.5 I never would have had the confidence in myself to consider that he would see me as anything other than a friend. And lets face it, men have been shaped by evolution to find a youthful appearance appealing and I appeared anything but...I'm just so happy I lost the weight and looked good when we met.

So, My Dear Husband LOVES food and LOVES to cook. He even has a database of his Gourmet Magazine recipes. The house is well stocked, he keeps the grocery situation updated. All is good on that front. He has changed his WOE to an extent being around me. Generally for dinner we have a meat or fish dish and veggie or salad. Sometimes he makes himself a carby side dish and sometimes not. Since getting onto OWL, my weight has fluctuated up to 144 lbs. Chocolate and Ice Cream are my weaknesses. And I've never met a cookie I didn't like. We took up skiing and I've been pretty lose re diet when we've been on vacation and gotten back on the bandwagon when not.

Through a concerted effort this spring-very close to induction level eating with a few nuts I've gotten my weight down some. Right now I'm 132.

So, I'm starting a journal because I've got a new goal. It might seem weird when I'm at a normal BMI to be dieting again, but I'm not too happy about how "broad in the beam" I seem to be. By that I mean, although I might fit in a 6, my hips, thighs, (and upper arms) seem to be much flabbier and spread out than I want. My legs are improving but still have a somewhat cottage cheesish appearance.

My job is highly sedentary job and my commute hellish (100 miles rt per day) so exercising's not been happening. After plugging some numbers into a body fat percentage calculator, low and behold it said my body fat's between 24 and 26%. While this is acceptable for health, I don't think that its really optimal.

Ideally I'd like to put on muscle but that's not going to happen right now with the job and everything else. So my goal is to eat cleanly and try through diet to reduce my body fat percentage. When I have a chance I will add crunches, wall sits, push ups, stairs and when driving butt clenches.

A return to 125 will likely produce the desired effect but there's always a carb bounce back (even then I don't plan to add in many carbs but a strawberry now and then might be nice).

Here's My Plan:

1. Keep portions moderate. When I lost the first time I could pretty much eat all the prime rib I wanted. Now I realize that even with a metabolic advantage, if I want to be a 120 lb girl, I'm going to have to eat like one. So, two sausage patties for breakfast are being replaced with one. I'm having more chicken, shrimp, and fish and smaller sizes when I do eat red meat. Nut consumption when a snack is really needed is limited to one ounce. Rather than a big hunk of cheese, I'm cutting it back to a slice 50% smaller.

2. Weighing daily. Sometimes its tempting not to face another day of the scale going nowhere and it does move slowly at this stage in the game, but accountability is key.

3. Keeping this journal.

4. Taking my vitamins and ESPECIALLY my calcium.

5. Eating meals and snacks to avoid getting too hungry with protein at every one

6. Ignoring comments made by other people. Last time, once I got down to the 120s, everyone and their dog started to say I needed to stop losing. Actually, everyone who knew me when I was fat made comments. Nobody who just was meeting me for the first time said a thing. And the truth was I was unhappy because my chest seemed too flat (at the same time my hips seemed disproportionately large). Since then two discoveries have made me reconsider whether 120s are healthy for me. First of all, most of the people in my family are very thin. Pictures of my father from high school show that he was a total stick. He had a long thin face and as I lose weight my face slims down first. The rest of me needs a chance to catch up to my face. It may be a shock to people who knew me fat for all those years but it seems more healthy to have my thin face back and a body that matches rather than have a small head on a slightly big body. Second, all the women in my family have small chests. I just found out a close female relative got implants at age 60 because she was sick of being flat chested her whole life. Genetically I think I'm supposed to be flatter than I am. And, I bought some of those bra inserts and nobody can tell when I have them in that they aren't the real deal. They make me look fine under clothes that need filling out. SO my plan is to go ahead and lose to what I feel comfortable and wear the inserts as needed.

So, back to the comments. I realize that people are concerned and people worry that someone will take a diet too far and turn into an anorexic or bulimic. However, the reality is that there is a range of normal and a BMI on the low side of normal does not an anorexic make.

For anyone who's curious
People with anorexia refuse to maintain a normal bodyweight as evidenced by being 15% under what is expected)
And People with anorexia fear becoming fat even when underweight (and since I won't be underweight, I won't qualify that way)
And they lose their periods (usually you have to have a body fat percentage of 12% or less to do that.)

