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Old 12-26-2011, 06:03 PM   #1501
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I don't think it is silly at all. I think it is awesome! Your weight loss is amazing but your ability to keep it off is phenomenal. You, sister, are the winner!
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:57 AM   #1502
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lol it is just something fun to do once a year! Thanks Alex! You are a great cheerleader!!!! I hope your post-Christmas push downward is going well!

December 27, 2011

I have dieted for the first time in a year and a half for the past two days, and I am down from the top of my range already, thankfully! I was up to 132 and I got quite a fright by seeing that on the scale .. eeep!!! I'm back to 130ish and am going to make myself get back to the bottom of my range for the New Year.

My weight has been fluctuating slightly higher in the last six months (around 130) and I wonder if it is peri-menopause as I am also getting the hot flashes at night ... bleccch. Anyhow, I **REFUSE** to let it affect my weightloss or progress. I can see how weight gain can be insidious at this level ..

I feel I look just as good at 132 as I do at 128 or 9 in this season's clothing. It is a slippery slope though and I am going to get back to where I like to be and then figure out if something will need to change to maintain it ... That scares me - but too damned bad, Pauline. You will do what you need to do.

Proactive. *I* will be the one to decide what happens to me in this one thing I can control / achieve. I will be empowered. I will be a a biggest loser next year too.

New Year's Resolution? Maybe.
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Old 12-29-2011, 12:47 PM   #1503
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Hi Pauline, I found your journal!

I hear you about peri-menopause. I am in full-fledged menopause now, but when I first started going through peri, I noticed I was starting to lose a lot more slowly than ever. Now that it's been over a year since meno hit, I find I am losing weight at my old pace again. Strange!

I am posting over on the Vegetarian board now. The South Beach board is awfully slow. It must be the time of year. I am happy with my decision to go veg.
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Old 12-30-2011, 04:11 AM   #1504
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Hi Kettle!!!! Happy to talk even if you choose not to do vegetarian .. or only do it some of the time, lol! I went over to the veg board and posted some

Friday December 30, 2011

I feel strongly on this subject and wanted to re-post my response to a posting of a New York Times Article: [url]http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/magazine/tara-parker-pope-fat-trap.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1[/url It is the same way I feel about the Gary Taubes obesity apologism and why I am not in love with him in the same way others are (although I wholeheartedly agree with his ultimate message).

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
I am convinced I have all these same "things against me" as are described in the article and i struggled my entire life - but am maintaining 91 pounds of my 108 loss for 7+ years, and the total of 108 for something like 2 of those years (I yo-yoed on those tough last pounds for a while).

It is nice to know they are researching why and how some of us have a propensity to put on weight. As much as it is good to know that I may have had more strikes against me that led me to 38 years of obesity and have a really awful propensity to put it back on, my preference is not to dwell on that. Rather, I choose to work hard and bust my butt to keep it off despite all the strikes against me - and it **can** be extremely challenging at times.

I think personal effort in finding out what each of you need to do to keep the weight off is the best way to spend your energy and drive. We are NOT doomed to be fat. We need to take this information and let it drive home the seriousness of how hard it will be once you get to that magic number that is goal weight - and let it drive home that you may need to do distasteful things like exercise to increase lean body mass and calorie-burning potential, do like OP and try to maintain a higher goal weight for a while, etc. Lowcarb, very low carb, paleo, atkins, etc etc etc are tools, not magical cure-alls ..

lol, apologies for the long post, but we are only victims of our physiology if we allow ourselves to wallow in the "unfairness" and we let these kinds of research serve as excuses rather than fuel our fire and desire to do this thing! You can all do this! Believe it!



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Old 12-30-2011, 07:54 AM   #1505
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I’m with you Pauline,

I, like so many others, have spent my life wondering why I am fat when others are not. I am sick of all the excuses. As a kid I ate as much or more than others and did not get nearly as much exercise, but I fooled myself into thinking that I did.

As a teen I’d go out with friends and find that they ate far more than I did (at least at that one particular meal) and conclude that my body just didn’t work as well as theirs did, that is why I was fat.

As a young man, I would starve myself to try and lose weight and get frustrated and gain and lose in a horrible cycle all the while searching for the “reason” I was fat.

“How can my brother-in-law eat like that and be so skinny? I just don’t understand.” Well, he plays basketball every night and golf on the weekends and is active; I on the other hand sat around like a slug.

The hope, the desperate need to find a reason for my obesity beyond the obvious created an even bigger problem... I became morbidly obese.

