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TaDa! 04-04-2006 05:50 AM

TaDa! The Lifelong Journey!!
I was overweight, obese actually nearly my entire life. I found Atkins in 2003 and lost a good portion of my weight in my first year. The next year and a half I spent battling my binge-eating problem and despite only eating Atkins-legal foods and trying to get back on plan 100% every single day, I found myself up by 20 pounds in September 2005 to 162.5 pounds and in size 12 stretch jeans that were getting too tight.

I decided to try and get back on plan in a novel way - for me - to up my calories from 1200 or so to 1600 and start my carbs at 40, when they had always been at 20 (when I was successfully losing weight). I decided to start up the carb ladder and add in carbs in 5 gm increments every couple of weeks as described in Dr. Atkins new Diet Revolution.

Fast forward to March 2006, 6 months later, and I am up to an average 1800 calories 70 carbs, reached GOAL February 10, 2006 and realized that I wanted to lose more fat. I am now about 7 lbs under goal having lost over 100 pounds and over 100 inches on this journey.

I have been keeping a private journal, but in addition to my old friends who have been with me for most of my journey are the new friends I have met here online who have helped me every single day of this journey in the past few months.

I will post a few extra days so that my current adventure makes sense and maybe little by little I will post excerpts from my older journal entries - notes from books I've read and other resources that have helped me.

Thank You My friends For All The Love and Support You Have Given Me Over the Years and Continue to Give Me Daily.



TaDa! 04-04-2006 06:00 AM

March 29, 2006

10:32 pm
I have decided to give a shot at the river trail tomorrow where the 10 mile race is in a week and a half ... I'll see how I like it and whether I want to do the race. The description says that there are a few streams to cross, steep hills, etc .. so a down and dirty cross-country run. I am not sure that this is the best idea for my first-ever 10 mile race, lol! when i haven't run in the woods in about a year! But anyway, I'll try for my usual 6 tomorrow and if I'm feeling up to it, may do as many as 8 miles of the course .. if I can find the right route, lol! Anyhow, I may be a bit disappointed if it looks like this is not the run for me ... we shall see!!

March 30, 2006

8:55 pm
Well I did it!!!!! And I'd have run the whole 10 if I'd have remembered which trails I'd taken exactly - kinda hard when you're trying to run fast too, lol! - and not taken some wrong turns on the way back shortening the last leg of it by a mile or less. I was absolutely thrilled this morning! and still am actually

Now I realize it was a really really good thing to do because I now know that there are some very tricky areas and I will have an idea of which areas of the course I should aim to run faster! I am concerned about the width of the trail at certain areas - like nothing, lol! - and how the other runners will pass me when necessary! I am a strong swimmer ... but I have not tested that after being exhausted from running! Actually the really crappy part about falling would be that much of the bank of the river is such that there'd be absolutely no way to climb back up to the trail ... I'd have to lose the sneaks and head downriver! LOL!!!

Hopefully I'll remember to bring a few towels with me on race day! Only 9 days away! One thing I noticed, the miles were like nothing in the woods. I think it would be much harder mentally on the road to do 10 or 13 miles. I couldn't see very far ahead of me, I was looking for trail markings and concentrating on whatever the task was at hand, just run and don't trip over roots, duck under a fallen log, jump over a fallen log, cross a stream while keeping your footing, making sure to lean away from the river and not fall in, looking to see what comes next as you can only see 10-20 feet in front of you, etc. I think, for me, it is entirely mental .. Maybe I will convert entirely to trail running where I started (albeit at a very slow private private jog) ..

My usual running partner would kill me though! She treats me almost like an additional spouse .. she is worried I will change my workout routine, move to another gym, etc etc. We spend half our time there yapping, and I like working out with her too, but I carry on no matter who or what is there and I think that makes her feel insecure ... anyhooooooo ...

My running partner sent me a nice email .. seems she ran the usual Friday hour today in solidarity so we can workout together tomorrow! The trainer/marathon guy Joe is usually there on Fridays, so I'll tell him about my run ... he's been hassling me to get out on the road and off the track if I want to race .. lol!! Just wait til he hears I went cross-country today! and am running a cc race in a week!!!!

I'll be sure to describe the hills which were like long treacherous cliffs since he avoids all marathons with hills ... well, he has, although he just qualified for Boston - which he plans to run next year.

I guess I'll sleep well tonight! I plan to re-read my ultramarathon books now that I finished the Sue Grafton one I was reading (S is for Silence). Glad I bought copies of them after taking them out of the library ... great inspiration!!!! If you read this journal be prepared for more inane running stories and quotes in the next week .... sorry! can't be helped!!!

In Shock ... I Just Had A Major WOL Victory ...

I had been toying with the idea of entering a 10 mile race or a half marathon (13 miles) and thought since I had only ever run 6 miles my longest distance (even though I run 30 miles a week), I'd want to try a 10 mile race ... well, 10 mile races are very rare. Most races are 10k (6.2 miles), half-marathon, marathon ...