I'm not going anywhere near there.

So, I'm sure I'll be getting comments from the well meaning and I'm sure they'll wrankle me. The reason for my irritability is I went through my entire life with a mother who obsessed over what I ate and if I ate enough of the right things. Once I became overweight she obsessed over everything I ate and food became a battleground. We even once got in a fight over me consuming a pickle and we both knew darn well, pickles aren't exactly ring dings. In the scale of better and worse choices a pickle is probably close to the most innocuous food on the planet unless you're salt sensitive. So comments about my weight imply I don't look good and feel like criticism and feel like the other person thinks I'm an idiot, even though I'm aware most comments are made out of concern.

Anyway I pledge to ignore the comments! And I think I'll chronicle them here as well as my responses since that's something many other people on these boards have gotten annoyed with too.

Yesterday my old boss said "Stop losing weight." I said I've just been working out alot. Not exactly true in the traditional sense but I had been working in the garden all weekend carrying around huge bags of mulch and what not. She doesn't need my long complex explanations but its important to her to act like she's my mother so if reassurance is what she needs, reassurance is what she gets.

On the topic of comments, for me I don't really know what to say. I don't want to be mean even though I am hurt. I do feel like its an invasion. And I've always struggled with assertiveness. What I'd like to say is "you're concerned I'll become anorexic. However, I'd have to lose more than 30 pounds to qualify." Its acknowleging them but also educating them. But then I feel like they shouldn't even be commenting. So what I'd really like to say is "I appreciate that you may be concerned and you can rest easily that I'd have to lose more than 30 more pounds to qualify as anorexic, but I need to let you know that your comments on my appearance feel like criticism and seem to imply that I don't look good or can't control my own body and in the future it would be best if we didn't speak about this again." Wouldn't that just be something?

OK, so here's a few motivational things I'd like to post.

I have a goal of quitting my evil job and opening a weight loss oriented behavioral treatment center (my degree's in psychology). I feel like I'll be more credible as a diet and habit change queen, guru, maven, sage or whatever, if I have a lower percentage of body fat. Since a weight lifting program isn't in the cards at the moment due to lack of free time, reducing the fat is the only option. Last night at dinner our waitress asked if I was reducing my carbs and I told her of my success. She is still very much in love with carbs and said she needed the glucose for her brain. I encouraged her none-the-less. Anyway, I'm sure I could be credible at a BMI of 23 but for once in my life being percieved as slim would both enhance my credibility and make me feel more empowered about sharing the good news of low carb and protein and other habit change messages. Afterall if a person's goal in their heart of hearts is not to be "averge weight but to be thin, it would probably be more motivating to have someone who got actually thin, tell them it can be done rather than someone who only got to be average weight. And I do think average weight is a fine reasonable goal but I also think that its ok for different people to want different things for their body and we should be able to choose whether we want to be a size 10 or 2 or run 1 mile or 25 miles or bench press 50 pounds or 500 pounds and as long as we preserve our health, nobody should feel bad about the goals they pick.

Also, I've been gathering all the research articles I can find on different aspects of weight and diet. One thing I found is that lower BMIs are related to career success and earnings for women. I knew already that a BMI of 20-22 was considered most attractive by men, and that obesity was associated with lower earnings but I didn't realize that a BMI of 20 is most highly associated with net worth in women. This is true even when accounting for marriage. So, I'm not just doing this for my health but also for my bottom line. And I know this is true from personal experience. I got promoted AFTER I lost weight. I am in a much more visible job right now because the higher-ups think I look professional. Its annoying but its the way of the world.

Another reason to keep up the plan. It stands to reason if muscle stays the same and body fat decreases, my energy will go up because my bod won't have to work as hard at everything. (of course somehow I'll need to find a way to challenge the old bod in order to hang onto the muscle I've got.) Hopefully the big job change can be made soon and the workouts can be stepped up before the muscle/fat ratio changes again.