We search and search for the reason when it is so awfully simple. Eat less, eat healthy and exercise. I truly believe it is that simple.

Now there are many reasons that cause this not to happen. There in lies the deep, dark issues that no one really wants to look at.

We become fat because we eat too much and eat poorly and do not get enough exercise. Why we do this is different for each person and that is the true “diet” we must go on. I think the food and exercise is simple, it is the mental side that is so incredibly difficult and painful.

We can’t make excuses for why we act badly and damage our bodies. We have to work on why we do it and recognize that we are doing it.

If I am wired to turn to food for comfort and turn to food in times of turmoil or happiness or turn to food for any reason, then I need to work on those issues. It is not the food; it is the issue that is driving me to the food. I don’t believe that my body processes food any differently than anyone else’s body. I do think that it craves food in a different way and my abnormal brain is wired differently than others, but I got fat because of what and how I ate and my sedentary lifestyle, not some hidden, undiscovered physical aspect.

To quote the Eagles we need to just “get over it.”

Sorry for the rant!
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Old 12-30-2011, 08:00 AM   #1506
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Thanks so much for posting that Alex .. no need to apologize .. it was beautiful .. and wow how I love this!!!!

....We become fat because we eat too much and eat poorly and do not get enough exercise. Why we do this is different for each person and that is the true “diet” we must go on.....

Food for thought today!
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Old 01-01-2012, 09:14 AM   #1507
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Hi Pauline, I had a piece of turkey sausage this morning...and it just did not sit well with me for many reasons I won't go into for lack of space. I guess this is a true journey and learning experience, and I won't beat myself up over this. I'm moving forward.

I'm not sure if I read the article you're referring to in the Times...I will definitely have to read it later. But Pauline you might be interested in this onehttp://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/32/5/791.full.pdf
This article talks about type 2 diabetes, but to me, more importantly it talks about how vegetarians are more prone to lower weights. Also interestingly, less diabetes totally unrelated to BMI! That's a new one!

I keep finding these articles and they are fascinating.

Pauline, I'm on the fence about Gary Taubes and also a few others in the low carb community who mock vegetarians. And boy, are they out there. Yes, in the end I really do agree with Gary's message, but the vegetarian path is always ignored.

One thing I love about Dr. Agatston is that he fully acknowledges the health value of being a vegetarian, and he's not afraid to print it. His new book spends a few paragraphs saying you can't dispute the superior health benefit of a vegetarian diet. Not to say there aren't fat vegetarians, but looking at the bigger picture, according to statistics, there are definitely fewer of them.

Oh well, there's room enough for all of us. I hear Dr. Atkins new cookbook has a chapter on vegetarianism. I thought you'd be interested!

I say there's room for all of us no matter how we do it!
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Old 01-01-2012, 09:15 AM   #1508
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Alex, what a heartfelt post. I totally agree...we need to "get over it"!!!!

Happy New year to everyone reading this!
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Old 01-03-2012, 05:34 PM   #1509
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Very cool info putthekettleon! I think I need to re-read South Beach, lol! have a copy here!

January 3, 2012

Self: I am hungry for more
Self: No, you are not hungry
Self: Oh yes I am. Why did you feed them at 8:00 and not me
Self: They all just got home
Self: Yeah, I guess
Self: You are not hungry. You are tired. You need to hop into bed with your book.
Self: You are right, I think, but I know I am tired of arguing with you. You are a pain in the ass. I'm going to bed but I am still hungry

Good night!
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:16 AM   #1510
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Too funny Pauline. I have this argument on more than one occasion and the mind always wins! Like you, my inner chat ends with me saying, "yeah, but I'm still hungry and the reply is, no you're not, you just think you are"! To which the reply is, okay then I'm not hungry. Sort of like, is the glass half empty is or it half full? You choose, errr....I mean let the mind game begin!
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Old 01-04-2012, 08:32 AM   #1511
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
Self: I am hungry for more
Self: No, you are not hungry
Self: Oh yes I am. Why did you feed them at 8:00 and not me
Self: They all just got home
Self: Yeah, I guess
Self: You are not hungry. You are tired. You need to hop into bed with your book.
Self: You are right, I think, but I know I am tired of arguing with you. You are a pain in the ass. I'm going to bed but I am still hungry

Good night!
Hahaha! Funny. Reminds me of the Eagles song “Get over it.” When he says he’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass!

