GApeach's (It's All about Accountability) Journal

[GApeach23]

Main Entry: ac·count·abil·i·ty
Function: noun
Pronunciation: &-"kaun-t&-'bi-l&-te
: the quality or state of being accountable ; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions.

Yep, that's what I need accountability, so I'm writing it down on the boards. First let me say I HATE keeping a journal or diary, don't know where that comes from except for the fact that I've known alot of people that kept the little written ones that came back to bite them in the @ss when someone got a hold of it that shouldn't have...............LOL.

A little history on the PEACH, I've been low carbing on and off for 7 years, should have been to goal long before now. I once came within 5 pounds of goal then life got in the way, yeah right, I caved and went back to my old (bad) habits.

Growing up I NEVER had a problem with being over weight, in fact for years I was teased because I was too skinny. I was very active as a child and a teen, grew up in a condo complex that had a pool and tennis courts and plenty of kids to run around with, it was alot of fun growing up in a place like that. Looking back I never stayed inside as a kid or teen, usually would grab a sandwich or something quick on the fly and keep on trucking. Growing up I couldn't tell you what size clothes I wore or even how much I weighed and that is even through my teen years, it was never an issue or anything that I had to even think about. My only problem is that I needed boobs.........heehee. Other than that I was okay with myself. My nickname in highschool was "legs" because everyone said that's all you could see when I was coming or going.

This trend continued through my 20's. Unfortunately, I was married and divorced twice by the age of 24, had my first daughter at 22, after my second divorce it was time to enjoy myself and I kept thin by working alot and dancing the night away in clubs, I stayed very thin, still not really keeping up with a number on the scale or even what size clothes I wore.

Fast forward to around the age of 32 (had my second and last child, a daughter at 29), married again (also for the last time....I hope...LOL) and I guess I got lazy or life just slowed down for me. Of course the dancing in clubs came to a halt and that had been my only means of "exercise" for years, but it had worked. So I started piling on the pounds. It made me angry because I had lost the pregnancy weight without much effort and now 3 years after my 2nd daughter was born I started piling on the weight, what gives???? Probably turning into a couch potato and eating the way I always ate (yep, you can't really do that and stay thin, especially as you age).

So, in March of 1999 I bought Dr. Atkins paperback book at Wal-Mart. Did really great in the beginning then fell off the wagon because I got tired of eating the same old things. Somewhere along the way, I think in early 2002 (maybe earlier) I found Lowcarbfriends.com. It was a God send, lots of nice people and recipes to keep from getting bored.

I've since discovered that I've become an emotional eater (this is new for me, never was like that until a few years ago) and the biggest problems I have is stress, boredom and anger. Those 3 emotions will have me pigging out in no time if I don't watch myself.

So I begin my journal..........I'm now working from home, helping DH with his expanding business that he operates from home, right now we only have one computer and he uses it around 18 hours a day for the business, so now I have to get on the thing when I can, but I will try and make entries at least once a day and probably more as time allows. Hopfully soon we will get a second computer and the problem will be solved.

I will record my weight daily (I must weigh everyday to keep myself on track, I've long since given up the mood swings the ups and downs of daily weighing use to bring), I use it simply as a tool now, knowing that there could be a 1-3 pound swing from day to day.

I will enter my menu's and will enter every little thing that goes into my mouth as well as the daily ounces of water. Now mind you this may be later in the day of evening since my menu's often change depending on what I'm in the mood to eat.

So here we go, hope you'll enjoy MY JOURNEY!!!!!

Edited to Add: Wanted to add my age (41) and that I've got about 25 pounds to lose to get to my goal. Once I hit 160 I may continue to 150 (I'll see how I feel when I reach 160). Highest weight 218, current weight 184.5. I'm 5'8", so that just about answers everything I hope.

Oh and BTW, after reading over my first entry, I wanted to add that I wasn't a stripper or anything, I had to laugh when I re-read about dancing in clubs, it was purely "partying" in nightclubs. Although, had I known how much weight I would eventually gain I've often thought about the fact that I should have been a stripper to help pay my way through college instead of working two jobs...............LOL.

