Colo Alex - Finding 'me' Journey

[TaDa!]

Way to go Alex!!!!!! We'll miss you!!!, but have a great great vacation!!!!

P

[monet0329]

.. glad to see that 210 again.. ..

This trip will do you some good my friend.. no scales for 4 days woot woot..

have fun and be careful... relax.. enjoy.,,breath and don't forget to exhale..

.. see you when you get back home and all refreshed.....

[Colo Alex]

February 4, 2008

Monday. Well the vacation was great. We had a good time. Relaxed. We had no set schedule except for our flights. It was very good. I did not eat entirely on plan, but didn’t go crazy either. I am glad to be home and not eating at restaurants. Even on-plan food gets too much salt and who knows what else. The scale showed 214 this morning but I’m not worried. I’m sure most of that is water and salt (plus a little junk). I should have that gone soon.

The air travel was a little stressful on the way home. Delays and re-routing and weather etc. made for some stress, but I feel pretty good today. Work is good and the stress of coming back after some time off is not bad. I’m here for two days and then off on a business trip for three days starting Wednesday. I’m not too worried about eating on the business trip. I can usually do pretty well. The hard part will be the drive over the mountains. I hope it has cleared up by then. We’ve had quite a bit of snow lately.

I did not weigh myself last night, so that is a small victory. If I can continue weighing in once a day then I can work on skipping a day and then I’ll see where that leads me.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 214.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

February 4, 2008

Monday. Well the vacation was great. We had a good time. Relaxed. We had no set schedule except for our flights. It was very good. I did not eat entirely on plan, but didn’t go crazy either. I am glad to be home and not eating at restaurants. Even on-plan food gets too much salt and who knows what else. The scale showed 214 this morning but I’m not worried. I’m sure most of that is water and salt (plus a little junk). I should have that gone soon.

The air travel was a little stressful on the way home. Delays and re-routing and weather etc. made for some stress, but I feel pretty good today. Work is good and the stress of coming back after some time off is not bad. I’m here for two days and then off on a business trip for three days starting Wednesday. I’m not too worried about eating on the business trip. I can usually do pretty well. The hard part will be the drive over the mountains. I hope it has cleared up by then. We’ve had quite a bit of snow lately.

I did not weigh myself last night, so that is a small victory. If I can continue weighing in once a day then I can work on skipping a day and then I’ll see where that leads me.
Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 214.0
Goal weight: 185

Baby steps..

glad your vaca was a good one ..

sorry about the time comin home.. ugh.. but you made it safe and sound.. so thats a plus..

have a great day hun..

[TaDa!]

Alex!!! We missed you!! Sounds like a nice trip - and you did really well with the food. Your scale plan sounds really good .. as Monet says, Baby Steps! I bet even just dispensing with the extra weighing will feel great .... a little liberation! Makes sense anyhow if you're off on another trip where you won;t have access to your usual weighing scales!

Glad you're back!!

pauline

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by monet0329

Baby steps..

Ever notice how many times babys fall down?? Yet they keep getting up. There is more to baby steps than just small steps huh??

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by TaDa!

I bet even just dispensing with the extra weighing will feel great .... a little liberation! Makes sense anyhow if you're off on another trip where you won;t have access to your usual weighing scales!

Maybe the hotel will have a scale in their fitness center. JK!

[Colo Alex]

February 5, 2008

Tuesday. Yesterday went pretty well. I ate on plan and did not have too many hunger pangs or cravings. I’m drinking a lot of water again. It seems at work it is easy for me to drink plenty of water, but on vacation or at home for the weekend it is more difficult.

The kids and wife had a snow day yesterday. First one in 20 years for our district. We really didn’t get that much snow, we’ve had a lot more in the past, but the roads were really icy under all the snow.

Tomorrow I drive to Colorado Springs for business meetings. I hope the mountain roads are clear by then. I hate driving in the mountains during bad weather.

The scale had me down this morning. Not as much as I had hoped but down is good. I really need to be more consistent for a longer stretch. The vacation did not help my eating but it was much needed. I think I need to be able to go off plan a little and then right back on. It shows that I am in control and can handle little blips and changes. However, I really want to get back under 200 pounds and then make a serious run at 180. I really think I can do it, but I need to get very consistent and regimented. I can start with my business trip tomorrow. No need to eat off plan, just be smart.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 213.4
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

February 6, 2008

Quick check in before I hit the road. I had what I thought was a binge coming on last night, but I hung tough. I was just famished. We waited too long to eat dinner and I was too hungry. I was able to keep it mostly in check by eating extra spinach with dinner. Also had some fruit after and it seemed to help curb the cravings. I don't know what caused it. It wasn't any kind of emotion, just hunger.