So I did find one that is on April 8th .. but it turns out, not only is it 10 miles - a long distance for me - but it is a cross-country race where you get muddy and have to climb, run over tree roots, leap over logs etc. A few guys I know who are marathon runners told me I could totally do a 10miler, but then when I mentioned it was cross-country .. well, they looked a little less confident about that, lol! Even when I told them I used to run in the woods, just hadn't done it in about a year ...

So, with those men's worried looks in my head, I decided to try and find the route today and run it just to see whether I was having some kind of ketosis-induced delusions ... And I am proud to say I am back alive!

I just ran 9 miles in the woods over streams and rocks and steep hills - tripped twice, only fell once and not so bad, came close, but did not fall into the Merrimack River ... that is the longest I have ever run and it is much harder "cross-country" than it is on the road. Got lost a few times and that's why I ended up only doing about 9, but when I finished I felt like I could still run another couple of miles - still had it in me ... I cried in the car on the way home, I was so happy!!

Wow! I am on top of the world at this moment!!!! Dream it and you can do it!!!!

In answer to the question: Tada! So do you think you'll run the race?

yah, i think i will, lol!! I noticed this morning that it is sponsored by this company:


which sponsors a series of ultramarathons. Ultramarathons are races longer than a 26 mile marathon ... most are 50 or 100 mile races and the longest I know of is Badwater across Death Valley that is 129 miles, I think. Iam totally inspired by the crazy crazy supermen and women that do these races, so i think I will throw caution to the wind and go for it!

i will send in my entry today with a little note to the organizer saying that I aspire to be the official race "caboose." The folks who run this are probably all seasoned trail runners or good road runner, so I will be a real sore thumb sticking out! lol!! I am no lanky muscle and bone marathon tough guy.

My only hesitation .. the trail is quite narrow especially at some points with little cliffs over the river, and I know there will be tons of folks passing me on their way back to the finish/start line ... I am just a little fearful of getting knocked down a steep hill (and holy ***** they were not kidding when they said some steep hills), into a stream which we have to cross, or into the river - although I'm a good swimmer, lol!!!

anyhoooooooo you all may soon be rid of me, lol!!


The Reckless Low-Carber formerly known as Tada!

p.s. found this on last year's race:


I ran it this morning in 1:31

March 31, 2006

8:38 pm I am down a half pound this week! To 128.25! And, it is my usual Friday decision time, lol!

Mar 03..........132.50
Mar 10..........132.00..........-0.50 pound (Carb Ladder: Legume 3x)
Mar 17..........130.5......…..-1.50 pound (Carb Ladder: Legume 5x)
Mar 24..........128.75..........-1.75 pound (Carb Ladder: Banana 3x)
Mar 31..........128.25..........-0.50 pound (Carb Ladder: Banana 5x)

This is how the last "month" has looked. Taking into account the two weeks of large loss in the middle, the total loss which is 4.25 pounds - about the same as usual - and the fact that I had a loss this week despite the Friday night binge ... I am going to say that I can start starchy vegetables next week and up by 5 carbs to 70-75 net carbs/day ... but I have absolutely no idea what food to start with!! lol! I have to think on this one!!!!

I have decided to keep in the half banana as a daily food!!! and I have eaten beans three times this week. This, when I didn't even want to do fruits or legumes originally, lol!!

I have inadvertently had mashed turnip before, but without noticing the weight aspect since it was only on special occasions like Thanksgiving. I do love mashed turnip, but I am thinking of maybe making sweet potato fries. I guess I could fit in like 20 carbs of starchy veg and just eat one really lowcarb meal that day to make up for the added carbs ... easy enough to do that only 3x next week! Sweet potato is like 20 net gms for 4 oz … time to weigh a sweet potato to see if that is even a reasonable quantity to eat … lol! I won't do that if I end up with half a sweet potato fry as a portion!! That would be like eating a single potato chip … torture!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

In my excitement over the prospect of fulfilling my New Year's Resolution so soon (my December 31 post - to complete either a 10 mile or half-marathon), I have been doing some thinking. Why has the running become so god-awful important to me? It is something I do that most others - even very fit people - can only admire. They cannot, or more accurate to say: they will not, do it themselves. Why do something so hard when you do not have to?

No matter how great I look in clothes, I know I am aging. I know I have the effects of a life of obesity on my naked body ... but that is private and others - thankfully - cannot see it unless I want them to see it or know it. Despite my battlescars, I know I can make this here body do things 99% of fit beautiful 20-somethings cannot do because they do not have the will, the mental strength and drive to do it.

I will hurl my body at these challenges, take my lumps and bruises, and come out of it a head higher than before. How can a body and mind that pushes itself to its own limits in the quest for personal achievement every time not be considered beautiful??!

It is my secret to confidence, self-esteem, and my new devil-may-care attitude about looking perfect ... it is my Samson's hair ... but unlike Samson's hair, no one and nothing can take it away from me!

Why do it?! Because I can.

