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Old 06-02-2012, 04:44 AM   #1531
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Saturday June 2, 2012

Had a good day yesterday - did end up going for a run and food is on track. Tomorrow is my Atkinsversary I just realized, lol!! And my two year TOPS anniversary is in two weeks .. hmmm good stuff!!

I also got working some more on my older daughter's closet before she got home from school. Over the last year I have gotten both kids' junk and areas more organized and gotten them into better habits all around which is a big accomplishment when dealing with teens and preteens!

It is pouring buckets right now, so I suspect all the crazy afternoon plans will be off .. a soccer game with the little one, and driving 6 or 7 teens to the seaside .. I am sure I will be driving those teens somewhere though .. aack!! hopefully not here to this house!! hahahaaa!!!!!

Last edited by TaDa!; 06-02-2012 at 04:46 AM..
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:28 PM   #1532
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Happy Atkinsversary Pauline!!

It's lashing rain here this morning, but it's travel day for me so just doing my last-minute packing up and all. GREAT job getting out for a run and keeping the food on track.
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Old 06-03-2012, 08:03 AM   #1533
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Cammie, Thanks for the support! One day at a time for us, eh?!

Have a great great trip and celebration with Dad!!!!
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Old 06-03-2012, 03:53 PM   #1534
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Sunday June 3, 2012

Nine years on Atkins and eight years as a "normal" person. The hardest part has been losing (or shall we say 'rejecting') my crutch; the food gorging/abuse that can numb me and the obesity that once served as the excuse for my every failing. Very sobering to face life without crutches .. and suddenly become aware of the denial employed by others to justify themselves ...

lol, it might not sound it, but I swear I am in a good mood, lol! Happy Atkinsversary to me!
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Old 06-04-2012, 02:43 AM   #1535
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
Sunday June 3, 2012

Nine years on Atkins and eight years as a "normal" person. The hardest part has been losing (or shall we say 'rejecting') my crutch; the food gorging/abuse that can numb me and the obesity that once served as the excuse for my every failing. Very sobering to face life without crutches .. and suddenly become aware of the denial employed by others to justify themselves ...

lol, it might not sound it, but I swear I am in a good mood, lol! Happy Atkinsversary to me!
Congratulations, Pauline, on your remarkable milestone achievements. You have EVERY reason to be proud for not only achieving these goals and overcoming obstacles (yes, you have -- and you continue to), but for maintaining and staying true to your newfound life. This is who you were MEANT to be, not the other woman that held you captive all those years. You wear it proudly. You've set a remarkable example for so many others. And you've so eloquently stated the profound truths regarding the "crutches" of life.

Well, done, my friend.



By the way, I subscribe to Tosca Reno's blog on my blog reader, and I think of you almost every time I read her blog. Much of her blog is devoted to vegetarian lifestyle, recipes, etc. Do you know about her blog? You should check it out.

Have a fabulous week.

T
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Old 06-04-2012, 05:24 AM   #1536
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Thanks so much Twyla ... it is now officially a mutual admiration society, lol!!! I checked out Tosca's blog and it seems pretty cool! Thank You! Of course it helped that the first thing I saw was quinoa .. which I just adore, lol! What is a blog reader?! I am sooo out of the loop most of the time, lol!
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Old 06-04-2012, 11:58 AM   #1537
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Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
Thanks so much Twyla ... it is now officially a mutual admiration society, lol!!! I checked out Tosca's blog and it seems pretty cool! Thank You! Of course it helped that the first thing I saw was quinoa .. which I just adore, lol! What is a blog reader?! I am sooo out of the loop most of the time, lol!
Yep, I like quinoa too -- still have to focus intently on pronouning it correctly, rather than the way it appears. LOL

Blog reader: It's a tool that Google Blogger has that provides updates of blogs directly to the "Google Reader List" within your blog, automatically showing you updates to all the blogs you follow or that you've subscribed to. That way you don't have to blog surf, the blogs come to YOU. Unless you're just surfing to be surfing, of course.

I like reading Tosca's blog, but I notice recently that most every post is usually discussing vegan topics. You will love following her blog.
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Old 06-04-2012, 04:25 PM   #1538
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Hi Pauline, I just happen to come across this as I was searching on the word "vegan". I missed reading our posts.