Also, ketosis rules. I think it was one of Michael Eades blogs that pointed out that when one's gone low-carb and then returns to carbing, a certain amount of adaptation has gone on such that insulin is even less our friend than before. This means that one may actually be doing damage by having sweets or carbs in appreciable amounts because low-carb adapted body experiences a "normal" carb diet as something like a glucose binge. Staying very steady with the low carb approach, especially while I can't fit in much exercise is probably the best thing to do for my veins, brain, and everything else.

So here's the vanity line. All ski season I felt frumpy. Not a good way to feel especially in a size 8 but I promised myself I could by a new outfit once I was in smaller sizes. Frumpy is not just an appearance thing. Its a strength thing too. Getting rid of 7-8 pounds of body fat will mean I can get up faster when I fall and hopefully not have to struggle so much when I ski. I expect to have both better balance, agility, flexibility, and better speed control since my muscles will be carrying less excess proportionately and since gravity will have less to pull down the hill. Plus, when I'm resting in the lodge more people will talk to me which always makes the whole thing funner.

Also, lately all the size B panty hose seems chronically sold out. Being in size A will mean not having to search hi and low. I expect more bargains too as frequently there are more smaller sizes on sales racks. And speaking of money, eating less costs less which translates into more savings. If it sounds like I'm obsessed with money I must tell you that it pretty much broke my bank account when my weight climbed into the stratosphere between the junk food habit, the eating out, the buying new clothes etc... Not to mention Every penny I can save toward my business I'll take. And I'm not sure anyone has talked about this but when I'm smaller people give me free things. I kid you not. Nothing major but like at Panera the other day I asked for coffee and this guy gave me a cup and I went to pay and he said to put my money away. Who am I to turn down the cute girl discount (within reason)?

Finally, there's something to be said for being appreciably smaller than one's guy. And than men in general. DH is starting to comment on the sizes of my portions and my response has been "I'm a girl dear. I shouldn't be eating as much as you." While I won't be eating diet portions forever, eating smaller portions than a 180 lb man seems not unreasonable.

So there's some of my reason for cleaning up my act with this woe.

Thanks to any and all who read this. Best of luck to all who struggle with temptation.

Original Stats
March 2002: 226.5
February 2004: 125
Current stats May 11, 2006
Height 5'4-5'5
132 + 24-26% bf
Goal 120 (+/-5) & 20-23% bf

Seal

[Seal]

So, Menu-wise here's the day 1 report

Last night we had chinese food. I got shrimp and vegetables. I highly recommend this dish as chinese food goes. Ten medium shrimp, some kind of white sauce -who knows-probably some corn starch in there and some MSG-oh well and I requested they omit all the carbies and just had broccoli, pea pods, and cauliflower. Not too bad for chinese food.
didn't eat the cookie or the rice. I did drink an insane amount of tea. It was raining and I was cold. One of the only drawbacks to this woe is the lack of insulation. So tea is both a diuretic and a sure-fire bladder buster if you drink 1/2 a pot which I did.

My horoscope said "Despair is criminal." WTH? Last time it said, "You have many options. Just work harder." Obviously I am ignoring that one since I laid in bed for two hours this morning trying to convince myself to go back to sleep but couldn't because I sucked down so much tea and had to go to the bathroom. During this process I breifly contemplated running on the driveway for a couple laps (its gravel and 1000 feet long) but decided instead to make a concerted effort to take the stairs today every chance I got-2 at a time. Not a terrible thigh workout really. Also did 10 girlie pushups and some crunches this am. You do what you can...But the whole working harder thing's not really for me.

So, speaking of caffiene...

So today's food-good calorically, bad nutritionally. Oh well.
I just recently discovered coffee. It is my new favorite food group. I know, I know caffiene bad. Etc... Well when you haven't had chocolate for months fresh coffee tastes alot like chocolate.

Had an iced coffee with half and half and one pink sweetener for breakfast. (yum). Oh and 2 calcium, magnesium vitamin D whole food supplements.
A double cheeseburger sans bun for lunch from McDonalds (yes I know I'm going to He77 for eating there, but I was in a hurry owing to doing errands over lunch and at least it was cheap)
More iced coffee with half and half back in the office (left my diet coke in the car like an idiot)
Diet coke and one ounce of peanuts (at last real food) for drive home snack (I drive 50 miles -need fortification). And CVS carbadvantage vitamin pill (with more Biotin-yay!)