The inner debate rages on and on and on and on.........
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Old 01-04-2012, 09:45 AM   #1512
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Yah, lol!!! I doooooo know how un-alone I am in this, lol lol!!!!! it did help to post it though .. and Alex, by all means, any help with kicking inner child's ass is verrrrrry welcome! lol!!

(big Eagle's fan here! lol!)
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:14 AM   #1513
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Tada, he talks about vegetarianism in his newest book South Beach Wake-up Call.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:55 AM   #1514
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Thanks for the heads up Kettle! I might try to have a look at it at the library!

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Old 01-06-2012, 11:05 AM   #1515
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Pauline, I'm losing very slowly, but I believe I've found a way of eating I can live with. It is very freeing not to count up numbers all day long. I'm 58 and I've done that since I was 13. I commend those who can do it, but something just broke in me - I just couldn't do it anymore.

Pauline, your posts are very motivating. Thank you!
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Old 01-20-2012, 09:28 AM   #1516
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What’s up Sis?

How goes the crazy world of Pauline the super mom?

Still burning the candle at both ends I assume.

Hope all is well.
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Old 01-21-2012, 06:11 AM   #1517
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hey Alex! Yah doing good here! Yep, the kiddos schedules are c-r-r-r-a-a-a-a-z-y between a show, ski lessons, dance lessons and my other dd doing winter training and each activity about an hour from one another, lol! Also:

Saturday January 21, 2011

I'm trying an experiment this week - no scale until Monday - in order to try and keep to my usual usual and take the scale out of the equation. In the last month or two I have noticed the binge eating getting more frequent and having that out-of-control feeling at times even though my weight is within the right range for maintenance - it is an upsetting feeling when I binge and not like a pleasant "Oh I'm going to eat something yummy off-plan" like some folks get, so it is something I need to stop before it does get out-of-hand as I felt myself getting closer and closer to that point ..

Anyhow, staying off the scale now for four days now, and no binges in eleven days, so I am happy happy for that! I will weigh the day before my official TOPS weigh-in, just for a reality check and to prepare myself mentally for Tuesday.
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:07 AM   #1518
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Sunday January 22, 2011

So I have been off the scale for five mornings now .. and 13 days eating and exercising 100% to plan .. and I have to say that this past week while off the scale I have had absolutely no mental urges to overeat in the same way I did the week before. I could get hungry and want something more, have a little something and then be satisfied with that, not winding myself up to full binge mode or even letting my thoughts go there.

Just looking at my weight graph, I do think it is the longest stretch in two and a half months (since mid-October) that I have gone without an incident - kinda sad, as it is only a two week stretch, lol! For a long time before that - like years, it was maybe once a month pms-induced binge .. so of course it is worrisome that heading into perimenopause might cause this ..

Anyhow, I will be interested in seeing what the scale might say tomorrow! My last weigh-in was 130 at TOPS, on Tuesday January 17th .. I suspect, maybe a half pound down, same as the week before? We shall see! I have two weigh-in days coming and then I might do the same next week with the scale since it has gone so well for peace-of-mind!
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Old 01-22-2012, 09:08 AM   #1519
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Hi Pauline. it is great to see you still posting here after so many years of success.

Just wanted to tell you what I am doing and how successful it has been so far. In the past, about 8-10 weeks into low carbing I would get cravings that wouldn't go away. Eventually they always won. After many failures, the logical thing was to not fight them, since fighting didn't seem to work. So after 9 years, I was only 10 lbs less than when I started.

In October I restarted low carb and in November began the leptin reset. It is the closest thing to a silver bullet I have ever seen. People like me who were always sabotaged by cravings are going craving free. Their full signal is working again. I sometimes decide I don't want everything I have prepared and stick some in the refrigerator.

I was watching the news this morning and they showed Rick Santorum in a restaurant getting a to go order of a huge cheeseburger covered with fries. My first thought was "I would have to cut that into 4'ths to be able to eat it all - 4 meals". This is from someone that 4 months ago would have eaten the whole thing easily.

In the past, if I had ice cream in the freezer, it would call my name until I ate it. Now it would have no effect at all. I went to the grocery store and put a half gallon of ice cream in my cart to see if I had any reaction. None. I put it back and never thought about it again.

Only time will tell for sure if this works, but there are a lot of hard core failures that are now having success.

You might want to check it out. I think you could eat most of what you are eating now, just change when you eat it. For example, you start out by eating a big protein breakfast within 30 minutes of waking. The purpose is to reset your body to natural circadian rhythm. Most people, me included, then eat a small or no lunch because they are not hungry. Then dinner is usually much smaller because although you are hungry, your full signal starts working again. I find I eat much slower and savor the food, something I have never done before.

