Colo Alex - Finding 'me' Journey

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

Thanks Ladies! The meeting went well, and my speech was good. I also did well at the meal. So all in all it was a good day.

I just got in from a 6-mile hike. It was cold at first but beautiful. It felt great to get out there.

See ya later!

... as if I had a doubt..... good for you Alex..
It is freezing here . brrrr...

have agreat evening,,,

[Colo Alex]

January 21, 2008

Monday. So the weekend is over!! I survived the annual meeting and my speech. It all went pretty well. We did have a drunken guy that was an ass, but oh well. I stressed a lot on Saturday but I ate well. The funny thing is I’m actually up a pound this morning to 213. Weird. I actually ate on plan all weekend with no binges or cheats. Didn’t even have an urge. I hiked 6 miles on Sunday. I did not drink enough water is all I can think of, but I’m not going to let it bug me. I’m just going to keep on plan.
I really think that stress can cause me to gain weight or stall even when calories and carbs are on plan and I exercise. It just shows how powerful stress can be.

I got angry with my wife last night and I really shouldn’t have. She said something to me in a demeaning way and it upset me. I know she didn’t intend to, but it made me mad, sad… you know, upset. I didn’t say anything to her. I usually just get quiet when I’m upset, so she knew and just avoided me. Well, I ended up going to bed in that mood, and it really affected my sleep. I get upset too easily. I need to work on that. At least I didn’t go on an anger binge.

None of this behavior is good for my health and I know it affects my weight. I’m sure it is not good for my wife and family. I need to mellow out.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 213.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

hey there....

your right.. stress can do all kinds of things to your body and health.. .. and keeping things bottled up isn't good for you either.. even if you have to wright it down.. it will make you feel better.. I am the same way though.. when I am upset.. I a, quiet.. leave me alone.. but if it REALLY bothers me.. I will wright a letter that way I can get it out and he knows how I am feeling..

just a suggestion for ya.. ..

good for you for staying on plan this weekend....
you ave a super day..

[TaDa!]

Alex! If you figure out a way to mellow out, let me in on it, because mellow is the last way people would describe me and when I get upset, I am a mess. I think you are doing pretty well considering all you've been through this weekend. The scale is a liar ... please do not let it affect your mood or state of mind. Once it starts to do that, it really is time to ditch it!!

Pauline

[Colo Alex]

I can't believe how hungry I am tonight!!! I have resisted and will continue to. I'm viewing the growling and hunger as a sign that my body is chewing on fat. So, I better see a drop on the scale tomorrow or I will be ticked!!!

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by Colo Alex

I can't believe how hungry I am tonight!!! I have resisted and will continue to. I'm viewing the growling and hunger as a sign that my body is chewing on fat. So, I better see a drop on the scale tomorrow or I will be ticked!!!

.. hope there is a loss.. I saw on Oprah about when you have that hungry feelin thats when your losing fat.. BOb Greene said so....

when I get that way.. I drink water to stop the pain..lol..

BB to check on ya

[Colo Alex]

January 22, 2008

Tuesday. Yesterday was pretty good for a Monday! Food was on plan and I hiked at lunch. I even jogged a good portion of the descent. My knees are a little sore today but overall I feel good. For whatever reason I was really hungry after dinner. No anger or frustration or emotions, just growling stomach and hunger. Well, I had eaten a good dinner so there was no physical reason for the hunger. I resisted the urge to eat and drank some water. I distracted myself by playing the piano and singing. It worked and I made it.

This morning I was down a little on the scale. I can’t seem to stay away from the scale. Many times I will weigh myself before bed and subtract three pounds to see where I’m likely to be in the morning. Yikes! I have issues!!

I feel like I’m fully on track now and in control. I need to be. My wife and I are planning a quick get-away next week. We are going to Santa Barbara for a few days. It should be great. Just a few days in the sun (I hope), on the beach, renting a convertible, just the two of us. It should be a very nice, much needed break. We leave on the 30th and back on the 3rd. I’m really looking forward to the trip.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.4
Goal weight: 185

[Colo Alex]

January 23, 2008

Wednesday. No scale movement today. Yes, I weighed myself today! (and last night) I apparently have no will power what so ever in this regard.

Eating was good yesterday and I hiked and jogged at lunch. My knees feel good so I’ll keep up the combo. I read somewhere that you “walk for you butt and run for your gut.” Well my butt is non-existent and my gut most definitely exists so I’ll try to keep increasing the amount I can jog.