[GApeach23]

Just popping in for a second, sat in the sun today, it was nice sunny and breezy. Exercised with hand weights and did some walking. Planning on walking around the block shortly if I can manage it, I'm a little sore from yesterdays workouts.

Have been really wanting to eat today and wanting junk as in candy and potatoes.............ugh. Trying to keep strong, it's 6:09pm now and I finished supper for the family (homemade mashed potatoes, they look so good and some black eyed peas, man do I miss things like this), we have a bunch of grilled meat and chicken that DH grilled up yesterday. So for supper that's what I'll be eating the meat and maybe some green beans.

I've decided to try a little experiment. M/E fast on Mon., Tues., and Wed. Then Kimkins on Thurs., Fri., and Sat. Sunday maybe a free day when I eat a little sweets or complex carbs.

I'll try this little experiment for 2 weeks to see how I do. I've been reading with interest that some people think you have to "shake" thinks up and "carb cycle" so your body doesn't get use to eating the same things. Much like you can't do the same exercises every single day or the same exercise routine forever (your body adapts and you stop improving) sounds reasonable to me, what the heck.

I'll post my menu shortly.

[GApeach23]

Down another pound, that makes 9 pounds down since last Monday.

Got up this morning and walked about a mile, then did upper body work out with weights. Feels GREAT.

Today's menu is a follows (however I did stray a little from M/E but I feel it is still a good menu for today).

B-Raisin Bran Cereal w/ 1/2 cup skim milk
L-4 devil egg halves
D-6 oz. grilled Salmon and 1/2 cup cottage cheese

Total calories are only 919
Fat 39 grams (40%)
Carbs 60 grams (25%)
Protein 77 grams (35%)

So as you can see it isn't "M/E", but I'm still going on the Mon.-Wed., similiar to the above menu except I'll probably add a little more meat or salmon, at least bring the calories up some.

Then on Thur., Fri., and Sat., above plus add 2 cups lettuce and .5 cup cooked veggie.

Sun. Same as above but may add a few nuts or something.

I WILL NOT be eating cereal everyday either, I will alternate that with scrambled eggs and turkey bacon.

Also will continue to drink at least 100 ounces of water, one small glass of diet rite at night.

Take multivitamin and potassium tabs.

Continue work out 6 days a week.

Also will measure tomorrow and post those, although I totally dread doing that.....................UGH!!!!!

[lexus4me]

Hello GApeach, I loved your stripper comment Made me think about those days when I use to go out and party ALL night, too be that young again... it that how the weight stayed off? LOL

I love Turkey bacon!!!! I can't eat pig bacon anymore, I use to have to force myself to eat the pig bacon...not anymore.

You are doing wonderful thought I would stop by and say KUTGW

[GApeach23]

Lexus, thanks, yep to be young again, I attribute dancing all night to staying thin in my 20's most definately. I'd go out and close down the clubs at least 4-5 nights a week, then during the summer I'd stay at the lake swimming, boating and sunning, yep those were the days.................LOL.

And same for me on the turkey bacon (I likes mine very crispy), I cannot stand "regular" bacon anymore.

Glad you enjoyed the stripper comment..............

[GApeach23]

Okay, I've pasted a major test or hurdle tonight. Tomorrow is DH's birthday and I made him a chocolate cake with tons of chocolate icing. I did this while he was at baseball (yeah, I mean baseball, she's a tom boy and is one of only two girls on the team, she wouldn't play "girlie" softball) practice with our DD. Usually when he's home he licks the beaters and bowl (can you believe that the 12 year old doesn't really care to lick the bowl or beaters? What's up with that?, she must have been switched at birth............LOL), anyhoo, as I made the cake, I had a cup of water in the sink ready for the beaters and in the water they went I DID NOT LICK THEM..........



Same with the bowl, I immediately squirted dish soap in that before I was tempted.

Then...............drum roll..............after they got home and DD and I sang "happy birthday" to the old fart..............just joking.........NOT.....
they both ate a huge slice of cake and I ATE NONE!!!!!!