So even though you eat a huge breakfast, most people actually eat less during the rest of the day. I'm guessing I am eating about 1600-1700 calories a day but never count, so can't say for sure.

You have certainly been the big winner while I have struggled, so I'm not trying to say my way is better. Just trying to repay in a small way for all the support you have given me over the years.

I don't know if you are leptin resistant or not, but cravings are not natural for most normal weight people. And for people that are leptin sensitive, if they eat a little extra on occasion, their body just burns it off. That's why I am thinking the leptin reset might be that last little piece of the puzzle for you.

MY LEPTIN PRESCRIPTION - Jack Kruse

Links to some podcasts Jack's Podcast - Jack Kruse
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Old 01-23-2012, 05:10 AM   #1520
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Rich, Thanks so much for all the great information and the links too!! I will definitely check it out!!! I have, unfortunately, kind of become very very aware of what goes on when I binge and it is less cravings for me, than it is emotional stress and general mindset. I actually do plan on increasing my breakfast and might take a page from the leptin plan and be sure the increase is protein-rich.

I do exercise pretty hard four of the days of the week and my meals have suited that whole schedule so far, so we shall see! Again, thanks so much for taking the time to write out all the information on the plan! I will check it out, for sure!

Monday January 23, 2011

I finally weighed in after five days scale-free, and although tomorrow is official weigh-in for TOPS I am down a half pound from last Tuesday, so that is really great news for me, if it is an accurate weight and not a fluctuation, as it means a couple of things:

1) I can eat more than this - a bigger breakfast - and maintain
2) I can continue as is, scale-free again starting Wednesday and either maintain or lose a little weight in the coming week .. still pushing toward 128.5.

.. since it is so small an amount, it could be scale fluctuation, but I am going to just go with it since I am well within the very top of my TOPS range (I am at 129.5 and I can go as high as 134 and still be a maintainer, even though I like to be below 131 sa my very top weight), and if I'm wrong and go up a bit it won't be the end of the world, lol!
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Old 02-07-2012, 05:39 AM   #1521
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Tuesday February 7, 2012

Staying scale-free for 5 days a week is working really well for me and I will continue that for the coming week. As far as food I will make a small change.

Well this cannot possibly be a perfect scientific experiment, lol! While yes, I have been exercising a consistent 4 times a week exactly the same workout, the eating has had some small variations .. like this week, one big-ass Greek salad at a restaurant and a 400 calorie overeating one of the days, but those are the kind of things I can consider part of a normal week .. so far my results of getting strictly to plan and trying to figure out what my new maintenance food levels are to stay between 128-130 lbs, have gone like this:

130.5 on 1/10/12
129.9 on 1/17/12
128.5 on 1/24/12
........................added back in 125 extra calories/day
128.3 on 1/31/12
129.1 on 2/7/12
........................going to eliminate 55 calories/day from dinner

It really is annoying that my maintenance food amounts seem to have dropped suddenly in the last few months. My maintenance amount seems to have been much more forgiving to both planned quantities and the overeating. That has suddenly changed and I am considering a trip to the doctor for a thyroid test .. also need to have some blood sugar testing too since I have been getting weird sudden exhaustion spells that sometimes disappear completely after eating ... but I cannot wait to have any of that done. I have stopped the scale creep and am back in my favored weight range, and need to make sure I solidly stay there, lol!

This crap never ends
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Old 02-11-2012, 12:05 PM   #1522
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You are truly an inspiration to all of us. I have read part of your journal,hoping to read through it all soon,and we have alot in common. I just am in awe with how far you've come and what a positive person you are. I'm struggling right now and i'm sure that is how the majority of us are on this site or we wouldn't be here otherwise. I have been back on track for 6 days now so that is a big deal. Thanks for giving us the strength to continue our weightloss battle through your journaling.
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Old 03-18-2012, 10:10 PM   #1523
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Thank You!

Thank you so much for continuing to post as you make your way through maintenance. I successfully lost weight lc'ing twice before, but screwed up the maintenance. This time, I'm determined to commit to the lc WOE and to make sure that I don't get complacent, and understand this is a lifetime thing. Your being on here is like a touchstone for me, and I am sure that I'll make it this time, even though I have a long way to go.

