Colo Alex - Finding 'me' Journey

[dusk]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

April 16, 2007

Sunday I was feeling angry and frustrated with my family so I took off on a bike ride. I ended up going 10 miles.

Wow! Way to go in going for a ride instead of going for food!

[bubu]

Alex,
I suggest taking a couple of days off, from the all out excercise...do a slow steady type for about 45 to 60 minutes, one that is in your 65 % MHRT, and take a day off, give your bod some time to RELAX and catch up.

Your posts sound a bit stressed right now, its not just physical but mental that hangs us up. I know we feel better after a cardio, but while we are there we tend to either not do enough some days and too much other days, then beat ourselves up over it, which in turn causes presure to try harder, the feeling something is going wrong.

My own experience, a couple of easy days makes the difference.
let your body let go of some of the water, the stress, catch up on sleep, get your eating back, then refocus on the weights and cardio. Mix it up, couple of tough days, couple of easier ones and time off. Lots of sleep to recoup.

The increased appetite comes with lifting. Cardio usually curbs it.....the only suggestion is, somtimes you need the extra fuel, then again pre-planning what goes in before you sit down to eat it will help a bit.

I always leave enough at night for my flax yoghurt, and then I know I am done with food.

Just my thoughts....hope I didn't get too suggestive.
Nite,
Bu

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by dusk

Hi Alex. I was reading your opening "introduction" and I gotta tell ya, I feel for you with the "special lunches". Although my parents didn't do that, they did send me to a hypnotist and then to nutri-system.

My "fondest memory" of these "special efforts" by my parents was one of my birthdays when I was in high school. The parents got the camera and made me hold a "birthday cake". You wanna know what the cake was? A pile of apples with icing artfully spelling out "happy birthday." Yep . . . I understand where you're coming from. My mom is still embarrassed about those moments.

So, I just wanted to say, Hi and congratulate you on a good job thus far.

Hi Dusk! Thanks for stopping by. Those were some "great" memories! My son is overweight but I will not force him onto any "diet." I know from my own expeirence that only he can decide when to change.

Originally Posted by bubu

Alex,
I suggest taking a couple of days off, from the all out excercise...do a slow steady type for about 45 to 60 minutes, one that is in your 65 % MHRT, and take a day off, give your bod some time to RELAX and catch up.

Your posts sound a bit stressed right now, its not just physical but mental that hangs us up. I know we feel better after a cardio, but while we are there we tend to either not do enough some days and too much other days, then beat ourselves up over it, which in turn causes presure to try harder, the feeling something is going wrong.

My own experience, a couple of easy days makes the difference.
let your body let go of some of the water, the stress, catch up on sleep, get your eating back, then refocus on the weights and cardio. Mix it up, couple of tough days, couple of easier ones and time off. Lots of sleep to recoup.

The increased appetite comes with lifting. Cardio usually curbs it.....the only suggestion is, somtimes you need the extra fuel, then again pre-planning what goes in before you sit down to eat it will help a bit.

I always leave enough at night for my flax yoghurt, and then I know I am done with food.

Just my thoughts....hope I didn't get too suggestive.
Nite,
Bu

Bu - You can be suggestive anytime. It is not a problem. I took the last two days off from night time exercise but I'm still planning to lift tonight. I slept great last night and feel very rested. Stress is a tough thing for me. I fight it a lot. I am still learning how to deal with it. It is a slow process.

April 18, 2007

Wednesday and still no drop. I’m getting a little frustrated but I can be patient. I know my body is just in a flat zone and I’ll start dropping again soon. I did not do any lifting or cardio last night. That makes two nights in a row. I did hike at lunch both days so I am not shirking my exercise completely. I plan on lifting upper body tonight. I really got some good sleep last night. We went to Kati’s band concert last night, which was great. The kids have about one month of school left and it starts to get really busy. So, I’ve got to stay pretty disciplined with my workouts.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.4
Goal weight: 185

[DarbyAz]

Hang in there Alex.