I woke up this morning and felt like I had not even slept. I am really tired today. Sleepy tired. I can’t figure it out. I got my normal 7 hours of sleep. Heck, I don’t even remember getting up to pee. That is really unusual. Oh well, I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. I’m still planning on hiking at lunch. Maybe that will give me a boost.

Fight On!

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 212.0
Goal weight: 185

[TaDa!]

WTG Alex!! Two great days!! Keep up the great work!!!!! P

[Colo Alex]

Originally Posted by TaDa!

WTG Alex!! Two great days!! Keep up the great work!!!!! P

Thanks Pauline.

[Colo Alex]

January 24, 2008

Thursday. I was hungry again last night and the scale was down a little this morning. I ate well yesterday and hiked/jogged at lunch. The hike did not give me the boost I was hoping for. I was still tired all day. It’s funny. During my hike I felt like I was really struggling and going slow. But when I got to the top and looked at the stopwatch it was right at 30 min which is right on my normal time. Actually it is pretty good considering the snow, and ice, so it all must be in my head.

Dinner was great last night. Pork chops, cheesy cauliflower and no-sugar applesauce.
Lunch was tuna, a boiled egg, pickle spear, cottage cheese and pineapple.
Breakfast was two-egg omelet with ham and a banana.

I’m feeling good and am noticing my clothes are feeling more comfortable. The weight is really coming off slowly, but I decided to keep my carbs and calories a lot closer to my maintenance levels instead of induction. I think it helps to keep me feeling full. It also helps fuel my body for the exercise I do at lunch. I think it helps to ward off the snack monster as well as the binge beast.

It is hard on me mentally when the weight comes off slowly but I know it is the best for me physically and my best chance to keep it off permanently.

Now I’m ready to take on the day.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 211.2
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

.. Lkin good Alex

[TaDa!]

I find some days working out I feel like I am carrying a cement truck on my back and other days I am light as a bird and (feel like) the fastest one on the planet .. I think it is normal ups and downs of our body recovering from various things, digesting the food different ways, water, etc etc! Good job seeing your workout through despite feeling sluggish ... that is often the only difference between a Winner and a Loser ... that extra bit of determination on the harder days ...

[Colo Alex]

January 25, 2008

Friday. Well, another good day yesterday. Eating was on plan and I took a day off from hiking. I feel great today. Not tired at all. I think my body needed a break. I did not plan to skip my hike but I had to take a trip to one of our branch stores and was gone most of the day.

I made halibut for dinner last night. I put on a nice Masala rub and grilled it. Also had veggies and a fresh fruit salad. Really nice.

We have fresh snow this morning so I plan on snowshoeing on Saturday. Bev says she wants to go so it should be fun.

Life is good.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 210.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

hiya.. ..

glad things are still going good..

remember this weekend.. baby steps and find SOMETHING to do if you get the urge OK.. its just 2 days.. you CAN do it..
snowshoeing should be fun for you two.. ..

have a great rest of your day!

[Colo Alex]

January 28, 2008

Monday. The weekend was pretty good. Saturday we went snowshoeing. I broke trail most of the way so it was a really good workout. The snow was deep but it was a beautiful day. At one point we were going up a steep hill and the snow was up to my waist. It was really tough going but I had a blast. We ended up going only 4 miles but it was fun.

Eating on Saturday was very clean. Sunday morning the scale still showed 210. Sunday was a complete opposite day. I was very lazy. I did not do anything. Eating was pretty good, no binges and the food was on plan. So today I was shocked to see 212 on the scale. Up two pounds in one day! What the hell?? I must have overeaten on Sunday. I don’t know what else it could be. At least when I binge there is a reason for my weight to go up, but this is maddening!

Maybe I need to re-evaluate my plan. Maybe I need to be more restrictive with my calories. I’m acting like I am in maintenance mode and I still need to lose 30 pounds. That is a lot!! What am I doing?? I need to be stricter I guess. I really don’t want to go back to induction levels and quit eating fruit and some grains, but maybe I need to until I get this last huge chunk of fat off my body.

I really don’t want to fast, or skip meals, but maybe I should try it just to get things moving again. It’s not like fasting for a day or two would hurt me. With all this extra fat I’m carrying I could go for weeks without eating.

I don’t know… I’m just frustrated and ticked off right now. I need to ponder for a bit.

Started Atkins September 2003: Weight: 297
Fell off sometime in August 2004
Restarted a few times since January 2006
Current Weight: 212.0
Goal weight: 185

[monet0329]

.. I am sorry you are upset today Alex..