Today I'm down a little on the scale. I need to keep it on plan on this business trip. I can do it.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.6
Goal weight: 185

[TaDa!]

Way to go Alex!!!! I get binge-y when I wait to eat too long too ... in fact today I was going to go shopping at the gym, but realized I wouldn't make it to eat before 2 pm and would be crazy hungry by then ... so I just decided the heck with shopping!! Congratulations on beating the urge!!!

Have a great trip!!

Pauline

[Colo Alex]

Quick check in from the road. Things are going well. The drive over was bad (snowy) but I made it. Eating yesterday was pretty good. Today I've got meetings and they are bringing in lunch and dinner, so that can always be a challenge. I'll just avoid the carby stuff. I got in late last night so no time to hit the fitness room, but I will tonight.

[TaDa!]

Alex!!!!! Sorry about your snowy drive in ... unfortunately I can relate today, lol!!! ice storm this morning.

Keep up the great work!!!! You just know we'll want to hear the "brought-in-food" battle stories when you return!!! Hopefully you'll at least get cold cuts for lunch!!!

Keep on keeping on!!



Pauline

[monet0329]

Hiya my friend.. hope the trip is profitable for you all.. .. you will do good with your food choices.. I have no doubt.. .. and IF there ins;t anything on plan.. just don't over do it ;;

[monet0329]

[Colo Alex]

February 11, 2008

I blew it….again.

Monday. I did really well for the days at the meetings. I ate very carefully and did not eat any of the junk that was readily available. I was smart and disciplined. The drive over was a mess; snow and wind and bad roads. The drive back was worse.

On my way back I thought it would be smart to have some food with me in case I got stuck or whatever. I got three power bars at the gas station when I fueled up. I had a good breakfast and a decent lunch before I left. The drive was really bad. Snow and wind but at least the route I took was still open. Most other roads were closed. Well, I got through the worst and was about two hours from home and decided instead of stopping for dinner I would just eat one of the power bars. By the time I got home I had eaten all three. 740 calories. Idiot.

Saturday and Sunday I binged. Cereal, toast, bagels, peanut butter. That was it, nothing really horrible, but there was a time on Saturday night that my stomach hurt from being so full, yet I felt like I still wanted to eat. Sunday was not as bad, but I did eat off plan, and overate with on-plan foods.

What a disaster I have become. I seem to find more and more ways to fail. I’ve never had this much trouble staying on plan. I really do not understand this weakness.

I don’t want to be fat. I want to be healthy. I don’t want to binge; yet I do. I am weak.

I need to regroup. I need to re-asses how I’m doing things. Obviously I am doing this wrong.

My head is not in this the way it should be. I may have to concentrate on fixing some other areas of my life before I can be successful with my weight loss. I don’t know… I just don’t know anymore. I’m tired. The willingness to fight is waning.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 216.4
Goal weight: 185

[TaDa!]

You are not weak Alex - that is a fallacy we have all grown up with and especially the men. The fallacy being: You are fat because you are weak, undisciplined, lazy ... and when we try to hold ourselves to that standard, we rebel and we binge. I am sure the scary drive was a big part as well .. I am just like you are in that kind of situation.

You probably were so hard on yourself for eating those bars, that you let out the binge monster to punish yourself for being "weak." 750 extra calories is no big deal. If you had told yourself that, instead of shouting at yourself, maybe you could have recovered sooner. As it is three days is not the end of the world.

You are human. You are doing a lot of good things for yourself. You had a great business trip eating well in a difficult situation. You know you are good at this especially during the week and today is Monday. You are going to be just fine Alex. Tell yourself because you have not done too much harm - you really have not.

Forward, onward!! in the same way you would carry on in a business situation that did not have a great outcome - you would not subject employees to the kind of cruel and non-constructive chewing out you are giving yourself right now.

Onward Alex!!!!



Pauline

[Colo Alex]

This is what is so frustrating. I am not weak in any other part of my life. (at least none that I am aware of) I am a strong, and good husband and father. I am a good provider for my family. I am a good boss. I listen well and am an excellent problem solver. What the hell is wrong with me that I can’t conquer this eating problem???