April 1, 2006

7:40 am Last night I allowed myself a little extra than my usual Friday night food and it seems to have done the trick in helping me avoid binge eating! I am also down slightly on the scale this morning. I feel great! It is such an incredible feeling to have Spring bursting around me, and coming out of hibernation from the cold winter thinner and more attractive than when I went in!

I am 34 pounds lighter than my get serious push in mid-September with people making comments to me on how good I look every single day at the gym, asking my advice … seeing the trainers always checking out what I am doing (which is counter to much of the training advice … long runs before weights, etc.).

It is also very exciting to be going up the carb ladder … onto starchy veggies this week and knowing that I will likely be in Maintenance very very shortly and on to a new chapter. I explained it yesterday to my friend, and in talking about it, I guess I actually developed a plan!

When I hit Maintenance, I will go get the metabolism test done at my gym to see what they come up with for maintenance calories and workout advice for maintenance and future fitness goals. Then, I am going to commit to ******'ing my food in maintenance for a minimum of four months and see how it goes. When I feel I can stay within my 5 pound Atkins "buffer" without meticulous record keeping, I will go out on a limb and test it out - using only my weight as a guide. And should I find it not working somehow, I can always go back to ****** for a few days to see where I am slipping up ..

A Plan!!! I love a plan!!!!!!!

4:04 pm I am so relieved I am done working out til Monday!! I need a break! I ran 32 miles this week thanks to the 9+ miler on Thursday … I'm not counting the fact that dh wants to drive up to New Hampsire to the White Mountains and hike tomorrow, lol!!! can't get too very far, too very fast with a five year old and a 10 year old in tow!! So it will not qualify as "exercise"! LOL!

At lunch today, I had my first Mcdonald's french fry in three years, lol ... it wasn't "all that"!!! The 3.5 oz sweet potato I fried later on was waaaaay better!!! The Mcdonald's fries are:

for a medium size Fry: 370 calories and 46 net carbs!!
for a small size Fry: 250 calories and 30 net carbs!!

So I had about 1 gm net carbs and about 10 calories in my french fry! LOL!! With the starchy veg add-in, I am up to 70-75 net carbs today ... kinda cool!!!

I did a little research on July road races for when I'm at the shore … might be fun to get in a few low mileage fast races! Looks like there are not any 10K or above!! It is kind of shocking since our area up here has so so so many very serious runners and races …

April 2, 2006

6:14 pm
We had a beautiful beautiful day at the beach … actually several beaches. We decided since it was the last day of Ski season up near where we wanted to go that it was likely a bit too cold for fun up there! LOL!!

There were plenty of people out flying kites and playing in the sand like we were. Here and there I noticed people who were my size when I first started this journey and even though they were able to cover up - I so know that feeling of relief - I could see what a struggle it was for them to walk down the beach, or grab their shirt in fear that god forbid the wind might lift it and reveal too much. It is funny, I never felt that walking was a struggle really then, but now knowing for the first time in my life what it is to be able to move freely unencumbered by my mass, I realize and I could just feel a pang of sorrow now and then for these kindred spirits and wished they could find their peace the way that I have.

I was so so so oblivious even though I had years of dieting experience, I had no idea what making change for myself really truly meant. I would cry for what I did not have, but it was for the superficial aspect -- the how I look aspect. I had no idea of how truly deprived of my own life I really was.

Still, it was a beautiful beautiful day.

TaDa! 04-04-2006 06:04 AM

April 3, 2006

6:00 pm
I realized while ******'ing that one of the entries was wrong and so I actually had 85 carbs on Saturday - my first sweet potato add-in day! LOL!! Of course, I figure this out with only one meal left to go and so not easy to compensate so I don't do the same thing today! I ended up eating Sherataki fettucine noodles with extra garlic, eggplant, mozzarella, parmesan, sauce - and it was good! We'll see what tomorrow brings on the scale - between the potato and the noodles - but I think I'll pick up some more at the store next time I'm there! Great that Sandy reminded me about Sherataki noodles today!

I have been re-reading Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes and it is even more meaningful to me this read through … and will give me something to think about as I slog through the mud on Saturday … we are due quite a bit of rain between then and now! It will possibly turn into real Rambo stuff .. I just noticed a picture of runners fording a more major streamlet near a beaver dam - that I went around on my training run … uh oh! But I'm looking forward to it now!!


During Dean's first 100 Mile "Western States Endurance Run":

"It struck me that in the space of a few steps that my past as I knew it ceased to exist. Nothing would ever be the same to me from this point on. I'd been profoundly transformed by this journey, in ways I had yet to understand. This person who was staggering and crawling and persisting at mile 99 was a different being than the guy who had started the race just yesterday morning. I was more capable than I imagined, better than I ever thought I could be. This realization was like stepping into another dimension."

My latest feats of course pale in comparison, but the point of running is that there is no comparison. Unless you are a contender for first place finishes, you run for the Personal Best. My training run last week left me with this kind of profound revelation. I marveled at this new person who would go and do such a crazy thing when the common wisdom would prescribe a little 3 or 6 mile road race, not some slightly dangerous 10 mile trail run when you'd never competed in a trail run and never run 10 miles in your life! lol!

