The turning point

[Bel Canto]

I'm used to blogging on the internet with Myspace and Livejournal currently claiming my life, but I never thought blogging on a diet website would be something I'd do. My therapist suggested it in order for me to create a support group and reflect. So here we go!

I've been overweight most of my life. Considering that I'm only 19...this it might not sound like a big deal. But trust me, going through middle school and high school being fat is not picnic. I was ridiculed and harassed. Ultimately I ended up gaining weight until I was about 275 my senior year of high school. I went to orientation at the university I'd be attending that fall and was embarassed when I couldn't fit comfortably in the lecture hall chairs. I made a vow to myself to lose enough weight to fit comfortably in the chair. And I did. I started atkins with a passion. Combining the induction phase with some cardio every day, I got myself down to 238. Then I went off to college...

To make a long story short, I blew up again and ended up weighing 250. After New Year's...I was resolved to get to 200. I got myself down to 228. But somewhere I dropped the ball again and am currently at 247. I guess what's the most frustrating is that I don't look like I weigh as much as I do. When people try to guess my weight, they guess 200 pounds or something like that. They're 50 pounds off! I'm grateful for this, but honestly it's still troublesome when the scale reads back such an offensive number.

I'm on low-carb for good now. I'm sticking to the 20g a day for a while until I feel I have enough control over my cravings to increase the food I eat. See I have a nightime-binging disorder...especially for carbs. So I'm afraid to let myself have too much.

My weight loss goals and rewards are as follows:
235 4 gauge ear rings
230 20-min tanning session
220 colored contacts
210 eyebrow piercing
205 labret piercing
200 nipple piercing

What I think is really interesting is that my therapist and I have devised little incentives for me to reach my goal date. We set a goal date for me to achieve my weight loss, usually 2 or 3 weeks, then if I hit my target, I get the rewards. But if I don't hit the target, the equivalent price of the reward gets donated to a charity or I use the money to buy a gift for someone. Considering that exotic piercings run about $65...it really is strong motivation!!!

Anyways I'll keep everyone posted as to how it all goes. Feel free to e-mail me at Actorguy0330@aol.com if you wanna chat

thanks for reading.