I know I must sound like a weak, whiner. I really don’t want to come across that way. I am just angry, frustrated and upset that I can’t seem to beat this.

Hang with me Pauline. I am thankful for your support. I only hope you have not lost respect for me. I certainly have for myself.

[renogeorge]

Hi Alex!

Try not to let this get you down. I understand the frustration you are feeling. The main point is you are on the right track even though you slip. Remember to stay determined rather than desperate. Remind yourself that you are doing this to be healthy. Be confident that you are going to be okay. Also remember there is a purpose for your good health. Focus on this. You are going to be okay. Try to find happiness in your journey. Hang in there Alex! I am pulling for you.

George

[TaDa!]

I have a lot of respect for you Alex. You are the one who disrespects Alex, so to speak. "Weak" ... "Whiner" ... I am going to bet that no one calls you those things now as an adult. Maybe they did when you were a child - but if you mimic that internally, you will never get beyond those words ...

George really summed up the only thing that has worked for me - happiness in your journey ... no recriminations, live today for today and be the best lowcarb queen I can for the moment and the rest of it all will take care of itself. I know you can get there too.

I hope you are feeling a little better tonight!



Pauline

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by renogeorge

Hi Alex!

Try not to let this get you down. I understand the frustration you are feeling. The main point is you are on the right track even though you slip. Remember to stay determined rather than desperate. Remind yourself that you are doing this to be healthy. Be confident that you are going to be okay. Also remember there is a purpose for your good health. Focus on this. You are going to be okay. Try to find happiness in your journey. Hang in there Alex! I am pulling for you.

George

Hey George. It is good to hear from you again. You are absolutely right. Determination and not Desperation. I need to concentrate on that.
Thanks very much for the support.

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by TaDa!

I have a lot of respect for you Alex. You are the one who disrespects Alex, so to speak. "Weak" ... "Whiner" ... I am going to bet that no one calls you those things now as an adult. Maybe they did when you were a child - but if you mimic that internally, you will never get beyond those words ...

George really summed up the only thing that has worked for me - happiness in your journey ... no recriminations, live today for today and be the best lowcarb queen I can for the moment and the rest of it all will take care of itself. I know you can get there too.

I hope you are feeling a little better tonight!



Pauline

Thanks again Pauline. I guess I've got to accept my faults and move on. I can't dwell on the problems, but should dwell on the solutions in stead. I'm wrecking to many today's by obsessing about my weight or failures. I'll be 44 this year for crying out loud. Time to grow up! Enjoy the wonderful days that I have and the better health I've given myself.

[Colo Alex]

February 12, 2008

Tuesday. The fight continues. Yesterday I was pretty down on myself. I think I need to express my disgust and I don’t seem to have a problem doing that. Bad acts must have consequences, so I guess I feel the need to berate myself for the bad behavior. This is not an easy issue for me to conquer. I’m not convinced that I should. I still feel like I need to set myself straight, or punish myself for the binge. Maybe that is wrong, but I just can’t allow myself to make those poor, horrible decisions and not have some sort of recourse.

So today I’m feeling better. I’m still confused and looking for answers for my binge and more importantly, why I am having such a difficult time this time. I’m still frustrated, but I’m still fighting. I’d sure like to get to a point when it is no longer a fight.

Yesterday I ate 100 % on plan and got in a good hike at lunch. I’m trying to get back closer to induction levels for a while. I think I need the strictness of induction to get me back in control. Anyway, I’m giving it a try. It is better than restricting calories.

Today is my DD’s 15th birthday. Yikes! She is dying to go to the DMV to get her drivers permit. I am not as excited as she! Anyway, she gets to pick a restaurant for her birthday dinner. I am not concerned, because I know I can eat low carb at restaurants.

I’ve got to work on a more positive attitude. It is really affecting my life to be down so much. I really need to quit feeling sorry for myself and go at this in a more positive manner.

The battle continues.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 214.4
Goal weight: 185

[TaDa!]

Congratulations on your good day!! I hope you've had a nice time with your daughter!!!



Pauline

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by TaDa!

Congratulations on your good day!! I hope you've had a nice time with your daughter!!!



Pauline

Thanks Pauline!

[Colo Alex]

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