I know what you mean.. I usually don't weigh everyday.. just because of this.. but I did this past week...one day said I lost 2 pounds.. the nest another pound.. so I was really hoping for 3 or more pounds today.. but No0o0o0o.. 1 pound.. crazy huh..

so I am back to every Mon. only..lol.. I don't like to feel cheated..

maybe yours is the extra muscles from walking through all that snow.. its possible ya know..
hang in there ok.. it will go down.. !!

smile.. you KNOW your eating good..

[TaDa!]

Alex, you're going to be annoyed at what I'll say, but I just know you are overthinking this. Obviously you cannot gain 2 pounds of fat in one day. Come on, be serious. You did not gain 2 pounds. In fact, you probably lost fat over the weekend. Chances are the scale weight is simply water weight from all that strenuous exercise on Saturday.

You are seriously letting the scale get in the way of your progress. I feel concerned for you ... you sound like me, right before a binge. And you know, restricting further is just going to push you over the edge and you'll be able to tell yourself "See, you were right, you are an overweight loser who can never get himself under control."

I know how harsh what I am saying must sound, but I recognize the mental manipulations that I have done to myself before. You know those 30 pounds will be off before the summer if you just tow the line with blinders on. You know this works. You know you are not eating too much. You are working out regularly at a great level. You are eating right. Grains and fruits do not make you fat.

If you were actually one of your children, what would you tell them today? You deserve the same encouragement and reinforcement from Alex. Be kind to him.



Pauline

[Colo Alex]

Pauline,

I’m not annoyed by what you say. In fact, I look forward to your replies. I had a feeling that you would respond to this post.

I am a very “cause and effect” person. I deal with absolutes. If A=B and B=C then A must equal C. That is how I look at things. So when I overeat or binge I expect to see a weight gain. That always happens. I’m angry and upset, but at least I know why. When I eat healthy and on plan, and exercise I expect to see a drop in the scale. I have grown accustomed to seeing no drops, or slow drops, but gains are another thing all together.

There is nothing logical about weight loss, or eating and that is very hard for a person like me to deal with. (It must be the Vulcan blood!)

Obviously by now, you know that I am a very impatient person. I realize that and battle with it continually. I am by no means giving up. I simply want better results from all my hard work. Is that too darn much to ask????? Ok, ok, I know I am “over thinking” and over reacting, but that is me. Just another one of my zillion flaws that I need to work on. (don’t you just feel sorry for my wife??)

You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that I sound like you just before a binge. It is a good thing this was a weekday morning. If it were a Saturday or Sunday I would have had a hard time resisting the binge. No doubt about that whatsoever. Only it would be more remorse and self-loathing than calling myself a fat loser. I’d go way beyond that.

I know that the scale gets in my way. I can’t seem to avoid it. I need the daily reinforcement. Whether it is positive or negative.

I am a fairly intelligent person. I KNOW I did not gain 2 pounds over night, and I KNOW I am eating correctly and exercising… That just makes it harder for me to understand. If someone could only break it down and tell me that “this hormone reacted with xyz or this combo of food and water had this reaction in your body….” Then I would know what to change. The practical man inside me desperately wants to hear some finite evidence.

Right now I’m just feeling frustrated. A great mood to binge on I know. I won’t however. I feel in good control right now and I don’t feel a binge coming on. Isn’t that funny?

If I were my own kid what would I do?? That side of my brain is empty and I can hear the crickets chirping…. I get your point. I, of course, would encourage them to be more patient and to take stock in the great achievement that has taken place to date. I would say what I do to my daughter all the time… “Don’t worry, be happy.”

I’ll try harder. Thanks for the hug.

[TaDa!]

I get it! One thing that has been helpful to me is to simply think how much better I feel and look in my clothes right now as compared to New Year's day when everything was just busting out all over, lol!

"Don't worry, be happy" ... yah, that is definitely the zen state I am personally trying to achieve (without the aid of the ganja unfortunately ... and much much harder I would think!) ...

Pauline

[monet0329]

GOOD MORNING Alex..

Hope your having a good day and the scale is nice to you this am,,.. if not.. it will happen ..

Pauline has some great advice..

[Colo Alex]

The scale is the Devil... 211.4 today. Still not back to 210 of Friday and Saturday. I'm TRYING to be patient.

[TaDa!]

Hey Alex! It'll be ok. The scale is a notorious liar. Just keep on keeping on!!!

Pauline

[Colo Alex]

Hi Pauline.... I don't know why I don't just throw the damn thing out?