I sincerely think it is entirely Dean Karnazes' fault I find myself doing this right now. The man is crazy …

Crazy like a Fox!



calories: 1726
carbs: 75
fats: 110 59%

Run: 60 minutes Fast Run

*as of 3/31. Next weigh-in on 4/7/06

ddog27 04-04-2006 06:18 AM

You are doing great Pauline!! You are such an inspiration!! Keep it up! :clap: :notwrthy: :up:

Btru2self 04-04-2006 06:26 AM

Hello , I am sooo glad to see you have a journal I think you are such an Awesome example of determination and consistency.
KUTGW and take care.


TaDa! 04-04-2006 01:38 PM

Awww Thanks DDog!!! Thanks Btru2self!!! I'm not feeling very accomplished today as I try to do my taxes ... and it's not even my taxes, it's only the organizer to get to the accountant ...

:) P

TaDa! 04-04-2006 07:09 PM

April 4, 2006

9:45 pm
What a wonderful start I had to my day. I lent my Atkins Diet Revolution book to a young woman in my daughter's preschool a month or two ago. She was waiting for me as I dropped my little one into the room, so excited because she had five days of induction done. She was full of questions and worries about whether she was doing things correctly and I answered her questions and told her not to worry that she was doing just fine. She wants to lose 25 pounds … lol! I'd have been thrilled to be at her current weight my entire life! LOL!!! She looks very normal. Anyhow, she was so grateful to me for my help, and I could tell she was just bursting to speak to me when I walked in late. It really felt good to be able to pay it forward in person, lol! Not just via the ether so to speak.

I had a great run today at the track and a good weights session but my time in the gym is taking longer and longer these days as people stop to chat with me .. somehow connecting with people when they need something from me, just my ear, or my friendship seems so much more important these days than anything else going on. It is a much better take on life to spend it in enjoyment of the moment, not chasing after the rats in the rat race.

And then there's my man Dean again ….

OK and as if there wasn't enough to love about the man, he lowcarbs when he's not eating whole large pizzas and cheesecakes, carb-loading, while running down the highway to run 100s of miles in the span of a few days. I should have known that his particular brand of insanity would be this alluring to me, when I read a few chapters to dh and the kids, and dh put up, what I would call "The Defensive Male" posture and said, "yah, he makes a lot of that stuff up!" ;)


"my normal training diet was a strict regime of slow-carbohydrate foods, high-quality protein, and good fats. Since becoming a devoted endurance athlete, I'd followed what could best be described as a controlled-carb diet, consuming only carbohydrates that were metabolized slowly and provided lasting energy. All simple sugars had been completely eliminated; a single jelly bean could send me into a glycemic tizzy."

A glycemic tizzy? Superman gets into glycemic tizzies?!!!! He's not just an athlete .. he lowcarbs too … He's a GOD!!!! <sigh>



calories: 1705
carbs: 67
fats: 110 59%

Run: 40 minutes Fast Run
Weights: 40 minutes (Upper Body)

*as of 3/31. Next weigh-in on 4/7/06

trans4mation2005 04-05-2006 12:29 PM

I think a journal is one of the most important things on this site.. if you scan down the names of the regular journal keepers.. you will see a lot of success.. you are a true inspiration to someone like me who has over 100 lbs to lose.. I know its hard for anyone to lose.. even 10.. but 100 seems so daunting... but how can anyone say.. it is impossible.. when you are a living example that it is possible.. it is always easier to go down a road .. once someone has paved it

also .. I am hoping to run a 5k this summer.. sometime..so I am interested in running.. why God gave us legs..and you are always talking about your running.. so your posts are fun.. thanks

TaDa! 04-05-2006 04:14 PM

Thanks very much Russell. You are very sweet! It is funny, I have been talking about running a lot lately! lol!!! The last few weeks in my journal, but I do talk about other things sometimes too, lol lol!!! not that I've proven that to anyone here lately :)

I would have never believed it was possible for me to lose 100 lbs and get to my current weight unless I had done it myself. Atkins really has been a lifesaver for me as have my online lowcarb community. I was so miserable for so long, it is uplifting to take matters into your hands and act!

Congratulations on your weightloss too!! I have no doubt you will get to a 5K if it is something you want for yourself!

:) Pauline

TaDa! 04-05-2006 05:33 PM

April 5, 2006

8:12 pm
Hello! My name is Pauline and I am an UltraMarathon groupie … So I finish re-reading Ultramarathon Man last night and suddenly find a post on carb loading for endurance runs this morning - a post by Ddog over on Muscle Matters - so I head over to google and start googling "lowcarb and running", but the links it finds are all from lowcarb boards … and me, I want to hear it from regular 'ol runners … well I finally figure out the right words to google in the right sequence and find myself, of all places, in the midst of a thread on the topic by … yep you guessed it … ultramarathon runners.

