Colo Alex - Finding 'me' Journey

[DarbyAz]

Congrats Alex- keep up the good work. Sometimes you can just get in a rut - and a little adjustment is all you need. Sounds like you got it!

[Colo Alex]

August 6, 2007

Where to start? Looking at my last post I was doing so well, then the bottom fell out. My stress levels hit some new highs. Home, work, you name it. I was dealing with the water damage in our bedroom, and then we had another water problem in the kid’s bathroom that caused damage in our family room. So, I’ve dealt with the Insurance Company, Adjusters, Contractors, Cleaners, Painters and all the junk that goes with them for two separate projects. Work has been especially tough and nothing has been going very smoothly.

I’ve used all of this as an excuse to eat poorly. I fought it for so long and now I feel like I just gave up. I didn’t just overeat, I ate bad things. I ate them knowingly and willingly. I don’t know why I was not able to control it. I ate fast food, and junk food, and candy, Ice cream etc. It was an extended binge. Meals at home have been poor as well. I’ve got to put my foot down and tell my wife to stop buying and fixing bad food. I’ve got to put my foot down and tell my SELF to stop it.

What is the result of this? I feel terrible. I’ve gained weight. I am uncomfortable. I have constant headaches. I feel under the weather all the time. I am in a bad mood most of the time. I don’t have the energy I should, and the cravings for the bad food just get stronger the more of it I eat. I don’t sleep well, my back hurts and I feel depressed.

I was shocked to see 216.6 on the scale this morning. Disgusted. I feel like a failure. I’ve got to get under control!!!

Today, I feel like I can get back on track. I think it has run its course and I’m ready to start over. I just can’t believe that I have to start again. What is wrong with me?? I wish I could answer that. When I am not in control of my eating I do not feel in control of the other parts of my life as well. Out of control is out of control. It is all of my life not just eating.

So, now here I am again. It is time to reevaluate, regroup, and restart. Hopefully the difference this time is that I am able to stop the slide before too much damage is done.

One day, one hour, one minute and one second at a time. I have to keep fighting. I guess there won’t be a time when it is easy. I will always fight this.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 216.6
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

August 7, 2007

Tuesday. I feel better today. My back is still hurting for whatever reason, but overall I feel pretty good. I took a 3-mile hike at lunch yesterday and eating was very clean. I did skip breakfast yesterday, something I do not normally do, but I was still full and uncomfortable from my binge the previous day.

My weight is down 3 pounds today. Starting to see the big drops of all the excess water and salt. I have been drinking a lot of water and hope to see more pounds drop.

I really need to stick this out. I want to schedule a physical after my birthday next month and I would really like to be less than 200 pounds by then. I also need to get back into the garage and resume my weight lifting. I can’t believe how far I let myself slide. I guess the only positive thing is that I have caught this slide before it went too far. In the past it would have been a climb back up to a much higher number and then I would have let it go until January. Like that month is the only one that I can start!! I’m sick of the excuses and the yo-yo pattern. I plan on beating this. Or at least, continuing the fight. I don’t think I will ever truly beat the addiction. I just want to get to a point where I can manage it better.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 213.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

................................... .... that is all..

[Colo Alex]

August 8, 2007

Wednesday. Feeling even better today. My knees and back are still bothering me, but not as bad. I hiked 3.6 miles yesterday. The new trail I am on is uphill almost the entire way so I get a pretty good workout. It is a little far, but I decided to just take a little extra time at lunch. I am the boss after all and it is for a good cause, my health.

My weight was down 3.4 pounds today. All of that excess water and junk is really moving out now. I’m sure it will bottom out soon and any more loss I will have to work for. That is OK because I’m ready to work.

I did not have to deal with any temptations or cravings all day yesterday until after dinner. We had Turkey and Cauliflower for dinner and some strawberries after. I had plenty, but I was still really hungry after. I ended up eating some ham. I didn’t cheat, but I probably ate too much. It frustrates me that I can feel so hungry at night. I guess I need to eat something around 3:00 to help curb that nighttime hunger. Also, I should try some exercise after dinner.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 209.6
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

August 10, 2007

Friday! I’m still seeing the weight come off, it is just slowing down. It looks like I did gain some weight during my binge. The excess water etc has come off and now I’m to normal fat. It’s disappointing but I’ll just keep at it and the rest will come off soon enough.

I’ve really been enjoying my hikes at lunch. I get in some good exercise and get to burn up some aggravation and stress from work. The trail I’ve been taking lately is uphill most of the 1.8 miles to the turn around and some of the places are pretty steep. I feel I’m getting a decent workout in that 3.6 miles as my legs get a pretty good burn and my lungs and heart are definitely working at an increased pace.