Thank Goodness TOM has left town just yesterday or I'm sure all bets would be off.

Now here's hoping that the darn cake doesn't call my name the rest of the week. DH has such a huge sweet tooth though (which ought to be totally against the law especiallly when you eat all you want and don't gain an ounce) I'm sure I can talk him in to eating 3 or 4 pieces a day so it will be gone faster.....

[lexus4me]

Good For you on not letting it get to you! I would have caved big time of course I PMS-ing big time...

My hubbie is the same way tall and not overweight he can eat ANYTHING and not gain he has been wearing the same size jeans since forever! a slim 32 I just dream of being sooo darn lucky.

We use to have a couple of wave runners until last summer and it was a good whole body workout most of all the legs just trying to hang on At least for me it was. We took them to Lake Thurmond one time while camping at the Military camp site there. I am from SC

Well kudos to you on a job well done

[GApeach23]

Haahaa Lex.....My DH wears a 32 inch waist jean too.

Had to laugh about "Lake Thurmond", of course on the Georgia side we still call it Clark Hill!!!!!!!!!!

Actually going to try and get DH to "skip" work tomorrow so he can go to Clark Hill with me. I'm really wanting to go, laying out in the yard isn't cutting it with tomorrow reaching 80 degrees.

Anyway, today hasn't been as kind to me as yesterday as far as the eating and appetite.

First of all, I haven't caved to the cake or the thousands of bags of M&M's, or hershey nuggets (the dark chocolate kind with almonds), or the doughnuts and the list goes on. DH has a really large sweet tooth and I'm not going to ask him to "suffer" because I have control problems with chocolate. Actually the doughnuts could sit here all day, I'm not a doughnut eater or an ice cream eater thank goodness because there are 4, yes FOUR half gallons of ice cream in the freezer now.

But now back to the food and appetite. Yesterday I was not hungry at all, today I could have eaten the side off the house, what gives???

So here is what I've eaten so far, it's now 5:45pm and I'll probably eat a little something else before 7pm.

B-6 oz. Grilled Salmon w/ 1/2 cup of cottage cheese
S-1.5 devilled eggs and 4 oz. lean pork loin
L-1 cup Special K (low carb), 1/2 tsp honey, 3/4 skim milk
S-15 mini pretzels (very bad, but I needed crunch!!!) & a Quaker bar

See and that's with no dinner yet. Let me jump over to fit day and get my totals so far. I already know that it is way too high on carbs, so tomorrow will have to be under 20 carbs for sure which means no cottage cheese or Special K..........sigh.

Totals so far (remember no dinner yet, oh boy)

Calories: 1455
Carbs: 91 grams (23%)
Fat: 60 grams (38%)
Protein: 134 grams (38%)

Yuck, I knew it wouldn't be pretty and yesterdays calories were like 919, hmmm and even though my carbs are higher today gram wise, they are actually lower today % wise.

I don't know how this will effect my weight loss, oh I almost forgot to update my weight. I was actually 183 this morning, so that's 10 pounds down since last Monday 4-3-06!!!!!

[GApeach23]

WTH is wrong with me???? Remember how well I did yesterday? Wasn't hungry, didn't over eat or eat mindlessly.

Well, I've made up for it today I guess, or maybe I was so horrible today because I ate so little yesterday, who knows? I'm going crazy.

So pass the gun, it's time to bite the bullet.

Well, after passing up the chocolate birthday cake yesterday (not even licking the beaters), I broke down and ate a slice tonight. Damnit!!!!!

You know I posted that my "triggers" were stress, boredom, and anger. Well, I wasn't stressed today, wasn't angry for the most part (LOL), but I was pretty bored. My car has been out of commission for several weeks and DH has to "drive" me around because the only other vehicle we have is a stick shift truck and I don't do "stick shift", don't ask long story.

I need to get the hell out of this house and away from this man for a while, the 24/7 thing with anyone person is too much for me.

Hoping I do better tomorrow.

[lexus4me]

WOW 10 lbs is GREAT! and I know how hard it is to stay away from the food when you are bored.