I read through it, as confused if not more when I finish it .. head over to the homepage (I simply cannot stop myself) and wonder of wonders I find a post on my latest fear: I'm gonna be freezing my hiney off and wet come Saturday (there's been a sudden drop in temperature, strong rains and snows that surely have wreaked havoc on the old race route, and cold temps and rain called for at race time). So by now, I am rooted to the spot taking in information on rubbing your feet with cayenne pepper, wearing plastic bags, double socks, $25 socks and so on and so on and so on.

I'm thinking google has suddenly become an instrument of the lord and divine providence has a message for me and that message is: "Run! Run in the Mud! Ya know you want to Pauline ….."

Well of course, and then there's Satan saying "Yah! Carbo Load Baby! The Big Boys do it. Why shouldn't you??"

Bottom Line? Haven't thought of one yet. But it was more fun than writing about how I finished my taxes and ate half a sweet potato with lunch today.



calories: 1883
carbs: 81
fats: 113 55%

Run: 40 minutes Fast Run
Weights: 40 minutes (Lower Body)

*as of 3/31. Next weigh-in on 4/7/06

beachguy 04-06-2006 09:12 AM

TaDa! - Just read through your journal and you sure make me smile. I've always loved crazy women and you certainly are crazy. On the down side, I was so inspired by your posts that I threw caution to the wind and worked out with abandon this morning, not content to just lift weights - I had to throw them into the air. When I can't get out of bed tomorrow, I probably won't still be smiling.

Keep inspiring.


valentine21463 04-06-2006 11:52 AM

Hello! I'm so glad you started a jounal. I've always enjoyed reading your posts in the ML. ;)

TaDa! 04-06-2006 12:49 PM


Originally Posted by beachguy
TaDa! - Just read through your journal and you sure make me smile. I've always loved crazy women and you certainly are crazy. On the down side, I was so inspired by your posts that I threw caution to the wind and worked out with abandon this morning, not content to just lift weights - I had to throw them into the air. When I can't get out of bed tomorrow, I probably won't still be smiling.

Awwwwww!!! Thanks Rich!!!! I luvs me a man who throws around the weights!!!! As you've read, I require a good dose of inspiration myself to keep up the crazy antics!!! Always looking for another good non-fiction adventure tale of woe and cayenne pepper!!! Stay tuned for full description of mud-covered carb-deprived novice trail-running woman in a few short days ...

{{{MWAH}}} <- Big Fat Kiss from the Crazy Woman!!

TaDa! 04-06-2006 12:53 PM


Originally Posted by valentine21463
Hello! I'm so glad you started a jounal. I've always enjoyed reading your posts in the ML.

Thanks Valentine! Good to know I don't irritate every single person online :hyst:

Looks like we have a lot in common! We could both be considered shorties ... actually we could both be considered middle-aged, but decidedly attractive, shorties!! Thanks for popping in!

:) Pauline

p.s. oh hey ... I wonder if this is my mid-life crisis? or must it be something more spectacular? :confused:

ddog27 04-06-2006 02:27 PM


Originally Posted by TaDa!
Thanks Valentine! Good to know I don't irritate every single person online :hyst:

Looks like we have a lot in common! We could both be considered shorties ... actually we could both be considered middle-aged, but decidedly attractive, shorties!! Thanks for popping in!

:) Pauline

p.s. oh hey ... I wonder if this is my mid-life crisis? or must it be something more spectacular? :confused:

How tall are you Pauline?

TaDa! 04-06-2006 03:12 PM

five foot three and a quarter inches ...

but who's counting??!!!!


TaDa! 04-06-2006 05:33 PM

April 6, 2006

8:45 am
I just saw a segment on TV with an interview of Hal Niedzviecki, author of Hello, I'm Special, a book on " How Individuality Became The New Conformity."

From the interview the book would appear to be about how society and popular culture (reality tv, etc.) are all feeding us the concept that we are all special .. but beyond that, feeding the young the expectation that they will be a pop star, a movie star, a millionaire … setting them up for resulting depression and disillusionment when the reality is that most of us will always be the spectators. The Paradox of Individuality. Fascinating topic.

I think I did have these notions due to my upbringing. Maybe with another element … The crutch. If only I wasn't fat, I would be <fill in the blank>. And the older I got, maybe it was not a conscious thing, but deep beneath, was the feeling that I did not count because I had less or did less than others, that there were "paths not taken" in my life and the reason was the unfairness of being "fat." Absurd on many levels - one can only take one path at a time and who knows where it will lead… true on others - I was actually told I'd have to lose weight to work for X, during an actual interview, even though they were interested in me … so much for that possible career path! lol!

Part of my awakening has been the realization that I am not less than anyone else on this earth and that I do not have to compete with "others" - these faceless nameless people that supposedly have "achieved" so much more than I. Paths not taken were not taken because I chose to wallow in self-pity and not do what it would have taken to make those choices. Maybe I did not have the life skills needed at the time, but truth be told I did not really try, I did not make it an all-consuming goal, because I know I do achieve anything I truly choose to take on.