[Colo Alex]

April 19, 2007

Thursday. I had a good day yesterday. I ate really clean and we had fish for dinner. I walked/hiked/jogged at lunch in 40mph winds and after dinner I lifted upper body. I feel pretty good today. This morning I am down a pound. Finally a drop. I was really getting frustrated. I am so close to being under 210 I can hardly stand it. I am really starting to believe that I will get under 200. I know I can do it now. I have no doubt. March 8th I was 220.8 pounds so it took me 6 weeks to drop 10 pounds. It takes much longer to lose 10 pounds than it used to. When I was 297 it was easy to drop 10 pounds. It takes much more discipline with portion control and more exercise but it is a progression. I know that when I reach goal that I will have to be even more disciplined and even more careful with portions and what I eat. There will be no reverting back to any of the foods I’ve left behind. I will have to stay the course. I can do it. So far I have not binged or sought out food in a stressful or emotional situation. I have wanted to, but I have resisted. I know that I cannot give in to the “it’s only one, or just this once” thoughts. They snowball into binges for me.

25 pounds till goal. Keep fighting.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 210.4
Goal weight: 185

[DarbyAz]

Congrats Alex! Good news. Sometimes it just takes plugging away minute by minute.

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by DarbyAz

Congrats Alex! Good news. Sometimes it just takes plugging away minute by minute.

Thanks for the encouragement Darby.


April 20, 2007

Friday! My weight is bumping a little this morning. I was at 211 but I was feeling a little bloated this morning. No worries. I had a great hike yesterday. I went further than before on the new upper trail. I almost did not have enough time for lunch. It is so pretty up where I hike and the weather is perfect. I’d like to return on a weekend when I can go for the full 7 miles. Maybe I’ll just take a day off from work and do it sometime.

Eating was good yesterday. Last night I had Safeway deli Meatloaf. 7 carbs per serving and I had two slices so about 11 carbs. I also had a hardboiled egg and no exercise so I’m not surprised that my weight did not go down.

I had a couple of people looking at pictures I have on my desk of my kids and I when they were younger. They commented that I had really “slimmed down” since then.

My Father-in-law came into work yesterday and he told me that I was really looking good. Those things are always nice to hear.

I’ve got to keep up the fight so I can really knock their socks off. But seriously, I want to do it for me. I want to be healthy. I love the energy I have most of the time and the feeling I get when I’m out hiking or even after a good weight lifting workout.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Hey buddy.. ..

Just checkin in on ya....looks like things are good.. even though that dern scale was put a pound.. no freat.. maybe just water weight.. you know how that goes.. lol

have a super weekend hun..

Oh and congrats on the FIL.. thats always wonderful to hear..

[bubu]

GREAT MOTIVATING JOURNAL ENTRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When u speak of 7 mile hike, I sooooooooooo longed for my 6 mile weighted walks....I strated out with 2 pds and ended up with 20 pds and would walk this on weekends or a couple of time during the week also...I slimmed down really fast, but of course I couldn't that anymore today, with my knee..although I am reaaaaaaaallllllllllly tempted.

You should look into the walking poles..for a hike and the supposed losses with the stride action, would be great on a hike....for me only if there weren't any onlookers..think I would feel a bit nerdy with them in this town.

ok...gotta roll
Great weekend!!!
Bu

[DarbyAz]

Hi Alex-

Just wanted to drop by to wish you a good weekend. Keep the faith.

[Colo Alex]

April 23, 2007

Monday. This is the start of a busy week for me. I have meetings all day tomorrow with my staff and then the monthly board meeting tomorrow night. It’s always a long and stressful week.