Good Luck!

[GApeach23]

Well, today is far better than yesterday so far. It's 3:55pm and so far today
993 calories
Fat 49 grams (46%)
Carbs 46 grams (17%)
Protein 88 grams (37%)

DH and I didn't get to go to the lake today, did lay out in the yard and put lemon juice on my hair to lighten it some, turned out nice.

Also got in my 20 minutes of cardio (fast pace walking the neighborhood).

Will do situps tonight.

I'm feeling pretty good today, I just need my car repaired before I lose my mind.

Hope the weight is back down tomorrow and not up a little more, I know sometimes it takes a couple of days for a "bad" day of eating to show up completely on the scales.

[GApeach23]

Well, been very busy today. That is always good for me not over eating. It's 1:21pm and so far today I've had.......

B-5 oz. salmon w/ 1/2 cup cottage cheese
L-1 chicken hot dog, no bun, no sides

Less than 500 calories so far according to fitday.

Got up this morning and went shopping for DD's Easter basket stuff, she's 12 and doesn't believe but I feel like kids should continue to get things on holiday's as long as they live at home and probably even after they move out.



Also going to her baseball practice with her and DH today. Baked cupcakes, so far they aren't tempting me. DD and DH wanted me to make them for the practice today, decorated them for Easter. It's nice not working a "real job" right now, I'm able to do more MOM things than I've ever been able to do in the past. It's a shame my girls are 18 and 12 now, but better late than NEVER.

Going to sit in the sun and let the sun work the conditioner in my hair and chill while I listen to some music.

Haven't done well on getting my water in today though, been too busy and away from home and toilets, so I'll have to make up for that later.

Back later to complete my fitday entry.

[GApeach23]

It's 7:38pm, finished yesterday without eating off plan, feels good, was starving last night though for some reason, had 2 deviled egg halves and one ounce of cheese around 9:00pm.

Weight stayed the same, but I know I will not lose everyday.

Today has been good, my sister and my little niece came over and got in to a little blow up pool, she's almost 3 so she had a ball. I got more sun, I think I'm as dark as I can get.........



Today's eating has been great with ONE exception, we were out running around before getting in the pool and I stopped and got a Subway sandwich, I hadn't had one in a while and it was sooooo good, but one little 6 inch sub (ham and turkey) filled me up so much, so I'm sure my appetite has "shrank".

BTW, I tried a diet Rock Star energy drink. What's up with all of these drinks for energy that I've tried????? I do not get anymore energy, I think they are full of BS. One day I'll give up trying them.....LOL.

Did get my cardio in first thing this morning before anyone else in the house got up.

Also found out that Blake Shelton is coming to town on May 7th, got to go see him, he is so CUTE!!!!!!

May be back later, going to watch Trading Spouses in a moment.

Happy Good Friday.................all and all it's been a GREAT DAY.

[GApeach23]

Back up a pound today, was probably the salt in the subsandwich, who knows.

Something else is up with me today. I'm mad at the world for some reason, feels like severe PMS, but it's not nearly that time yet.

I'm not only mad, I feel sad, not depressed, just sad and mad and like I don't give a damn about anything.

What's up with this? I don't know. I'm not the type that easily gets "depressed" and I don't feel depressed, just sad and mad.



One thing is being stuck at home all the time I guess, DH still hasn't figured out what's wrong with my car and he doesn't seem like he's in all that hurry to figure it out. It's almost like he enjoys having what little "control" he can have over me by not repairing the damn car.

That's okay, there's more than one way to skin a cat. The car will be repaired one way or another and SOON. I am not the type to stay "caged" up anywhere for long. I've got to get away from this house.

Maybe that's all it is, I'm use to coming and going as I please and I haven't had that pleasure lately.

This too shall pass as they say. It's onward and upward..........with everything but my weight I hope.

Been up and down this same pound for days now, however I do feel as my waist and upper abd have gone down. I had DH measure me a few days ago and really don't like to measure more than once a month, but if the scale continues it's bobbing around I may re-measure soon just for sanity sake.