In the past couple of years, I have chosen to practice what I preach to my children and that is: to be the best I can be, to revel in my wonderful, but ordinary life and to reach for my own extraordinary achievements, never stopping to worry about how I measure up to anyone else but myself. It is all smoke and mirrors. There are many many people who wish they could be me. In my ordinary way, I have exactly what they find lacking in their life.

Success is putting the focus on what we do have, not on what we do not have.


What I do have:

Incredible parents, sisters aunts, cousins and upbringing. People who supported me throughout my life and still do to this day.

A happy stable marriage to a good man who has made our life together a true partnership.

The ability to stay at home to take care of my family and still be able to afford the neccessities and not-so-necessities of life.

Beautiful incredible little girls who have given me the precious precious gift of their trust, sharing their deepest darkest secrets, sharing their love and their little lives with their Mom.

The ability to make a perceivable difference in the world every single day in the small universe I traverse. The feeling of being needed, of making a difference in people's lives, every single day of my existence. Extraordinary in itself.

Relative financial stability if not wealth.

The newfound ability to see every single moment in life as a gift and feel joy in the simple things in life.

The unbelievable achievement of pulling myself from depths of despair and feelings of worthlessness to achieve a life's victory over desperation and obesity. A life's accomplishment in middle age where few ever get to experience such a profound personal achievement dependant only on their own drive and perseverance. Personal proof that I am extraordinary.

The drive to reach ever higher to work towards feats of personal achievement and life experience - the commitment to be the best Me I can be.

The choice I have made to embrace life - to use my intellect and talents as a "blessing" in my life, to enhance life in whatever way I can, understanding that making my small universe better is akin to any of the great feats or accomplishments of any of the world's great men and women.


I suppose I could go on and on and on ad inifinitum, ad nauseaum. In general, aren't we all, after all, our own favorite subject? … And then there's me who has actually worked on this ….. an experiment on self-esteem gone mad! Well from what I have seen of those who achieve big, they are all pretty much ego-maniacs … so I'm just gonna go with it ….



calories: 1667
carbs: 55
fats: 107 60%

Run: 40 minutes 9.5 minute mile
Weights: 40 minutes (Upper Body)

*as of 3/31. Next weigh-in on 4/7/06

TaDa! 04-07-2006 06:09 PM

April 7, 2006

11:00 am
There's a man at the gym who told me yesterday to stop losing weight. He kept saying how perfect I am and that I shouldn't go up or down - but to stay right where I am. So sweet … but adding, of course, to all my confusion over when to call it "Maintenance." This is not the first such comment I have had … and anticipate the same reaction when I visit my aunt, uncle and cousins next week …

I have had an additional "sign" this week. My food was all over the place with calories and carbs - not consistent to make a scientific pronouncement on the success or failure of the sweet potato add-in, but I appear to have gotten close to my Atkins CCLL/CCLM -- the point at which additional carbs mean weight gain. I was up to 70-75 carbs this week (well, in theory, that is). In actuality, my average carb level was in that range: 74 carbs, 1894 calorie (the week's average) and am up .75 pound today from last Friday's weigh-in. On the positive side, I am down a half inch in my hips/abdomen and .25 inch in the upper arm!! These are two places I like inch loss! lol!!!!

As far as next week, the plan is to start on Sunday with daily sweet potato add-in, keeping carbs at 70 carbs to see what happens and to try and keep the calories fairly constant. The only blip in the science experiment will be today, for sure. After a lot of reading, I have decided to do a small carb-loading this evening to attempt to get some glycogen and water into my muscles for tomorrow's 10 mile race. I would not bother to try this for the first time if it were a shorter race, but I think it is worth doing as long as I do not go overboard! So, I will head from this week's 75 carbs to a whopping 100 net carbs today with entirely clean carbs. The add-ins that will put me over are sweet potato in addition to all my regular vegetables, a whole banana and an extra 1 oz serving of nuts. If all goes as planned, I will have a weight gain tomorrow morning. If not, I guess I will try to get some extra water in, in the a.m.

The plan is to eat a normal breakfast and half banana before the race -which is what I had been eating pre-workout prior to this on the premise that you cannot really add to your glycogen that close to race time … it will just sit in my stomach unless I do liquid .. and liquid means sugar, not slow carbs so … anyhooo … that is the plan so far!

As far as clothing … aack! I had a plan after my training run, but I guess I have to wait and see what the weather brings tomorrow. Rain is pretty much for sure … the question is how much, and will it be freezing bone-chilling rain … <sigh> I guess the decision will have to be made tomorrow!

8:37 pm
Ok I just ate a large banana and I am stuffed to the gills! 107 carbs worth actually. So that's it! Off to do a little reading maybe and listen to my hypnotherapy tape … oh yeah, forgot to journal about that … well, tonight is day 3 of listening to it. It is a tape I've had kicking around for about 15 years … lol! But the guy whose voice is on it is now very familiar to me and well, I'm afraid he does manage to hypnotize me. The topic is "Rejuvenation" and I figured it couldn't hurt my running -- can't seem to find the weightloss one … but hey, the weightloss one didn’t help me way back when … you know! I wish I could find out where he is now - I'd like to replace that weightloss one and see what other ones he offers. His name is Alexander Giorgio and was from Tucson, AZ ….



calories: 2117
carbs: 107
fats: 126 55%

Rest Day (pre-race)

*as of 4/7/06. Next weigh-in on 4/14/06

beachguy 04-08-2006 05:49 AM

Good luck tomorrow Pauline. In spirit, I will be there yelling for you.