Dinner is to be grilled shrimp wrapped in bacon and salad. I am bad during the day but my salads are always very crammed with good things. Red peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers-a highly under used veggie in my book. NO Dressing unless DH makes fresh with balsamic and walnut oil. DH planted tomato plants and cucumber seeds this weekend. Soon we shall be innundated and I will come to fear them.

Exercise report:
Yesterday on the way home I did isometric arm exercises with a stack of books that was in the passenger chair. Its difficult to lift a stack of books with one's left hand while crammed into a frugal ghetto-sled so if you see a woman with one giant arm and one scrawny one, that'll be me. Lobster girl.
Not sure if I'll post over the weekend.

Weight report: 132 still but expecting a whoosh due to TOM.

All for now. Seal

[Seal]

FYI, when I said Caffiene bad, I didn't mean it. I gave it up and the diet soda's everything for about 1 year. Now there's ton's of research out there
such as that reported by
van Dam RM. Coffee and type 2 diabetes: from beans to beta-cells.
Nutr Metab Cardiovasc Dis. 2006 Jan;16(1):69-77. Epub 2005 Dec 13.

suggesting caffiene and or coffee may actually be helpful. May actually have anti-obesity effects.

I like this one especially
Westerterp-Plantenga MS, Lejeune MP, Kovacs EM. Body weight loss and weight maintenance in relation to habitual caffeine intake and green tea supplementation. Obes Res. 2005 Jul;13(7):1195-204.

which says "High caffeine intake was associated with weight loss through thermogenesis and fat oxidation and with suppressed leptin in women. In habitual low caffeine consumers, the green tea-caffeine mixture improved WM, partly through thermogenesis and fat oxidation."

And there's this one
Hu G, Jousilahti P, Peltonen M, Bidel S, Tuomilehto Joint association of coffee consumption and other factors to the risk of type 2 diabetes: a prospective study in Finland.
Int J Obes (Lond). 2006 Apr 25;

which says, "Among obese and inactive people, coffee drinking of seven cups or more daily reduced the risk of type 2 diabetes to half.Conclusions:Coffee drinking was associated with a reduced risk of type 2 diabetes in both men and women, and this association was observed regardless of the levels of physical activity, BMI and alcohol consumption" .

So, take all this for whatever its worth. I am going to continue my newfound friendship with the bean.

Seal

[Seal]

Well yesterday's weigh in put me at 130. Consistency truly is key. Plus I am sure I was a bit dehydrated due to all the yard work. But still, yard work=Vitamin D. Vitamin D=better calcium absorbtion. Better calcium absorbtion=less weight gain. And even though I haven't done real aerobics in months (due to extra home responsibilities because of an injured DH) the digging in the garden seems to be quite the upper body workout. I noticed playing with the dog yesterday I was able to swing her around on her pull toy much better after 3 weekends of doing nothing but digging holes. She weighs 30 pounds so that's a fairly big improvement.

Had 2 handfuls of popcorn at the movies with DH. Very happy about that level of self restraint. Tasted it but didn't go wild and didn't use it as an excuse to eat other bad things.

Next stop, 120s. I'm fairly sure this will take a few weeks but I'm ok with a slow loss.

[Seal]

Forgot was going to post weekend menus

Friday night-shrimp wrapped in bacon with pepper cheese inside grilled and salad.

Saturday AM-Coffee w/ creme -ad nauseum-no idea how much-cremes all used up. and Tuna w/ 1/2 mayo, 1/2 walnut oil (my cute attempt to have less saturated fat but still not have dry tuna) Yes Tuna, its not just for breakfast anymore. Ok, maybe it is.
Saturday PM Swordfish (8 ounces?) asparagus-10 spears. Surely I will die of mercury poisoning soon. Oh well.
Sat PM late-coffee /w half and half at bookstore (to stay up for movie). Two handfuls of DH's popcorn at movie.

Exercise-major digging and hauling of dirt in the garden. Estimate-2 hours

Sunday-Coffee w/ half and half-3 glasses of iced-not sure how much half and half-breakfast sausage-patties, homemade- probably 4 for breakfast and then 3 for lunch. Dinner=salad and 1/4 ribeye

Evening snack-peanuts (took medication on empty stomach-needed something) and 1 small slice cheese)

Exercise-more major digging and hauling dirt and plants around nursery. Ran dogs at flyball and walked them out-no idea what to call this, moved agility equipment.