The temptations and cravings have not been as bad the last two days. The weekend starts tomorrow and that is where I generally blow it. Not this time. I’m ready to fight through all of the temptations.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 208.2
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Morning Alex.. ..

you can get through this weekend.. I have faith in ya buddy..

no cheat!!.. your doing great !!.. smile.. your back on track..
have a wonderful day!

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by monet0329

Morning Alex.. ..

you can get through this weekend.. I have faith in ya buddy..

no cheat!!.. your doing great !!.. smile.. your back on track..
have a wonderful day!

Monet,
Thank you! That really helped me this weekend. I did it! No cheats! Back on track.

[Colo Alex]

August 13, 2007

Monday. Ok, so I feel much better and in control. I had a good week and, more importantly, a good weekend. No Cheats!! I’ve had 7 days of eating on plan and some really good exercise. It’s good to see progress. Last Mondays 216 is now this Mondays 205. I’m still heavier than I was before vacation but I’m doing really well and should be knocking on the door to the 100’s soon. I’ve got just over a month to my 43rd birthday. I can’t think of a better gift than to be under 200. So, I’m going to do it!!!

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 205.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

well early.. because I just KNOW you will get that Birthday present !..

Keep it up Alex !!!

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by monet0329

well early.. because I just KNOW you will get that Birthday present !..

Keep it up Alex !!!

Thanks Monet. I'm sure going to try like crazy!

[Colo Alex]

August 14, 2007

Tuesday. I ate too much at dinner last night and my weight was up this morning. I’ve got to quit doing that. It just sets me back.

It has been really stressful at work today and I’m feeling really aggravated. I’ve decided that aggravation or hostile emotions are one of my main binge/cheat triggers. I am having a really hard time right now. I want to eat the cookies and candy that are lying around our office. I’m not going to do it, but the temptation is really strong.

I was so aggravated that at lunch I hike for 5.5 miles. I really needed to burn off some anger. It helped. I’m still fighting the urge to cheat but I know I will win.

I need to make sure I don’t overeat tonight. Maybe right after dinner I’ll go for a walk or something. Just get out of the house.

Must keep fighting!

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 206.8
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

August 15, 2007

Wednesday. I did well yesterday. I did not bend to any temptations. As a result, I’m back down to 205 this morning.

This morning at work I boxed up all the cookies that were around from the previous day and shipped them out of the office. If my office staff doesn’t like it then tough! If they want to bring in some fruit or healthy snacks then fine but I’m tired of the junk food.

I hiked at lunch for 3.6 miles in the heat today. Man, I am so ready for fall weather. The heat really saps my energy.

I’m really tired of this gain/loss pattern I’ve been on and it is time for me to get serious again. It’s like I can only be really serious about weight loss for two or three months. Then I start to slide. Well I’ve been bouncing from 204 to 210 since May. It’s time to get with the program again. This year I will not bounce all the way back to 250 or worse. This year I’m going to fight and win. I’m sick of the apathy and sick of seeing a “2” as the leading number in my weight. I’m ready to see that “1”.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 205.0
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

August 16, 2007

Thursday. Things are going pretty well. I hiked 3.8 miles at lunch yesterday and ate on plan with no cheats. I did have an extra helping of dinner that I probably should not have eaten but I was pretty good. Today I’m down almost a pound so that is good. I was really tired last night and still today feel a bit fatigued. I’ve been hiking further than usual and it has been really hot so I guess that is why I’m so tired. I may take it easy at lunch today and just hike 2 miles.

Other than that I’m feeling pretty good and am pleased with my progress over the last two weeks. I just need to keep it up and I’ll be under 200 soon.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 204.2
Goal weight: 185

[DisneyPrincess]

Hey Alex, looks like you are doing ok here. Everyone has rough patches, all you can do is move on.

The heat- ugg, it totally causes me to be more tired. I have been out running in like 80 degrees, 80% humidity and it kills me! Nice work on the hiking though.

Keep up the good work

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by Jackielbrown04

Hey Alex, looks like you are doing ok here. Everyone has rough patches, all you can do is move on.

The heat- ugg, it totally causes me to be more tired. I have been out running in like 80 degrees, 80% humidity and it kills me! Nice work on the hiking though.

Keep up the good work

Hiya Jackie! Thanks for dropping by. I think I'll take the 95 degrees with the lower humidity!! I see you are training for a marathon. That is fantastic. I hope that one day I can start running again. My goal was to start again after I was under 200 pounds. That is pretty soon. I just hope my knees can take it!!!