Congratulations on your anniversary yesterday. Take care.
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:06 PM   #1539
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Twyla Thanks! The Blog reader sounds cool! I will check it out .. much easier to get notified of new posts than to be checking consistently!

Mary I miss talking with you on the challenge thread too. I am really glad that you came in here!! I just pm'ed you. I miss talking with you too P
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:14 AM   #1540
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June 6, 2012

This week is going pretty well so far! Kids have a half day today and big dd started drivers ed on Monday so my whole driving schedule has totally changed. I have to go to the gym as soon as the kids leave the house this morning to be back in time for them coming home around 11 .. eep!

My tops meeting was quite good yesterday - but I fear it might be my last home one til September ... I just do not know what will be happening with the kids' schedules - this time of year is absolutely insaaaaaaane!

I have been having a lot of crazy thoughts spinning around my head the last few months .. probably the same kind of stuff that had me in denial for so many years. The difference being that I am fighting it and refusing to let it win and that is a very tough thing! lol it is actually very helpful that I have to keep my weight down for TOPS or else lose my maintaining record there .. two years next week with that group. Someone just received their 10 year pendant yesterday and I find that kind of thing has -- in a silly way -- become incentive for me which is really great.

That maintainer confided in me yesterday that she is having a lot of trouble right now and is at the top of her "leeway" (you go over your weight and you start back at year one), so I guess this is stuff we all cope with. If a person had a serious weight problem to begin with, it only makes sense that the tendencies will always be there in the background waiting to surface when life throws curveballs - as it has been doing for me.

Anyhow, doing well lately despite the head drama - just way more thought and "discipline" involved (ugh) than I have had to do in a long long time. S'ok, I will get through it!!
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Old 06-07-2012, 03:58 AM   #1541
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Thursday June 7, 2012

It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

Elinor Smith,
record-breaking female aviator of the 1900s
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Old 06-07-2012, 11:12 PM   #1542
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Congratulations on your AtkinsAnniversary Pauline ... miss you and your amazing advice on the challenge thread. Loved reading your journal. You are such an inspiration and thank you so much for sharing
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:31 AM   #1543
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Hi Cindy! Thanks so much for the kind words. You are a sweetheart!! I'm sorry I am not participating in the challenge anymore. I just did not like the changes in the character of it after the New Year. I felt it was no longer the type of supportive challenge I had started a year before. I stuck it out the last two, but finally had my last straw and decided that I did not want my name associated with it.

Many of the fellow challengers I enjoyed also moved on during that time -- but it is good the people who enjoy that type of challenge are still carrying on and you have a group you still enjoy.

You are always welcome to come chat here if you want to find me! And I will still be around posting on the century club posts, etc as usual - I will always look for your posts! I also miss talking to you!!! keep up the great work!!!!!! Pauline
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Old 06-13-2012, 04:09 PM   #1544
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Wednesday June 13, 2012

I'm doing pretty well -- still in a gym funk, but have been running outdoors the last few days which is great! Today was pouring pouring rain and I thought it might be dangerous to run out here on the windy forest roads and through the huge puddles, so I took myself to a local track and ran in circles, lol ... I was proud of myself when I finished even if I could not make myself go to a gym and brave the fluorescents.

Yesterday I made the most amazing palaak paneer in the crockpot. I made homemade paneer the day before and then the crockpot palaak paneer the next day ... the family just went nuts on it, lol! I had tweaked a recipe I found and my tweaks came out really well! When I am not so lazy I will write it down, lol! I think my next culinary attempt will be paneer masala - also in the crockpot, but I will probably use mexican farmer's cheese instead of also making paneer. The homemade was really good, but I need to make these things just a little easier..
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Old 06-27-2012, 02:01 PM   #1545
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Wednesday June 27, 2012

I'm down at my folks' house at the beach this week and next and am having a great time. I am very much on top of food and exercise at the moment and am treating these two weeks kind of like boot camp .. I've worked out 5 days in a row and am on track for a whole 7 days this week. It is really nice to be at a different gym. I am just hoping I can figure out what to do when I get back .. my kids' activity needs in the mornings (for 6 weeks after I return) are going to be a little crazy which may only give me a tiny time slot to work out .. but I am determined to figure it all out! I can't waste this great "zone" I am currently in!
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:51 PM   #1546
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Tuesday July 3, 2012

