Colo Alex - Finding 'me' Journey

[monet0329]

what a great feeling that must have been Alex.. ... awesome.. just keep doing what your doing.. you will get there..

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by monet0329

what a great feeling that must have been Alex.. ... awesome.. just keep doing what your doing.. you will get there..

Thanks Monet.

[Colo Alex]

August 28, 2007

Still not there! Ugggh! I really wanted to see the 190’s today. I thought I would! I did drop some weight but not enough. I was down just a half-pound today so still above 200. I have to say that I am more than a little disappointed. I’ll get over it. I don’t know why I am obsessing over this so much. I think that once I get past it I will be better able to focus on other things and to get even more serious about getting to goal and not just under 200 pounds.

I hiked at lunch yesterday and ate very clean. I’m doing everything right so I will get there, it is just a matter of time. I’m not giving in, and I’m going to stay focused.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 200.6
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

August 29, 2007

Made it! Finally! Today the scale said 199.6 pounds. I am so relieved. It has seemed really hard to get over that obstacle. I don’t know what the deal is with 200 but I’m on the other side now and it feels great. I’m not going to get too excited until I’m there for a few days. I’d like to get some distance away from 200 before I’m too comfortable. Now I can start to concentrate on the 180’s. That is the next big goal.

Yesterday and today have been really stressful and full of frustration. I have not cheated and will not cheat. That is the only way for me to be successful. I am trying to stay completely on plan and keep my exercise level high. If I do, I should be able to reach my goal weight of 185 in a few months. Then I will reevaluate things and decide if I need to lose more or what. I know I need to get into better shape.

The longer I do this the more I know that this is mostly if not totally mental. When I am successful at losing weight it is when my state of mind is firm and confident. I must remain in control and not ever give in to any temptations. I know that it just leads to bad behavior and binges. I’m not saying I won’t ever relax and enjoy life, but that I will need to be cautious and mindful my entire life. None of the junk food that I’ve eaten in my life tastes better or was more satisfying than the way I feel now. That is what I need to hold on to. Stay positive and don’t give up. Some temptations are coming up soon. My birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas; I’ve got to stay strong and make it through this season. I know I can do it.

I ordered some long sleeve shirts for work the other day and all of them will be size Large. That was cool considering the first ones I ever ordered were XXXL. I’ve come a long way and I still have a ways to go, but it doesn’t seem hopeless any more, it seems very doable. I haven’t been under 200 pounds since I was 21 years old. Now as I approach 43 I am in better shape and much happier. I am ready for the next phase in this journey…Goal weight and maintaining.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 199.6
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

This is awesome.. .. see my big toothy smile.. I am happy for ya Alex.. woot woot..

ok I will calm down hehe.. yuo should be proud though and you Will get closer to180.....

oh sorry.. I just had to dance a little more..lolll

see ya tomorrow with another loss..

have a great evening..

[Colo Alex]

Thanks Monet. Now I just need to get some more space between me and 200. Love to see that "1"

[Colo Alex]

August 30, 2007

Thursday. So far so good. I was down another pound overnight. I doubt it will stay, it usually goes up again when I have several days in a row of drops. As long as I stay under 200 I’ll be happy for the week. I would really like to get some distance between me and the 200 mark.

Hiked 3.6 at lunch and eating was really clean yesterday. Wife was heating up some sort of store bought BBQ beef. I looked at the label and it said 11 carbs per serving. Not a big deal, then the serving size was a quarter-cup. I’m sure I would have had about 8 servings worth. So I had two chicken/apple brats instead. They were good, low carb, and I felt like I made a smart decision. I’m just not going to eat any junk, no matter what form it is in.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 198.6
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

on the other pound.. lets hope it stays gone hehe..

Chicken apple brats huh.. I have never heard of these.. where do you buy them? I would be interested in trying them

have a great Friday!!

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by monet0329

on the other pound.. lets hope it stays gone hehe..

Chicken apple brats huh.. I have never heard of these.. where do you buy them? I would be interested in trying them

have a great Friday!!

They are great. We get them from Safeway. Not sure of the brand. mmMMMM! Low carb and only 160 calories each.

[Colo Alex]

August 31, 2007

Friday. Last day of my company’s fiscal year. Not too much stress, just tying up some loose ends. My weight loss is cruising right now. I have been eating very clean and exercising every day. Yesterday I did the normal 3.6-mile hike at lunch and dinner was grilled halibut. A little spicy rub and on the grill for a bit. It was very tasty. A little cauliflower for a side and some fresh peaches for dessert.