[Colo Alex]

August 20, 2007

Monday. Crazy weekend. Inventory at three locations on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I’ve worked 6 days every week since July 23rd and last week was 7 days. I’m really beat! The last two weeks I’ve hiked at lunch every day M-F. This past Saturday I took a nice long hike of 7 miles in the morning and then headed to the remote store for inventory. It has been hectic but manageable. I know that it has been easier to handle because my eating and exercise have been in control. That is the secret to stress control: be IN CONTROL!!!

So today I’m down to 202 pounds. I’m just three away from 199. I am SO ready to get there. I know I can do it this time. I am now firmly back into the VFZ and plan to stay there. I am also glad that summer is just about over. It has been really hot and I am sick of the 90’s. The morning hike on Saturday was great. The weather was not hot yet and it even stayed a little overcast. The day was really long as I got home around 9:00pm from the inventory. I saw two different bears on the trip so it was worth it!

I hiked the 3.6 miles at lunch today and have stayed on plan for over two weeks now. I think I am in the right groove and frame of mind.

Life is good.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 202.0
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

August 21, 2007

Tuesday. Another good day of exercise and eating on plan. Hiked 3.6 miles at lunch and controlled my eating for the day. The scale was down another half today so I am glad to see that. The hike was a little tough at first. I really had to push to get going. After the first big hill I was ok. I’m glad I was able to push through.

My frame of mind is really good and I’m in a pretty good mood. 199 is really close now and I know I will get there this time.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 201.6
Goal weight: 185

[DisneyPrincess]

Glad you are feeling so good! Makes this so much easier eh?

[bubu]

Hi Alex,
Boy, you sure rebounded quickly and successfully so. I too was off the program for all of summer, well part of spring also. It's been a busy one to say the least. I too had house problems...my plaster ceiling in the living room decided to give way and so my oldest and youngest sons were helping me with sheet rock etc. Hubby is working in Wyoming, so he considered himself lucky...well we did, he is good at knocking walls out, but the finer stuff...forget it.
Tourist season hit us double, as one road was closed to the competition and I am so glad that is over. We have the Sturgis Motorcycle Ralley from all eastern states come thru here...only 250 miles from Sturgis, so we were swamped for 2 weeks.
Anyway am back in the game/program. I too ate liberally and bad. I only gained 5 pds, but I have converted lots of my muscle into flab so that is the biggest deal for me.
And oh boy am I sore today, after upper and lower and a bit of cardio the other day.
Its been so darn hot and humid all summer, I am looking fwd to some good workouts in cool temps now.

Best end this book....
Have a great day and wishing you luck in hitting 199...way to go on your progress !!!!!!!!

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by Jackielbrown04

Glad you are feeling so good! Makes this so much easier eh?

It does make it easier. I think it is all related... good food, good mood.

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by bubu

Hi Alex,
Boy, you sure rebounded quickly and successfully so. I too was off the program for all of summer, well part of spring also. It's been a busy one to say the least. I too had house problems...my plaster ceiling in the living room decided to give way and so my oldest and youngest sons were helping me with sheet rock etc. Hubby is working in Wyoming, so he considered himself lucky...well we did, he is good at knocking walls out, but the finer stuff...forget it.
Tourist season hit us double, as one road was closed to the competition and I am so glad that is over. We have the Sturgis Motorcycle Ralley from all eastern states come thru here...only 250 miles from Sturgis, so we were swamped for 2 weeks.
Anyway am back in the game/program. I too ate liberally and bad. I only gained 5 pds, but I have converted lots of my muscle into flab so that is the biggest deal for me.
And oh boy am I sore today, after upper and lower and a bit of cardio the other day.
Its been so darn hot and humid all summer, I am looking fwd to some good workouts in cool temps now.

Best end this book....
Have a great day and wishing you luck in hitting 199...way to go on your progress !!!!!!!!

Hey Bu. Glad you are back. It is tough sometimes, that is for sure. Well, I'm glad you are back and on track.

[Colo Alex]

August 22, 2007

Wednesday. A decent day yesterday. The 3.6-mile hike was easier yesterday. It is still really hot. 96 when I was hiking. The scale did not move today but I was expecting some leveling off. I have been dropping for a while and I usually level off for a bit then drop some more. So I will be patient. I’m not in a very good mood today for some reason, so I need to be careful about eating.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 201.6
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Just a quick hello .. have a great Thursday !!