Doing great! only a few more days til I am back home. DH took off a few days and is coming down tonight for the rest of the time, so that should be more fun .. we are going to go rent kayaks and go ocean kayaking .. and maybe go walk around some fun towns down here etc etc ... I have put him on warning that we are going to the gym tomorrow, or at least I am (he might prefer a run) . . lol! it will be a good change to have dh around - DM is driving me up the wall - she is soooo invasive! Luckily I have not been letting it bother me and having "food" effects on me ... I just hide when necessary .. reminds me of my teenage years ...
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:11 AM   #1547
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Good for you Pauline! I remember from last summer that this was a very challenging time for you - extra kudos for resisting the "food" effects (LOL).

I've got a little over six weeks of my "quiet time" left before the next trip and am trying to get to a good place so I can survive a week with the parents WITHOUT resorting to food (binged on sugar/carbs for 11 days last trip).

Hope you had a great 4th!
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:15 AM   #1548
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Old 07-06-2012, 02:02 PM   #1549
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{{{Cammie}}} I hope you have a great trip!!! You can change how it was from last time .. awareness of what happened can go a long way .. that's how I have been changing the way things happen when I am here.

I'll probably be going on holiday in about 6 weeks too . was going to be Ireland, but we changed plans and will probably go to Mexico or the Dominican Republic. We can send one another brain waves of strength!!

hey Keytones!

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Old 07-18-2012, 11:10 PM   #1550
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Thanks Pauline. I'm sure you've heard what a crap summer we're having here so your change of plan is probably for the best! I can use brain waves of strength... not too many of my own left at the minute LOL... but I'll send what I can!
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Old 07-23-2012, 06:42 AM   #1551
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subscribing !

What an awesome history you have and you should be very proud of yourself. !

I'm 5'2" and weigh 134.0 ~~~ with goal being 122.0 ~~ you are a great role model !
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Old 07-25-2012, 06:20 PM   #1552
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I haven't been around a lot and came back to read a little.

Congratulations on your 9 year Atkinsversary! You are still one of my favorite inspirations!!!
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Old 08-05-2012, 05:41 AM   #1553
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Cammie we should send strength waves to one another, lol! I can use them too! I hope your summer weather improves!

Thanks shelby'snana! Nice to meet you!

Hey GardenGirl! I hope all is going well for you. I haven't been around much either .. summer is my crazy time! Nice to see you

Sunday August 5, 2012

So we decided to go to jamaica to an all-inclusive so that should work out fine for me as I seem to have the whole food thing down for all-inclusives. I'll try to swim for exercise and hopefully that will help keep the fitness level up some! My kids are extremely busy this summer and my schedule is all off-kilter, but I am coping minute by minute, lol!
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:45 PM   #1554
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Have a great time in Jamaica! Have you been to this place before?
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Old 08-06-2012, 03:10 AM   #1555
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Hi Pauline,
I wanted to drop you a line to say that I have gradually been changing to vegetarian. I had meat once in the last month. I have experimented with TVP, tofu, eggs and cheese as well as my old standby, Greek yogurt. I don't miss it most days. Once during vacation, I had an oz of bacon with my scrambled eggs. I am not doing it as a philosophy yet as I haven't read any of the horrific books on animal cruelty, but mostly that I can get the same or more protein from non-animal sources and high fiber, lowering my total calories in the long run.

This all started from using ****** as you suggested. I had stalled dor at least six months last winter. Since the end of May when I changed, I have lost around 10 lbs total, so I am thrilled.

I hope you enjoy the trip to Jamaica. Do you plan to see the sights and enjoy the scenery?
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Old 08-23-2012, 09:01 PM   #1556
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Hey Pauline! I sent you a pm...

So, are you in Jamaica now? If not, when do you go? Seems pretty exciting!

We're still toying with the idea of a 14 day cruise to and from Hawaii in December. We had planned to go last year but then just didn't feel like it. That may sound odd, but we've lost 5 family members and two dear friends in the last couple years, plus had that huge tree fall on our home. So we've been stressed to the max and not really wanting to do much. But it might be time soon!

Please keep us updated on your trip.

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Old 11-18-2012, 10:04 AM   #1557
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Thank you for this, TaDa!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
April 6, 2006

8:45 am
I just saw a segment on TV with an interview of Hal Niedzviecki, author of Hello, I'm Special, a book on " How Individuality Became The New Conformity."