The scale was nice again this morning taking another pound. I’m now at 197.4 pounds. That means I have lost almost 47 pounds since January and almost 100 pounds from my heaviest. I simply can’t believe it. I have caught myself in a mirror lately and when I look at myself from the side I look like a totally different person. I still feel I have 20 pounds or so to go, but I am really glad I’ve stuck it out and have kicked it up a couple of notches this month. August has been really good. Now all I have to do is keep this up and I’ll be in the 180’s before I know it.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 197.4
Goal weight: 185

[Mack]

Hello there, Bud.
Just seeing your journal for first time AND noticing you are a 100 lb. loser to boot!
Way to go.
Clicked your 'my journey' from Charlie.
See you over there....

-mack

[Colo Alex]

Hey Mack!

Nice of you to drop in. I had a great 7 mile hike this morning. Eating has been clean. It's all good!

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

They are great. We get them from Safeway. Not sure of the brand. mmMMMM! Low carb and only 160 calories each.

.. I don't think we have a safeway.. at least not to my knowledge..
I will have to look that up on this here box.lol

awesome for another pound down my friend..

this new month will get you in the 180's for sure !!!

have a great night..

[monet0329]

Morning...... Hope your long weekend went well..

[Colo Alex]

Morning Monet. Had a good weekend with my family. Even managed to rest up some. Feel great today. Hope all is well with you.

[Colo Alex]

September 4, 2007

Tuesday. Well I made it through the long Labor Day weekend without any problems. Saturday morning I went for a 7-mile hike and ate clean all day. I Grilled Halibut for dinner. Sunday, we got up early and drove to Denver to see a musical. Had a Salmon Caesar Salad for lunch before the show. Drove back later in the day and got home around 8:30. Skipped dinner because I did not want to eat that late and just was not really hungry anymore. Monday was spent mostly resting. I cleaned out my closet and got rid of a lot of old clothes that did not fit anymore. Took the good stuff to the Goodwill and took my daughter to shop for a Homecoming dress. Should have been my wife doing this, but she wanted to garden and clean the bathroom. I enjoyed it and she picked out a very pretty dress. I can’t believe how grown up she has become. It kills me.
Dinner last night was pork roast and cauliflower and peaches for dessert. Today the scale was up a little to 197.8 but I’m not worried. I tend to eat too much when we have the pork roast and I never drink enough water on the weekends. So three days of not enough water and eating a little too much here and there did not hurt me too badly. In fact, I’m pretty happy with how I did over this long weekend. It is a good sign of how in control I am right now. Today I’m back at work, back drinking lots of water and I’ll hike at lunch.

Life is good.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 197.8
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

September 5, 2007

Wednesday. Another big milestone today. This morning I am at 197 pounds exactly so that means I have lost 100 pounds since I started. It has taken much longer than I had expected or planned, however, I did it and I have learned so much about myself and food and health in the process.

It is really a two edged sword however. On one hand I am really happy about losing 100 pounds. On the other, I can’t believe I was so big that I had over 100 pounds to lose. 100 pounds of spirit crushing, debilitating, humiliating, unbearable weight. I am truly a different person now and I’m not even near my potential. I still have a long way to go, but I know now that I can get there.

I have 12 pounds to go till I reach my goal weight of 185. I know that I will lower that goal once I get there. I am still not happy with the way I look. I still have a gut, and too much flab on my chest and stomach. I know I need to lose more fat. But I also know that I can do it.

Here is a little recap.

At 297 pounds I wore XXXL shirts. Now I wear L.
At 297 pounds I wore size 44 Jeans (low on my hips). Now I wear 34. (actually around my waist!)
At 297 I had a BMI of 40.3 or Morbidly Obese. Today it is 26.7 or Moderately Overweight. In 13 pounds it will be Normal.
At 297 pounds I was out of breath just tying my shoes. Now I hike 3.6 miles every day and 7 on Saturday. I’ve averaged 25 miles a week for the last month.
At 297 pounds I was trapped. Now I can do anything I want.

I have freed myself from a self-imposed prison. I have lengthened my life. I have discovered who I am and I am changing into the person I have always wanted to be.
I have removed a huge barrier from my life. Self-consciousness is slowly being replaced with confidence and hope for the future.

When I started this journal I wanted to record the ups and downs of getting healthy. I wanted to discover who I really was. I am still on this journey of finding me. The big difference is when I look in the mirror I like who is looking back at me.

Life is good, very good.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 197.0
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

September 7, 2007

Friday. Yesterday was a very busy day at work. We had our annual customer appreciation night. We cooked over 800 hamburgers and 400 hotdogs for our customers. Had a live band and a big sale. It was a great event. I got home after 9pm and I was tired but it was a good tired.

I have hiked every day this week and have eaten very clean. My weight has been fluctuating from 197 to 198 this week for no reason other than it just seems to do that after a good week or two of losses. It will stabilize and then start dropping again if I continue to eat clean and keep on the exercise.