Well off to read some more on the boards and hope to pull myself out of this FUNK soon.

Eating wise is going okay today, I actually don't feel that hungry. Had breakfast and water, haven't had lunch yet and it's 1:04pm (DH just went to get DD from baseball practice) I may sit in the sun for a little while today, but maybe not it is already 88 degress out there. Although I'm pretty tanned already sitting in the sun seems to "lift" my spirits, maybe it's the extra vitamin D.........



Later

[GApeach23]

Finally feeling better. DD wanted me to sit in the sun while she played around in the pool. Didn't really feel like it but I knew she really wanted me too and boy and I'm glad I did.....

She'd probably kill me if she knew I was posting this on here but y'all don't know her and it really was the reason I finally got in a better mood, it was the first of many laughs today, it was great, so here goes the "story".

She was putting on a layer of sunscreen because she hadn't been out in the sun at all this year and I didn't want her to burn. She is 12 and decided she wanted a bikini this year, no problem she has the skinny little body for it, so she's putting on her sunscreen and I ask her to walk outside with me to help me set up my lounge chair and the boom box etc.

We'd both been outside about 5-6 minutes and all the sudden she starts screaming and running toward the front yard. She'd been outside the entire 5-6 minutes in our FRONT yard without her top on. I was so busy I hadn't even noticed it, and apparently she had been in such a hurry to help me she didn't even think about it.

It was sooooooo funny, it embarrassed her but it was so funny. Good thing she takes after her dear ole mom and doesn't have boobs at 12, but still all the same she was so horrified, but it was the funniest thing I'd seen in FOREVER.



Anyway, had a small slice of DH birthday cake that I had made for his birthday earlier this week, only the 2nd slice in nearly a week, so it's all good, going back on strict M/E Monday.

Everyone have a HAPPY EASTER just in case I don't get a chance to check in tomorrow.

[GApeach23]

Hmmm, I was a bad girl today, guess I could have been worse, but I was bad enough. Had homemade mac and cheese, a slice of lemon cake and a brownie.

So tomorrow it is back on M/E, don't know how long I'll do it before going to a "Kimkins" type plan but I've got to really get serious. Before on M/E I lost 10 pounds in less than a week. This time around though I'm going to have to cut out the deviled eggs, way too many calories with the mayo, I just can't do that many calories and lose this close to goal.

So back to M/E, I hate to see my weight in the morning..........ugh.

Also going to only "chart" my weight on Monday's in my siggie, although I will continue to weigh daily and put that in my daily posts. It's just that the daily weights were getting too much at the bottom.

Had a great Easter, spent time with my family, we had a good time, just sitting on the porch rocking and shooting the chit.

Back in A.M. with my weight.

[GApeach23]

Hmmm, I'm back after a day of not journaling, I told you in the beginning I wasn't a big journaler, but I've made it back.

Also back to the M/E at least until Friday. Going to do some research on the Master Cleanse, I did a water fast last year for 14 days, it went well except when I broke the fast I didn't break it wisely and went back to "normal" eating right away. You are suppose to go back slowly with broths and veggies, so if I do decide on the Master Cleanse I will break it correctly. And I'll probably start that on Monday, maybe Sunday.

Todays eating has gone well.

B- 2 scrambled eggs w/pam and 5 slices turkey bacon
S- 3 slices turkey bacon
L- 7 oz. baked chicken
D- 2 scrambled eggs w/pam and probably a little more chicken

I'll go plug this in to fiday shortly.

DH still hasn't figured out what is wrong with my car, so of course he hasn't repaired the damn thing yet. I really think he likes holding me hostage at home, it is really starting to get on my last nerve. I walk and I lay in the sun (except we've had terrible storms today with hail and terrible lightening) so no sun today and it's suppose to be like this on and off until Sunday.

I'll be BACK............. (In my best Arnold voice)

[GApeach23]

Wow, it's been a while since I've written (typed) in my journal.

DH has been hogging the computer about 18 hours a day, I can't get on here much at all anymore.

We are going to have to get a second computer and a router, I guess.