From the interview the book would appear to be about how society and popular culture (reality tv, etc.) are all feeding us the concept that we are all special .. but beyond that, feeding the young the expectation that they will be a pop star, a movie star, a millionaire … setting them up for resulting depression and disillusionment when the reality is that most of us will always be the spectators. The Paradox of Individuality. Fascinating topic.

I think I did have these notions due to my upbringing. Maybe with another element … The crutch. If only I wasn't fat, I would be <fill in the blank>. And the older I got, maybe it was not a conscious thing, but deep beneath, was the feeling that I did not count because I had less or did less than others, that there were "paths not taken" in my life and the reason was the unfairness of being "fat." Absurd on many levels - one can only take one path at a time and who knows where it will lead… true on others - I was actually told I'd have to lose weight to work for X, during an actual interview, even though they were interested in me … so much for that possible career path! lol!

Part of my awakening has been the realization that I am not less than anyone else on this earth and that I do not have to compete with "others" - these faceless nameless people that supposedly have "achieved" so much more than I. Paths not taken were not taken because I chose to wallow in self-pity and not do what it would have taken to make those choices. Maybe I did not have the life skills needed at the time, but truth be told I did not really try, I did not make it an all-consuming goal, because I know I do achieve anything I truly choose to take on.

In the past couple of years, I have chosen to practice what I preach to my children and that is: to be the best I can be, to revel in my wonderful, but ordinary life and to reach for my own extraordinary achievements, never stopping to worry about how I measure up to anyone else but myself. It is all smoke and mirrors. There are many many people who wish they could be me. In my ordinary way, I have exactly what they find lacking in their life.

Success is putting the focus on what we do have, not on what we do not have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What I do have:

Incredible parents, sisters aunts, cousins and upbringing. People who supported me throughout my life and still do to this day.

A happy stable marriage to a good man who has made our life together a true partnership.

The ability to stay at home to take care of my family and still be able to afford the neccessities and not-so-necessities of life.

Beautiful incredible little girls who have given me the precious precious gift of their trust, sharing their deepest darkest secrets, sharing their love and their little lives with their Mom.

The ability to make a perceivable difference in the world every single day in the small universe I traverse. The feeling of being needed, of making a difference in people's lives, every single day of my existence. Extraordinary in itself.

Relative financial stability if not wealth.

The newfound ability to see every single moment in life as a gift and feel joy in the simple things in life.

The unbelievable achievement of pulling myself from depths of despair and feelings of worthlessness to achieve a life's victory over desperation and obesity. A life's accomplishment in middle age where few ever get to experience such a profound personal achievement dependant only on their own drive and perseverance. Personal proof that I am extraordinary.

The drive to reach ever higher to work towards feats of personal achievement and life experience - the commitment to be the best Me I can be.

The choice I have made to embrace life - to use my intellect and talents as a "blessing" in my life, to enhance life in whatever way I can, understanding that making my small universe better is akin to any of the great feats or accomplishments of any of the world's great men and women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I suppose I could go on and on and on ad inifinitum, ad nauseaum. In general, aren't we all, after all, our own favorite subject? … And then there's me who has actually worked on this ….. an experiment on self-esteem gone mad! Well from what I have seen of those who achieve big, they are all pretty much ego-maniacs … so I'm just gonna go with it ….

----------------------------------

Weight:
128.25*

Food
calories: 1667
carbs: 55
fats: 107 60%

Exercise
Run: 40 minutes 9.5 minute mile
Weights: 40 minutes (Upper Body)

*as of 3/31. Next weigh-in on 4/7/06
I needed to read this more than you will ever know. I have been away from these boards for awhile and when I came back on this morning the first person I looked for was TaDa! And my Higher Power led me to this post. I hope you know how much you help people. I know this is an old post, but certainly one worth reading and re-reading.
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:13 PM   #1558
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Thanks for reposting, Peachlogic. TaDa! Thank you.
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:54 PM   #1559
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What a wonderful thing to repost! Hope things are going well for you!!
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Old 04-08-2013, 03:30 AM   #1560
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I see you haven't been here for a while, but in case you do come back...thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your progress with dealing with binging and dysfunctional eating is really inspirational.
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