[COLOR=RED]"RUN, CRAZY LADY, RUN!"[/COLOR] :clap: :clap: :clap:

valentine21463 04-08-2006 06:07 AM

So you're a runner? Can I ask when you started running and how old you are? I've considered starting running but I feel like at 43 I'm too old. ;)

TaDa! 04-08-2006 10:16 AM

Thanks so much Beachguy!!! I knew there was someone there with me ... finished with a little backache! LOL!!!!!

Valentine, you are absolutely the right age to start running! I started running for real around age 39/40. I turn 41 next week ... and I just met a guy who runs marathons ... He is pretty fast ... he started running at age 47 and will be running the Boston Marathon (one of the toughest) in a couple of weeks.

From people I have met, it looks like a lot of folks start running or jogging in mid-life!!!! But if you want to start, start very very slowly and conservatively and worrk up to it. I began simply by walking very fast - aerobically. As I got fitter, I would jog very short distances during my walks (sometimes at the exact same speed as I walked, lol!!!). Little by little the jogging intervals increased and the walking intervals decreased. Before I knew it, I was a jogger ... Kept it up, and as I lost weight got faster and faster ... and somewhere along the line I turned into a runner.

If you do a search on the net, there are programs called "couch to 10k"(6.2 mile race) and "couch to 5k" (3.1 mile race). Even if you do not want to race, these are good programs if you like or need structure to help you along.


:) Pauline

TaDa! 04-08-2006 05:48 PM

April 8, 2006

8:10 pm
I did really well. It was a slightly different route than my training run - a lot more very steep hills and dangerous downhills and a lot of large mud puddles/streams which for some reason my right foot really enjoyed stepping in! LOL! It got dunked three times but sock and shoe dried out by the end of the race (thank goodness for good socks and sneakers!!).

My time was slow - if I compare it to running on the road! Finishing in about 1hour 43 minutes, but I was ahead of a good amount of people .. yay! And yapped the whole way with different people, lol! (who I then passed when the time was right to make my move :D)

It was very slow going at the beginning with people being very prissy about the stream crossings and standing in a line to cross on a log at the first one ... forget that!!! I jumped right in the stream and up the opposite bank! It was actually very funny later on when I realized all the mud we had to slog through ... those people really wasted a lot of time on the beginning stream crossings! lol!!

At the beginning I thought there was only one really bad hill because I had not gone the right way on my training run, so when I was in a pack of people slowly climbing it (it was steep), I decided the pain would be more mentally taxing if I did it slowly, so I yelled "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH" and barreled right up the hill (of course a few of the men decided that was too much of a challenge and so they followed me right up, joking that "You must live around here" Which of course I do! LOL!!!).

That bravado was very short-lived I promise you!!! The following hills were even longer and steeper and I did have to climb! I fell once, tripped once, have all kinds of cuts and scratches, I'm not sure where from, lol!!! I was happy that I was not at the back, though, by any means!

When I saw I was at mile 9, and was very unhappy with my time at that point, I decided to "go for it" and actually sprinted the last mile losing the last little pack I was running with and passing a few others along the way to finish ahead of them, including one fit looking guy (45 yo) -- I just could not let him finish ahead of me ... he finished a good few seconds behind! heh heh heh!

One guy told me that the amount of energy expended on that cross country race where we had to climb, cross streambeds, leap over logs, etc was the equivalent to the energy needed to complete a half-marathon (13 miles) on the road, so I am going to take that as gospel and be happy even though I did nowhere near a 9 minute mile .... Perhaps there is a half-marathon in my future?? or maybe not

DH was astonished to hear that I had completed my New Year's Resolution for 2006! I'm a happy girl! DH did shoot some snaps which I'll post at some point this week ... especially the one of me SMILING as I come up to the finish line ALONE!!!!

I am going to record my food choices for the past two days here as my little carb load appeared to work great!! There is no way I could have pulled off that last mile sprint, I don't think, without a little glycogen in the muscles!