Monday am: Breakfast 1/4 ribeye, 3 handfuls peanuts. 1 20 ounce bottle Diet coke
Iced coffee in office w/half and half
Lunch Ceasar w/chicken, sans 80% of the lettuce (huge portions at Cheesecake factory), iced tea
Iced coffee again w/half and half

exercise-walked at mall about 20 minutes (go me, first actual aerobics for days) Taking the stairs-2x so far today.

About a million trips to the bathroom-maybe that's the metabolic advantage of caffiene!

[Seal]

So I've been sucking down Aleve like there's no tomorrow for TOM so I don't end up having hotflashes on the bathroom floor. Don't ask me why that happens to me-well I know why-nasty things those prostaglandins-body kicks them into overdrive when TOM starts. Once in high school TOM started during an English exam and my teacher thought I was faking. When I turned white and threw up on the way to the nurses office she realized either I was destined for the theater or it was for real.

So consequently I didn't weigh today. And I started the am with yogurt (calcium seems to help alot) followed by some left over salmon from last night.

Last night's dinner was pan sauteed salmon w/melted butter and dill and pan sauteed spinach in olive oil with garlic and roasted pine nuts (A divine combo). Probably won't weigh tomorrow either-need to let the aleve and TOM work their way out of my body. Hopefully I'll see 120s after that.

Seal
226.5/130/120

[Seal]

Braved the scale today. Still 130. V. happy about that since expected slight gain from the Aleve-fest. Now maybe I'll get a whoosh tomorrow?

Last night I SOOOO wanted to cheat and had 1/2 cup yogurt before bed. I think my calcium gets wacky with TOM and then the cravings start-Ice cream is what I really wanted or if not that a handful of chocolate chippies. But I was resolute.

So yesterdays' menu-yogurt w/Splenda for breakfast and @3 ounces of salmon
Coffee w/half and half and sweet & low
Lunch-McDonald's cheeseburger sans bun and condiments & diet coke
Dinner-4 shrimp and 1 giant scallop, stir fried arugula w/garlic & asparagus w/shaved parmasean, 15 almonds (We went out to dinner)
Supplements-1000 mg fish oil, 2000 mg calcium, 30 mg zinc-can't remember if I took a multi so going to take one w/coffee now.

Breakfast this am- @ 8 ounces of leftover salmon (trying a bigger breakfast experiment to see if it helps be less hungry at night)

Speaking of coffee gotta run get some.

Seal
226.5/130/120

[Seal]

So yesterday we had ribs with some carby sauce on them and a nice salad. No idea what exactly as DH made them. I started wiping the sauce off when he said, "Yum I can taste the brown sugar in the sauce." Argg! After dinner I was hungry. Not sure if it was the sauce bringing me out of Ketosis or just too few cals over the day. Ribs are on the menu for tonight and I will probably eat them just to appease DH. But I did end up splurging and having a handful of chocolate chips. Not the worse thing in the world. It was small (1/8 cup at most) but disappointing in a way because I feel that I need to stay away from the chocolate as it just leads to bad things.

This am weighed 130 still...

So far today have had 1 sausage patty & large diet from McD's (evil and yet convenient), Chicken salad from the cafeteria (a staple) and iced coffee w/ half and half.

Walked the driveway yesterday with DH and weeded the garden some. We do what we can.

Seal

[bellatango]

I absolutely loved reading your journal - I hope it's okay that I posted to it. Your first post was wonderful - I'll re-read it several times, I'm sure. I wanted to thank you again for your support in my journal - it really meant a lot to me and helped me stick with it, and not blow nearly 5 months of hard work. Thanks again

[Seal]

Thanks for reading BellaT! Not a problem that you posted. I hope it was helpful.

So yesterday we had the ribs again. Despite wiping off all sauce I awoke at 131. Whatever! Probably revenge of the chocolate chips from yesterday.