I have set a new goal for myself. I want to climb a fourteener; One of Colorado’s 14,000+ foot mountains. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to try it this year or not. Because the weather changes so quickly in the fall but if I can make an attempt in the next week or two I should be able to beat the snow. Next week I will go to some higher elevation and do a 10-mile hike at around 11,000 feet to see how I do at that altitude. If I do OK, then I’ll try a 14er.

For now I’ll just keep fighting and staying on plan.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 198.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Just wanted to say..

[Colo Alex]

September 10, 2007

Monday. It feels like a Monday. For some reason I’m feeling down today. The weekend was not great. I went for a hike on Saturday with my wife like the last two Saturdays. Something was wrong with my wife. She said she felt tired on the drive to the trailhead. We started hiking and I noticed she was moving pretty slowly. At first I thought I was just going too fast. Then after I slowed down a lot she still could not keep up. I kept waiting and asking if she was ok, and she would say she was fine. I got really frustrated during the hike because we were going so slowly. It was a relatively easy hike and was shorter (5-miles) than normal. We averaged only 2 miles per hour. I did not have a good time and was angry and upset for a good portion. When it was over she said she felt sick. I don’t know what is going on. I wish she would have told me before hand and stayed home if she was sick. I got nothing out of the hike. I don’t even think I broke a sweat. At this point I’m not sure she even wanted to hike or was sick or what. The bigger issue is that we were planning to hike Crag Crest (a 10-mile trail at 11,000 feet) this Wednesday. Then, if we did ok on that hike we were going to attempt our first 14er. Well, the bottom line is that I have been hiking all year and really hitting it hard this summer. I am in decent shape, certainly not as good as I ultimately want to be in but much better than before. I am just now feeling confident enough to hike the Crag Crest trail and am excited about hiking the 14er. I’m not excited about my wife getting up there and getting sick or not being able to make it. I don’t think she is in good enough shape to make these hikes. She has not changed her ways of eating and is still pretty overweight and out of shape. I don’t want to hurt her feelings and I don’t want to go without her, but I really want to do this and I only have a small window of time to hike the 14er before the weather makes it impossible. I don’t know what to do.

Eating was pretty good this weekend. I did eat more carbs and calories than normal, but my body was feeling really empty and hungry so I had a re-feed day. I didn’t lose any weight the last week but that is ok. I will hit it hard again this week and try to get my excitement back.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 198.0
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

September 11, 2007

Tuesday. Well, the 10-mile mountain hike is still on for tomorrow. I have mixed emotions about it. I really want to make the hike but I’m worried about my wife’s ability to make it with me. She is determined to do it so I am not going to stand in her way. I would rather her be happy and to give it a try. I will match her pace and go slow. I want her to be successful. The weather should be perfect for a beautiful hike.

Eating was pretty good yesterday and I did my hike at lunch. However, my weight is still holding at 198. It is starting to get frustrating but I will hold on until this little plateau passes. It is not unusual and I have been through them before. It is just hard to deal with while going through it.

Work has been very stressful lately and I know that affects my weight loss. My body does not lose weight when it is stressed. I’m hoping the 10-mile hike tomorrow really clears out the stress.

I can’t shake the blues from yesterday and today. I really need to.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 198.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Good choice..

I was a little upset with you yesterday.. so I wanted to wait to see what you decided to do.. before I made my comment..lol..

I am glad you want her to succeed .. thats great.. maybe this last mishap got her to thinking that she needs to work out more.. so she can keep up with you and not hold you back?.. I am sure she feels bad enough about that.. I would..but she is trying and wants to share this time with you..this is great that you two can do this together.. so my suggestion is.. take it slow for now.. for HER.. then when she gets better.. she will be able to step it up for YOU.. it's all give and take in a marriage as I am sure you know..

I know how you must feel.. how you have worked hard to get where you are.. but just being there for her..she appreciates it.. continue to support her....

your a good man Alex..

don't hate me for my comments.. they are just opinions.. you know.. from a womens point of view.. hehe..try not to feel bad.. and please.. work on that stress.. BREATH...deep...nothing is worth stress.. if you can fix it.. fix it.. if you can't.. let it go.. don't brew on it.. we all know how bad stress is on someone..

ok I am done... remember.. I care..

[Colo Alex]

Hey Monet.

I wondered if/when you would chime in on this. There is another thread on this that I started yesterday and I'm afraid it is making me even more confused.
I appreciate your advise and opinion. This is a tough thing for me, as it is pulling me. I really don't want to hurt my wife. Please tell me how you feel, I really value your opinion.

Thanks

[Colo Alex]

September 13, 2007

Thursday. I’m in a much better mood today. Yesterday my wife and I hiked the 10-mile Crag Crest trail on the Grand Mesa. It was fantastic. The views were unbelievable and the weather was perfect. Bev did a great job to keep up with me and I kept a nice slow pace so we stayed together the entire time. We are now trying to decide what the next big hike will be. Probably Handies Peak. I hope we can get it in before the snow starts flying u