Eating the last few days has been strange. Friday I went to Kati’s track meet and then stopped at Safeway to pick up some dinner for the family. I got a turkey breast from the deli. My wife had meetings late and everyone was in and out. I ended up eating too much turkey. Low in carbs but too much food. Saturday was spent running around and dodging rain showers. I did manage to get the lawn mowed and trimmed but not much else. No real exercise to speak of. Breakfast on Saturday was normal. Lunch was also normal, but I snacked on turkey on and off. Saturday night no one wanted to cook and we had not been out to dinner in a long time so we had Chili’s for dinner. I tried to go low carb but I ended up having chicken club taco’s. There were three of them and I could have stopped after one. I didn’t. I ended up eating all three, tortillas and all. I even ate some of the rice and beans. Well, I suffered that night for the overeating. I really don’t think it would have been very bad if I had just stopped after one. But what got me was how much and how salty everything was. Sunday morning I was at 212.8 pounds. I was angry but at the same time I took the opportunity to learn more about myself. I know that I am a binger but think I controlled it pretty well. In the past I would have used Sunday as a “well I already blew it so eating this other bad stuff won’t be any worse” kind of day. I was in control Sunday and stayed on plan. I even went for the full 7-mile hike that I have wanted to take. This morning I’m down a little to 212 pounds. I feel like I am still in charge and that it was just a little blip. I also feel like I need to let go a little from time to time. After all I did not eat junk food like candy or doughnuts. I simply ate too much. One thing at a time. I really feel like I am conquering things. This was not horrible just a little trip up. I think after it is all out of my system I will be right back on track and pushing under 210 soon. I feel like I really blew it this weekend and yet, I really saved it! I did not go on a huge binge and I stayed in control. I’m still learning but I understand how the emotion of eating affects me. Eating is more emotion than just actual sustenance isn’t it? Hmmm. That is interesting. The less emotion is tied into eating the better off I am and the easier it is to deal with. If I don’t tie food in with feelings then I can better handle the food addictions and binges. I should not eat to feel happy or when I’m down or frustrated etc… I should eat because I’m hungry… Because it gives me the energy to do the other things in life that make me happy. This doesn’t mean I should never go to a restaurant but it helps change the pleasure I get from going out to eat. The pleasure should come from the event, the change of scenery, being out with my wife or family, not the food itself.

Well, quite a tirade this morning. I feel like I learned a lot from this weekend. That is important.


Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 212.0
Goal weight: 185

[DarbyAz]

Alex- I do that too. Eat lots of legal food sometimes. I have found that it actually happens usually right before a loss. same thing with tummy rumbling. you did good tho. congrats

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by DarbyAz

Alex- I do that too. Eat lots of legal food sometimes. I have found that it actually happens usually right before a loss. same thing with tummy rumbling. you did good tho. congrats

Thanks Darby. I'll keep on fighting. Hope things are well for you.

[Colo Alex]

April 24, 2007

One more day of good work and eating. I had a great hike at lunch yesterday and did an upper body workout after dinner. I feel pretty good but I seem to be more tired lately. I don’t feel like I am getting enough sleep or something. The weight gain has been stressful but I am down a little this morning. I think the additional exercise is helping with the weight gain a little, but mostly it was the poor food choices and eating too much. My pants are fitting a little loser and I had to move my belt a notch in this morning so there are some positive signs as well. It is just hard not to see the scale move.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.4
Goal weight: 185

[DarbyAz]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

April 24, 2007

One more day of good work and eating. I had a great hike at lunch yesterday and did an upper body workout after dinner. I feel pretty good but I seem to be more tired lately. I don’t feel like I am getting enough sleep or something. The weight gain has been stressful but I am down a little this morning. I think the additional exercise is helping with the weight gain a little, but mostly it was the poor food choices and eating too much. My pants are fitting a little loser and I had to move my belt a notch in this morning so there are some positive signs as well. It is just hard not to see the scale move.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.4
Goal weight: 185

Don't watch the scale, Alex. Look at what you just said. You are losing. Your pants are looser, your belt is in a notch. You know what is happening? You are building lean muscle mass. The fat cells are shrinking. Muscle weighs the same as fat, but you are seeing it in other ways. Man, I hate the scale, but look at where you are.