Friday Carb Load Day
(from the regular 70 net carbs/1800 calories to 107 net carbs/2110 calories for the day.)

morningstart bar
1 oz walnuts
2 c. coffee + 4T 1% milk

8 oz shrimp, 3 oz onion, 10 oz spinach, 4 oz sweet potato (add-in), 1T olive oil
2 c. coffee + 4T 1% milk

1 oz walnuts (add-in)

1 c yogourt, flax seed, ground flax, walnuts, and wheat bran

17 oz eggplant, .33 c tomato puree, 1 T olive oil
2 oz mozzarella, 1T parmesan

Snack 8:30 pm:
Large Banana (add-in)

Saturday Race Day
(70 net carbs)

breakfast 6:30 a.m
morningstart bar
1 oz walnuts
2c coffee + 4T 1% milk

snack 7:30 am
whey 1 scoop + 1/4 c. yogourt smoothie

Race 9:00 am

Post-Race 11:00 am
1/2 small banana
whey 1 scoop + 1/4 c. yogourt smoothie



calories: 1945
carbs: 70
fats: 121 57%

Run: 1 hour 43 minutes

*as of 4/7/06. Next weigh-in on 4/14/06

valentine21463 04-09-2006 07:03 AM

That is so Excellent! :clap: I truley enjoyed reading about your race! Makes me want to start running. ;)

lexus4me 04-09-2006 02:21 PM

TaDa Thank you for the lil nudges you have given me and Congratulations on your lose and control of the binge monster. I for one am glad you are here :)

TaDa! 04-09-2006 06:51 PM

Thanks very much Valentine! It does get addictive ... watch out! I posted some advice on getting started a couple of posts up from this one in this thread.

Thanks for stopping in Lexus!! If I can ever help in any way, or share what I did in certain instances, etc. for comparison's sake, feel free to pm me or flag me down! You're doing really great!!!!


April 9, 2006

10:00 am
I'm down 2 pounds below siggy weight to 127! and spent the morning figuring out my carb ladder foods for the week. I will add starchy veg all week this time (except for Thursday) but instead of sweet potato, I have decided on 1/2 cup of pumpkin! Just made it with 1 oz cream cheese, caramel da vincis and cinnamon and I really enjoyed it!! I am hoping to stay closer to consistent calories/carbs for a true experiment! Since I had a 2 lb whoosh this morning though, I may still have to do this for 2 weeks .. but that's ok with me!

In order to get that in and a half banana which I now enjoy after dinner I will cut out my protein shake this week and eat my pumpkin pudding at the gym ... that should be interesting!!!! LOL!!!! But they are all well used to my weird ways by now …. I entertain them there!

I was starting to resent the sweet potato - not big on those I guess! So it's good to have a new plan!!

8:22 pm We went out for my favorite! Indian food at lunch today and I had a big meal! Palak Paneer and Tandoori Shrimp. So not 100% sure on food counts etc. but it was all lc as far as I know. My usual food. So tomorrow's weigh-in may skew results yet again … I sound like a broken record … Anyhow, we know that I can count on the rest of the week being more controllable …

Official race results are in and ……

Most Amusing Race Statistic: I just saw that the oldest participant (a man aged 76) and the only one in the 70+ category beat my time by 37 SECONDS I guess now I have a goal for next year's race :hyst:

Most Heartening Race Statistic: I placed 25th out of 47 women in the race, half of those I bested were younger than me by 10+ years.

Other Stats:

40+ female winner beat me by 23 minutes

50+ female winner beat my time by 18 minutes

60+ female winner … I beat by 13 minutes
(and her time was a course record for 60+ female)

I also placed ahead of 40 other men and women runners including a number of 20-somethings … yay me!



Food (based on educated guess today)
calories: 1945
carbs: 70
fats: 121 57%

Run: 1 hour 43 minutes

*as of 4/7/06. Next weigh-in on 4/14/06

trans4mation2005 04-09-2006 09:24 PM

you either gotta improve or say you are 61 next time if ya want a trophy :laugh:

half the people are setting goals to beat your time though ;)

TaDa! 04-10-2006 05:41 AM

Thanks for the words of encouragement Russell!!!!!! But ... Nah, I won't be saying I'm 61 next time .... they don't give out trophies ... it's homemade cheesecakes at this event and well, that's the only reason I ran a slower time, because I have high moral standards and would not compromise my Atkins for athletic glory ... so I actually ran it at an easy pace simply to avoid cheesecake ....

and I'm sticking with that story!!!!



nina_2021 04-10-2006 05:57 AM

All I can say is WOW!!! You are a true inspiration. I am where you began, I think, and I hope that one day to have the success you have had. Best of luck!

trans4mation2005 04-10-2006 06:38 AM

plus they wouldn't beleive you-re 61 anyways Pauline.

That's my story, that's my story
Well I ain't got a witness I can't prove it but
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it

TaDa! 04-11-2006 04:35 AM

Nina, you can totally do it!!! I didn't believe I could ever lose it or keep it off .. but if we change our attitude to what this means as a lifelong attitude shift, it is amazing what we can do!! KUTGGW!

Shucks Russell :blush: Thanks!!!!!


April 9, 2006

Word of advice: Not such a good idea to go shopping in fancy shmancy market at 10 pm at night utterly exhausted! Ended up with a not-so-tasty jar of large olives stuffed with blue cheese and ate a few before bed …. Thirsty thirsty day!!!!!!!!!



calories: 1861
carbs: 70
fats: 119 61%

Run: 60 minutes fast

*as of 4/7/06. Next weigh-in on 4/14/06

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