I am making ice cream this weekend too. Bad Seal! I will probably make flavors I don't like that much so as to avoid eating too much. And I'm taking it to a club meeting as a reward for our hard working members. We do actually run alot at these meetings so hopefully this little planned cheat will be mitigated by the exercise. I don't like to cook that much but I've gotten really good at making ice cream which is slightly difficult to do actually-the custard making part is at least. Plus I have a cheap supply of very fresh eggs and want to see if its really better with the fresh ones. This way I have an excuse to make several different flavors at once. Before L-C I never understood the concept of bringing food in to work or giving it away so I don't feel like I must eat it all. Thank you Dr. Atkins, God etc... for this WOE.

2 sausage slices at McD's and large diet for breakfast. More later.

Seal

[Seal]

I just re-read my first journal entry and realized I had 2 sausage patties for breakfast today instead of one and I'm about to make ice cream. Yikes! This is no way to reach my objective! So I contacted DH and asked him NOT to buy Hazelnuts since if he doesn't buy them I won't be tempted at all by the hazelnut chocolate gelato I'd been planning.

He wants cinamon I think I can pass that by. And vanilla will totally disgust me since the eggs are really yellow. That's the new plan.

[wisnowbird]

Originally Posted by Seal

And, I bought some of those bra inserts and nobody can tell when I have them in that they aren't the real deal. They make me look fine under clothes that need filling out. SO my plan is to go ahead and lose to what I feel comfortable and wear the inserts as needed.

Gotta love the chicken cutlets!! I will most likely be bringing mine back out again this summer, too.

BTW, your dog is a total cutie pie. I just love dogs with long silky ears.

[Seal]

Thanks snowbird. Yes chicken cutlets! Don't need them yet but am only ounces away.
Thanks for the compliments on the pooch. I have 2 more just like him.

OK lunch report: Salmon .25 ounces. They don't call me Seal for nothing.

[Seal]

True the only time I saw it was Saturday morning but I know its in there, hidden beneath the water retained from Saturday night's chocolate souffle. We went out to dinner at an amazing restaurant and dessert was included so I indulged. It'll take a good three days to banish the water but overall the eating was relatively clean this weekend. I did make Ice cream for our little club meeting but only had about 1/4 cup and gave the rest away and was proud that I chose to make cinnamon which I can turn down, not Chocolate which would have had me indulging like a mad woman. So there you go.

Of course the scale said 131.5 this am but I'm confident that when ketosis returns all will be fine. My pants are loose as hell. And I worked in the garden for about 5 hours on Sunday completely replanting the front beds and I moved a rose bush that wasn't getting enough sun. What a pain. So, it all could have been alot worse. Oh and we took the dogs to our club meeting and I ran a whole bunch of little sprints with them plus walked them alot. Here's the weekend food rundown:

Saturday
Breakfast
1/2 omelette w/3 eggs, cherry toms, peppers, jack cheese
Coffee w/cream
lunch-???-can't remember-maybe some peanuts
dinner-asparagus w/gruyere cheese and ham
fish in butter sauce w/garlic and tomatos (prawns, scallops, lobster)
souffle (chocolate)
chocolate truffle

Sun Am
Breakfast
bacon
Lunch
Peanuts (sm. handful)
Dinner last night
Salad w/no dressing-lettuce, walnuts, cherry toms, peppers, cucs. & 3/4 strip bacon
Prime rib
dessert-1/4 cup ice cream
post-dessert-1/2 ounce cheese

In retrospect, quite the decadent weekend. But we hadn't been out to dinner like that in forever. And I suppose if you look at the kinds of foods I eat it looks worse than it is. For example on Sunday my overall protein levels were no worse than during the week. And I am making different choices than I used to. Like getting the fish instead of the chateaubriand.

So this am:
Cheese-1 ounce.
Fresca
Coffee w/milk and half and half (ran out of half and half so had to use some milk).

I figure I've got the week to be strict and occassionally on the weekend I can indulge. Not too profound but better than beating myself up which is what alot of people do when the break a food rule. I prefer to think of them as food guidelines...

Seal
226.5/129/120 or so

[Seal]

1/3 chicken breast for lunch and bought some new running shoes at DSW. Walked for 20 minutes (Better than nothing!). Took calcium, zinc, fish oil in morning. Took multi-vitamin with lunch.