Just wanted to let you know you are appreciated!
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:37 AM   #1524
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Awww thanks girls

It is just hard work plain and simple, and our society does not make it easy for anyone to keep their weight steady and at a good place. Everything we see tells us that it should not be hard work at all and if it is, well, you are weird. We are supposed to be perfect, effortlessly. That is a crock. Nothing worth having in life comes without some effort!

The trick is to convince yourself at every turn that the effort is worth it!!
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:38 AM   #1525
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Friday March 30, 2012

The key to making permanent change is accepting the hard truth that:

The only way out is through

-Akka Mahadev, 12th century Indian Poet
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:47 AM   #1526
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Sunday April 1, 2012

I was wondering where to post this but I could not imagine who would relate to this anywhere on these boards. I was obese or morbidly obese from the time of childhood. I could never wear normal clothes as a teenager or young adult. My wedding dress (from 20 years ago) would fit two of me in it. I never ever thought seriously that I could be "normal" ..

Ok, so I overhear my 16 year old who is quite thin and about my same height telling a friend what she was wearing to a lunch date .. and one of the items was "my mothers reddish sweater" ...

She shopped in *my* closet for clothes to wear.

I do not think anyone can relate to what a huge NSV that is for me ... something normal that happens between every mother - daughter out there in the universe. I guess I am probably the only mother out here breaking into tears with joy that my daughter is sneaking into my closet and stealing my clothes (and probably ruining them). I never ever dreamed I would be that mother.

My own mother wore normal sizes as I was growing up and I would never have been able to borrow one of her sweaters ...

Yah, ok, a difficult NSV to properly explain ... bizarre to others probably .. ok that's why we have journals!

I am particularly happy today!

Last edited by TaDa!; 04-01-2012 at 05:48 AM..
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Old 04-01-2012, 06:14 PM   #1527
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That is awesome Pauline. I am truly happy for you.

Normal? Really? Is that what you are calling yourself now?? JK! You are the best and deserve nothing less.

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Old 04-25-2012, 09:49 AM   #1528
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Just saw this Pauline - wow! I would love to have that happen to me! What a great reward for your efforts!
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Old 04-25-2012, 12:55 PM   #1529
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
Sunday April 1, 2012

I was wondering where to post this but I could not imagine who would relate to this anywhere on these boards. I was obese or morbidly obese from the time of childhood. I could never wear normal clothes as a teenager or young adult. My wedding dress (from 20 years ago) would fit two of me in it. I never ever thought seriously that I could be "normal" ..

Ok, so I overhear my 16 year old who is quite thin and about my same height telling a friend what she was wearing to a lunch date .. and one of the items was "my mothers reddish sweater" ...

She shopped in *my* closet for clothes to wear.

I do not think anyone can relate to what a huge NSV that is for me ... something normal that happens between every mother - daughter out there in the universe. I guess I am probably the only mother out here breaking into tears with joy that my daughter is sneaking into my closet and stealing my clothes (and probably ruining them). I never ever dreamed I would be that mother.

My own mother wore normal sizes as I was growing up and I would never have been able to borrow one of her sweaters ...

Yah, ok, a difficult NSV to properly explain ... bizarre to others probably .. ok that's why we have journals!

I am particularly happy today!

Suh-weeeet!
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Old 06-01-2012, 04:14 AM   #1530
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Friday June 1, 2012

So, I think it is time to give my journal a little more attention. I have had so much going on in my life and a lot of stress associated with change. I also find I get annoyed with people a lot more easily. It is funny because I effectively cut myself off from a "friend" irl who was just a jealous person trying to ride my coat tails and I ironically find myself again in that situation .. why these people are drawn to me, and what it is I "have" that they do not, I do not know, but I do know it is about attention I get from others. It is actually pathetic, because no matter how hard they try, they will never be me, lol. Anyhow, a journal should be a safe place away from that crap.

I told a friend that I was exceedingly grumpy with my family, and just in general and she mentioned that it is probably perimenopause .. I also think it has to do with the death of my aunt, and my children's new stages of life .... so there you are! I have already yelled at my 16 year old today, so hopefully that is the end of her daily psychological warfare, hahahahahaaaaa!!!!! The rest of the day should be more peaceful.

In general, I also am having trouble getting motivated to get up and exercise but am making myself do it today! Still not sure whether I am going to the gym or for a run (went for a run yesterday), but I will get out there and do something! The good thing about going for a run, is it is a quick solution .. half an hour means 300+ calories and I'm done rather than the gym which means more like a 2 hour stretch (including shower) that eats up my day ..

anyhow, just rambling to myself.
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