Woe just plain stinks. I'm going to have to give up the notion of M/E, I'm finding it way too restrictive and therefore eating off plan before I get through one day.

Today started induction levels again. I will stay on this at least 2 weeks, I have got to get back into ketosis so I will not be constantly thinking about food.

Wish I could be on the computer more, it really does help to be able to come and check in here.

DD is at home sick today so DH has taken her to the doctor, that gives me a little time to come and read the boards.

Car still not repaired, DH is also still pushing me to my limit with all of his "work" laying around the house. I've been fighting this pack-rat (sloppy) crap for so long, I'm at the end of my rope, I'm even having chest pains today (no not my heart, just stress and anxiety). It's a shame to have to really draw the line and tell him that I WILL DIVORCE him if he doesn't get this crap up out of my living space. I cannot and will not take it any longer.

Well, off to read some good advice of the boards before I'm kicked off the computer for the day................sigh.

[GApeach23]

So far so good today with the eating anyway.

B- 3 scrambled eggs with 1/4 cup sharp cheese and 5 slices turkey bacon

L- 6 oz. baked chicken

S- chicken salad

D- ????????

DD has strep throat and is now on antibiotics, has to stay out of school again tomorrow, can go back to school Friday, but they are having CRCT testing this week and I hate that she'll have to make up 2 days of that. She is also going to miss her 2nd baseball game, but they might call the game off, we are having severe thunderstorms.

Oh well, mood some better, I'm off to read more of the boards.

[GApeach23]

It has been a while since I posted in my journal, I knew I'd have problems posting, never have been one for journals or a diary.

DH's business is really going well therefore NO computer time for me at all. It's finally 11:31pm and I'm getting a chance to come on after a long absence because he is finally asleep.

Woe not going well at all at the moment. I did pretty good today with eating and got tons of exercise. Been spring cleaning and then mowed the lawn.

I'll do better as the time progresses, just haven't been able to get a handle on it this time, I just don't know why, except that my life is just completely turned upside down right now with alot of things.

Going to get better and do better from here on out.

Hope to be able to pop in more often and at least journal once a day.

Goodnight.

[GApeach23]

Oh boy, what a sad day in PEACHVILLE!!!!!!!!!

Just see my current weight and you'll know why.


Don't know why I can't get my mind back on track, so for that reason I will now start a major COMPETITION with my sister SusieQ12. We have started this morning and are going to see how much weight we can lose. I have always loved a good competition, it really motivates me to do well in anything that I do, so here we go.

She will come on here to my journal and post her notes as to how she is doing in the competition, of course I'm going to WIN!!!!



So it's now on like Donkey Kong.................

So miss SusieQ, give it your best shot, cause you are going to need it....

Update your current weight and lets rock and roll, and may the best WOMAN WIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Yippee, now that'll get your blood flowing. We can weigh daily, as you know I'm addicted to that, but as you suggested we will go from Monday to Monday, or Monday to Friday, which ever you prefer.

Ladies start your engines..............we are OFF.

[SusieQ12]

I'm here. I haven't forgot. I have just been swamped at work.

I have taken a big step (for me at least) and put in my current stats. I haven't been doing that, as someone from my past knows I frequent this site and I never wanted that person to see my stats, just in case they ever wanted to be nosy. But at this point, I don't care. Like you said, it's all about accountability. Anyone with eyes can see that I need to lose weight, so whatever.

I figure we can go Monday to Monday. If we go Monday through Friday, then that might just give us both an excuse to be lax on the weekends, and that's what has been holding me back for so long. I do great during the week and then mess up and binge on the weekends. Well NO MORE OF THAT. As you are well aware, I am upset because at this time last year I was teetering between 155-160 pounds. So now none of my cute summer clothes fit anymore. SO YOU WATCH OUT! IT'S ON.

My menu of the day so far:

B - 3 scrambled eggs with a sprinkle of cheese
S - 1 TBSP peanut butter
L - one small grilled chicken breast / one hamburger patty
D - don't know yet
S - slushie w/sugar free cherry syrup

Oh and I've e-mailed Cheri to help me with a new avi. Wait and see.