DH informs me leftover prime rib for dinner. Yum.
Seal

[Seal]

Progress-back to 130.5 with one day of clean eating. We'll see what two days brings. Walked at lunch again. Go me. But I'm sure I won't keep this up as soon as it gets hot. Too much darn work to change clothes, shlep clothes, deal with hair etc... Hopefully this nice weather will hold out a while longer at least until DH starts back to the gym; when we both go I don't feel guilty about leaving him behind and feel like we're doing something together.

Oh, and to make matters very clear-I am not exercising to help myself lose weight.
I pretty much feel its futile to try and induce a calorie deficit via exercise. I just can't spend that much time at it or do it at high enough intensity. DH manages to do the elliptical machine, AKA the torture devise at high speed/resistance for 1 hour and it claims he burns 800 cals. I do the same thing as hard as I can (not very hard) and burn a whopping 300 cals. And my feet hurt.

Why am I exercising?
1. To get into the habit for maintenance-people who maintain losses tend to exercise the equivalent of walking 4 miles per day
2. Because it helps my mood and my mood could use some help (I spent 2 hours in traffic this am-I need a mood boost badly!)
3. Because I look better when I'm more toned
4. Because I don't want my metabolism to turn off.
5. Because when I go skiing at high altitudes, having an aerobic base means I don't wear out so fast carrying my skis around and just walking here and there.

So I'm proud I've got my shoes at my desk and ready to go.

So foodwise-last night had a salad w/greens, walnuts, toms, cucs no dressing, and slice of prime rib.

Breakfast-small (2 ounces) peice of left over prime rib.
Lunch coffee w/ 1/2 and 1/2 and chicken salad.
Dinner-same as last night-maybe some tuna since I already ate some of the prime rib.

[Seal]

So dinner I had the tuna for dinner and let DH have the prime rib. Plus I had the same old salad. Oh and I ate 2 ounces of peanuts-meant only to have one but got engrossed in work and ate the whole bag. So today I'm still not back to 129. Oh well. Yesterday's commute really upset me and I was thinking maybe cortisol had something to do with it.

Then I looked in fitday and it looks like I had too much protein. So no movement on the scale's not surprising. I'm still adjusting to this "little people eat small portions of protein" concept. 15 gram of protein in the peanuts and 43 in the tuna and 30 in the chicken salad and 15 in my prime rib morsel for breakfast brought me well over 100 grams. I probably need more like 65. That'll do it.

So no peanuts today. AND I plan to really watch the lunch and dinner portions.

Seal
2265./129/120s

[Seal]

So I can really really claim 129 today (129.5 at least).

This morning I was smiling about it and wearing my cute size 6 pants (they're loose!) and DH says "hey do you have some kind of butt smoothing underwear on? Cause your butt looks smaller."

To which I said, "Nope I'm wearing my skinny thong." And I showed him the one I meant. Then he was truly impressed, "Wow. You're wearing the butt floss and your butt looks that small?" Of course I had to come back with, so if it looks smaller now does that mean it was big before? Poor DH, he can't win.

Then I told him it only took me 4 days to get back to my Saturday weight after my Saturday night and Sunday pm indiscressions. To which he said "I think you're entitled to a half a cup of ice cream without having to pay for it." Ain't that the truth! I feel entitled but the reality is that the reason I didn't cheat for 23 months the first time I did the WOE was because I knew I would pay. Psychologically its hard to spend 4 days making up for one day. My guess is I won't see any loss this week at all. Not that I'm complaining since I'm just happy to be back in the 120s. But as you get closer to goal and weight loss slows down as it inevitably does, it becomes more important than ever to stay the course.

I once read this article by this skinny woman who was pissed because she was so good all the time and other people thought her weight maintenance was effortless but in reality she was ALWAYS good. She ALWAYS got the fruit instead of the Death By Chocolate. That's pretty much what it takes to be uber-tiny and I just don't know how the movie stars and models stand it but I guess the pay off is huge so they just get used to it. Anyway, I'm not shooting for uber-tiny and I know that eventually I'll be able to have a 1/2 a scoop of ice cream once a month and not pay for it (maybe in water gain but not fat gain) once I'm back in the land of maintenance-but it seems smart to remember that right now I'm in a losing phase and need to be hypervigilant.