[monet0329]

hey there.. ..
I bet the weight gain is muscle.. so I wouldn't sweat it too much..

glad it is down some today.. .. hang in there Alex..

[bubu]

Just looking in for sec. Day off today, thank God, lots of things to get done before hubby gets back. Want to spend time relaxed not running around like and idiot.

Anyway....great journal entry Alex. So true...I find if we eat socially or to treat ourselves, we have to make sure we take JUST that protion of food we are willing to cheat with . Then make THAT the relaxed enjoyable meal, as in sip a nice drink in betw. taking our time and make it special in so many other ways than diving in and reaching for more.

I have found that NOT putting the bowls, platters on the table makes a huge difference....then on closing of the meal, make a ritual of having something to end the meal.
I know we act on impulse and moods...for us females usually AT LEAST once a month, hormonal stuff. I have my toughest time there, and it really takes control.
The other thing as Darby said.....right before a loss we tend to crave, and sometimes it helps to give in just a little and reset the body's thinking. Letting go once in a while and it feels its not being punished.
I also feel very sluggish and tired when I have overdone it, and not necessarily in carbs, but also calories. What really helps me: when I overeat the night before, I usually wait until I am really hungry the next day, before I eat something. It shrinks the size of the stomach and helps control the urge to keep filling it.
Anyway.....off to work and you are SOOOOOOOO in control and in tune, congrats Alex.

Laters,
Bu

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by DarbyAz

Don't watch the scale, Alex. Look at what you just said. You are losing. Your pants are looser, your belt is in a notch. You know what is happening? You are building lean muscle mass. The fat cells are shrinking. Muscle weighs the same as fat, but you are seeing it in other ways. Man, I hate the scale, but look at where you are.

I know you are right Darby, It is just hard!!!

Originally Posted by monet0329

hey there.. ..
I bet the weight gain is muscle.. so I wouldn't sweat it too much..

glad it is down some today.. .. hang in there Alex..

Thanks Monet. Glad you check in on me from time to time.

Originally Posted by bubu

Just looking in for sec. Day off today, thank God, lots of things to get done before hubby gets back. Want to spend time relaxed not running around like and idiot.

Anyway....great journal entry Alex. So true...I find if we eat socially or to treat ourselves, we have to make sure we take JUST that protion of food we are willing to cheat with . Then make THAT the relaxed enjoyable meal, as in sip a nice drink in betw. taking our time and make it special in so many other ways than diving in and reaching for more.

I have found that NOT putting the bowls, platters on the table makes a huge difference....then on closing of the meal, make a ritual of having something to end the meal.
I know we act on impulse and moods...for us females usually AT LEAST once a month, hormonal stuff. I have my toughest time there, and it really takes control.
The other thing as Darby said.....right before a loss we tend to crave, and sometimes it helps to give in just a little and reset the body's thinking. Letting go once in a while and it feels its not being punished.
I also feel very sluggish and tired when I have overdone it, and not necessarily in carbs, but also calories. What really helps me: when I overeat the night before, I usually wait until I am really hungry the next day, before I eat something. It shrinks the size of the stomach and helps control the urge to keep filling it.
Anyway.....off to work and you are SOOOOOOOO in control and in tune, congrats Alex.

Laters,
Bu

Bu - You are right right about the feeling punished thing. I really tend to do that. I can't treat food as a reward or punishment.


April 25, 2007

Tuesday. I had a nice hike at lunch yesterday. I had staff meetings during the day and board meeting last night. Got home around 10:30 so not too bad. Did not have any more time to workout but it was not scheduled anyway. I plan on lifting tonight. Probably lower body. My weight is driving me crazy. I was absolutely on plan all day and no movement. Actually it went up .2 to 211.6! Arrgghh! Ok, keep working and don’t give up.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.6
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

April 26, 2007

Thursday. Ok, I am much better today. I did a short walk at lunch and ate very clean for the day. I lifted lower body last night after dinner and the scale took almost 2 pounds this morning. I feel much better, but I am trying not to put too much stock in what the scale tells me. It is hard but I am trying to fight the scale obsession I have. I feel like I need to weigh in every day to keep myself on target and on plan. Maybe after I reach goal I will not, but I doubt it. So anyway, I’m at 209.8 this morning and really glad to have broken the 210 barrier. I won’t get too excited until I see the lower weight stick around for a few days.