So yesterday I forgot to eat lunch which almost never happens as I'm such a creature of habit. I had a giant iced coffee w/ half & half at the bookstore over lunch and got home around 4:30 and realized I never ate real food. So I had 2 slices of cheddar cheese and then we went out for Chinese food around 5:30. I got the shrimp w/veggies and had them only include brocolli, cauliflower, and pea pods. Its my new signature dish. Shrimp a la Seal. And magically the scale said 129.5 this morning. Yippee.

DH is an engineer and he told me technically I needed to round up. I wanted to tell him, I think we've figured out the reason why engineers have trouble finding women. But I love him so I just said he was bad and let it go.

So one thing I've noticed is that getting control over the protein really seems to be key in maintaining my loss. I hope I'm not losing muscle in the process. I don't think I am (or not much anyway) since I definately had these big fat deposits on my backside and they've gone down a bit and I've been doing push ups and running a smidge and doing all that darn gardening so at least some muscle is getting used which should help maintain it plus I almost always get more protein than I need. But anyway, when I plugged yesterday's menu into fitday I also saw that Shrimp are incredibly low in calories. Who knew????? I have no idea what was in the sauce -probably some broth and oil and some thickener but I think my total cals yesterday were probably still coming in under 1000 because the 10 shrimp-and that's pretty good in my mind for a restaurant to actually give a person 10 shrimp-have only 82 calories. Go figure. DH is going to love going out with me when all I order is shrimp. But I guess there's a reason for their name. The big irony is that when I was growing up the only time we ever had shrimp was Christmas eve. It was a big family tradition to serve cold boiled shrimp all you could eat. I never ate it-sometimes I even went hungry. It totally grossed me out. Everyone thought I was totally weird. Turns out I didn't like the fishyness of grocery store bought shrimp in the 1980s-not the freshest thing in the world, and I didn't like the spices in the shrimp boil. Now its my new favorite food. AND of all fish they have the lowest levels of mercury. So SEAL will be eating more Shrimp in the future!!!!!

Have a fantastic day everyone!
Seal
226.5/129.5/120 + or - 5 and 20-23% body fat

[Seal]

Got a request to speak about my weight loss today. This was nice since I have a goal of opening a weight loss business and its an opportunity to practice my public speaking skills. Its also a bit weird-how do you boil down a year of behavior into 10 minutes? I have another obligation then anyway so can't do it.
So forgot to post my menu:

piece of Cheddar cheese for breakfast and 1 sausage patty mcds
lunch, cottage cheese-about 2/3rds cup and iced coffee w/ half and half.

See you later alligators
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[Seal]

So had a piece of string cheese before the gym last night. This is the first time I've gone in 2 months because DH broke his ankle skiing and I felt bad about leaving him in the evenings and was just too overwhelmed to fit it in my schedule.
So, restarted couch to 5 k with 5 min warm up, 1 minute of running and 2 mins of walking interspersed and 5 minute cool down. Only went 1.9 miles doing that so walked for another 5 minutes.

DH made shrimp (7 large) asparagus (7 pieces) and we grilled cherry toms (4).

This AM again 129.5 Seems things are firmly in this range for now. Maybe a drop over weekend if I can stay resolute.

DH bought strawberries yesterday which I refused. I could tell he was disappointed but I'd really like to get rid of some of this fat on my hips and Strawberries although not as bad as some things will not get me where I want to be. So, I'm going to suggest we take them to a Memorial Day picnic we'll be attending and then I'm just going to not eat them.

Breakfast- chunk of cheddar cheese.

Seal

[Seal]

Chicken salad for lunch. Coffee w/ half and half and milk (ran out of 1/2 & 1/2).
Walked for thirty minutes around the mall. And didn't buy anything! Go me.
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[Seal]

Well I lived to tell about Memorial day weekend and the biggest transgressions were a few strawberries and 2 water crackers with alloutte cheese on them. Not bad considering we went to a picnic and there was strawberry shortcake and copious amounts of alcohol-alcohol's not ever the problem but shortcake might have been.

On Saturday Am I was down to 128.5. Whoohoo! Unfortunately I didn't see that number again. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday were consistently 130. I have faith it will show back up. I'd been having 1/2 cup of yogurt w/Splenda in the pm-I ran out of calcium and thought that would have negligible impact. Guess