I am working on the mental side of this change and feel like the secret to changing the blaming food or using food as a reward needs to be permanently replaced with other things. I need to stop using food as the reason I’m miserable. I need to find the root of whatever problem I’m having and deal with that. More importantly I cannot use food as a reward or a way of making myself feel better. That is the big one. I am finding other things that make me feel good. Hiking for one. I hate to sound selfish, but I am finding happiness in the solitude and doing something that I like. Not for my family or friends or work, but just for me. I really think that is the answer. It is hard to do because lots of time I feel guilty.

As a father and husband I have always taken care of family, home, work and others first. I have never dreamed of doing something just for myself. I am learning however that it is vital to do this. The big thing about becoming healthier and losing weight has been that I can be successful if I do it for the right reason. I am losing weight and exercising for me, no other reason. I need to find more things that I love to do so I can turn to them instead of food. I’m working on this and progressing.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 209.8
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

April 26, 2007

Thursday. Ok, I am much better today. I did a short walk at lunch and ate very clean for the day. I lifted lower body last night after dinner and the scale took almost 2 pounds this morning. I feel much better, but I am trying not to put too much stock in what the scale tells me. It is hard but I am trying to fight the scale obsession I have. I feel like I need to weigh in every day to keep myself on target and on plan. Maybe after I reach goal I will not, but I doubt it. So anyway, I’m at 209.8 this morning and really glad to have broken the 210 barrier. I won’t get too excited until I see the lower weight stick around for a few days.

I am working on the mental side of this change and feel like the secret to changing the blaming food or using food as a reward needs to be permanently replaced with other things. I need to stop using food as the reason I’m miserable. I need to find the root of whatever problem I’m having and deal with that. More importantly I cannot use food as a reward or a way of making myself feel better. That is the big one. I am finding other things that make me feel good. Hiking for one. I hate to sound selfish, but I am finding happiness in the solitude and doing something that I like. Not for my family or friends or work, but just for me. I really think that is the answer. It is hard to do because lots of time I feel guilty.

As a father and husband I have always taken care of family, home, work and others first. I have never dreamed of doing something just for myself. I am learning however that it is vital to do this. The big thing about becoming healthier and losing weight has been that I can be successful if I do it for the right reason. I am losing weight and exercising for me, no other reason. I need to find more things that I love to do so I can turn to them instead of food. I’m working on this and progressing.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 209.8
Goal weight: 185

your doing awesome.. ..stay focused and you'll continue to do this well.... and your right.. finding out the problem is what makes things all better.. just ask Oprah..lol..that's what she always says..

have a great evening..

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by monet0329

your doing awesome.. ..stay focused and you'll continue to do this well.... and your right.. finding out the problem is what makes things all better.. just ask Oprah..lol..that's what she always says..

have a great evening..

Oh yes, Oprah and I are real close!! We talk every day. I never see her show, but it isn't exactly up my alley. I do think she is amazing however.


April 27, 2007

Friday!!! Great day of eating yesterday. Normal omelet for breakfast, chicken salad for lunch and broiled chicken with Greek salad for dinner. I have resisted deserts the last two nights. Wednesday was chocolate moose and last night was ice cream. Both lower carb versions but still lots of calories and both are junk food. Exercise was also good yesterday. Went for a hike at lunch and even took a walk after dinner. This was after my lower body workout the night before so I am definitely making progress. The scale was down again this morning a little over a half-pound to 209.2 so I am happy. The weekend is close so I will need to stay tough and busy. I am the right mood to succeed.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 209.2
Goal weight: 185